i will call you the greater bill and bill schulz is the lesser bill.r romney and big achieve meant for rick or a story to manufacture news? >> this is a very inspirational republican contest. we have a lead candidate who gave us a version of obama care before obama. we had before this, the second guy was the guy who accepted money from freddy mac, and now the front runner who lost his seat by 18 points the last time around. that said, it is an achievement by rick santorum. he has moved out and surprised everyone. >> it is a tragic day for newt. but he will be back. don't count him out. he is like a zombie. newt is like a zombie. you can shoot him. you can stab him, and he keeps coming back. do the results just speak to the fickleness of the gop voter? >> when newt comes back, everybody remembers the reason they didn't vote him into office in the first place, right? what you have on the table is everybody in search of the gop. i think what santorum said last night, he is not running as a conservative alternative to mitt romney. she running as a conserva

it is about bill schulz's three nipples. and our new york times correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> inning rid -- ingrid riel yells profiles the city in belgium. the piece reminds me of something, quote, una-panuna una-panuna-bunga. and loosely translated that means i would like some mayo with my fries please. sorry, it is the only belgian i know. >> well let's move on. can they give an award without us getting board? yes, it is oscar time once again, and people all-around the world will be waiting breathlessly on sunday for the nightmare to end. what can be done to make the show more fun? well bloomburg writer, if that is her real name, offers suggestions to reverse the trend of the broadcast's dwindling viewer ship. first, kill everyone. she suggests splitting the best picture category into two segments. one for movies that sell pour than 10 million tickets and others that sell for less. she notes this would mean the films people actually saw like harry potter that was about a gardener who has a hair problem, "rise o

what happened when bill schulz visited the tallest basketball player in the world?adly, he returned. >>> paul stergis is not only the tallest harlem globe trotter, but he is the tallest player on earth and maybe even including saturn. the -- with the team in town for another big win "red eye" interviewed the goliath and to be both so big and british. >> thanks, greg. i am at madison square garden, home of the rangers, the knicks and the occasional awful guns and roses concert. let's go to an arena big enough to hold the world's tallest basketball player. well actually we couldn't get into msg because of something called the westminster dog show. but we are currently right next door, and it it is what i would like to think is the greatest conference room in the world. if we can, perspective shot, paul, tiny, stergis, a real new york giant. let's do it. i would be remiss if i didn't ask, would you be my valentine? >> i already have several offers, but i will take the rose. >> wow, all right. it is like a lot of other women i know too. now, for starters, your accent is

and the janitors keep trying to empty him, bill schulz. and he is the thinking man's grizzly adams, the most rugged thing to come out of scotland. sitting next to me, gavin mcguinness, and his book "how to [bleep] in public comes out march 20th." yes, we will bleep it. we will blur it. and it is no wonder he is going under. good to see you, pinch. >> that's one book be -- we will not be reviewing. >> they shall best the patriots a score of 62.3 to the color as you are. truth be told, sports isn't exactly the paper of records real house. that said, i am excited to introduce the new wheel house section this week. whereupon we will profile several 19th century steering stations that are real jim dandy's. no more sports section for us. >> it is about time. >>> we are a nation torn over library porn. yes, the washington state library district, is there any other, has refused to allow access to on-line smut, and now it is sued by something. when computer users type porn into a search engine, it is as if porn doesn't exist. terrifying, but true.

and 100% said bill schulz sucks. the people have spoken. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning rooooouuuuunnnnndddd. lightning round. >> anthony, doesn't it say more about the quality of sex partners these people have than the size of their bills? >> exactly. what percent was that? >> that's 25. >> 25%. well, there are people not having sex for longer than six months. >> i don't know. it is always -- they always try to pit things against sex. sex is great. isn't it? >> in a way it is like a hate crime against sex. >> sex rules. also a good slogan. >> is the sex just not that important? >> well, it all depends on where you are in your life at that particular time. if you are getting busy and you are having the best time of your life with who ever it is for a certain period of months, you are not giving that crap up. if you are in a drought for a year, you are like, yeah, absolutely i will give it up. it is all relative. by the way, it is the exact opposite of prostitution. would you have sex if i paid your bills? i don't know. >> juliette

and bill schulz, he thinks he is hosting the oscars. and michael money gnaw han. pretty sure that is a made up job. and our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> he profiled scientists using stem cells that will provide a way to treat infertility. i don't know what that means, but i am definitely against a presidential candidate. rick santorum didn't say it, but he thinks. it is what the times has been flirting with. that's a strategy that really makes covering hard news easier, don't you know. by gum and/or hitherto. >> it is what you have been doing all along. >> it is the question on absolutely nobody's mind. when will he address the missing vest? in breaking santorum news, rick has stopped wearing his signature armless sweater. when asked about the matter he told yaw -- yahoo news, quote, i don't wear them every day. he said, but he hasn't worn one in seven days. the pennsylvania pistol kicked up controversy by calling president obama a snob. >> not all folks are gifted in the same way. some people had incredible gifts with their hands. some

bill schulz, he thinks he is on "the voice" right now. and next to me is the former u.s. ambassador to the u.n and fox news contributor. right now he is considering whether or not to shave his mustache live on the show. stay tuned. and his readers are leaving because his cart cals -- his articles are deceiving. good to see you, pinch. >> today in sports he focuses on the five-time olympic medal list as she trains to jump back into the bull at the advanced age of 40. and to that i say big deal you buoyant harlet. i am 161 years young and training to be a shot put and be a paper maid curling during the winter games or something to read as the wrestlers grunt their way to making way to top their locker room toilets. >> you are not really. >> will negotiations get bumpy as iran acts jumpy? the islamic country is no longer the ray of sunshine i once thought it was? warning that it would take preemptive actions against the perceived foes if it felt threatened. talk about a snub, tucker. iran's deputy armed forces head said, quote, our strategy is that if we feel our enemies wan

it is bill schulz. and always a reservation for one when serving beef cake like him. sitting next to me, rick leventhall. and everyone is wise to his bias and lies. good to see you, pinch. >> in our oscar coverage we will learn how to pull off a tux like george clooney. that is easy for you to say. but we would also need legs, arms and a torso to follow that ininstruction. you, sir, are from the first order. >> there is some hand clapping on top of my head. >> i don't understand. he was chasing by jason. alexzander that is. during wednesday night's debate, mitt romney dared quote a line from seinfield and when the actor who played george heard he quit he flipped. first here is the not at all outdated reference. >> i want to restore america's promise and i am going to do that tonight. as george caw stan swraw would say, they are plotting a stop. >> a few hours later he responded on twitter writing, quote, he enjoyed my old character. i enjoy the character he used to be. >> mr. smarty pants follows it now. he messed up the line. it was actually jerry who says to george,

it is my repulsive skidmark, bill schulz. it is john philips, the host of the john philips show. and he is an inky irritation with declining population. screw you, pinch. >> today the nation section profiles walk denver, an organization that encourages fat locals to walk to work rather than drive. in those temperatures, there is as much a chance of that as me walking, period. i am so immobile. >> that's true. >> in any valentine's day cards from fellow papers ? >> i haven't got a letter from the boston globe in years. she caught me with the post and the post is mail. that made it even more awkward. >> sorry to hear about that. >> no, i don't think you are. you said screw you, so you don't care. nice turtle neck. >> thank you. >>> can a bureaucrat gone wild tell you how to feed your child. 5* north carolina preschooler, is there any other kind? he was forced to consume three chicken nuggets, yes three, for lunch last month because a state employee told her the meal mom packed didn't meet the u.s. department of agriculture's nutritional guidelines. the vision of child development a

and his imaginary friend kicked sand in his eyes and stole his bike, my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and you can find his face strapped to the side of a cruiseship, paul mccurio. >> his latest cd is image makeover and boy could he use one. >> and he is a deceitful rash who belongs in the trash. good to see you, pinch. >> today on-line video of a conference between major league baseball ground keepers. >>mutton chop and sassafras, over hydrating the tinkers to evers to chad. might be a little less on the beep. sadly hahn reold upkeeper whitey mcseparate but equal put the kabosh and ordered the land keeper dry up the mud if he knew what was good for him. curse words like rasberries rasberries and malarky were screamed from the stands on that day of days. >> there you go. >> stop the presses. >> can they work as a team after he made her scream? or could he score a hit after he landed several? i speak of chris brawn and -- chris brown and rihanna. rihanna seen hereafter brown beat the crap out of her three years ago put out a remix of her song "birthday cake" that features her former lo

it is my sidekick who is repulsive and it is bill schulz. and he can kill you with his pinky. pinky, by the way, is what he calls his double-barrel shotgun. next to me is u.s. army special forces terry sappert. and our new york times worry spawn dent. good to see you, pinch. >> john schwartz interviews former astronaut john glenn. i remember in the movie "the red stuff" when glen was played by ed harris is locked in a space capsule and unable to exit before countdown. he bravely your nates into -- urinates into his jump suit. my bad. that was allen shepherd. why didn't you include a bladder buddy up in that thing, nasa? >> that's what we got? >>> she was chagrined over lin so he took a swipe at the hype. i speak of floyd maywether who is not dazed by the knicks guard. he is on the right. the unbeaten boxer on the left thinks jeremy madness, as my masseuse, scott, calls it, has something to do with race. tweeting on monday night, quote. , jeremy lin is a good player, but the hype is because he is asian. black player does what he does every night and don't get the same praise. a

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and even his substitute chamber pot is a 1 percenter. new york observer contributor dana vachon. and he is a talking paper who is out of shaper. our new york times correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> republican candidate mitt romney admits his gaps are ending his campaign. he walked over on to an aids back so he could get to his already running bentley and he raced to a meeting at the four seasons. ♪ all the news that's fient to print -- that's fit to print, yeah ♪ >> that did not happen. >> it may have happened. >> i don't believe it. >> i was told to not comment further. >> all right then. >> yes. >> they admit they cower for they fear power. that's the message as seen here. so why is that, why is thatters? thompson spated crap about how they are having a close ethnicity. and when it comes down to the difference between polite complaints and death threats, he is scared of the threats. he said, without question, i complain in the strongest possible terms is different from i complain in the strongest possible terms, and i am loadin

pleasure, bill schulz, sherrod small. that does it for me. i'm your friend and your only friend, the most important person in your life, america's bad boy, greg gutfeld. over foreclosure abuse. we'll explain what it could mean for you. this is "special report." ♪ ♪ >> bret: good evening. i'm bret baier. millions of americans tonight are trying to figure out if today's deal wean the obama administration and the five largest mortgage lenders will help them get a better deal on refinancing. fox business network senior washington correspondent peter barnes has specifics on the $25 billion settlement. and what it might mean for your mortgage. >> after a year of tough negotiations, five big banks agree to a $25 billion settlement with the obama managers and 49 states except oklahoma. to clean up foreclosure scandal that included robo signing. >> america's biggest banks, banks that were rescued by taxpayer dollars will be required to right these wrongs. that means more than just paying a fee. these banks will put billions of dollars toward relief fo

and he was voted off the great survivor edition, bill schulz. and his beard has its own beard.is so excited to be here. gavin mcguiness writer for talking mad.com. his book how to hmmm in public comes out march 20th. and his pages line cages. it is our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pimp. >> today's front page looks at the variety and >> >> my personal favorite is the game show which loosely translated means, you are the food. he slashed the host slash police officer to get out of the political nature. he is immediately sent and gets eaten by a bear. >> that's nice. >> it is nice. wish we had that here. >> wish we did too. >> yes. agree to agree. >> go away, strange paper. >>> they thought adele was swell and made a big do to do about the foo. yes, the grammies grammied into our living rooms on sunday night and what a wonderful night who chose for anyone who did not watch. among the performers, this young man. yes, that was chris brown returning three years after he assaulted his then girlfriend rihanna. remember that picture? "if you will note, he has not been

bill schulz who thinks he is watching jeremy lin right now and anthony kumia co-host of the opi expenthony show. and i forgot to write something for mim. i'm sorry. >> it is okay. it is just me. i am good enough on my own. i am a stand alone guy. >>> he is a donor made of boner. but should the jest hurt the man in the vest? santorum supporter made controversial comments about pregnancy prevention. >> the contraception thing is so expensive. back in my day they used bayer asprin as contraception. the gals put it between their knees and it wasn't as costly. >> so he apologized saying why his joke confused and offended some people. and quote, my wife constantly tells me i need new material. she understood the joke but didn't like it. so i will keep the old one in the past where it belongs. on friday rick santorum responded disavowing the flop of a joke and calling out charlie rose for his, quote, gotcha questions. >> every supporter who says something i will have to respond, look, this is what you guys do. you don't do this with president obama. in fact, what you did with president obam

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he is our only resident running for president, the new mexico governor and probably the most normal 2012 hopeful we have seen in awhile, gary johnson. and his kind of ink won't make you think. it is our new york times correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> ahoy fans of penny pinching. all the news that is fit to print is available for daily delivery at $6.05 per week. now i should give you this warning -- ♪ listen to me, baby they call me heartbreaker ♪ ♪ i don't want to deceive you ♪ ♪ and if you fall for me i'm not easy to please ♪ ♪ i'm a tear you apart ♪ told you from the start baby from the start ♪ i'm gonna break your heart ♪ ♪ break your heart >> you want me to continue? >> no. >> ♪ break your heart >> stop it. >> well he went from headlines to the unemployment lines. on sunday espn fired the editor who used the phrase "ch nie k in the armor" when talking talking about jeremy lin, but jeremy says the racial slur never crossed his mind. he said, quote, this had nothing to

and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if he were mt. everest i would need a bottle to cloim him. the ceo of wall street strategies. and it is that stupid talking paper, good to see you pinch. >> the term ticker tape used in brokerages. the material used in ticker tape parades like the one we had today is nothing more than unprinted and shredded newspapers. that's right, giants fans were throwing around shards of my brethren flesh in this celebration, you monsters. it is enough to become a patriots fan. >> you know what bothers me? that's what i was going to talk about in the parade segment was ticker tape and where it came from. >> well, if you had asked me i could have told you. i know everything. >> i will have to think of something else. >>> is we the people obsolete? according to a new study the constitution is losing its appeal around a -- around the world, no longer a code to be copied. researchers from washington university and uva note that among the world's democracies, similarity has gone into free fall. the new york times off

bill schulz, joe devito, michael money gnaw han. that's it for me. i will see you next time. tomor. >> bret: the next phase of the republican presidential campaign begins in just hours, live from michigan, this is special report. >> . >> good evening, i'm bret baier, we're live in birmingham, michigan, about 20 miles north of detroit. after a three week break the republican presidential campaign enters a crucial stage tomorrow. voters in arizona and here in michigan will begin an eight day stretch in which more than 500 convention delegates are at stake. that's about half the total it it it takes to win the nomination. and chief political correspondent carl cameron starts us off tonight. >> facing a dead heat in the polls and a must-win tomorrow in his native state of michigan, mitt romney attacked rick santorum not able, with a line he's reserved for president obama. >> he's a nice guy, but never had a job in the private sector, worked as a lobbyist, elected official, that's fine. if the issue of the day is the economy, i think to create jobs, it helps to have a guy as presi

it is bill schulz. and he kills audiences with his razor sharp wit and giant razor. next to me comedian tom shalou. it is called serious. and he is a rag who hates the flag. our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> today phyllis journeys to the far off world that is williamsburg to discuss the trend that is called man buns. truth be told if a writer spotted one person wearing a fully loaded diaper in a cool area of brooklyn it would garner that man babies are the new hotness in thursday styles ssments that's it. >> that is it. >> that is indeed it. >> it is it indeed. >> it is not not it. >> triple. >>> is anything more momentous than trump taking a new apprentice? >> the billionaire endorsed a millionaire. in las vegas, a town, ending minutes of speculation. a huge deal according to trump. but others wonder will romney get a bump? let's get to the announcement. it makes me wonder was it an honor, a real honor and privilege for the donald to endorse mitt romney? >> it is my honor, it is my real honor and privilege to endorse mitt romney. >> ask a

it is bill schulz. he has been voted man of the year by the creepy drifter monthly. sitting next to me, jim norton. you must buy his comedy cd. and he is a talking paper. it is our new york times correspondent. >> happy anniversary that had zero buzz until the paper started making regular appearances. and while it might be noteworthy in some circumstance el cs, today was our 55,000-- 55,673rd issue printed. happy anniversary to me. no presents necessary. knowing i am better than you is gift enough. >> we owe it all to you coming on "red eye" jie. it is about time you said it. >> i meant it cor was stickily. >> i didn't get it because i was too busy admiring our two-shot. we are on the screen together. >> all right. >> right all. >>> he flipped the bird and set a bad word. mia, if that is a real name proving she is as edgy as a tennis ball gave the finger during the half time show robbing more than a million viewers you of their innocence. watch it again. >> i am offended. a source close to the british hip hop startles abc news that her actions were caused by, quote,