and bill schulz blessedly out of the country and filling in for him is an acclaimed star of stage and screen. catch him staring opposite jude law in an adeptation of "battleship." and sitting next to me is comedian and serial killer tom shalou. there is no pinch. thereth is weird. i was ready to throw to pinch, and i am glad i don't have to. it was a breakfast club with the dude from "scrubs." on thursday president obama held a special early morning get together at the beverly hills hotel with 25 young hollywood stars. it included zach brass, diana

and bill schulz who thinks he is in got them city rising up against baine. and look it is anthony cumea, co-host of the "opi expe anthony -- and an thon nay show." >> today in science the jennette tau cysts sequenced the genome in the hope of breeding better specimens and found that it is 30,000 genes versus 30,000 in a human being. which begs the question, who cares? and furthermore, why do we do this story to begin with? never mind. >> everything you say begs the question, who cares? i'm talking to both of you. >> making fun of an inadd met -- an inadd do met object. why go through the paces? mitt romney may have officially clinched the gop nomination. apparently the election is already over. according to a volume gist, the skies predict an obama reprize. five star stargazers assess the opponent and say barak will be back. for you know nothings, that's when the sun enters the sign of air reece. that clinches the decision. she says, quote, it is obvious obama stays where it is without a change in status. you know who is not staying where he is? no uh stroll

my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and a if fierce comentary was a fog horn i would blow him on a yacht. next to me tucker tucker carlton and the stories he prints makes the nation wins. it is our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> this week they profiled owe braye ham lincoln -- profiled "abraham lincoln, vampire hunter." he was actually a hunter of the undead. he was a revered mummy therapist. the more you know, greg. >> fantastic. four more years, will it end in tears? the washington post, an actual post, wonders if it is possible for obama or any president to win a second term in the modern world of politics. the paper sites a pessimism about the country, intense partisan ship and a splint erred media that has twitter, blogs and facebook. he plays along saying, quote, due to the evolution of our politics and media we may never see a two-term president again. in an era of high definition politics where every flaw is exposed it is challenging to effectively govern, puke. for more let's go live t

my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. >> you laughed at that. and he is chess king's most successful cat tau log model, writer and caw -- and comedian, jesse joyce. what was that? pro joyce. >> i was doing my eyebrows. >> it is too late. and his circulation is decreased so he will soon be deceased. good to see you, pinch. >> there is is a youtube sensation, umg kitty can be a biological learning aid when it comes to young students. when reached for comment the feline responded with, quote, me -- meow, meow, meow, meow. >> well done, intern punch. back to you, greg. >> this is turning into a theater of concern. >> tv. >> let's go to serious news. is the face of people tied to the beatle? thanks to global warming, you know what that is, insect population is soaring and they are killing forests in montana. the bigger picture, some scientists say the earth could be nearing a point where mass extinction would undermine maned inned could. mankind. it is spurred by economic expansion go gobbling up land. said one called expert, the situation scares the

and bill schulz thinks he is traveling to permethius. and next to me is paul mccurio.nd he is a lefty punk who only prints junk. how are you, pinch? >> it is that time of the year when fresh-faced young sc ri bes enter in the form of summer interns. you there. what section would you like to work for, young man? david brooks hired you, didn't he? he will be in the mailroom. >> i always thought the only thing that would make this better is if there are two of them. both of you go away. so there is a socialist and chief and does he need celebrity relief 1234* he attempted to put the fun in fundraiser as he hobb knobbed and it has me so outraged that -- sorry, i can't do this. i have been teasing this story about relationships for the last two weeks. we never get to it. tonight i am hosting. guess who is leading off the a block. a study from the university of iowa has found that couples who have sex early on has the same quality as those who put off getting off. meaning that one nightstand could be the love of your life. as to what happens to the couples who wait? i am jus

bill schulz is not here once again. filling in is michael moynahan. and he is so sharp he can shred lettuce by sneezing on it. it is quite useful on taco night. allen covert, that's three things. and he is one of the producers of "that's my boy" c adam sandler and andy sandburg that hopes on friday. i have seen it 18 times. i am lying. >>> let's do a story. with which celeb should he break bread? now obama supporters can decide. they will choose who should be the president's next vp. a new twist on the barak fundraising contest. before they could win a meal with bam, but now it is so much more. the campaign's official blog invites people to, quote, pitch in $3 or whatever you can to be automatically entered to win a seat at the table. and then make sure to weigh in on who you think should join president obama. he has the gorming clooney, sara jessica parker and of course president bill clinton. who is next? "red eye" had some suggestions and i decided to put together my top choices if i happen to win the raffle. >> i don't even know what the algonquin

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if hilarity was laundry i would do him on a friday night. sherrod small. >> in the house. >> not really. it is a studio. and our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> speaking to the latino elected officials, mitt romney proposes granting green cards to immigrants and giving legal status to immigrants serving in the military. i condemn that, countered mitt romney. [laughing] that funny joke, boss. who mitt romney? intern, you are an idiot, but you make a great cup of coffee. >> how can he make coffee? he has no hands. >> he does it with his mouth. duh. >> i never saw the little one before. >> they are not shooting it anymore. it does prove that anytime you take something and make it smaller it is cuter. jay it is so cute. >> cuter and dumber. >>> it was doing time or a sore behind. in a strange and yet trans fixing youtube video posted this week, a young man who is apparently dating a underage girl is given two punishments bay the father, a butt whipping and jai

and bill schulz blessedly out of the country and filling in for him is an acclaimed star of stage and screen. catch him staring opposite jude law in an adeptation of "battleship." and sitting next to me is comedian and serial killer tom shalou. there is no pinch. thereth is weird. i was ready to throw to pinch, and i am glad i don't have to. it was a breakfast club with the dude from "scrubs." on thursday president obama held a special early morning get together at the beverly hills hotel with 25 young hollywood stars. it included zach brass, diana agron 1k3* 40-year-old jarod leto. but while it was a campaign event, part of the young america effort in which he urged the well ebbed actors to get involved. many took to twit tore reach out to young america posting pics with the prez. they wrote, quote, maybe the only man i truly get nervous around. and ian somerholder said, 21st, century, lets de this. i just talk to this man about green energy and being a young american. wow. and today's to do list, maker of the free world laughed. speaking of cozy relationships. >> that really was lik

and bill schulz who just took bath salts. and next to me is michigan congressman thadius mccoder. and we have pinch. how are you pinch? >> which of the headlines belong to the paper of record? john edwards acquitted on one count. mistrial on five others. and the second, still guilty of being a cheating, lying, disgraceful husband, father and human being. which banner goes to the broad sheet and which to the tabloid? if you have to ask, you don't know how to read. >> m why pretty sure you don't know how to read. >>> it is a set baying for bagram. he lost steve gutenberg. he expressed disappointment with obama noting, quote, it is hard to believe in the presidency anymore. the gut was asked about the banking crisis saying, quote, i voted for obama, but i don't want to see obama on "the view" and playing firsbie and i don't want to know it is $40,000 at george clooney's house. and i love cloney into. that was gutenberg. and i think he should be at his desk all day. mitt romney was asked about a bunch of hecklers who showed up to shout down obama's senior advisor at a campaign event.

and he is back from his latest round, my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if hilarity was an ab workout, i would do him in under six minutes on the floor of my living room. next to me, comedian or so he claims to be though i haven't seen proof, shaw rad small. and the words he doth say willied you a stray. good to see you, pinch. >> a times editor your wholeheartedly supports the demolishing of the great works dam. there by replenishing the dore president ma salmon population. >> well done. >> i was guy be inned hind the guy -- behind the guy in the t-shirt. >> it is a pittsburgh pirate. it is a pittsburgh pirate ladies and gentlemen. there we go. >> there is the proof. >> does flashing a severed head mean they want him dead? "game of throwns" apologized for george w. bush's head on a spike during the show's season finale last year. the whole thing had gone unnoticed until they put it out on their dvd commentary track. >> i am saying people should back up. the last head on the left is george bush. george bush's head appears in a couple beheading scenes.

bill schulz is out still getting his body waxed. filling in for him once again is reason magazine contributing editor and jerk michael moynahan. and he is the star of the lifetime movie, got cash dash goth paper boy, writer and comedian, jesse joyce. his cd is called "pro joyce." was he banned from the police on account of his beliefs? a muslim-american man, is there any other kind, says a new york police department wouldn't hire him because he believed gays should be thrown in jail. the dude identified as far hand doe is suing the department for discrimination claiming his 2009 application was rejected. when he answered yes to the question, do you believe homosexuals should be locked up? he changed his views saying homosexuality was a sin, but not worthy of arrest. but the department says no to doe and his lawyer claims that's a violation of first amendment rights and that the nypd can't keep him off the force for anti-gay thoughts. speaking of things that are filled with hate. >> he is saying, i hate gay people. in the green room,

politically incorrect book of socialism" and in holland he is considered a canoe, my sidekick, bill schulz. and he knocks audiences dead with his humor and his giant, bloody shovel. it is comedian tom shalou. and all of his words are written by turds. good to see you, pinch. >> according to the rogues, 37 years og today a -- ago today "jaws" opened in theaters everywhere expint deuced the con september of summer blockbusters. i would like to act out one of the film's more memorable scenes. back to you. >> thank you. that was scary. i hope for a sequel. >>> so did obama, did president obama once tickle a boy to death? no, but you are close, america. according to a new bio of barak, as a kid the future president broke a friend's arm tickling his ear while riding a bike. i said it was close. the book by david moranis and it gives a detailed look at his early life. new york magazine picked out choice trivia like obama had an unusually hard head as a child. he was known for his, quote, wicked impression of mick jagger. didn't everybody do an impression. he used brute spray de -- de yoder rent a

my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and a very busy man, strange too. and he is rarely bold and is starting to mold. our new york times correspondent. good to see you pincho. >> today in health, they are helping track stars learn from the running styles of cheetahs. you know what i learned in this article? nothing. how about you? what did you learn? >> ice cream. >> no, not what you had for lunch. what did you learn about the article? >> ice cream. >> get him out of here. >> he is adorable. >> if aliens come, can we count on the one? >> most americans, 65%, i believe that is most, say that president obama is better suited than mitt romney to handle an out of space invasion. the poll was commissioned by the national geographic channel to promote the new sear re, we have run out of ideas. it is actually about ufo's. 36% of the united states believed ufo's exist. 79% say the government is hiding information about them. 65% think there are real life men in black whose mission it is to keep it secret. and 80% think my quads are out of this world. all of this

bill schulz is off so emma watson is in a stage adeptation of rock of ages. and she knows big time socks like i love knitting socks. next to me is liz mcdonald. and there is no pinch tonight so we get to start the show right now. well, i have noticed by naked dc.com, an internet address, the president's campaign has launched an obama event registry where your wedding guest can make a donation to his re-election effort. as they put it, got a birthday, anniversary or wedding coming up? let your friends know how important it is to you. register with obama 2012 and ask for a donation in lieu of a gift. it is a great way to support the president on your big day. and it is a gift we can appreciate and goes farther than a gravy bowl. try telling that to these little fellows. >> i have had thanksgivings like that? not really. i usually am on my couch watching a turkey dinner. enough about me. keith? >> yes. >> this is kind of gross. aren't weddings political enough with the seating arrangements and all? >> they are. i thought they said it goes further than a gravy bo

bill schulz is out of the country getting hormone treatments. it happens every four months. filling in michael moynahan. and sitting next to me jonathon hunt, freshly married. chief correspondent for studio b, whatever that means and "the fox report" on fox newschannel. no pinch today. >> no. >> all right. then let's start the show. she used to have a crush, and now she is in no rush. amberly edinger better known as obama girl is no longer bonkers for bagram. for barak. she said, quote, not as excited as the last time. that's for sure. in 2008 the model model/actress/whatever went from the unknown to the opposite of unknown after appearing in this viral video. i love viral. >> ♪ so i put down. >>> -- down my kerry sign and i had to make you mine. are you sexy, you are so fine. because i have a crush on obama. ♪ ♪ barak obama baby you are the best candidate ♪ >> it is amazing she didn't take off. they say those crazy times and barack obama was the first internet president and her experience was a rollercoaster ride. but now she is not sure about the man she helped make presid

. >> a special thanks to mary katherine and bill schulz and rick leventhal "the o'reilly factor is onbs, nbc, abc, chocked full of issue wills not true. >> in the face of evidence dan rather denying the national media tilts left. we will give you the facts mr. rather will not be able to refute. bernie goldberg will. >> they are racism and sexism in a back door attempt to make abortion illegal. >> bill: some far left democrats saying gender based abortion should be allowed in the u.s.a. that's what they do in china. we'll have a follow-up report on this incredible situation.

and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if hilarity was a ketchup bottle i would pound his bottom in an all night diner. with me, actor, writer, comedian with a great new book coming out june 12th, "america you sexy bleep." and our new york times are correspondent. good to see you, pinch, hope you do well tonight. >> 150 years old. do not age me. in sports which is a section of mine greg bishop reports that sharapova looks comfortable in her role as the favorite to win the french open. when asked to comment, the sultry russian superstar was quoted as saying [grunting]. see how my mouth matched? it matched every word i said. >> that's impressive. >> i have been working on it. tell that magical giant i am better at this now since he was on last night. >> for those who didn't want penn gillette humiliated pinch for saying -- what did he say? >> he said my words don't match my mouth sometimes, and they do tonight. >>> do they have a right to be in "snow white"? little people are upset that universal chose nondwarf actors as

and jamaica is considered a bong, my sidekick, bill schulz. and if hilarity was a limbo i would do him on the beach until my back gave out. sitting next to me, jim norton, his comedy special "please be offended" airs on epics. and he is the propaganda spreader you would love to put in a shredder. good to see you, pimp. >> today in "the times" and he curved the arrest of pedestrians caught with small amounts of marijuana. after making announcement they ripped out the sports section and smoked the entire thing and said, somebody get me a coffee cake. ♪ all the news that's sphit -- that's fit to print ♪ >> on sunday during the teen mom network movie awards they trotted out actress sarah jessica parker touting an upcoming show, roll the ad. >> the guy who ended the war in iraq, the guy who said you should marry anyone you want and the guy who created four million new jobs, that guy, president obama and michelle are coming to my house for dinner on june 14th, and i want you to be there too. but you have to go to join obama.com for your chance to wi

it is bill schulz. and he is cuter that a koala hugging a panda and covered in blood. next to me is columnist and author jedediah bila. and he has no talent. our no, times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> today the title of the op-ed says, acid test for marine life. it is about the environmental problem of ocean ocidification. how did you enjoy the cool aid i made for you? why are the walls bleeding right now? sadly i can't even tell if he is tripping right now. greg? >> another sterling performance by the newspaper player. the aca lives another day. on thursday, the supreme court, the highest court in the land, likely because they are smoking something, upheld nearly all of president obama's affordable care act, aka, obama care, aka, the ruin of this great country i love dearly. in a 5-4 decision the court deemed the mandate constitutional, but only because it fell within congress' authority to tax, not because it was a sound policy. so i wonder was today's decision a victory for people all over this country whose lives will be more secure because of this law

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and i would pay good money to watch kenny g blow him in a crowded theater. he also has a new pod cast and you can find it at penn sunday school.com. they still have those. and the latest book "we are still plugging you" is now available in paperback. it is sean hannity's favorite book. and he is a lefty crap thrower you would run over with a mower. good to see you, pinch. >> today in sports he pray views the upcoming -- previews the upcoming bellmont stakes. oh, a day at the racetrack. reminds me when we used to sit at the racetrack. oh doo-da-day. going to run all night. going to run all day. back in the day gay meant happy. >> okay. >> that's old timey talk. >> i'm sure. j do we still have him here? >> are you talking about your vet work. one of those things tied with being a ma -- magician is being a vet. you have to learn to do your v's and p's and if your lips don't move. and think of the time as a character. put character to it and move your lips the right way. they look like th

and no bill schulz? what? back to tv's andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> it is like a party tomorrow. >> it is. >> i like that. >> harris, what do you got? >> fox report on saturday night 4 p.m. eastern. o dark 30 west of there. >> a show devoted to foxes, all sorts of ks toes. >> it is always hot on "the fox report." bill did it. >> bernie, what do you have? >> i will be atyucko bucks. imus in the morning all over the country and david letterman next week. just kidding. >> really? too bad. that would have been fun. >> it would have been nice. sherrod what are you doing with your ventures? >> good morning america, july 9th, i premiere, third hour. get it right. >> don't move man. we hillary play it at 2:00 p.m. >> sherrod, don't be angry. >> i am joyous. good afternoon, america. >> is that what they call it? >> they paid me.

. >> a special thanks to mary katherine and bill schulz and rick leventhal "the o'reilly factor is on." cbs, nbc, abc, chocked full of issue wills not true. >> in the face of evidence dan rather denying the national media tilts left. we will give you the facts mr. rather will not be able to refute. bernie goldberg will. >> they are racism and sexism in a back door attempt to make abortion illegal. >> bill: some far left democrats saying gender based abortion should be allowed in the u.s.a. that's what they do in china. we'll have a follow-up report on this incredible situation. ♪ always coca cola. >> bill: new york city banning the sale of large sodas as part of its managing obesity campaign. the culture warriors thirst to enter the debate. ♪ you're the best generation. >> bill: also tonight megyn kelly on the john edwards' verdict. caution, you are about to enter the no spin zone, the factor begins right now. >> bill: hi, i'm bill o'reilly. thanks for watching us tonight. the talking points memo on what dan rather told jon stewart and it's a whopper in our next statement with bernie

schulz and shaw rad small. that does it for me. america's bad boy staring at you. >> bill: the o'reilly factor is on, tonight: >> would it surprise you to know that is he a political contributor to president obama's campaign? >> bill: more trouble for the obama administration. one of the investigators appointed to look into national security leak has donated money to the president. megyn kelly and i will analyze. >> we have proven time in and time out that we're clean. >> now an olympic agency is after lance armstrong for doping. he says he didn't do it, the anti-doping agency says he did. we'll tell you what's going on. >> i haven't got a gun on me denison. >> no? then we will do t the hard way. >> bill: john wayne died 33 years as this week. the great american news quiz will salute him. >> should i get you a pillow? caution, you are about to enter the no spin zone, the factor begins right now. >> bill: hi, i'm bill o'reilly, thanks for watching us tonight. is the fix in regarding national security leaks? that is the subject of this evening's talking points memo. as you k

what bill clinton's think about it as focus groups in the seven swing states where they've tested it and they believe it will continue to resonate. >> yesterday, condoleezza rice and george schulze endorsed romney. and last night nancy reagan. this still photo, we see she's back up on her feet. she had had broken ribs and was not at the reagan library for a speech last week by paul ryan. there she is with the romneys. it says a lot nancy reagan is conferring her blessing on the republican presumptive nominee. >> and saying that ronnie always has been, always would be, would be impressed with romney's business record and background. not necessarily his ideologic march through his political life which with ronald reagan became ideological throughout his career. you can't say the same of romney. she emphasized the business background. >> she's looking down at your issue of the national journal. your story is that the sort of scary rhetoric and nasty ads that have been kind of a horror show so far in this campaign, it's really not that. it's really all aimed at a certain sector of women. >> a certain sector of women, noncollege educated women who are very responsive to the bain ads.