this is the bill schulz action figure. action bill comes with three daughters. as you can see i have a microphone and there is a pinch and intern puppet wearing a gender neutral outfit. and the thing about the bill schulz action doll is the gender may be neutral, but the fun is in fourth gear. >> last word to you. what do you think? >> first of all, i am not sure girls with machine guns is a christmas catalog. when i last looked it was a magazine seen in a different category. and 15.9 million byes you -- buys you a cup of coffee. >> doesn't that promote mill tearism? >> i don't mind. i am raising my kids in new york. a girl was bang, bang, banging with a boy in the playground and he said no guns. she said, it is not real. >> that's great. >>> coming up, what is the story behind fish and chips? why he named his biceps on the greatest meal. why did chris brown quit twitter? >>> he is better at beating than he is to tweeting. alleged r&b singer chris brown deleted his twitter account after the singer was increasingly foul-mouthed and drew national attention. it sta

and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and large, shirtless men would enter him daily if he was a son gnaw. the cia operative and president of diligence, diligence, makers of diligence dental floss and diligence fluoride. five out of five dentists recommend diligence. >> he waited to say that. too bad it was funny. if only he could comb over this mess. it is day four of the petraeus scandal. fox news reports the former cia director was confronted over his alleged relationships joy the investigation wasn't complete. initial worries about a security breech weren't justified. and it was by harassing e-mails sent from dummy accounts. a close friend of the petraeus family. kelly alerted a friend about the messages which appeared to be an attempt to black mail petraeus. there is so much more to the story and red eye reporters continue to dig for information. >> there is a lesson in there somewhere. let's go to the person who is following the story most. lauren, jill kelly apparently wasn't having an affair with petraeus. why was

bill schulz, do you think he just broke up with justin bieber? and sitting next to me is penn jaw let. he hosts a pod cast called penn sunday school that you can find at pep sunday school.com. and if that is thought enough, which i think it is not, his book came out to compete with greg. >> were the e-mails flirty or just friendly? our national security hangs in the balance. he is on hold as investigators pour over the 20,000 documents and hundreds of messages that equaled to an inappropriate communication with tampa socialite jill kelley. allen, the top nato commander in afghanistan, quote, used terms of endearment, but not in a flirtatious way. as one official notes, if you know allen, and who doesn't, he is the kind of guy who will respond to every e-mail he gets, rut best. you are a sweetheart. that kind of thing. it was the equivalent of phone sex over e-mail which would be e-mail sex. he intends to cooperate and is as excited about it as this dog. >> come on, rico. let's go for a walk. do you want to go for a walk? >> we have to stop. >> he

and what happens when we send bill schulz into time square to ask about bill's new book? hopefully they beat him so badly he is covered with contusions and it becomes exter shall beating. >> that's why i wrote the book. i wrote it extra heffy. >> it is a heffy book. >> so when he went out there he would be beaten with it. >> i support that. >> go away. >>> let's welcome our guest. she is so hot she is often mistaken for death valley. i am here with aris-faulkner. saturday and sunday at 7:00 p.m. lease don't kiss the audience. he is so sharp he sleeps on a cutting board. america's future foundation chairman. i think it is a front for child slavery. and in russia, he is considered a test subject. it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if fierce commentary was a thanksgiving turkey he would poison your whole family. sitting next to me, ie, mike baker. >> he is heffy. >> former cia operative and the makers of diligence cat toys. diligence cat hammocks and diligence cat hair nets. for all of your cat toy and cat hammocks and cat hair net needs, think diligence. diligenc

it is a euphemism for bill schulz. and lyndsay lohan was arrested after reportedly punching a woman in the face. thus completing her transformation to this generation's dana plado. >> let's well company our guest. i am here with diane macedo. she anchors "business news with imus in the morning" on the fox business network. and it is sherrod small. say hello to the people. >> what's up, people 1234* happy holidays. christmas. >> bill schulz. he thinks it is 1832 and high is manning a barricade in paris. and next to me charles pain wall street ceo. >> so could our state pens take some friends? prisons on u.s. soil could handle detainees from guantanamo bay as long as they made sig can't -- significant operational changes. as the chairwoman diane dianne feinstein notes it demonstrates that if the political will exists we could finally close guantanamo without impairing our national security. but many issues would have to be considered if terrorists were transferred state side. among them, the physical location of the deta

he was the sound guy who went by the name of scotty, but now goes by bill schulz. and next to him, author and tv personality and america's bad boy, greg gutfeld. since he is letting me fill in, i will mention his book "the joy of hate" on sale. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> it is like a love triangle, but with four sides. if only there were a word for that shape. the petraeus scandal may have sunk another four-star general as the american commander, john allen is being investigated for inappropriate communications with a woman at the center of this mess. allen allegedly exchanged hundreds of flirtatious e-mails with jill kelley who alerted the fbi when she received harassing e-mails from paula broadwell. and don't order yet. there is more. fox confirms the agent she notified and who triggered the investigation was removed from the case because of his behavior which included sending shirtless photos of himself to kelley. "red eye" acquired a taper portedly of the agent. can we see that? >> owe. >> will you quit? >> owe indeed. diane, as the scanda

it is my sidekick, bill schulz. and if fierce commentary was yoga i would do him on a rock at a mountain retreat. sitting next to me is gavin and miles' father. he is looking angry. >> a block, the lede. that's the first story. >> thank you for clarifying. i have been off for awhile. well president obama won re-election. >> yay. >> or did he? >> oh no. >> every news organization has called it except florida, an actual state who is tallying the numbers. with eight million votes the president holds a half a percent over mitt romney. to put that in perspective, that small. and election workers are hustling to count tens of thousands of absentee ballots. said one floridian, we are such an embarassment, it is always a fiasco with us. or they are just thorough. as it happens, "red eye" staffer is from there and works for the miami-dade board of elections. he is one of the many poll workers counting the final ballots. let's go to him live. michael? >> 6,121. 6,122. 6,523. 6,524. >> mike, how is it going there? the votes wi

bill schulz, he can't stop laughing right now and he thinks all taylor swift songs are about him. and next to me is jim norton. his special "please be offended" is now available on netflix. >>> is he making light of their plight? well, peta sent a let torte white house asking our newly elected president end the practice of pardoning a turkey. they prefer he killed them. actually they say it makes light of the mass slaughter of some 46 million gentle inteligent birds. the letter continues, you understand so well that african-american, women, members of the lgbt community have been poorly served throughout history, and now i ask you to consider other living beings who are ridiculed and belittled as if their nature counts for nothing. but obama didn't heed their screed and the white house encouraged people to go to their facebook page and vote for their faff -- favorite fowl. let's go to robert miller at the white house. robert? >> not sure why the president never calls on him. he is clearly a democrat. jim, he about that peta? >> if obama wanted to get rid of the turkey he would get

it is bill schulz. it is. it is the shirt from the brawny guy. >> he is so tough he can kill you with a taco. fyi, taco is what he calls a machete. next to me, u.s. army special forces member terry sapper. >> thank you, graphic. >>> he knew the broad well. on friday cia director david petraeus resigned after admitting to an affair. it was revealed that paula brodwell the fbi stumbled on to her name and was concerned petraeus was a victim or there was a security breech on brodwell's part. but according to news max given the top secret clearance and the fact he was married he monitored . amoung them discussions about sex under a desk which i can do standing up. the fbi agents expected him to resign rather than risk the possibility of being blame mailed not to mention being distracted during the libya mess. he waited until after the election. he also won't be testifying on libya next week. that is certainly convenient says a guy wearing a yellow sweater. let's focus on something else instead. >>> yes, yes, adorab

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz.nd sitting next to me gavin mcguiness, writer for talking mag.com and street carnage. >> what are you doing? >> i have something in my eye, lint. >> let's go to the thing. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> by the way, it has been a rough week for everybody, and there is serious stuff going on. we will try to have a fun, light show. and gavin, you need to be on your best behavior. >> coming up, buddy. >> i don't trust you at all. you are a sad, sick man. i can deem everything -- i condemn everything he does before he does it which puts me in the clear. correct? >> yes. it is a get out of me free card. >> a get out of you card. do i want to get out of you? i don't know. >> come on in. >> it is the new jam for fans of bam and it has more hero worship as they repeat the words. a pride of celebrities as a group is known is releasing a music video for planned planned parenthood. the song is called "yes we plan." i don't get it. it was inspired by the 2008 video by will i am. i

it is bill schulz. and if hilarity was boxing gloves, many sweaty men would put their fists inside of him. sitting next to me, jim norton. "please be offended" is available and i urge you to order it immediately after this show. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> you know what i like about you? you have a special, buts you don't -- but you don't tweet about it. >> social networking is meant to entertain and bond with and not whore myself for money. >> if all of the other comedians would know that. >> like how a tv show is meant for news, but you use it to plug your book. >> good point. homerun derosa. >> let's do the first story, shall we? could you have a beau who supports ho? politically-minded singles would not consider anybody voting for, quote, the other guy, end quote. according to the "wall street journal", being a member of the opposite party trumps religious differences, unattractiveness, low education and your stinking job. explains one match maker, people now say i don't even wa

my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and she is so sharp that cheese serves her at wine parties. that's a stretch. right next to me is columnist and author jedediah be law. bila. >> thanks for clearing that up. should they trouble with her stubble? well, a judge in massachusetts , is there any other kind, has ruled he won't order more hair removal treatments for a transgender inmate. quite attractive, actually. she sued after her electrolysis regimen was stopped claiming the prison sis stomp was stoping her -- sis stomp was stoping her transition from male to female. she grows a full beard in days and the department of correction showed inference to her serious medical needs. in september, the convicted killer won a court order for a taxpayer-funded sex change. the judge called it the only way to treat her gender identity disorder. but now that surgery has been put on hold until the state appeals its ruling. for more let's go live to the chief legal correspondent. that's some pretty stupid legal correspondent. either that or drunk. stupid drunk pig. lori, are you a woman. >> last

and bill schulz is back from testifying about benghazi. and theks to me, joe derosa. >> a block, the lede. that's the first story. >> do the titans of fast-food think it is less than shrewed? a denny's operator has joined the ceo of papa john's promising to put a promising surcharge to offset costs from the health care law. he runs 40 denny's locations and oversees 1200 employees says he plans to slash hours to fewer than 30 a week. he simply can't afford the penalties associated with obama care, he says. telling fox news.com, quote, it is essentially a huge tax on all us business people. and last week after the election, papa john himself reportedly said his employees may face reduced hours, and he expects his business costs to rise because of obama care. for more on the health care law and what it means to employers. let's go to senior cory correspondent, flying dog. cogent point as always, flying dog. joe i go to you first, i don't know why. universal health is one thing, but not if it raises the price of a grand slam. >> i am shocked y

and in november he is considered a snowball, it is bill schulz. and if hilarity was a speed limit i would violate him on a highway. sitting next to me, gavin mcbegin tee. he is writing for talking mag.com. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> i guess i didn't get done with the intros fast enough. if you voted for the one, your shopping days are done. he took out a full page ad telling obama voters to stay away from his shop. cope reynolds, if that is his real name placed the ad in the white mountain independent. it reads, "if you voted for barack obama your business is not welcome at shout west shooting authority. you have broofn -- proven you are not responsible enough to own a firearm. reynolds tells the phoenix times that this is more of a political statement more than anything else saying, quote, of course it is impossible to enforce. if they don't say anything you will never know. but he maintains if they own up to it, we will not serve them. this goes way beyond gun control which many think is why we did this. meanwhile, the door

it is bill schulz. and i met him as a navy fighter pilot in school, you know in our spare time we played volleyball on the beach with our shirts off. we used a lot of sunscreen. sitting next to me is john gibson, the host of the john gibson show weekdays at noon eastern. >> barak and mit have a sit. on thursday the enemies will lunch it out, in their words, at the president's residence with the white house noting, quote, it will be the first opportunity they have had to visit since the election. obama is making good on his word on the night of his alleged victory he said he looked forward to sitting down with governor romney to talk about where we can work together to move this country forward. oh his slogan. alass, no -- uh lass, no press allowed so we won't know how awk the talk really is. speaking of lively one on one's. >> so many questions. first, what do you wear from a luncheon like this? do you wear a tie-sweater combination like me? >> i think mitt romney will go as mitt romney, the guy in the

. >> bill schulz, you said you welcome our robot overlord. do you remember i am thinking of another famous -- i forgot to leave off my list, robot from "lost in space" was my favorite. >> will robinson, but that was not his name. he looked like he could fit two. >> was it robbie? >> no, he was just robot. >> was that his name, robot? >> bill struck me as a dr. smith type. >> that's a great analogy. absolutely. >> goes back to my running and screaming. >> lauren and paul were both talking about -- they seemed to think that women were not as good as controlling robots and space ships and things like that. what about kailey frye ladies and gentlemen? >> the ship's mechanic on "saw wren gnaw tee." she was pretty handy with a wrench in outerspace. >> tough crowd. >> i am too busy ignoring my son and not loving him. look up kailey frye. she is quite a woman. >> is she firm? >> she is firmer than you, paul. two and a half men, ambassador bolten, have you ever seen "woo and a half men." >> no and i have no intention of watching it either. >> maybe i

a special thanks to diane, bill schulz 1k3* michael and greg gutfeld. that does it for me. >> the o'reilly factor is on. tonight. >> well, the president was certainly surprised when he was informed about the situation regarding general petraeus. he. >> bill: the general petraeus sex scandal getting bigger. now the top u.s. commander in afghanistan is also being scrutinized. we will have the very latest in this awful story. >> i know bill o'reilly feels like america has changed and it's no longer in the control of white power. >> bill: so now i'm david duke as the far left media runs wild after the re-election of president obama. we'll have a story that will make you furious. >> this country was founded by latin people. >> obama is reelected. >> yes. >> how exeighted are you. >> i would have left the country if he wasn't. >> jesse watters pays a visit to some far left folks. >> i know i'm talking to the enemy right now. >> don't hate me. >> i don't. >> i thought liberals wanted to embrace the other side. >> i don't think that's true at all. >> bill: we wi

special thanks to imogen, bill schulz, michael and jonathon hunt. that does it for me. see you next time. he is. >> bill: o'reilly factor is on. tonight: >> ♪ the stars at night ♪ are big and bright ♪ deep in the heart of texas ♪ i wish they all could be california girls ♪ >> bill: a tale of two americans. texas and california. which is the better place to live and why? what is the vast difference between the two most populated states about america say? >> does do your parents ask you for money when you go back home? >> yes. >> does that ever work? >> i think it does work. >> you can't give people money and help them. >> tim allen criticizing the obama administration. is that a smart thing to do career-wise? adam corolla will have some thoughts. >> what's nascar all about? >> sunshine, palm trees everywhere. perfect place for a championship. >> watters world goes to the big nascar championship. >> do you guys ever watch bill o'reilly on the fox news channel. >> i thought bill o'reilly was on the food network. >> bill: we have revved up report. >> caution. you where to en

a special thanks to jedediah bila and bill schulz and john gibson. i'm tom shillou. see you next time. tonight: >> that's not america that we should be and it's not who we are. >> sandra fluke and jay-z just two of the people "time" magazine has nominated for person of the year? but why? and wait until you see who else is on the list. >> gangnam style. >> there is a lot to be said for a wealth tax and especially a concrete wealth tax. >> bill: far left beginning to push for wealth tax that means the feds would confiscate private property. this is being kept very quiet but tonight you will hear all about it? >> gay marriage or accepting immigrants. >> you are absolutely right. they don't want to believe it's time to change it. >> rhode island governor chafee saying he will not save christmas because the times are a changing. we sent jesse wawfortsz -- watters up to rhode island to find out what the heck is going on. >> isn't it discriminating against christians by calling it a holiday tree? >> caution. you are about to enter the no spin zone. the factor begins right n