being for the 1st 6 months of his life we were stable and then i lost my job which entailed lost my birman. but for you know for after that 6 months we did pretty well you know we stayed with friends here and there we stayed with family but it sank i kind of started to feel like i was a burden these people you know because then they have to deal with my kid having as little fits and less than the others. you know i got another job and i was paying for hotel rooms you know 2 weeks out of each paycheck and i just got really expensive in the prices are you getting you're just like all right well i'm going to keep doing it i'm going to do it i got to get up i got to work. anyway having a kid a child with special abilities you kind of you don't really get much scouting time expression when you're single parent you don't at all you're constantly on the go on doing this doing that picking up is picking up that is. so you resort to of course a drug that makes you say weak. there is a word that surprisingly i got off it by myself i didn't go to rehab or anything i just kind of kicked it i've been c