. >> dancer, prancer, blitzen, dasher, cupid, donner, rudolph, and...oh, no! >> um...like, snowy...uh... >> dasher, donner, blitzen, vixen, rudolph...comet, cupid... uh... >> rudolph is definitely one. >> prancer...what else? dancer, juan. >> ok, so, there's dancer and prancer and comet and vixen and... rudolph wasn't one, right? >> okay, guys, nice try, but here are the right names -- and did you know the original name of the poem was "a visit from st. nicholas"? it was published in 1823. for "teen kids news," i'm sam. >> why do people sigh? according to new research, it's not because of love or sadness. subjects in an experiment were given an impossible puzzle. when they couldn't solve it, they sighed. so it could be we sigh when we give up. [message beep] the average text takes your eyes off the road for nearly five seconds. [screaming] announcer: bring out... ...the action hero... ...in you. fuel up right. and get energized. be part of the greatest action movie ever. the first movie that puts you in the action. show us how you train and eat like an action

-- charles barkley -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: -- on -- >> -- mucus legs -- >> jimmy: -- and blitzenhow they twinkled. his -- >> -- nipples -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how merry. his cheeks were like -- >> -- squishy -- >> -- birds -- >> jimmy: -- his -- >> -- breasts -- >> jimmy: -- like a cherry. he had a broad face and a -- >> -- stanky -- >> -- hot -- >> jimmy: -- belly that shook when he -- >> -- diddled. >> jimmy: -- like a bowl full of -- >> -- hot sauce. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and laying his -- >> -- weird sucker pads -- >> jimmy: -- aside of his -- >> -- spicy butt -- >> jimmy: -- and giving a -- >> -- squash -- >> jimmy: -- up -- >> -- the ding dong -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: -- he -- >> -- wiped. >> jimmy: but i heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight, "happy -- >> -- christmas -- >> jimmy: -- to -- >> -- all -- >> -- and -- >> jimmy: -- to -- >> -- all -- >> -- a -- >> -- fried penis. [ laughter ] >> okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's genius. [ applause ] thank you to all my friends who helped out on this. patton oswalt, he's a funny dude. >> steve: y