bob barker played host back then and they must've liked the way the name sounded in his pricer rightman who made his living encouraging people to spend a giant wheel and asking them how much they thought random crap was worth without overestimating help determine the proper noun that would identify me for the rest of my life. i imagine the long skinny microphone top with the perfect black ball, no harsh consonants to pop or assist to hit, just janine. his pointy white teeth seizing the last syllable like a cartoon cat catching a mouse by the tail. although my parents, their names are maria Ãwere rooting for her, janine ford, a.k.a. miss arizona, didn't win. the winner of the 1980 miss usa pageant, the person after whom i was supposed to be named was sean weatherly. ms. south carolina. i can almost hear my parents deciding that sean was a boy's name despite evidence to the contrary standing right in front of them wearing a crown. close enough. there was my name, janine. the spanish-language origin got the better of them and they agreed that this spelling was all wrong stop the vowel i