could it be used as a bong? >> um, i don't think so. >> stephen: it would be the only thing in the world that could not then. >> we're developing a sensor to install in a football helmet to detect traumatic brain injury and report? >> stephen: why do we need that? i played football as a kid and i never suffered any brain injury. >> most students don't even know they received a concussion over their playing time. >> stephen: but why do we need this because i played football as a kid and never suffered a brain injury. >> because there's been a significant increase. >> stephen: but why do we need this, i played football as a kid and never suffered a brain injury. why do you enforce the commitment? >> if you don't follow through with the commitment we won't invite you back. >> stephen: my advice for the kids just trying, based on that shoot low so you know you make your commitment. >> i see it differently. even if you don't achieve 100%, if you achieve 20% you made a tangible difference. >> stephen: if you say i com

this kid had a beer bong in his carry on. >> i'm not surprised.it as a storage device. you put your toiletries in there and pack it. funny because she told him to put it down, put it down. he didn't listen, so she smacks it. you're not getting me drunk you young whipper snapper. >> i love that she did it period. she partook in the fun. >>> add lights to a wake board and the results are nothing short of amazing. >> it's like space age wake [ female announcer ] safeway presents real big deals of the week. or how to keep from driving all over for the best deals. you don't need to run around. safeway gives you real big club card deals each week. this week, a crazy low price on tide, $10.99 for 100 ounces. skip the warehouse. quilted northern is $10.99 for 24 double rolls. and dryer's ice cream is just $2.99. real big deals this week and every week. only at safeway. ingredients for life. >>> guys, it's never an easy or fun thing to hold an intervention for a friend. i think we might have to have one for steve in the hoody. he likes to hit the sauce. >>

>> a florida bill that would outlaw the sale of bongs is passing a house subcommittee.er that bill, any retailer that sells the pipes used for smoking marijuana would be charged. >> stephen: sorry, sunshine state stoners. if you want to get high in florida, you'll have to get a prescription like everyone else. [laughter] under house bill 49, it will be a first-degree misdemeanor to sell metal, wooden, acrylic, glass, stone, plastic, or ceramic smoking pipes. [laughter] with or without screens, permanent screens, or punctured metal bowls, water pipes, carburetion tubes and devices. -- chamber pipes, carburetor pipes, electric pipes, air-driven pipes, chillums, bongs, ice pipes or chillers. [laughter] folks, this is a comprehensive list of mellows that have been harshed. [laughter] but i'm disappointed. this bill doesn't even begin to cover the things stoners can use as paraphernalia: apples, soda cans, water bottles, honey bears, aluminum foil, traffic cones, empty ice cream pints. [cheers and applause] stoners are like macguyver. they can turn any household item into a

this kid had a beer bong in his carry on. >> i'm not surprised.a storage device. you put your toiletries in there and pack it. funny because she told him to put it down, put it down. he didn't listen, so she smacks it. you're not getting me drunk you young whipper snapper. >> i love that she did it period. she partook in the fun. >>> add lights to a wake board and the results are nothing short of amazing. >> it's like space age wake >>> guys, it's never an easy or fun thing to hold an intervention for a friend. i think we might have to have one for steve in the hoody. he likes to hit the sauce. >> it's my beer. >> really? >> he likes drinking the beer. he's trying to have a sam adams. he's like dude, let me get some of that. >> he keeps drinking it after the dog licks it. >> he's not just licking the bottle, he's trying to get his paws on the thing. >> you have a drinking problem. >> the first step is admitting you have a problem. steve is like this is mine, get your own. >> gertrude would like beer, too. >> eyes bugged out. >> you have a drinking

is now legal in both colorado and washington and those two states are planning to turn idaho into a bong. la laugh even worse, -- [laughter] now, even worse, people are comparing this pot-tastrope. >> a majority of in favor of legalizing mayor juan why and same-sex marriage. >> it's a generational shift. the evolution of same-sex marriage and same thing with marijuana. >> stephen: i can't help who i am. i was born attracted to watching seven hours of planet earth while eating a sack of croutons. next thing you know stoners will demand the civil right to marry their mary jane. you may now smoke the bride. it's not like the war on drugs isn't working. look at the animated chart. the blue line shows rates of addiction since 1970 and the green line shows how much money we spent on the war on drugs. that might look like the war on drugs is a waste but if you are high it looks like a mountain with a stream running out of it. [cheers and applause] and now politics are cozying up to big spleef like prolegallization colorado congressman who said marijuana outperformed me by ten points so it was a

. >> it could have been a saturday and then he bonged a shotgun. >> i don't know my lingo. >> then heunned a beer. >>> meow. >> look at this surveillance footage from inside the historic discovery center in fresno, california, we got this story from kmph. that, my friends, is a thief breaking into the snake and lizard area of the discovery center in fresno. and in all, he got away with a seven-foot red-tail boa. a couple of pythons and a lizard named zu zu. he goss into the center by blowing a cinder block through one of the windows. he came in and began ripping apart the areas where the reptiles were kept and he gets away with all of them. they did have the surveillance cameras rolling and you get a darn good shot of this guy's face, unfortunately police have not yet found him. they released this video hoping that someone in the fresno area will recognize this guy or maybe he will see himself and have a change of heart and bring these reptiles back. >> this jerk has probably already sold some of these animals online. how tragic for these animals to be ripped out of their environment

maybe that's just my view. >> maybe a half bong hit. this song obviously is problematic.ple were talking about it saying what is going on here? i think part of the problem is, one, it's bad musically. this music is bad. the lyrics are also quite bad. the themes are bad. so it's a total strikeout on almost every single aspect of a song you would judge it by it seems to have failed. brad paisley is a very talented country artist and one of the best ones out there i think, only 40 years old but one of the guys who is really driving new country. l.l. cool j. obviously a terrific star. you have to respect the work he's done on television and some of his past rap work. this is obviously an epic fail and people have attacked it because it doesn't take the subject seriously. it wants to take it too seriously and somehow not seriously enough. if you are going to address the issue of american slavery you have to have new ideas. saying something and this is a paraphrase of what l.l. cool j. says in the song, saying things like if you don't judge me for my gold chains, i'll forget ab

i think the burden is on harry reid-- >> harry reid is this worst whip--this guy couldn't sell a bongnvention. connot rally his caucus in a way that is profoundly--it's horrifying to watch. >> and the local joes of petty coat junction. >> john: harry reid is in a tight race in his state. he has decided not to reform the filibuster because he would rather be a senator in his 80s than doing the right thing. is that, too, hash? >> no, we need one longer term for everyone and no reruns. >> john: we'll be back after the break to pick apart one more crazy theory, the rapture. even if you're a bible fundamentalist, it's crazy balls. see new a second. the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. (vo) she's joy behar. >>current will let me say anything. >> john: welcome back. finally it's time for tonight's f-bomb. the latest ppp poll reveals that 13% of americans including 22% of mitt romney voters believe president obama is the antichrist. but believing obama is the demonic supernatural being is not nothing. some think that because his middle name is hussein. some think he's the antichri

. >> police now say that the top three stories of the bong were add illegally a. least five people are der arrest including two government engines and wife wtvg building owner. however, the owner remains on the run. tonight the death toll stands at 348. >>> in other news of the wod tonight from afghanistan, a nato plane crashed into the southern part of the country, killing four international troops. the crash came on the same day e taliban announced its spring offense. however, nato says essential reportno enemy activity in the area that the plane went down and the taliban did not immediately claim reonsibility for the plane crash. >>> in england about400 protesters held a demonstration against drone missions targeting insurgents in afghanistan. this week the royal air force began operating its drones from an air force base in britain. protesters say the use of drones is unethical because they claim that they carry out illegal assassinations and cause civilian deaths. nato leaders argue that drones save the lives of military personneand civilian nysement us milit

it's the taco you've been looking for. [ bong ] (exclaiming) (school bell ringing) (barney belches) (mrs. simpson. (groans) (laughter) (excited vocalizing) (whirring, children cheering) ooh! this isn't a learn zone. darn it, it's a fun place! yay! (whoops) yay! (laughter) for maximum safety, all children must wear anti-kidnapping bracelets. (laughs) is this a kid you'd pay ransom for? dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail? i don't know. feed it to the dog? you'd have to wrap cheese around it. don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog! (laughter) (snoring) (whooping and laughter) whoa! (screaming) where do they go? whoa! female announcer: welcome to the mormon church, america's most respectable cult. (whooping and laughing) keep an eye on the kids, homer. can i keep an eye on that kid? he's fabulous. bart and lisa. oh! it's always my kids. yay! (laughing) where'd they go? oh. hmm. almost. holy moley. what the...?! oh, it's hopeless! what's hopeless? who the hell are you? (laughter and cheering) dad, come up, come up! pretty, pretty please! absolutely not! my adult fra

bongs for breakfast, my motto. i guess to sum it up, sex, drugs, rock and roll. made enough money just to pay the bills. i was fine. everything was going fine. everyone was happy. >> but in august of 1988, the body of 19-year-old anthony clen, an employee in keenan's landscape business, was found floating in a creek. >> anthony went to his death by having his throat cut twice, i think, and he was stabbed three times in the chest. two up, one across. and apparently there was no blood left in his body. the next morning, cleveland cops break down our door, and that's when i find out we're all being charged with murder. >> prosecutors say keenan and two co-workers kidnapped and killed clan over some missing drugs. after one of the men accepted a plea deal to spare his life, keenan and his other codefendant were found guilty of capital murder. >> we were sentenced to death. the two of us were. so we found ourselves on death row. i was in a daze. i didn't know what to do. >> for the next two decades, keenan fought his conviction through the courts through motions and a

bong rips. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. there you go.nd in the building. swipe and the doors open. for a week i would go in there and i keep expecting security to tackle me. this can't be happening. >> jimmy: it's cnn. i mean, that's major. that's a giant news corporation. >> they made it possible for me to go anywhere i want and continue to make tv pretty much anyway i want. >> jimmy: i want to talk about -- 'cause i know you're a fan of "apocalypse now." you went to the congo. >> "apocalypse now" was based on joseph conrads "heart of darkness." i've long been obsessed with sort of tracking that -- that plot. th sry arc across the map to the heart of africa, the heart of the congo. it's an incredible, tragic and deep story. and you know, that line in "apocalypse now." i wanted a mission and for my sins they gave me one. it was a really difficult shoot, zi, very hairy time. >> jimmy: really. >> you know, it's an example of the show that no other network would have ever let me do. >> jimmy: people probably ask you all the time, what do i

she hits the beer bong, flying to cabo. >> oh, my god. [cheering]. >> that was just the plane ride.e did when she got to mexico. coming upon, how is president obama take the critiques of his new budget? that's next. this day calls you. to fight chronic osteoarthritis pain. to fight chronic low back pain. to take action. to take the next step. today, y will know you did something for your pain. cymbalta can help. cymbalta is a pain reliever fda-approved to manage chronic musculoskeletal pain. one non-narcotic pill a day, every day, can helpeduce this pain. tell your doctor right away if your mood worsens, you have unusual changes in mood or behavior or thoughts of suicide. anti-depressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. cymbalta inot for children under 18. people taking maois, linezolid or thioridazine or with uncontrolled glaucoma should not take cymbalta. taking it with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin, or blood thinners may increase bleeding risk. severe liver problems, some fatal, were reported. signs include abdominal pain and yellowing skin or eyes. tell

grandma hits the beer bong while flying to cabo. >> oh, my god. >> and that was just the plane ride.won't tell what you grandma did when she got to mexico. use the #greta on your tweets and post. coming up, how is president obama taking the critiques of his new budget? jimmy fallon will tell you. that's next. carfirmation. only hertz gives you a carfirmation. hey, this is challenger. i'll be waiting for you in stall 5. it confirms your reservation and the location your car is in, the moment you land. it's just another way you'll be traveling at the speed of hertz. thto fight chronic. osteoarthritis pain. to fight chronic low back pain. to take action. to take the next step. today, y will know you did something for your pain. cymbalta can help. cymbalta is a pain reliever fda-approved to manage chronic musculoskeletal pain. one non-narcotic pill a day, every day, can helpeduce this pain. tell your doctor right away if your mood worsens, you have unusual changes in mood or behavior or thoughts of suicide. anti-depressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. cymbalt

>> bongs? >> bill: yeah. >> what do we call them?at every morning. >> bill: on his desk. makes no bones about it. willie. we love ya. julie mason is here as a "friend of bill" the entire hour. we'll be joined by will dobson from slate later. we've got a lot of ground to cover. we'll get right to it but first dan? big stories of the day. >> other headlines making news on this tuesday. jason collins is credited for his college roommate for motivating him to come out. his stanford roommate, now democratic congressman joe kennedy's participation in the boston gay pride parade last year motivated him to start thinking about coming out. collins wrote he was angry at the time that he couldn't be there in person to support his friend kennedy, but now he couldn't be prouder. >> bill: good for jason collins. most of the reaction yesterday was very, very positive. except the jerk chris broussard from espn. but everybody else -- even came up at the briefing yesterday. and jay carney said everybody at the white house was proud of the fact and adm

announced in february that it conducted third nuclear test, bow to restore its nuclear reactor at jong bongand lasher pakistan despite what appears to be a road mobile intercontinental ballistic missile. we believe pyongyang has over taken initial steps toward healing this is although it remains untested. it also uses a logical to put a satellite in orbit in december destined to is long range missile technology. it is devoted to been a country aggressive rhetoric towards deny states and south korea. north korea has not come hower, fully developed tested or demonstrated the full range of capabilities necessary for a nuclear armedisle. characterizing such capabilities for us in intelligence is a complex and nuanced process requiring sophisticated and highly technical analysis but it is indeed rocket science. we are do with many shades of gray here, not a black and white. i will digress briefly to comment on last years revelati revelation. the state in question was one sentence and a seven page classified report and was mistakenly miss categorized as unclassified. but this revelation is unless

they plan to restart a reactor in yong bong. they disabled that in 2008 under a six party agreement. >>> health officials in eastern china say the h7n9 strain of bird flu is rising. the officials reported five new casesment they say the patients are two men in the city of shanghai and two men and a woman in a neighboring province. the latest patient to die was a man hospitalized in shanghai. officials say they have not confirmed any human to human infection. they detected the virus in chickens in markets. they've banned the sale of live poultry. >>> health officials in japan are on the alert for the h7n9 strain. they're deploying a new tool for people infected. researchers developed a chemical reagent based on information from china. they check its accuracy using the actual virus. health ministry officials plan to distribute the reagent to quarantine stations and offices next week. doctors will examine any one who has a temperature of 30 degrees celsius or higher after arriving from china. they'll use the reagent to check anyone