you're going to have to go some place else to learn the dopest news about boniva.eoperosis is whacko. under the new guidelines, big pharma tweet will now have to include all side effects and warnings printed on the product label. oh, come on! there's no way that pfizer could tell all their followers all the side effects for vooig i i haven just 140 characters. it has nine side effects including permanent damage to the penis, loss of sight, and loss of hearing. that is scary stuff. i for one do not know what i would do if my penis went blind and deaf. ( cheers and applause ). it would have to get a service dog. ( laughter ) well, as always, i am here to help the drug companies. there's a very simple way to treat your drug's complex side effects -- emojis. emojis can cover every possible side effect. for depression, just tweet a frowny face. risk of cardiac arrest, a broken heart. emojis can also tell people to avoid the drug if they're bipolar. or that clinical trials cause blindness in monkies. and most importantly, if there's a risk of gen till purpling. huge side

it was like an all-star boniva commercial. [ laughter ] and barbara was -- she was very fake happy to them. she really was. [ laughter ] best wishes to barbara. and watch her tomorrow on "the view." you know, there's a new development in that mma fight that broke out between solange knowles and jay z in an elevator. they addressed the incident today in a joint statement. they said they were both to blame for the fight, and they've moved on. unfortunately, i haven't. i still want to know what they're fighting about. by the way, the standard hotel in new york announced that they fired the employee who leaked the security camera footage. but don't feel bad for that person because they're rumored to have been paid $250,000 for that video by tmz. so let that be a lesson to every low-wage hotel security guard out there. [ cheers and applause ] i think the lesson is, make sure your phone is charged before you come to work. i don't know how many of you have been following the idaho governor's race. but for those who haven't, i'll catch you up quickly. the two main candidates are state senator