remember -- like i was like the kid in school that -- i saids was very ambitious, straight-a kid, boobyish and had goals and on a war path of accomplish accomplishment and how that relates to the class issues i explore. but i -- so i was the kid that teachers thought, oh, she's going to leave kingman and people might have predicted i was the kid that someone was going to say, she got out. a phrase i take real issue with and i'll talk about that. but when i was in new york it was like, i'm surrounded by kids from the ohio version of me in west virginia and when they got to new york some of them were like -- they became new yorkers and they breathed a sigh of relief, this where is i was meant to be. for me it this opposite. fortified my since of belonging to my home which is never i thought of as a place to escape or leave but the economic realities of the country and in particular my industry required that i leave in some ways to accomplish the things i wanted to do. but i finished grad school and the second i did that i moved back to lawrence, kansas, and i lived here happily as a free lan