you tried to keep it away from brigitte? >> i did. >> were you able to? >> no.eral years later and she got on the internet. it never occurred to me that she would google herself, and i don't know why because it seems a normal thing to do now, but she googled herself and this whole thing came up, and she came in, and i happened to be home at the time and she came in to where i was sitting in the den and she was weeping, and the words out of her mouth were exactly that. mommy, why does the president hate me? and i mean, it broke my heart. it just broke my heart. it's hard to explain to a child, look, this is just tough politics, you know? >> it's not a good enough reason? >> no. it's not a good enough reason. it's affected her. it's affected her throughout adulthood. >> you walked away saying never again. >> how did that work for you? >> i was the last one onboard in '08. in fact, they were dragging my toes in the sand to get me up there. i just on eye certainly wanted john to do it, and i wanted him to not have to look back and say i could have, would have, shoul