now we're doing it. ♪ doing it with my bro doing it with my bro ♪ ♪ i love every second of doing it withit's--it's pretty awesome. - can you believe it? - can you just...? - yo. yo. right there, man. just give me five, man. - [sighs] - give me five, bro. come on, that's [bleep] [bleep]. come on.

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bros before hos! why? because your bros are always there for you. they have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. and you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, [choking up] and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. and then... then suddenly, she's not your ho no mo'. so i only use three? if you're using more than three pieces of tape to wrap a present, you're doing it wrong. okay, and where'd you get all those cool bows? oh, i just get those at any party supply place. okay. are you sure i can't use, like, the cartoons from the newspaper? oh, yeah, your mom would love that.

she said that. >> that breaks the bro code. you can't have sex with the people you're friends with. >> it works for fleetwood mac. those talented whores. but back to romeo. you're a suave guy. she should go out with you. >> i think it would be perfect. >> two star-crossed lovers, just like romeo and juliet only alive and not white and you're both not children. shakespeare, he wrote about kids boning. thanks, chick stealer. >> have a good birthday. >> coming up -- >> we have mason plumlee, a basketball player. >> what happened to your dog? >> i know. i'm so sad about it. >> i think it was disturbing. >> the day you were out sick i was >> mason plumlee is a basketball player, just drafted, going to brooklyn. we go -- >> the owner of your team said that he was going to crush mark cuban in the kickboxing competition. >> prokhorov is the russian guy. >> said he would get mark cuban in the ring, kick his ass. >> what happened to your dog? >> i'm so sad about it. >> what the hell? >> his name was ralph. re

oh, hold on a second, bro. this is the perfect opportunity. hang out in his office and pretend i'm the new guy. uh, i don't think that's gonna work, dude. uh, have you seen "the secret of my success"? uh, they're gonna catch on to you. uh, yeah, but before they do, i will come up with an idea that will save the company millions, and they'll be forced to promote me. uh, are you sure? how does that movie end, dude? uh... i can't remember. oh, yeah, he bangs that old lady, and then they play that song from the '80s. uh, "day bow bow." what the hell is "day bow bow"? ♪ day bow bow ch-ch-ka-ch-ka ♪ oh! ♪ day bow bow oh yeah day bow bow ♪ (humming drumbeat) ♪ ch-ka-ch-ka day bow bow beautiful ♪ ♪ ch-ch-ka-ch-ka day bow bow. ♪ no, mac, seriously... ♪ beautiful. at least give him his mail. (muttering softly) (slurring): the meds are kicking in. (distorted): the meds are kicking in. whoa. dude, what's going on in here? oh, i'm really behind the eight ball, mac. the mail doesn't stop, bud. you're smoking now? uh, yeah, i'm smoking now. you kidding me? m

i'm gonna be a big bro. have a little bro. do bro stuff. all right. i guess i rubbed off on you a little, huh? yeah, a little. well, welcome to the ranks. thanks. "douglas s. heffernan." what's your middle name? steven. huh. what's yours? john. hmm. whoa. they want you to commit to once a week for a year? yeah, at's a normal thing. wow. can't i take this kid out for a test drive? throw him up on the lift, make sure he's not rusty underneath. kiddin', man. i'm kiddin'. you know it's a serious commitment, right? yeah, i know. what, you think i don't know that? well, it's just you gotta follow through with this. i mean, this can't be like when you said you were gonna have washboard abs by christmas. hey, i would've if i hadn't gotten the flu. uh, excuse me, doug. yeah? can i talk to you for a second? sure, carrie. so, i go all those papers notarized, and it's on its way to claybourne's office. great. thank you. is that it? well, uh, yeah. that i heard you when you asked me to do all that stuff. 'cause, you know, airplane phones--wow! connection was fine.

[captioning made possible by warner bros. domestic television distribution] captioned by the national captioning institute ---www.ncicap.org--- i'm a lawyer. ♪ dish nation >>> hey, everybody. welcome to "dish nation". >> we have the hottest gossip from all across the country. >> today all the way out there in seattle! >> and everybody has so much to dish about today. >> especially heidi and frank out in l.a.! >> we've got demi lovato naked and for sale. >> what? >> and we also got begin edge paltrow half naked on bikini body watch. >> don't be funny. james, too, and he is looking fine. >> ladies, just for you, we're going to expose ryan gosling's brand-new abs. >> you get so excited when we talk about him. >> he's an amazing actor. you apparently haven't seen "lars and the real girl". >> amen, you cannot violate man law. >> i said ladies for you. >> but you've got to be cool about the ladies. like you include yourself of with the ladies. >> let me try it again. ladies, for you, ryan gosling has a brand-new app and he'll be ex

with you, bro! i'll lead him away. and i'll get the master key!odeled the suit on the hawksbill turtle. they have two claws on their flippers. check it out. oh yeah... the hawksbill doesn't use them for much, but you can. i'll use them to hook the bungee of the master key. got it! martin, i have the key. meet you at the tortuga! i'll be there bro, just as soon as i get this tiger shark off my back. oh! whew! hey, let's get out of here, bro! yeah, two shark attacks is way too much for one day. hey, check it out! there is such a thing as flying turtles! anybody looking for the master key to the tortuga? jimmy: tortuga online. okay jimmy, let's take her for a test drive! diving. it's working. (cheering) yeah, sea turtle mode is the best. i wonder what shield thinks. uh, that this is the biggest sea turtle he's ever seen. and the new tortuga swim mode is really going to help us explore the oceans of the world. and meet all kinds of new creatures. hey, we've arrived at a habitat that is ideal for the green sea turtle. in the water below is a grass flat

[captioning made possible by warner bros. domestic television distribution]

hey bro! you wanna arm wrestle?

so they're mad at me right now. >> fight anybody, anybody want to, bro. whatever, bro.tever, bro. become increasingly clouded as well. he is charged with four counts of assault with a firearm for allegedly shooting at a car containing another santa rita inmate, byron robinson, robinson's girlfriend, and one of her children. long says he can prove he was out of town at the time but acknowledges past troubles with robinson. >> well, we used to be cool. like my dad, my whole dad's side of the family is from the '70s and they from the '70s too. so like we all grew up around each other. and like we all know each other. our whole family know their whole family. it all escalated over a fight. something that could have been avoided. when we went over there, though, we was going to talk it out, but somebody pulled a gun on all of us. so when they did that, that just -- that sparked everything right there. >> long thought that if robinson's girlfriend did not testify against him, he would have to be released, but it didn't work out that way. >> obviously i'm still here. she came

[♪ flo rida featuring nelly furtado: jump] hey, bro? get used to all this "secret agent" stuff if you're ever looking for a new recruit. hurley, just be quiet and lean right.

[captioning made possible by warner bros.c television distribution] lindsay "extra" -- comes clean. >> are you an addict? >> yeah. >> the drugs, the money she flushed away, the promise she made to oprah. >> do you think you can turn it around? >> yes. >> i truly believe that she believes that she is now ready. >> can she do it? dr. drew analyzes lohan's mea culpa for "extra." >> she understands this is a serious illness and she needs to do something about it. >> plus, oprah reveals her own addiction. lady gaga versus perez hilton. >> this is a crazy story. gaga says he's stalking you. >> now perez and his baby are getting desperate. >> true true-crime mysteries. a suicide atlivia newton-john's, and why this "rizzoli & isles" star took his own life. the new diana murder theory. plus, prince william breaks his silence today about baby george. >> he's a little bit of a rascal, let's put it that way. >> new pics. madonna dressed up as marie antoinette for her 55th birthday. "extra's" g.p.s. tracking the stars around the globe. pl

grab it. >> it gives me the heebie-jeebies, too, bro.> to repair his back, it also required removal of a rib. >> oh, my god. it's like a hole there. i can feel it. it's a hole all the way to my lungs. there's nothing protecting your lung there. oh, my god. it's a hole. a big hole. >> i hate to see my brother in pain. he is really banged up pretty bad. anybody who has any kind of back problem -- i tweaked my back and that can't even be compared to what he's going through. that serenity prayer right there, that's how we live our life. we've got to keep pushing through, you know. i worry about that. he has a past history of having problems with drugs and drinking, but now he has to take them for his pain. that could easily lead to abuse. i'm very worried about that. how's your unemployment working right now? >> real fast, real fast. i'll be under a bridge in two months. >> no way. that's the way it's looking. >> you're going to have to figure something out, try to get a job even if you're banged up like a cat. >> i can't, roy. i'm telling y

. >> take a joke, bro. >> back that thing up judas. >> i knew this was a mistake.ld have cancelled the show the moment we found out you couldn't book any real stars. >> what do you mean? >> people with actual talent. >> double on you. >> let's get out of here before mr. funny man insults us all again. >> i said i'm sorry. >> too late. damage is already done. >> i was hard at work. >> no, you were hardly working. >> get out of my way. >> out of my way? >> i'm insulted. >> why? >> because you stole my line and you didn't even do it right. now out of my way. >> i know i hurt your feelings man. i let you live here and i give you everything because you're my best friend. >> maybe so. i'm out of here. >> wait a minute. hold up. where you going to go? >> i don't know. somewhere where i'm appreciated. >> whoa whoa whoa. he wants to go where they >> hey, danielle. do you have a second? >> did you finally get a date? >> as a matter of fact, i did. carlos is taking me to the dance, not you. sorry, but yeah. >> carlos did not ask you to the dance, he asked me. i'm going with h

. >> hey, bro, did you hear something? >> nope. >> okay, cool. >> calvin, look. i don't think i can do this. >> what you mean? >> i mean you're a big kid. you sleep till noon. you eat cereal all day -- breakfast, lunch, and dinner. who does that? your dad pays your bills. >> so, tracie, what's the problem? >> the problem is you're trifling. look, i've already got kyle in my life. i don't need two little boys. so, if you want to be with me, i need you to step it up and become a man, calvin. >> okay...already. fine. pay you more attention and... start acting my age. >> cousin calvin, come quick. we just got on level 9. >> ooh! i'll be right -- ugh -- here, talking to tracie. >> i know. i know. but, look, can you send a helicopter or something? what? this is a life-or-death emergency! look, if this woman has a baby in front of me, i'm gonna die. hello! ooh, damn! [ grunts ] [ glass shatters ] [ whimpering ] >> sir? please, can you stop calling people? i really need you to just calm down. >> okay. i am calm. i am calm. >> please, just relax, okay? look, look, just ta

come on, bro, we gotta check him out. that's gonna have to be another adventure, bro.r tellurium crystal finding mission! hang on there, bro! wait up, roadrunner! aah! ooh! roadrunner! come on, martin, don't get distracted. we're chasing tellurium, not roadrunners. (gasping) spotted skunk! aww! oh, gila monster! (crying) ♪ jimmy: come on! my controller has nothing to connect with. it can't do anything! humph! (sighing) so, what do you think, koki? well, i think the guys don't have much time to find some tellurium crystals. the core of the tortuga powered by the tellurium crystals will go into an irreversible shutdown in three hours! oh, no! (beeping) calling kratt bros! chris: yeah, aviva, go! you only have-- (static buzzing) pardon? hey, aviva? wait, there's no video! aviva: i know, we have to conserve power. listen up-- you only have three hours. (both gasping) yeah, three hours to get back here with some tellurium. (engine struggling) and if we use any of the tortuga's abilities like the teleporter or the creature power press, each use will cut the core's life and y

have a great night, bro.tional captioning institute ---www.ncicap.org--- are you flo? yes. is this the thing you gave my husband? well, yeah, yes. the "name your price" tool. you tell us the price you want to pay, and we give you a range of options to choose from. careful, though -- that kind of power can go to your head. that explains a lot. yo, buddy! i got this. gimme one, gimme one, gimme one! the power of the "name your price" tool. only from progressive. [captioning made possible by warner bros. domestic television distribution] >> now on "extra" -- simon's first words about his paternity scandal. >> i'm proud to be a dad. >> officially admitting he's a daddy. his new interview about becoming a father and his secret rendezvous with his baby mama. is he getting ready to pop the question, too? america's two hero rescuers speak out on "extra," the plumber and dr. oz helping save a tourist from a taxi crash. >> it was really bad. she wasn't going to make it. >> and the man that saved dick van dyke when his

i feel bad for the bros. >> i will say this. i don't know why you said that. but it does tell you, it's not just about men, but there's a lot of lonely people. you know, you have to be pretty lonely to do this, correct? >> yeah. >> and stupid. >> i would be if i ever did it. >> i'm sorry, without a y chromosome, i just can't get my mind around the whole story. >> what would make them think of it? >> it was smart. those are smart criminals. >> i would like to roll around on platinum cards. no, that one they're going to know. >> next story, he hates butts and he cannot lie. even the newfangled ones. new york city mayor michael bloomberg is now targeting e cigarettes. put e in front of everything and it's supposed to make it more cool. >> it means it's electronic. >> never mind. the administration is working to have electronic smokes lumped in with tobacco republics anticipate eventually banned. said one doctor and supporter of ecigs. you're basically telling a bunch of exsmokers to go back to cigarettes. also as part of proposed legislation, the legal age to buy

i got that [ bleep ], bro. >> youtube, baby. >> you're out on a nature walk. you see this mine shaft. what are you supposed to do if you're at the university of ballerot and victoria. you stick a branch down in there. you see it? >> what is it? >> that is a koala. >> oh, boy. >> he fell down the mine? >> yeah. the first attempt he fell. he starts climbing, and watch what happens. >> yeah. he's coming up. coming up. >> oh, my gosh. >> they don't know how long this little guy has been down there. he could be weak. he could be hungry. he could be many things. he hasn't had water in who knows how long. he's trying to climb up. they're not interfering. you don't want to interfere with wildlife. look at him. >> it breaks my little heart. he was down in a hole. >> he figured it out in no time. they put that branch down there. he's like, all right, here we go. i'm out of here. >> this adventure is not over. >> oh, no. >> are you kidding me? >> he fell back in there. look, here it is in slow motion. >> what was he -- oh. he already was out. now he's -- >> oh, my gosh.

stop tailgating me, bro. >> at this point she's charging at the truck. she does end up hitting the truck with her face. she rams it with her head. >> what? >> she is like, dude, i said no! they are being very polite with it and very patient. but eventually when they tried to -- she gives them the shoulder, quite literally. look. >> oh, my goodness. >> she is so mad at them. >> don't mess with a mama moose. >> that was cool, though. you see how she almost like threw the two calves out of the way. she pushed them out of the way and then charged the truck. >> she really thinks this truck is about to attack her calves. eventually the guys think they are going to gun it and go for it. they start stepping on the gas but she starts charging right next to them. >> she's chasing them? >> look. at this point -- >> what the heck? >> apparently mama moose ended up ramming them four times but they only caught these two in the video. >>> a basejumper is flying down a mountain. >> getting very close to rocks. >> why the rocks were the least of his problems. >> [ bleep

we got ya bro. and i had a low 200 credit score man. liens and loans my car broke down my credit was broken in my car horrible credit got laid off my job had 4 kids child support eating up my pocket 4 baby mamas. but ever since sign & drive, i am getting ready to drive man. where are my car keys man i'm outta here. sign & drive got me a vehicle of my choice regardless of my past credit history. now i can drive all of my kids and all 4 of my baby mamas at the same time. i literally drove the car 45 days for free, and no down payment. so you can't beat that. sign & drive for 45. well we're having a good time. i just flew in. i was out of the country for a little while. i was down in miami. ever been to miami? it's a lot of foreigners out there, ain't it? i'm glad we all having a good time but you guys do know you're out here for a reason. what's going on with you, bro? i ended up marrying a lady that had 5 children. whoa. and i got 5 children too. oh, man. child support like a mug. yea like a mug. i'm hurtin. i do want to let you know ton

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if that funk spreads past the peep level, soon your bros might be unstoked and then what? so... ( applause ) the upshot is daft punk had to choose which show to go on and they chose not mine. (audience booing) >> stephen: that, of course, is a crushing disappointment brought to you by hyundai. now, hey, listen. listen, i'm a proud member of the mtv family of networks so i understand flan cobbler's predicament here. if daft punk were on my show, people wouldn't tune in to see them on the m.v.a.'s almost a month from now. that's how music works. you love a band. you see them once. then never want to see them again. that's why after the beatles went on ed sullivan, they dropped off the face of the err. i think ringo ended up working as a train conductor. ( applause ) listen, i want to be clear. i want to be clear. as a company man, the last thing i want to do was cause any trouble for the video music awards. after all, they're very important to mtv. it's the one night of the year they still show music videos. so instead... [ cheers and applause ] folks, instead i'm going to t

great idea, bro. ♪ chris: he's falling for it. it doesn't know it's a video.laughing) okay, okay. pull it together, bro. yeah, yeah, i know, i know: we're on a creature mission. the coast is clear. so what's zach up to this time? i can't stand how zach uses animals as spare parts. yeah, and no better way to turn the tables than rescuing our lizard friends with gila monster powers! ♪ (hissing) shhh! he's just reacting in his natural way. true, but he's giving us away. quick! activate gila monster powers! ♪ ready for some gila monster combat? oh, yeah. engage bite power. wha?! ♪ ah! grrr! enough! i figured you two would show up and try and mess up my plan, so i have a surprise for you while you're standing right there. buh-bye. uh-oh. whoahh! oh no. this is going to hurt! oof! zach: and just so you can't mess with me further, i'm prepared to go underground! hey, i've got to admit, that's pretty impressive, except that zach should have been paying closer attention to gila monster powers. gila monsters can dig! let's show him how. ♪ i've beaten them this time! my

captioning sponsored by warner bros.ces is not cool. when you vote for flo, we'll have discounts. ice-cream discounts. multi-cookie discounts. pizza loyalty discounts! [ kids chanting "flo!" ] i also have some great ideas on car insurance. [ silence ] finding you discounts since back in the day. call or click today. i like her. you choose two seasonal favorites starting at $10.99. like a blackened sirloin with the wedge salad or lemon shrimp fettuccine and... [ male announcer ] you had us at $10.99. really? fist bump. [ male announcer ] applebee's new take two menu. two seasonal favorites, one amazing plate. see you tomorrow. yeah, i'm married. does it matter? two seasonal favorites, one amazing plate. you'd do that for me? really? yeah, i'd like that. who are you talking to? uh, it's jake from state farm. sounds like a really good deal. jake from state farm at three in the morning. who is this? it's jake from state farm. what are you wearing, jake from state farm? [ jake ] uh... khakis. she sounds hideous. well she's a

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we got ya bro. and i had a low 200 credit score man. liens and loans my car broke down my credit was broken in my car horrible credit got laid off my job had 4 kids child support eating up my pocket 4 baby mamas. but ever since sign & drive, i am getting ready to drive man. where are my car keys man i'm outta here. sign & drive got me a vehicle of my choice regardless of my past credit history. now i can drive all of my kids and all 4 of my baby mamas at the same time. i literally drove the car 45 days for free, and no down payment. so you can't beat that. sign & drive for 45. well we're having a good time. i just flew in. i was out of the country for a little while. i was down in miami. ever been to miami? it's a lot of foreigners out there, ain't it? i'm glad we all having a good time but you guys do know you're out here for a reason. what's going on with you, bro? i ended up marrying a lady that had 5 children. whoa. and i got 5 children too. oh, man. child support like a mug. yea like a mug. i'm hurtin. i do want to let you know ton

we got ya bro. and i had a low 200 credit score man.ienanloans my car broke down my credit was broken in my car horrible credit got laid off my job had 4 kids child support eating up my pocket 4 baby mamas. but ever since sign & drive, i am getting ready to drive man. where are my car keys man i'm outta here. sign & drive got me a vehicle of my choice regardless of my past credit history. now i can drive all of my kids and all 4 of my baby mamas at the same time. i literally drove the car 45 days for free, and no down payment. so you can't beat that. sign & drive for 45. well we're having a good time. i just flew in. i was out of the country for a little while. i was down in miami. ever been to miami? it's a lot of foreigners out there, ain't it? i'm glad we all having a good time but you guys do know you're out here for a reason. what's going on with you, bro? i ended up marrying a lady that had 5 children. whoa. and i got 5 children too. oh, man. child support like a mug. yea like a mug. i'm hurtin. i do want to let you know tonight y

i feel bad for the bros. >> i will say this. i don't know why you said that. but it does tell you, it's not just about men, but there's a lot of lonely people. you know, you have to be pretty lonely to do this, correct? >> yeah. >> and stupid. >> i would be if i ever did it. >> i'm sorry, without a y chromosome, i just can't get my mind around the whole story. >> what would make them think of it? >> it was smart. those are smart criminals. >> i would like to roll around on platinum cards. no, that one they're going to know. >> next story, he hates butts and he cannot lie. even the newfangleones. new york city mayor michael bloomberg is now targeting e cigarettes. put e in front of everything and it's supposed to make it more cool. >> it means it's electronic. >> never mind. the administration is working to have electronic smokes lumped in with tobacco republics anticipate eventually banned. said one doctor and supporter of ecigs. you're basically telling a bunch of exsmokers to go back to cigarettes. also as part of proposed legislation, the legal age to buy t

[captioning made possible by warner bros.omestic television distribution/] >> hey, everyone, welcome to "extra" here at the grove. i'm mario lopez. >> i'm maria menounos. coming up, sharon stone and sophia vergara rolling around in bed together. have i got your attention? >> well, you have mine. first, oprah's new movie opens wide today and the headline should be about the oscar buzz, but -- >> oprah just made 10 new headlines in a majorly honest interview with bravo's andy connie. >> this is what stopped wope in her tracks. >> have you ever taken a dip in the lady pond? >> only minutes into their late-night love fest. >> i'm on the andy cohen show. >> and oprah going there, on their watch what happens live talking booze and her body. >> oh, no, there they are. >> controversy blowing up today. did andy cohen go too far? winfrey visibly upset, as the show turned uncomfortable. >> this is a classic. have you ever been with a lady? >> no, i have not, no. thank you. >> the rumors also the subject of this unauthorized biography. >

over here, bro! your stuff is on point. >> i bet after you spent an afternoon on the street, it was nice to get positive feedback. >> why does no one appreciate him but me. >> why does no one appreciate him but me. >> that's our show. -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com your sleep number setting. it will give you the soundest sleep you've ever had. it's a bed so intuitive it even knows you by name. now it's easier than ever to experience deep, restful sleep with our advanced dualair technology you'll only find in a sleep number bed. at the simple touch of a button, the sleep number mattress adjusts to your ideal level of comfort and support, with exceptional pressure relief on each side. experience the newest innovation from sleep number: the only bed that knows you. and there's only one place in the world you'll find the sleep number bed: at one of our over 400 stores nationwide, where queen mattresses start at just $699. and right now our newest innovations are available with 48-month financing,

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luck in your probably bogus case, hat guy, and be sure to visit glendale, where the motto is, hey, brolike my cologne? thanks, armenia, we love you s! >> actor johan earth leaving the cafe. he is from "resident department evil." >> what comes to your mind when you hear the word twirk? >> i think the first one i ever saw on youtube was the twirk teen. >> whoa! >> damn girl! >> think of a little girl mushroom with grass on it. [laughter] >> thank you. have a good day. >> we got soulja boy. this kid is doing very well. >> you hold more stacks than chie is your boy. >> i hold a lot of bands, man. >> hat, man. e point ofng hundreds. having all that cash. >> i might see something i want to buy and i don't want to have to go to the bank or my car -- you know what i'm saying. . >> what about a credit card? why doesn't he pull out a credit card? >> if he got a credit card, he could get 2% back on that or miles. >> he could get miles because he doesn't have a jet. >> i could fly anywhere in the world at any time, 60,000 miles. >> no, you can't. >> 60,000 miles. any time. >> untrue. >> check it o

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over here, bro!uff is on point. >> i bet after you spent an afternoon on the street, it was nice to get positive feedback. >> why does no one appreciate him but me. >> why does no one appreciate him but me. >> that's our show. captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com - when you smoke, addictive ingredients like nicotine pull you in. every day, over 1200 people die from smoking-related diseases. don't sink deeper into addiction. pull yourself out! >>> hi, everyone. i'm beth troutman. we have great videos and the stories behind them "right this minute." >> two camera angles reveal what forced the driver into on coming traffic. how one bad move lead to a six-car pile up. >> kids are psyched about the parachute jump, but he's coming in a little hot. the countdown to the