from the shame and embarrassment, because i lived in a close-knit community right there in the brookfieldmunity area where it's right off 98th avenue. and it seemed like everybody knew my business. as a young person everybody knew that i wasn't having three meals a day like the young man shared on the video. and everybody knew that my clothes weren't new because of my mother's struggles with alcoholism and drug addiction, in my mind. >> you said dealing drugs gave you a sense of power. how common is that? that getting involved in a gang or doing something like that gives somebody something that they don't feel they can get from another part of their life, including respect i imagine. >> as a young person, the most important thing in the world to me is my reputation. and how my peers perceive me. so if i'm perceived as poor, if i'm perceived as having less than others, i tend not to want to be around. so i skipped the entire seventh grade and was passed to the eighth right there in east oakland. i literally skipped the entire seventh grade was given my report card on the last day of school