please welcome brooks mcbeth, everybody! brooks mcbeth! [applause] >> thank you. thank you.w vote for obama sticker. i didn't really ask for it. [laughter] i just bought a prius. [applause] thank you. i recently worked with another comedian and after every joke he told, he would go i don't care who you are. that's funny right there. i don't care who you are. that's funny right there. whatever he does . i love the fact that he gets to just tell people what to think. i would love to have that power but in real life. like after sex. be like, i don't care who you are, that was the biggest penis you ever seen right there. [laughter] i don't care who you are, you had eight or gasms. i got her done! [laughter] all of my friends are having kids right now, but they are having kids and then giving them names that have way too much pressure for the child. like they go, this is my son, awesomeness! and goliath and destiny and craig ferguson. [laughter] [applause] it's -- it's too much pressure. i went to high school with a girl named joy who was on anti-depressants. [laughter] yeah. i h