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. >>> bye-bye. >> bye-bye. >> the team is currently working to develop new meals. >> they exchange ideasbout what food will prove popular with the children. >> the discussion continues for 30 minutes. two days later, the kitchen staff are experimenting with a new dish, a soup that uses ivy gourd. ivy gourd is often eaten at home by cambodian families. it's available at a low price all year round and is full of iron and vitamins. to make the soup, pieces of fish are stewed together with garlic. the ivy gourd is then added. other children's favorites, including pumpkin and winter melon also go into the pot. the recipe is based on nutritional calculations made by the project leader. >> the work of doctors and staff at the national pediatric hospital of cambodia continues as they strive to raise awareness of a healthier diet for the country's children. ♪ ♪ >>> hello there and welcome to "newsline." it's thursday, september 10th, i'm catherine kobayashi in tokyo. officials with the tokyo stock exchange are allowing two units to go public. they say it could happen later this year. the combined
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now all i have is tears in my eyes cold sale or bye-bye bye. >> there are no bye-bye. all high gross stocks have fallen out of favor. i think this company represents actual value here. so, let's do this. let's be patient and recognize they're out of favor now but they can go right back in favor at the drop of a hat. eddie in north carolina. eddie. >> caller: how are you sir? >> i'm dynamite, how are you. i got cam newton in the fantasy league. >> caller: i'm calling tonight about jack in the box. i don't understand. i've been on it for a long time i've watched it say everything great it can possibly say about itself, the earnings have been fabulous. they have tacos that there a little slice of heaven. i know they did a buy back but i'm curious to know is this a turn around? should i stay in it, get back in it, buy some more of it? >> i've been talking to my colleague and we felt like that put into bottom when they announced the buy back. i don't want to you to sell it. i own jack. >> caller: here on the california coast. >> i am missing california. i was out there last
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. >> bye-bye. bye-bye. ♪ >> i'm so glad to be here. thank you. hello. hi. good to meet you. supposed to be the axis of evil? >> you are right. we are demonized by the media outside. you show black and white. people are demonstrating, and killing and bombing and this and that and you see and this and that, but you never talk about the real people who are actually living peacefully inside the country. you know? and eventually in the future of the world, we and americans have a very special place in this, you cannot play a game without considering iran as a friend. >> one of his passions is ancient persia, culinary history, and he is writing a book. how do you pronounce the specialty here? dizi? >> dizi, it's the name of the pot. >> earthenware. >> this is one of the dishes of humankind. it goes back to mesopotamia. 6,000 years ago. >> potato, chick peas, water, lamb cooked together. add a little fat. mash it up with potatoes and chickpeas. that's good. what do iranians want to eat today? it is a home cooking culture. i mean -- >> yes. we didn't hatch the culture of eating out.
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bye-bye door. [ laughter ] then we'll test your romantic comedy chops by making you bump into the woman of your dreams and in the meet cute crusher. after that, you'll dip your toe into the thriller genre by pretending someone is tailing you in "hell's highway." and finally, you'll do your best to promote a movie you know is just absolutely horrible in our junket room. neil, are you ready? >> neil: i am. yeah, well, i just need a minute to get into character. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> i'm ready. >> seth: go! ♪ and he's off to the devil's desk. his first stop. >> i don't care how many lawyers you have, gail. you'll never tear this family apart! >> seth: well done! [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> look at yourself. and you call yourself an assistant principal. [ laughter ] >> seth: and it's off to the "no." two down, six to go. >> don't you die on me, you son of a bitch! [ light laughter ] tell my wife she was just -- okay. [ light laughter ] no! [ applause ] >> seth: get to the cyber zone! you need to hack into that mainframe, neil. >> i have to get to the firewall and into the mainframe. come on. oh, good, good, good. i'm in. now, to download the nano virus. come on. come on! come on, damnit. 40%. i gotta get this. ♪ check and mate. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: all right! it's time to get up the stairs. fun fact, neil patrick harris is also known as n.p.h. the n stands for neil, the p stands for patrick and the h stands for harris. and here he comes, up to the daddy go byenderstand it now, but listen to me. sex is awesome. [ laughter ] it feels great. seriously. it's so good. [ bell ] >> seth: creepy, but very well acted. meet cute crusher. >> oh. sorry. >> no, it's my fault. i should watch where i'm going. >> no, i was the one running around like a crazy -- fool. [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ kiss me [ laughter ] [ bell ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: to "hell's highway." [ cheers and applause ] give him all your enthusiasm. he's gonna need it, because he is being tailed. >> ah, we've got company. here, take the wheel. [ laughter ] [ gunfire ] ha, sucker! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: all right, everybody. it's off to the junket room. the hardest job in show business. >> so tell us about "connect four: the movie"? >> well, i'm so excited. when i got the script i immediately, i fell in love with it. >> and who do you play in the film? >> i play lead red circle. and i'm trying to, trying to -- i'm trying to connect four with other red circles. and i don't care
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you had scott walker, bye-bye, maybe bye-bye the guy, rand paul, the libertarian. maybe he'll win out of attrition. he'll be the last guy in the race. >> i don't think that donald trump is really the story here. i have to say, i know we've been talking about him, you know obsessively the last few weeks. >> give me another, brother. >> it's not donald trump, really. the real story here is the supposedly strong republican field and the deep bench and all that kind of stuff, cannot content with donald trump. and they're asking to be president of the united states, these people. and they can't deal with donald trump, for god's sake. >> robert costa, i want to hear from you on this. it does seem an uneven field that trump even as he makes clownish moves like making fun of people's faces, which is almost unimaginable in american politics, it's gotten pretty low, but not that low. and making fun of john mccain's war record and stuff, making fun of megyn kelly's questions, it does seem like he does just keep bobbling up, bobbling up to the top of the surface of water. your
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bye bye. . byeye. >> i've been asked to keep my voice down cause we are so close to the isil position >> who is in charge, and are they going to be held to accout? >> but know we're following the research team into the fire >> they're learning how to practice democracy... >> ...just seen tear gas being thrown... >> ...glad sombody care about us man... >> several human workers were kidnapped... >> this is what's left of the hospital >> is a crime that's under reported... >> what do you think... >> we're making history right now... >> al jazeera america >> business man bill browder. >> if my grandfather was the biggest communist in america, i'm gonna go become the biggest capitalist in eastern europe. >> from communist origins to capitalist tycoon. see why he's now set on taking down vladimir putin. >> the russian government remains determined to ruin me in any way they can, including killing me if they can get away with it. >>> dozens of palestinians injured in a third day of clashes with israeli sec
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bye-bye to your favorite macy's star. the retail giant said it would close up to 40 underperforming stores across the nation next year. employees may be offered jobs at nearby locations. no word on the locations that will be closed. but there's more than 20 macy's department stores across the bay area. >>> we don't know which teams will be playing in super bowl 50, but we might be close to finding out who will be performing at halftime. ♪ >> that would be fun. there are reports that the nfl has offered bruno mars the comforted halftime performance slot. this would be his second go around. he performed in 2014. that would be last year. super bowl 50 is in santa clara on february 7th. >> would they do a repeat like that? or are they trying to throw us off? >> we'll find out soon enough. >>> up next, a big night in sports, including the big tennis match. stay with us. ♪ ♪ it took leonardo and miriam years to master the toss. but just a few little steps to master depositing checks with the chase mobile® app. technology designed for you. so you can easily master the way you bank. >>> are you ready for some baseball? >> baseball, football. i'm ready for it all. >> tennis? >> i got it all. i do have it all. you're right. giants 40-year-old hurler, tim hudson, can see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as his career. the baseball's winningest pitcher determined to finish his season with a bang. giants/d-backs. huddy making his first start since july. g-man on top. hudson at the dish. taking matters into his own hands. his first bomb of the season. fourth of his career. he was also solid on the hill. bottom sixth, strikes out goldschmidt. hudson, gave up one earned run. and in the ninth, joe panik, going pull side. solo homer to right, just missing. the giants win, 6-2. so do the dodgers and cubs. a's at the coliseum. billy burns, takes scott kazmir deep. bottom fifth, two on for mark khanna. he says hello. a screamer down the left field line. bye-0, athletics. not the return kazmir had in mind. sonny gray is working in the seventh. gets george springer to ground out. gray, five hits, four strikeouts, no earned runs. a's win, 4-0. >>> a full house at arthur ashe stadium tonight. treated to a festive williams sisters u.s. open quarterfinal match-up, as the serena calendar slam draws closer. serena and venus, squaring off for the 27th time of their careers in grand slam competition. fifth time at flushing meadows. first set, triple set point for serena. venus' return slams into the net. tables turn in the second. venus rolling to a commanding 5-1 lead. serena's backhand comes up short. and set two to big sis, 6-1. deciding set, serena back in control. double-match point, the ace for the win. her 33rd-straight grand slam victory. >>> on the pitch. usa/brazil, in a friendly from foxborough, mass. namar buries the footer. the certain defense can't handle the ball skill officials the barcelona star. usa loses, 4-1. >>> and steph curr
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bye, bye, farewell, to him. i think they'd try to trade him. ernie: this is not the first or last time we see this. >> i'm hearing all kinds of stuff. people call it this is what happens on a dysfunctional team, when the manager loses control. fine. let me remind everyone of another dysfunctional team. june 18th, 1977, the place was fenway park in boston. the star of the team, reggie jackson lollygagged, got back to the dugout, his manager had words for him. that escalated. the coach had to intervene. billy subsequently tried to get after him. guess what happened with that dysfunctional group? i liken that to when a player slams his bat. what happens? if you're winning, they call it playing with fire and intensity. if you're losing, you can't control yourself. that's the way it is. ernie: let's talk about good stuff. the mets done good. night. it was fun to watch. they won again yesterday. now they have a week to go to get themselves ready for the post-season. ernie: they're not going to relax too much? put the pedal to the metal and keep going? russ: they should do that. you don't have to play with the same intensity, but you want to win home field advantage against the dodgers. they'll play the dodgers. you'd rather play at home. they do well at home. mets are off tonight. yankees yankees, they open up tonight against the red sox at yankee stadium. yankees' magic number to clinch the playoff berth is three games. they'll do that. ernie: got a lot to watch. thank you, russ. let me see. you're probably looking forward to friday, right? right? but what if you could look forward to thursday? how do you feel about a four-day workweek? russ: how about two? ernie: how about none? we'll be right back. "hey! you gotta get fios!" well, fios is a 100 percent so you can get 100% out of all your devices. has it with the fastest internet 500 mbps. we're rated number 1 in customer satisfaction. ultimately, that's why. get 50 meg fios internet, tv & phone starting at $79.99 a month. plus get $350 back with a two year agreement. ernie: let's talk about your job. would you like a four-day workweek? >> it would be great. ernie: what would you like? >> more rest, time with family. i work six days a week. almost 70 hours. ernie: you'd welcome four-day week. that would be amazing. >> great. ernie: even a regular five-day workweek. >> even that. right. ernie: you're working too much. chill out. >> too much. new york. >> i do. i love it. i love three-day weekends. ernie: you must really enjoy this. >> i love my job. ernie: one of the lucky ones. a lot of people would like that. >> it would be fantastic. ernie: what would you like? >> three-day weekend. ernie: let's ask these guys. what do you think of a four-day workweek? >> i like it. i'd put in 40 hours and take one off. >> i would take that off. ten-hour days asap. >> i'm a working mom, a wife, a sister. ernie: you have a lot to do. it would be great? >> yes. i'd love it. sign me on. can i get it? i work for a cool company. but they're not that cool. ernie: you think the idea of a four-day workweek is good? >> i don't think so. ernie: stay happy. keep working. >> yes. unemployed. ernie: and you're retired. >> i'm retired. ernie: you can say that. bye-bye. four is a popular number. thank you for joining us. from all of us in studio 5 and our control room, thank you for being a part of our broadcast. have a wonderful night. we'll see you again tomorrow. russ: you're the big cheese. hello! my name is phil zietlow. i work on the cheerios team and it's always bugged me that we couldn't say that, " cheerios are gluten free" . you know, cheerios are made from oats which are naturally gluten-free that contain gluten get mixed so we came up with a way to remove them. cheerios can be enjoyed by everyone! just original cheerios? honey nut cheerios too, buzz. sweet! is anything bugging you (laughs) 130 yards now... bill's got a very tough lie here... looks like we have some sort of sea monster in the water hazard here. i believe that's a "kraken", bruce. it looks like he's going to go with a nine iron. that may not be enough club... well he's definitely going to lose a stroke on this hole. if you're a golf commentator, you whisper. it's what
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bye-bye. part of his 168 yards b, two-trchd performance. 49ers win, 20-3 behind a huge monday night show. >> we saw that all off season. we knew he was going to be a great fit for our offense. what we have noted to do was show it, he runs downhill and hard and he's going to be a heck of a running back for us. >>> giants and reds, in the three, brandon belt hungry for more. taking a trip to triple alley. matt duffy scores. next up, marlon byrd. tobias sampson. belt scores. 4-0 giants. that would be enough. they win it, 5-3. >>> a's and white sox burning the midnight oil and then some in chi town. bottom of the 14th, tied at seven. line drive base hit to right. josh redick's throw online, but late. a's lose, 8-. that's it sportswise. more news come up after the break. raging in lake county. the fire has burned more >>> before we go, we want to update you on the valley fire. we've been talking about it. it's in lake county. the fire has burned 62,000 acres. at this point, only 10% contained. tonight, nearly 600 homes have been destroyed. pg crews are on the groundworking rd to restore power overnight to those homes and businesses that are still standing. about 7,000 customers are in the dark. there are hundreds of people spending the night in an evacuation center wondering whether their homes are still standing. of course, we'll continue to follow this. we'll have the latest for you tomorrow morning on "today n bay." >> you have a look at the conditions around the fire right now? >> yes. we head to tomorrow's forecast. temperatures will stay cool so that will help firefighters, but it's going to be another tough day for us. >> hope to see you tomorrow. byeio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- benicio del toro jessica alba
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and here he comes, up to the daddy go bye-bye door. >> greggy, look at me.f i'm coming back. but before i go, i want to tell you something. it's important. you're too big to understand it now, but listen to me. sex is awesome. [ laughter ] it feels great. seriously. it's so good. [ bell ] >> seth: creepy, but very well acted. meet cute crusher. >> oh. sorry. >> no, it's my fault. i should watch where i'm going. >> no, i was the one running around like a crazy -- fool. [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ kiss me [ laughter ] [ bell ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: to "hell's highway." [ cheers and applause ] give him all your enthusiasm. he's gonna need it, because he is being tailed. >> ah, we've got company. here, take the wheel. [ laughter ] [ gunfire ] ha, sucker! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: all right, everybody. it's off to the junket room. the hardest job in show business. >> so tell us about "connect four: the movie"? >> well, i'm so excited. when i got the script i immediately, i fell in love with it. >> and who do you play in the film? >> i play lead red circle.
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bye-bye, so long, farewell. and then the bottom of the eighth. unloading on murray and he says bye-bye, so long, farewell. that was the final and matt harvey wins his 12th. up at fenway park earlier this afternoon great bird unloving. it was to do one for the yankees. but not for very long. making it three to one for the yankees in stone on second inning, six to one right after brian cook came in to relieve him and carlos beltran goes the opposite way. capping off an eight run inning. also having home runs for the yankees today as they hammered the red sox 13-8 for the final. and that keeps the yankees again and a half back of first. and then on the tennis court at the u.s. open today. serena williams continues to advance and it was far from a walk in the park. her opponent was bleeding before she prevailed to take it. and then she would go on to win and also advancing tonight in three sets over. that is it for sports. steve: this is one of the new fall shows behind with a lot of buzz. dari: fans can't wait for "scream queens." today they got a treat online. >> the first look at the elaborate opening cred
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as we go to break, wendy williams is going on, can you say good bye as we go to break because we have to say good bye to you. >> good bye my guests but i'm seriously standing out right now. >> so nice to have me and we're fans of yours, i'm home, my daughters have been working on this. >> this. >> wendy williams, welcome back to philadelphia, first of all, i always like to see that. that is a good get. sarah does not do too many talk shows, nicely done. >> mike. >> yes. >> are you talking to me. >> yes, it is mike, alex and sue. >> hi, wendy. >> hi, sue, hi alex. how are you doing, philly. >> how are you doing. >> we missed you. >> i'm just catching up with hot topics. >> i miss you all as well. >> key want not wait for hot topics, everyone in the studio has to stop talking because they have to hear the hot topics of the the day they are juicy. >> we have only been on break for like seven weeks but i swear it feels like seven years. i can't wait for monday, monday september 14th, the season seven of the wendy show begins, you know, neil patrick harris coming by and he will be our guest, but don't get used to guests bein
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bye-bye, so long, farewell. evening in them up one of teens to the bottom of the sixth. and daniel murphy unloads saying bye-bye, so long, farewell. and the mets go up two to one. and the mets go up two to one. and uribe says no relief here. adios, amigo. fourteenth of the season making it format to 1. not once but twice, closing the deal, ending at five to one as the final, tanaka is the loser for game number two, going tomorrow afternoon. elsewhere, the blue jays beating the red sox 621. so now the lead by four and a half games with tonight's victory. the magic number drops to eight. and in football, a reminder that the giants play the falcons sunday afternoon at 1:00 p.m. right here on "fox 5 news". be sure to check out our preview show tomorrow at 5:00 o'clock p.m. immediately following the game you want to slip right over to our sister station for the forward to seeing you all there. steve: thank you. how about this jeopardy contestant from new jersey who decided to go for broke. she did not know the answer to the final question as we see right here in. >> this song from a 1999 animated film about cens
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and what did you think of the bye-bye, bye dance and tom bergeron dishes on the new cast of dancing with the stars and meredith pranking interns with the help of one and only regis. it is all starting right now on meredith. ♪ [applause] makes you feel real good. ♪ feel real good. [applause] >> meredith: hi, everyone.
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. >> bye bye. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "thearring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- anne hathaway, anthony anderson, musical guest, a
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bye-bye, la boulange. bye-bye, la boulange. rush for ,,,,,, ♪ ♪ with the new chase freedom mobile app, you can simply redeem, pay, and go. the new chase freedom mobile app. the card is for the essentials. the cash back is for the fun. >>> here's a live look over san jose this morning. skies are mostly clear. we are seeing a little bit of patchy fog out there in some locations but overall a clear start and warming trend beginning today. i will have details on how it's going to get there weekend coming up. >>> 5:43. a police takedown of a teen in stockton is going viral! [ screaming ] >> get the [ censored ] off him! >> police say 16-year-old emilio mayfield was standing in a bus lane tuesday morning refused to move to the sidewalk and an officer stopped him. a bus passenger recorded the video of the struggle that followed. when the officer called for backup, minor officers took him down to the -- nine more officers took him down to the ground. >> i feel traumatized and i felt like i was beaten and slammed on the floor. >> in the
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bye. bye. >> kiss the baby for me. >> i will. >> bye. take care. >> bye, guys. >> i have any facebook.scribed by one word. >> when i came to prison i was a kid. i had to do
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sunshine, but we get the early high temperature, of 78 degrees, and then bob kelly it is a bye bye to the 70s, for awhile. bye. >> put your high platforms away, and let's go, 6:33, on this wednesday morning, live look, at i-95, northbound, bumper to bumper already, as you head up from delaware county in toward the commodore barry bridge. just one of those yucky starts it is a wire wednesday, and an accident already on the pennsylvania turnpike, this is westbound, right near the valley forge interchange. and really we don't have until daylight comes out our way here it is kind of tough to see where the high water is located like dave showed us down thereon lbi. that far right or far left lane, tendency to have the big puddles, high water along route 30 and route ooh, just off the atlantic city expressway in cherry hill downed wires, blocking 07 to kings highway. speed restrictions up and down the new jersey turnpike, they knock it down, to 55, from the normal 65. all because that far potential for hydroplaning, and then, south on 95, just under a half hour. wood half mean downtown, the eastbound schuylkill, ab
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bye. o.k. bye-bye. please, for you. oh, it's beautiful but i... i can't accept this. thank you very much, mrs. wang. vincent's father is very happy about the guitar lessons. vincent: yes! vincent... ( speaking mandarin ) ( continues in mandarin ) vincent: my mother says you're a very good person, and she's happy that you came to our house today. thank you. i'm happy to do something for vincent and alex. it's important to keep friends together. my mom says we can do it! alex: cool, when? starting next tuesday, after the program. alex: great! hey, tell everybody the cards were great. some of them were so cool. alex: i will. i can't wait till tuesday! yeah, me neither. i kind of like it here at grandma's house. how about if we get a new house, just for us? we can't stay here forever, you know? mom says she's going to get a house with a pool. is it hard living in two places-- every other weekend with your mom, the rest of the time with me? sometimes it's hard. sometimes i like it. i know what you mean. dad? do you like ms. casey? everybody likes ms. casey. why do you ask?
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bye-bye this round. fourth seed caroline wozniacki fell behind and 4-1 in second set. rallied to win the set but she lost that set in the end. so bye u.s.'s wozniacki. >>> college football time. for michigan fans had something extra, jim harbaugh, former michigan quarterback returned to the alma mater eight months ago after leaving nfl san francisco 49ers. new coach, same result. utah spoiled harbaugh's much-hyped coaching debut, beating the wolverines 24-17 right? they hope to bring him back have a great go of it. >> not the case. all right. we got cool video for you because drones are everywhere these days. during u.s. open match yesterday, a drone buzzed over the court and then it actually crashed into an empty, fortunately, an empty section of seats. u.s. tennis association spokesman says no one was hurt. the police, new york police are investigating what happened. pin net at that of italy was in middle of her match when the drone buzzed in. she said she thought it was a bomb. obviously see how scared she was. she won the match. police are looking at the contraption. what you do do when something like that happens? we were talk
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bye. >> bye. >> someone in there? williston with no job and nowhere to live. >> hi. >> and that left her with only one choice. >> how are you? >> so cumulatively, how long did you live in the van? a month? >> four months. >> four months! >> four months. >> wow. >> this parking lot for big rigs was helen's first home. >> this is my van. it makes into a really nice bed, and i had shelving inside there. i had it set up like a bedroom. >> couldn't you have found a place? >> rent is really expensive. i just wanted to really save as much money as i could. get myself jump-started on my plan to financially put myself in a better situation. >> seven years ago, helen and her husband had a successful real estate investment business. she thought she'd saved up enough to semi- retire and help pay for her youngest daughter's college education. >> i lived in a house that was worth probably 1.5 million. i bought this beautiful house on the lake. i was living life really, really above average. and then i ended up getting separated. an
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bye-bye. four more days and i wake up and i'll be home. and i'm going home to my mother's. i'm going to parole over there. everybody's happy. i'm just really scared. >>> still ahead, happy is what they call short to the door. but he's not a freeman yet. >> you never know what's going to happen. >> plus, the threat of a possible gang attack wears on pnm staff. >> it's taking its toll. heavily. >> and federico files for an out of state transfer. >> it's irrelevant. it's irrelevant. >>> because of my charges, i'm housed in level vi. they said i beat a guy to death with three other people in the county jail. somebody stomped on his head, he died of a torn liver, torn kidneys, broken rib, broken skull, hematoma, brain dead and died. they charged four of us. they charged me with the death penalty. they take me to court for two and a half years to fight them. i finally get the death penalty thrown out, then they hit me with first-degree murder. they offered me a plea bargain for aggravated battery and i said okay. >> like many validated, affiliated, or even suspected gang members, daniel's only way out of level vi is an out-of-state transfer. the problem is, his request be has been denied before. >> okay, daniel. what exactly is it that you need from me today? what do you need to know? >> need to do the whole transfer process. >> transfer where? >> out of state. i was just told your out of state was denies, however -- however, just let me finish -- i don't have a denial in here. >> i have a denial. >> so what i can do -- you have and it i don't have it? >> when i got here, you guys said lock me down, under investigation. >> okay. >> i stayed under that investigation for three and a half years. may 18th of last year, i beat the death penalty. when i beat the death penalty they want, we can't let you out until after the conclusion of your trial. >> right. >> when i got sentenced for aggravated battery, i took a deal for aggravated battery. when i came back the guy told me the only way i can go out of state is by level vi inmate. i was no longer under investigation. he had to write something up. what he does, change me from investigation to security for the murder of an inmate. that's not what i'm here for. >> okay. and you're right. so we're going to do a special hearing -- well, i don't care about that guy. what i'm going to do is another special hearing. i'm going to do another one of these forms. instead of putting initial, i'm going to make that special, and make that correction. that you weren't convicted, that you plea bargained down to aggravated battery. however, you will still meet the criteria for level vi. >> how long do i have to stay in lockdown for aggravated battery? it's been four years, four years and two days i've been in segregation for aggravated battery. i seen guys come here for stabbing and stay for a year. >> i -- >> this has nothing to do with it and i understand that. what i'm trying to tell you is this, the constitution officer will take relevant information from the court or district attorney. never did it. there's no mention in there. nothing about it. all he says is consider him to go out of state. cbc writes back and says, no, he's a threat to security for the murder of an inmate, he's not going out of state. >> that's not why you didn't go out of state. >> it's exactly what it says. i'm a threat to security, right? >> that's why you're -- >> that's why i'm denied. >> that's why my out of state was denies. it says right there. in his own words. out of state transfer denied. inmate is a threat to security. >> okay. so, we don't need to argue about that. what i'm going to do is a special review for you, just like i said. and i'm going to change that wording. >> you guys have to do -- >> listen to me. you've got to listen. >> so i can appeal it, then. >> listen to me. this is a committee. this is a committee. >> give me my sheet so i can appeal it. >> i haven't done it. i just finished telling you i have to type it up. correct? >> that's not the way -- >> yes, it is. >> that's not the way committee's done. can i show you how committee's done, on your own policy? >> no. listen to me. >> [ bleep ]. >> listen to me, daniel. once i get all the stuff done, i'll send up a hearing notice for you to sign. within 48 hours of that hearing notice, that's how's done. >> can i show you something else? >> no, i don't need to hear anything else. >> according to your policy you're supposed to bring me here to committee. >> you're correct. >> no. i'll show you duane gallegos. >> it's irrelevant. now, i'm doing it all over again. you can complain about the way i do it later. but right now i'm explaining to you how we're going to do it. i'm going to bring you back for -- i don't care -- >> what's your policy say about the meetings? >> i don't care -- are you going to listen? >> you're asked to be here, a case worker, a security representative, and a psychologist. >> yes, you're right. >> this ain't a committee. >> this isn't a committee, this is a meeting. no, it's not, i said i'm going to set you up for a committee. >> i don't want to come here. >>> daniel, you need to be quiet and listen to me. so that way you can hear what i'm saying. listen, listen. don't say another word. so you are going to go to committee. however, before you go to committee, i have to write up the stuff, right? i have to write up the hearing notice, because you get a hearing notice. within 48 hours of that hearing notice, you will come to committee. when that committee happens, everybody will be here. okay? this isn't a committee. this is just a meeting trying to figure out what you're trying to tell me at your door -- >> what's that have to do? i don't care -- >> take him back. he's too argumentative, he's not listening to me. >> you don't do your job -- >> have a good day. bye-bye. have a good day. go ahead and take him. have a good day. have a good day. >> listen to me. [ bleep ]. >> so, it's going to be another long process. so next week i'll probably have it all squared away. they can deny his out of state, if they want to, again. but based on proper information versus worded wrong information. >> daniel may feel like he's never leaving level vi. but next we talk to the one inmate at pnm whose only way out may be through death. >> i'm not afraid to die. i'm not afraid to be dead. i've made my peace with god. i've made my peace with this world. >> and stiu finds hard evidence that gang violence at pnm is far from over. >> that could take somebody's life in an instant. >>> many level vi inmates won't get out of the supermax facility until they're released on parole. but for another group, there's only one way out. >> this is unit 4. this is where lethal injection is administered to inmates that have been sentenced to death. since 1912 when the state of mex
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stay on green lights. ♪ >> bye, angels from heaven. >> bye, mommy. >>> coming up -- >> calm down. >>hen pets go to jail. >> i bond more with the dogs here than the girls on the yard. >>> the maricopa county jail's tent city is not limited only to men. there's a separate area for women known as pup tents. >> work it, ladies. >> while the inmates here are usually more concerned with blazing phoenix heat, today, some of them are business shoring up their tent for a rare thunderstorm. >> it's got to go this way, so you tie it to that. >> you're going to get in trouble. >> you're going to die. >> there you go. yea. now tie it. >> tie it to what? >> tie the string to the rope so we it tie it there. >> tie it to this. there. >> 18-year-old shalindria black is serving time for a robbery charge that she says was motivated by her addiction to meth. >> i was into meth since i was 12. >> they're in trouble. >> what were you thinking? >> tieing that so the rain doesn't get in. >> you could have gotten hurt. you could have gotten hurt really bad. if there's a problem with the tent, you let us know
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bye. >> where are you going? >> i'm going to the bus. >> okay, take amina with you. >> wait, wait. >> bye, daddy! >> bye amina! >> bye, dad. >> bye. y. >> he always carried his camera everywhere. >> yaser was videoing them to see who they was talking to and to make surthey get on the bus. when they were at school, he would be taping them to see what they were doing. all the way till they got to the house he was videoing them. >> he was the consummate stalker so that he can confront them at some point and say don't do anything that i don't tell you you can do. >> yaser did try to control those girls, and he did to the best of his ability. mainly to make sure they wasn't seeing other boys. >> yaser did tell them, y'all are muslim girls, you have to marry muslim guys. >> it's on, i can tell. >> no it's not. >> yeah. >> black hair baby. >> right. can you please turn that off? will you turn it off so i can talk to you. let me tape you. >> hmm? >> let me tape you. >> hm-mm. coffee, coffee. [ laughter ] >> are you going to kill somebody? >> he put a recorder in amina's car. he would check them for mileage. that was just the way that he co
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bye bye. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- anne hathaway, anthony anderson, musical guest, a great big world and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 334, montgomery! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a hot crowd. that's a hot crowd right there, hey. oh! [ cheers and applause ] i feel the love! hey, i feel the love. welcome. welcome, everyone, to "the tonight show." thank you so much for that. wow, you're here. [ cheers and applause ] this is it. looking good. looking great. here's what people are talking about. of course, the big story is that pope francis arrived in washington, d.c. today. i saw that president obama actually picked him up at the airport. [ light laughter ] when asked how the pope will get back to the airport, obama was like, "uber." [ laughter and applause ] "i don't know. it's not my problem." that's right, president obama picked up pope francis at the airport. because what better way to alleviate the traffic the pope is about to cause than sending out a presidential motorcade. [ laughter ] it you wanted to make it home for dinner, you should have left a month ago. no. the trip to washington, d.c. has actually been very educational for the pope. you know, because he's only ever read about purgatory. [ light laughter ] i saw that top congressional leaders sent a statement to the house and senate with guidelines for pope francis's visit, including a request to not shake his hand. apparently they're worried that if politicians touch the pope they'll burst into flames. [ laughter and applause ] in addition to the no shaking hands, congress was given a lot of rules about the pope's visit. check out some of these other ones here -- first there's the, "don't fake sneeze just to get an easy blessing out of the pope." [ laughter ] achoo. [ applause ] so nice, thoughtful. don't say, "pope, there he is," when he walks in the room. [ laughter ] he doesn't like that. that's disrespectful. he doesn't enjoy it. pope, there it is! pope, there it is! ♪ pope, there it is! pope, there it is! ♪ no, can't do that. no, he doesn't enjoy that. don't do that. >> steve: don't do it. >> jimmy: they're asking please don't do that. >> steve: he's heard it. >> jimmy: finally, there's, don't ask him if he ever freezes holy water and gives them out as pope-sicles. [ laughter ] that's not a joke. he doesn't do that. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: of course, with the pope in america and the presidential race going on, i think we really need to talk about the big story in america. >> the most new york thing you'll ever see. cell phone footage capturing a a rat scrounging up a slice of pizza. [ light laughter ] this little guy just wanted to take some dinner on the go. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: it's nice to see even the rats are cleaning up in time for the pope's visit. [ light laughter ] isn't that nice? the rats are chipping in. crazy thing is that video was actually taken by another rat. [ laughter ] "hey, tony. see if you can lift that pizza. i gotta post this on youtube." [ laughter ] guys, i found this out yesterday hillary clinton visited new orleans to speak about the health care system. it was pretty embarrassing when someone threw beads at her and yelled, "woo-hoo! show us your emails!" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: rude. >> jimmy: i don't have to show you my emails. >> steve: it's rude. >> jimmy: i saw that 128 celebrities posted a letter to bernie sanders's campaign website giving him their endorsement. 128 celebrities. and you can tell by the list that many of these endorsements are because bernie is pro-weed. take a look here. you have cheech and chong. [ light laughter ] you have cap'n crunch, and you have jeb bush. [ laughter and applause ] not a surprise. i guess he's -- i don't know, he's into -- some tv news here. i saw that "the jerry springer show" returned to the air this week and celebrated its 25th season. wow. that's a long time. in fact, it's been on so long guests were like, "you know what? i feel like y'all do know me." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "y'all do know me. at one point, y'all didn't know me. but at this point, y'all do know me." [ light laughter ] last night, we had a big hit here on nbc. did you see this thing? it was fantastic. >> steve: oh, fantastic. >> jimmy: the premiere of "blindspot." this is about a woman who wakes up with a bunch of tattoos she can't remember getting. yeah. or, as that's also called, "how everyone gets a tattoo." [ laughter ] "i want heathcliff sitting in a a martini glass." [ light laughter ] "why?" "i don't know. and then a chinese proverb." [ laughter ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: "you speak any -- i don't know if he speaks any --" that's right, the new drama series "blindspot" premiered last night. it opened on a scene where a a woman wakes up completely naked in times square. yeah. then someone handed her an elmo costume and said, "this is how we all get started." [ laughter and applause ] it turns out okay. we have a great show, you guys. give it up for the roots, right there. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, we've got a big show. a funny new premier of a sketch tonight. big week of shows coming up. james spader and joseph gordon-levitt will be here this week. [ cheers and applause ] joseph and i have something special planned thursday night. maybe something a little musical. be sure to turn in for that. plus performances from one of my favorite comedians. brian regan will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and walk the moon will be here. that's a good week. but first, joining us tonight, she stars opposite robert de niro in a big new movie called "the intern." it opens this weekend. anne hathaway is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah! she's lovely. >> jimmy: oh, i love her. she's great. plus, oh, we love this guy. from the hit comedy "black-ish", emmy-nominated anthony anderson is on the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's a funny human being. >> steve: great dude. >> jimmy: and we have great music from a great big world. [ cheers and applause ] here they are tonight. they sound good. guys, i can't wait. tomorrow night is the season premier of "empire." [ cheers ] yeah. it's so good. it's so good. we can't get enough of it here at the show. which is an interesting coincidence, because it turns out that our "tonight show" offices are actually a lot like the world of "empire." a lot of power struggles. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: a lot of secrets. a lot of drama. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: it's probably hard to believe, because of how normal and peaceful everything seems right now here. but let me show you what i mean. check out our latest "tonight show" digital original. this is "jim-pire." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i've been tellin' jokes since i was 9 years old in brooklyn. [ laughter ] it was these jokes, these funnies, these ha-has that kept me warm at night growing up in the streets. >> where did the cantaloupe go for vacation? john cougar's mellencamp. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was jokes like these that made me the man i am today. juicy jim, head of "the tonight show" jim-pire. now, i might not be around forever, what with my finger being in the condition it is. [ laughter ] who knows what could happen tomorrow? i could stub my toe. i could bite my tongue. i could burn the roof of my mouth eating a hot microwave pizza. [ laughter ] the point is, i need to entrust my legacy to someone. will it be questlove, "the tonight show" band leader? [ cheers ] long as you can keep your little secret. or will it be the emcee of the roots, tariq? >> tariq: ah, yo, what's up? yeah, yeah, yeah. drop drip dribbity-drip-drip drop droop. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: or will it be my business-savvy yet moody show producer, andre? >> i'm here for you, juicy. i won't let you down. >> jimmy: i hope you don't, andre. >> what the [ bleep ] did you just say to me? i'm better than all these bitches. [ bleep ] you! >> jimmy: andre, calm down. >> you're right. my bad. >> jimmy: now, my decision will be made -- >> steve: now, i know you ain't forgetting about me up in here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: higgie, i thought you were on hiatus. >> steve: well, i'm out. going to get my ass back to side kickin'. now what's this trash i hear about you handin' over "the tonight show"? >> jimmy: higgie, i need to groom my heir, the person who will take over the show in case something happens. >> steve: oh, you talkin' 'bout your little boo-boo kitty? well, what about me? i'm the first voice you hear before you come out of that curtain every night. >> tariq: yeah, and your voice cracks half the time. [ laughter ] >> steve: what did you say? bitch! >> jimmy: higgie, higgie, stop. stop. [ applause ] >> steve: i'm good. >> jimmy: hey, you're the sidekick and that's the way it's gonna stay. now quest, tariq, let's get to work. ♪ ♪ that's what i'm talking 'bout ♪ >> jimmy: all right. i need to see which one of you has what it takes to tell jokes on the show. quest, let me see what you got. [ drum solo ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. tariq, give me some candy. >> tariq: my man chris christie threw his hat into the ring. he wants to be president, 'cause i guess that's his thing. yeah, 2016 is his holy grail. it's also what he sees when he looks at the bathroom scale. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: that's good. it's good, but it's missing something. >> steve: damn right, missing something. >> jimmy: higgie, what you doing? it's a private meeting. >> steve: here's the problem. you're trying to pit these two against each other when they should be working together. quest, lay down a beat. tariq, take it from the top. >> tariq: drip dribbity drip drip drip. dribbity drip drop. ♪ my man chris christie threw his hat into the ring he wants to be president i guess that's his thing ♪ ♪ yeah, 2016 is his holy grail it's also what he sees when he looks at ♪ ♪ the bathroom scale damn. [ cheers ] >> steve: ha-ha-ha, now that's some higgie pudding! that's exactly why i deserve 50% of this show. questlove saved that joke. >> jimmy: he might have saved the joke, but what about his little secret? ♪ >> steve: oh, what's the matter, juicy? you afraid to get jiggy with the higgie? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: higgie, you're being an ass. >> steve: oh, oh, i'm not an ass. this is an ass. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey, terrance. >> hey, jim. [ cheers and applause ] how you doing? >> jimmy: great. >> good, good, good. look, i want to talk to you about something serious. i know y'all do these parodies on your show. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. >> well, no, thank you. no. don't do one of "empire." >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] no. we wouldn't. yeah. >> you sure? >> jimmy: i wouldn't. do -- that. [ laughter ] >> why you talkin' funny? i [ bleep ] [ bleep ] up for [ bleep ] with me, man. >> jimmy: i'll -- i'll remember that. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] hey, stay tuned for part two of "jim-pire" with some more very special guests right after the break. you don't want to miss it. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ding, ding] hey buddy... what can i getcha? 1, 2, 3... redd's apple ale. [ding, ding] redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple. anybody else? ♪ more, more, more, more, more ♪ billy, you're a genius. thank you. yes, now qualified bank of america customers can get more, more, more with our preferred rewards program. more rewards they'll actually use. actually, they get more, more, more, more, more, more, more. [ laughs ] could you try that? no. oh. the preferred rewards program from bank of america. get rewards you'll actually use. ♪ ♪ ♪ it was just an ordinary night. until he showed up-with a hungry look in his eyes. and then, he made the shot. and when jaws dropped ... he had something for that, too. the new spicy nacho chicken sandwich. with two tacos, halfsies, and a drink for 6 bucks. all in a munchie meal. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. everybody, welcome back. welcome back. quest, give me a beat. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] all right, good. now -- [ laughter ] -- for the conclusion of our empire parody, here's part two of "jim-pire," i hope you like it. ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody! welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] here's what people are talking about. you know what? normally, i would come out here and tell jokes myself, but i want to try something special tonight. quest, tariq, i want you to do a monologue. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ is his hair a comb-over or a comb-under ♪ ♪will his money work wonders for his poll numbers ♪ ♪ he says the campaign's gonna be 'huge' ♪ ♪ now like it or not trump is looking like a front-runner ♪ ♪ this is what business is those apprentices been fired ♪ ♪ but competition strikes back like the empire ♪ ♪ my man chris christie threw his hat into the ring he wants to be president ♪ ♪ 'cause i guess that's his thing yeah 2016 is his holy grail ♪ ♪ it's also what he sees when he looks at the bathroom scale ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> questlove: i have something i want to say. i've got a secret that i've been keeping inside for a long, long time. >> jimmy: quest, don't do this. >> i have to. i can't hide it any longer. i'm -- ♪ bald. [ audience gasps ] >> hey, that's my thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was one hell of a show that you put on tonight. now, i've gathered you all here to give you my decision. andre, tariq, quest. [ laughter ] despite your efforts tonight, i can't pass the show on to any of you. >> then [ bleep ] your mama. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: excuse me? >> i'm sorry it didn't work out and i appreciate the opportunity. >> jimmy: higgy, i was originally planning on giving you the show, but i had a a change of heart. there's someone else. >> steve: what do you mean, there's someone else, bitch? >> who you calling a bitch, bitch? [ cheers and applause ] i should call you little debbie because you are one fake-ass cookie. [ laughter ] >> steve: give me one good reason why i don't throw this drink in your face? >> enough of this. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] so you wanna be cookie, huh? [ laughter ] take these cookies. [ laughter ] hey, i'm good! it's all good. i'm all right now. >> jimmy: no, no, no! it's neither of you. i decided that my legacy can only be entrusted for one person. ladies and gentlemen, i give you the true heir to, "the tonight show" on nbc. >> i'm back, boo-boo kitty. i'm back. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much everybody, that was "jim-pire." my thanks to terrence howard, we love you, terrence howard. taraji p. henson, and donald trump for helping us out with that. to watch it again, visit our youtube page. at youtube.com/fallontonight. stick around, we'll be right back with anne hathaway. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] across america, people... ...are taking charge of their type 2 diabetes... ...with non-insulin victoza®. for a while, i took a pill to lower my blood sugar. but it didn't get me to my goal. so i asked my doctor about victoza®. he said victoza® works differently than pills. and comes in a pen. victoza® is proven to lower blood sugar and a1c. it's taken once a day, any time. victoza® is not for weight loss, but it may help you lose some weight. victoza® is an injectable prescription medicine that may improve blood sugar in adults... ...with type 2 diabetes when used with diet and exercise. it is not recommended as the first medication to treat diabetes and should not be used in people... ...with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. victoza® has... ...not been studied with mealtime insulin. victoza® is not insulin. do not take victoza® if you have a personal or family history of medullary thyroid cancer... multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if you are allergic to victoza®... ...or any of its ingredients. symptoms of a serious allergic reaction may include itching... ...rash, or difficulty breathing. tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. serious side effects may happen in people who take victoza®, including... ...inflammation of the pancreas (pancreatitis). stop taking victoza® and call your doctor right away... ... if you have signs of pancreatitis, such as severe pain that will not go away... ...in your abdomen or from your abdomen to your back, with or without vomiting. tell your doctor about all the medicines you take and if you have any medical conditions. taking victoza® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. the most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting. side effects can lead to dehydration, which may cause kidney problems. if your pill isn't giving you the control you need... ...ask your doctor about... ...non-insulin victoza®. it's covered by most health plans. we're changing. (in a french accent) old navy. old navy. (speaking in french gibberish) distressed? all jeans are on sale for $15. (in her own american accent) i'm going to put you guys in charge for like 20 minutes while i pop out to old navy. okay, you cool with that? (in her french accent, again) i'll be right back! allon zi! without the internet i would probably be like a c student. internet essentials from comcast has brought low-cost high speed internet into the homes of hundreds of thousands of low-income families. it lets students do homework and study at home. so far more than two million people across america have benefitted. internet essentials is going to transform the lives of families. i see myself as maybe an entrepreneur. internet essentials from comcast. helping to bridge the digital divide. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening is an emmy, golden globe, and academy award winning actor who stars opposite robert de niro in the big new movie called "the intern" which is in theaters this friday. please welcome back to the show a talented, hard-working lady. here is anne hathaway! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: whoop there it is! hi. >> hi, honey. >> jimmy: so nice to see you. thank you so much for coming back to the show. we love having you on here. i've got to say, i know you're a big fan of football. this is the football season. >> yeah. >> jimmy: congrats. how's the giant's doing this season? [ light laughter ] >> we're doin' fine. you know what? you know what? this season reminds me of? >> jimmy: yeah, what's that? >> this season reminds me of the 2007 season when we started 0-2 and wound up with the ring. [ cheers ] it is on you, eli. on you. take it home, buddy. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> we're just adding a little drama to the season. >> jimmy: yeah! it's fun, it's fun. hey, the jets are -- >> i don't wanna start 2-0 like the jets, gosh. that's obvious. >> jimmy: 2-0, it's kind of awesome. no big deal, yeah. >> that's fine. >> jimmy: "freak friday" that's fantastic. >> they actually are my defense in fantasy squad so i do want the jets to do well. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. so interesting, fantasy, because you just starting rootin' for people you never really -- >> never, ever. >> jimmy: are you really like addicted to it? are you watching all the games? >> yeah. >> jimmy: like did you watch the game sunday night? it was up against the emmys and i was like -- >> i was going back and forth. >> jimmy: yeah, you flip back and forth. >> no disrespect to tv, but it was a late game. and also, aaron rodgers is my quarterback in fantasy. so, i needed to know. >> jimmy: no, you gotta have the whole score. right now -- >> there was a really timid aaron rodgers fan in the audience. someone was like, aaron, never mind. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like him. right? doesn't everybody? >> he's okay. >> jimmy: yeah, they were undecided about that. saving it for the weekend. i -- i gotta say i loved the movie. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i loved "the intern." it's fantastic. i just love -- i like movies like that. great actors in it. you opposite -- star opposite robert de niro, who was here last week and he said he's the president of the anne hathaway admiration society. you can just quit -- >> that's awesome. that's just so cool. >> jimmy: i was president. i mean he -- there's two presidents. >> you're being too nice. chill out. >> jimmy: no, we love you. what are you talking about? but now you quit acting if robert de niro says that about you. come on. >> oh, my gosh. like, honestly, that kind of takes my -- like, it makes me not be able to talk, like, breathe. >> jimmy: 'cause it's robert de niro. >> and he's so sweet himself. and i loved getting to work with him. it was hard at first because i was making it hard, 'cause i was scared of him, but you would be too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: intimidated by him? >> yeah, and it's nothing he's doing. it's just you project so much on to him. 'cause he's just the best. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then after like two weeks, i was like, this is not helping anyone. and so i just chilled out and we wound up really getting along. >> jimmy: well, he's the best guy. i mean, i -- the movie basically, you're the ceo of a a tech fashion company. and by the way everyone else is funny. and two of the guys from "workaholics" are in it. >> yeah. adam devine and anders holm. and a new guy, zach pearlman. and there's this girl in it, you guys. like, get ready, a star is born. christina scherer, she plays my assistant, becky. >> jimmy: that's -- i was gonna say. where did she come from? >> doesn't she look like a a miniature angelica huston? she's beautiful. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: she's fantastic. >> and she's so funny. she steals every scene she's in. >> jimmy: really funny. great timing. >> really special girl. >> jimmy: i agree with you, yeah. so, you have this company and you're hiring a senior intern program. >> yes. >> jimmy: you agreed to it and you forgot that you agreed to do it. and in comes robert de niro, who's heartbreak -- he's just heartbreakingly good. his wife passed away. >> a few years ago. and he went into retirement. and he worked at retirement. i mean, he traveled, he took up golf. he took up mandarin. he's tried everything and he really wants to feel like he can still be of use to people. >> jimmy: he makes me so sad in the movie. i just -- well, then you have him as an assistant and you guys aren't gonna really get long and then it's a a friendship -- i should say it's not a romantic thing. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know if you thought that, but don't take that, no. >> hollywood hasn't gone there. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> i mean, maybe they have. i don't know anymore. but not in this movie. >> jimmy: this is a friendship. >> no, no. it starts off, first of all, i start off not really being open to the idea because, you know, she thinks that he's gonna slow her down and then they wind up becoming work friends and it kind of blossoms into a true friendship. so, it's a love story, but it's a love story about friendship. >> jimmy: yeah, and then also -- there's also inner office love story stuff too. but then you also remember that how just because you're older doesn't mean you can't work. i mean, he has all that experience and he goes, oh, no i've been through this. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so, i like the message. i love that it's nancy meyers. >> yes. >> jimmy: i love nancy meyers. >> it looks great. >> jimmy: everyone looks -- everyone's lit well. >> everything was funny. >> jimmy: it's a glossy, high. it's a -- >> the outfits are so cute. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a very expensive hollywood movie. and it's just like, oh, yeah. that's what we want. you guys do the work for us. so, sit back, eat popcorn, and watch a fun movie. it's a good date movie. and everyone should check it out. and nancy meyers just -- she thinks of all -- she's quirky. i've known her for years. but i love all these -- like you ride a bike through your office. >> yes. >> jimmy: in one scene. like that's -- and you just ride through the office telling people what to do. and i go, that's a very nancy meyers thing. >> well, i -- and the thing is we shot in new york, and space is expensive in new york city. the office was quite a bit smaller then nancy maybe imagined it. so, i was like riding the bike and we ran out of space so then i had to pedal really slowly and talk really fast at the same time. and occasionally, we would just have to like say a line and then go back to the start and then say another line and hope it would go together. >> jimmy: what a long office they have? yeah, it's very long. it's two laps. >> and i just wanna mention. i've gotta mention with nancy, she's -- i've never worked with anyone who's worked harder. and she's got the biggest heart. and i just remembered there's one scene in the movie where i was so -- i had to get so emotional and i was, you know, struggling a little bit to get there and i just said, i need a a second. and i was sat down on the floor and all of a sudden i looked up and saw nancy sitting there with me just like, hey, we got all the time in the world. like, take your time. she just made me feel really safe in this character. >> jimmy: she knows what she's doing. >> and she, oh, my god. >> jimmy: after how many -- >> she's such a pleasure to trust with your work. >> jimmy: she wrote "private benjamin," right? >> yeah. do you wanna hear kind of a a funny story? >> jimmy: yes. >> so, nancy meyers find out she was -- >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> well, i think it's cute, but maybe not funny. but nancy meyers found out she was pregnant with her oldest daughter, annie, on the first day of shooting "private benjamin," and my mother went into labor with me while watching "private benjamin." >> jimmy: wow. >> kind of crazy, right? >> jimmy: that's really crazy, yeah. oh, my gosh. >> that was a muted reaction. maybe i think the story's better than you do. >> jimmy: no, no. [ laughter ] it's all good. >> i got a really great story. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i was 15 when "private benjamin" came out, so yeah. anyways, i wanna show everyone a clip here. here's anne hathaway's first meeting with robert de niro in "the intern." it's in theaters this weekend. check this out. >> don't feel like you have to dress up. we're super "cash" here. >> i'm comfortable in a suit if it's okay. >> no, it's fine. hopeful. >> exactly. at least i'll stand out. >> i don't think you need a a suit to do that. >> true. well, i think we did it in less than two minutes. i'll wait to hear from you. >> okay. >> want the door open or closed? >> doesn't matter. open, actually. you get used to me. >> look forward to it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. look forward to it, yeah. that's good. our thanks to anne hathaway. "the intern's" in theaters on friday. anthony anderson joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. go jets! go jets! ♪ surprise!!!!! we heard you got a job as a developer! its official, i work for ge!! what? wow... yeah! okay... guys, i'll be writing a new language for machines so planes, trains, even hospitals can work better. oh! sorry, i was trying to put it away... got it on the cake. so you're going to work on a train? not on a train...on "trains"! you're not gonna develop stuff anymore? no i am... do you know what ge is? in these online shopping forms. my personal info hellloooo??? i don't have time to be filling out my address, i need to be buying a dress. that's why i use masterpass. less typing, more dancing. como te llamas? yo soy camarones. dip me. the safer, easier way to shop online. masterpass from mastercard and your bank. it's the shortcut to priceless. mother nature can turn in an instant; sfx: drum beats don't turn back. ♪ introducing the new 2016 ford explorer. be unstoppable. ♪ this is my fight song... who knows, one of these kids just might be the one. to clean the oceans, to start a movement, or lead a country. it may not be obvious yet, but one of these kids is going to change the world. we just need to make sure she has what she needs. welcome to windows 10. the future starts now for all of us. it's from virtually anywhere.rn of danger it's been smashed, dropped and driven. it's perceptive enough to detect other vehicles on the road. it's been shaken, rattled and pummeled. it's innovative enough to brake by itself, park itself and help you steer. it's been in the rain... the cold... and dragged through the mud. introducing the all-new mercedes-benz gle. it's where brains meet brawn. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he is the emmy-nominated star and producer of the hit comedy "black-ish" which returns for it's second season tomorrow at 9:30 p.m. on abc. everyone, please welcome anthony anderson! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show! >> thank you. what up, band? what up, roots crew? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing, pal? everything good? >> everything's great, brother. i can't complain. >> jimmy: no you can't. i saw you at the emmys looking good, you were looking sharp. and even cooler, you had your son with you. >> where my little man at? >> jimmy: nathan, and he was sharp as well. he was looking good as well, man. i got to ask you, did he have fun? >> my favorite picture right there. one of them. yeah, he had a ball. he had a ball. you know, he actually -- my son is an actor. and i had him working on my show all last week. and so i was like, what a a fitting way to end the week than to accompany me to the emmys, where i'm nominated on a a show that is created about you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. mind blown. >> -- he's andre j.r. right there. that's who andre junior is patterned after on my show. >> jimmy: i mean, he's a stud. and he's, was he nervous going to the emmys? >> no, my son is cool, man. he's got a little swag to him. [ laughter ] i'm like, "son, anybody you want to meet?" he's like, "no, dad, i meet who i meet, man. it's all good." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> i was like, "all right." >> jimmy: but he wasn't excited to meet me at all? >> no, no, come on man. he's met you several times. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know. >> that goes back to our "guys with kids days." >> jimmy: i know -- i'm trying to boost my ego a little bit. [ laughter ] but yeah. how old is he now? >> 15. he'll be 16 in february. >> jimmy: so he's 15, so he's gonna start driving? >> start driving soon. >> jimmy: it's insane how fast this happens. >> it is. hey, hold on to it, man. hold those babies in your arms every day. >> jimmy: i mean, whatever arm i can. i squeeze them with whatever working arm. [ laughter ] i love them so much. it happens so quick, right? >> it does. it does. you know, but yeah he'll be -- he already told me what kind of car he wants. he wants an infinity. >> jimmy: oh really? he's dreaming big, man. >> dreaming big. >> jimmy: i didn't have any choice. "no, you're not getting a car." [ laughter ] that was my answer. >> that was mine, too. [ laughter ] that was my lifestyle, too. but i have been teaching him how to drive since he was 9. yeah. >> jimmy: no. >> yes. >> jimmy: no, no, that's not a a good idea. [ laughter ] >> well, yeah, i had to start him early. >> jimmy: no. >> his favorite car at that time was a camaro because it was fresh off of, "transformers." another movie i was in. he loved bumblebee. >> jimmy: you remember, by the way -- do you remember going on the transformer ride? >> yes, i do. >> jimmy: with me? >> no. [ laughter ] wait a minute -- >> jimmy: no, i remember this story. that's why it's funny. i got to be one of the first people to take a ride because i was an nbc-universal employee. and you couldn't come on the ride because you weren't an nbc-universal employee yet. >> no, 'cause i was an employee of jimmy fallon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, but the funny part is, you're like, "i'm in this movie." [ laughter ] >> yes. no, so i remember now. they let you on the first ride. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i had to ride with the general population. [ laughter ] jimmy got sorted in and everything -- >> jimmy: you'e like, "i'm in this movie!" >> -- i got, "no you've got to ride with ticket holders, sir." i'm like, "that's me! right there, in that clinton portis jersey! that's me!" [ laughter and applause ] "i'm the only black guy other than tyrese in this movie!" [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! okay, all right! tyrese, all right. i took the ride with tyrese. but you were there too. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: gosh, that was funny. that made me laugh. so he drove a transformers car? no. >> no, we're raiders fans. i took him to oakland for a a weekend to go to a raiders game. i rented a bumblebee camaro. and on the way back to the airport the next day, i found an open field and parking lot. and put him behind the wheel at nine-years-old and video taped the entire drive. >> jimmy: how was he driving? >> he was great, until he almost hit the light pole. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm saying! no, they can't do that. >> yeah, but he was nine so i couldn't really blame him. i was really nervous about -- >> jimmy: you shouldn't -- you're the one who put him behind the wheel anyway! >> that's why i was nervous, because i got this full-coverage insurance, but i don't think it would have covered me putting my nine-year-old behind the wheel. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no! you have to be concerned ability the baby, not the insurance. >> no, the baby? it has air bags, he was fine. [ laughter ] he's fine. >> jimmy: so he has the acting bug like dad. >> yes, he does. yes, he does. >> jimmy: and he likes performing? does he like it? >> he loves performing. you know, he actually auditioned for "black-ish," didn't get the role. went out and got his own television show, "richie rich," and then invited me down to the set and had them hire me as his father on his show. and he looked at me and said, "that's how nepotism works." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he hired you. >> yeah, i was like, "wow!" smart kid. [ applause ] >> jimmy: smart kid. you remember getting the first time performing? 'cause i know you're a great performer. >> i did. sixth grade graduation, they had me sing "the greatest love of all." >> jimmy: whitney houston? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> and the bad thing is -- i tried to sing it like whitney houston in sixth grade. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's a tough thing to do. >> it's a tough thing. i cracked every other note, but i got through the song. >> jimmy: you got through it. that's a song if you screw it up, it's one of the longest, worst things you could ever hear. >> yes, and i never lived it down. >> jimmy: you can give it a a shot if you want to now. if you wanted to give it a a little try. a little bit. a little taste. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i believe the children are our future ♪ ♪ teach them well and let them lead the way ♪ ♪ show them all the beauty they possess inside ♪ ♪ give them a sense of pride to make it easier ♪ >> white people, you're off beat! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's not true! ♪ remind us how we used to be i decided long ago ♪ ♪ never to walk in anyone's shadow if i fail if i succeed ♪ ♪ at least i have my dignity no matter ♪ >> what are y'all doing? [ laughter ] ♪ you can't take away my dignity ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ because the greatest love of all is happening to me ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i found the greatest love of all inside of me ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: anthony anderson! >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: season two of "black-ish." >> thank you very much! >> jimmy: tomorrow at 9:30 on abc! anthony anderson! a great big world performs for us after the break. stick around, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] (man) hmm. what do you think? ♪ (stranger) good mornin'! ♪ (store p.a.) attention shoppers, there's a lost couple in the men's department. (vo) there's a great big un-khaki world out there. explore it in a subaru crosstrek. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. billy, qualified bank of america customers get 25% or more bonus rewards on eligible credit cards, so could you sing the word "more" 25 times? 25 times? just take a deep breath. what if he sings it only 24 times 'cause then he doesn't have to take such a deep breath? well, you know the whole point of this is 25%. the preferred rewards program from bank of america. get rewards you'll actually use. ♪ the best iphone ever the momis here.rived. and you're all like... and then you remember there's verizon. which is great, because if you're going to get the best iphone wouldn't you want to have the best network? kinda makes you want to jump for joy. tell all your friends and family. even throw a party. get the best iphone on the best network. go in store or visit us online. and get up to $400 when you switch to verizon and trade up to the iphone 6s. because the best deserves the best. the possibility of a flare swas almost always on my mind. thinking about what to avoid, where to go... and how to deal with my uc. to me, that was normal. until i talked to my doctor. she told me that humira helps people like me get uc under control and keep it under control when certain medications haven't worked well enough. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. raise your expectations. ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, control is possible. ♪ haven't been this lost in years ♪ (gps) ♪ recalculating shortest route ♪ ♪ do i really look like this? ♪ ♪ never seen this one before ♪ chicken parm you taste so good ♪ i like it. ♪ mmm mmm mmm mm mmm mm mmmmmm ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our musical guests tonight are having a great, great, great year. they won a grammy for their number one hit "say something." [ cheers and applause ] yeah. they're about to release their second album. performing their new single "hold each other" for the first time on network television. give it up for a great big world, featuring futuristic. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i miss the words we used to say i miss the sounds of yesterday ♪ ♪ i miss the games we used to play like oh ♪ ♪ i was trapped inside a dream i couldn't see her next to me i didn't know she'd ♪ ♪ set me free like oh something happens when i hold her she keeps my heart ♪ ♪ from getting older when the days get short and the nights get a little bit colder ♪ ♪ we hold each other we hold each other we hold each other mmm-mmm ♪ ♪ everything looks different now all this time my head was down ♪ ♪ he came along and showed me how to let go ♪ ♪ i can't remember where i'm from all i know is who i've become ♪ ♪ that our love has just begun like oh ♪ ♪ something happens when i hold him he keeps my heart from getting broken ♪ ♪ when the days get short and the nights get a little bit frozen we hold each other ♪ ♪ we hold each other we hold each other mmm-mmm ♪ ♪ if i'm stressing you that blessing that's sent from heaven these days start to ♪ ♪ feel like hours and hours feel more like seconds people judged us they ♪ ♪ couldn't see the connection when i look at you it's like i'm looking back at my reflection ♪ ♪ i don't see nothing different our pigments they coincide we hold each other so tight ♪ ♪ they couldn't break us if they tried my eyes are those of the blind ♪ ♪ i see no color or size i feel the love in your touch and i trust what's inside your mind ok ♪ ♪ i know that we've been through a lot i know that we both grew up you know i missed you a ♪ ♪ lot when i was young i was dumb didn't think you'd fit in my plot ♪ ♪ and i appreciate the break because i love what we got now you give me chills and i ♪ ♪ can't imagine you leaving if i could build a perfect person honestly you would be it ♪ ♪ and you know nobody knows you like i know you i can't wait to come back home so i can hold you ♪ ♪ something happens when i hold her she keeps my heart from getting older ♪ ♪ when the days get short and the nights get a little bit colder we hold each other ♪ ♪ we hold each other we hold each other mmm-mmm ♪ ♪ we hold each other we hold each other we hold each other mmm-mmm ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! a great big world, futuristic. come on, let's hold each other. let's hold each other. "hold each other" is out now. we'll be right back. my best to mom and dad. will you give them my best for me? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ great change comes from doing the right thing. like the radical idea that health isn't an industry. it's a cause. so we do things differently. we combine care and coverage. and believe prevention is the most powerful of cures. so forgive us for not going with the flow. we just think the flow should go with us. which makes us rebels with one cause. your health. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to anne hathaway, anthony anderson, a great big world! [ cheers and applause ] futuristic! and the roots, everybody! stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. byeperkins. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great. let's get to the news. dr. ben carson defended his comments about muslims being unfit for the presidency, and
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bye-bye. hey! we got a package from my dad. no air holes in the box. that's a good sign. lily loved having that chicken. one more time than she realized. listen, i just got an e-mail from our wedding singer. he has a small request. another one? since when does the wedding singer send us requests? well, no, he just wants to change a few songs in your medley to avoid overlap with the stuff that he's performing. well, i hope it's none of my showstoppers. oh, they're all showstoppers. [ chuckling ] oh, you're too kind. oh, my gosh, it's us. for our wedding cake. couldn't you just die? i really think i could. my dad made this. he's a world-class soap carver. you know, once, when i was a kid, i cussed, and my mom washed my mouth out with the leaning tower of pisa. she still blames herself to this day. oh, i would have nixed that wedding topper immediately,
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in july protesters boarded kay kayaks and this picture reads bye bye, and don't come back. >> for now, the exploratory well will be sealed and abandoned. >>> pope francis is back in the vatican this morning. thinks final message before leaving the u.s. to be open to miracles of love. we have a look at the pope's final day in philadelphia. on sunday the pope had a message for the bishops. >> god weeps for the sexual abuse of children. it cannot be remain in secret. i will ensure that all responsible will be held accountable. >> the vatican said that pope francis met and prayed with the victims, which included three women and two men and continuing with the message, pope francis met with prisoners and their families at the correctional facility. as he entered the hall, he gave a thumbs up to the walnutwood chair that infates made for him. pope francis encouraged the inmates to get their lives back on track. >> this time in your life can only have one purpose. to get your hand on the right road. to give you a hand to get into society. >> shaking hands with the men and women and even gett
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bye-bye. ♪ >>> refugees break through police lines on hungries border with serbia, hoping to take itll the way to germany. now the white house is considering how the u.s. can ramp up its response. >>> congress is back at work today, with the iran nuclear deal on the agenda. >>> and protesters greet the minnesota dentist who killed cecil the lion. they said he should be sent to africa to answer for the death. ♪ >>> this is al jazeera america live from new york city. i'm stephanie sy. powerful images coming from the hungary serbia border today. hungary's prime minister is promising to make the attempt to cross difficult for them. he plans to have a fence completed before the end of the year. thousands of refugees have also been arriving in vienna austria this morning. >> reporter: stephanie here another the station, we have seen hundreds of refugees coming into this train station today, arriving. they have been treated so humanely it really is quite a sight to see. in fact behind me, that corridor is for when the refugees first arrive, they are greeted with applause when they step off
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bye bye! 130 yards now... bill's got a very tough lie here... looks like we have some sort of sea monster in the water hazard here. i believe that's a "kraken", bruce. it looks like he's going to go with a nine iron. that may not be enough club... well he's definitely going to lose a stroke on this hole. if you're a golf commentator, you whisper. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. [000:29:38;00]
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." >> bye-bye. >> the summer's hottest bikini bodies. taylor, reese, j. law. super bowl commercial to save his life. inside the hospital with mini darth vader. >> focus on the things you can do instead of the things you can't do. >> his courage and parents' heartbreak. and remembering joan rivers the year after her passing. the latest in the wrongful death lawsuit. tomorrow on "e.t." now at eight. santa clara county's sheriff orders the deputies, the charges are murder, assault under cover of authority and whoosh not in my neighborhood. a major development tonight in the fight from moving into an east baywhoosh the guy got what he deserved. neighbors defend an 85 year old man who opened fire on two would be robbers he says broke into his el cerrito home. one thing we are doing is thinking of taking a collect to four female students fighting as one boy dances his way to third period. the raucous start to thenew year at a texas high school. this is a full hour of your choice for prime time news. >> pam:three south bay deputies behind the bars they used to guard
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bye-bye. >> they are waving back at you. >> bye vittoria. >> thanks very much. >> and great day to be out, celebrating and having a great time before this concert. >> it is we have luck out, dry today, warm for some people, you have to remember still summer season here. things could be worse. we are not talking record temperatures. it will get hotter this time of the year as we approach 100 d books but lets take you outside to the neighborhood network, and place to cool off, we will be at new jersey shore live look at margate right now for beach patrol headquarters. beach clearing out but not a bad evening at all, watch as sunsets, waves calm right now, hazy conditions but overall a comfortable conditions with the nice breeze coming in off the atlantic ocean. i mentioned can get worse, you thought today was hot. in 1952 the record was 100 degrees tomorrow and that thursday same deal, 100. we're not going to get this hot. so no record temperatures to talk about but 90's still racking up. another one. that is 31 days so far for 2015. so we're getting closer to 2012, 39. if you are not a fan of the heat,
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bye. >> good bye, come to george's. >> i don't want to say good bye. >> well, say hello. >> say hello. >> you say good bye and i'll say hello. >> that ice cream looked fantastic. >> good bye, summer, good bye down the shore. >> vittoria, well done, good stuff. >> thank you so much, guys. >> that looks good. >> maybe we should dig into this, yes. >> bye, guys. >> they are here all week. >> see you back there. >> take care. see new a bit. >> so funny. it doesn't feel like summer is coming. >> it is hot out. >> we are in the middle of it. >> beach is still good after labor day. second season, crowds are gone, weather still warm, ocean still warm. we have sometime to yet. nothing to get depressed just yet. we have a hot forecast coming up still in the seven day forecast but we will take a break from the heat. but lets keep beach theme going. we have a live look from our neighborhood network. 84 degrees. boardwalk thinning out. ocean looking calm, but this week the the ocean will get roughed up as wind kick off out of the north east. make sure life guards are on duty if you plan to hit the oc
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bye-bye!. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. good to hear it. let's get to the news. donald trump said this weekend that while he doesn't think workers should be fired for being gay, he still does not
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bye-bye. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- julianne moore. mark-paul gosselaar. musical guest dnce. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 339, massachusetts! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. that's what i'm talking about. hey, everybody. you're doing good! [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome, welcome. thank you so much for being here. welcome to "the tonight show," everyone. let's talk about what everyone is talking about here. president obama and vladimir putin met yesterday at the u.n. they met, yeah. but the white house and the kremlin have been disagreeing about who asked who to meet. [ light laughter ] yeah. for my younger viewers, that means that they were arguing who about swiped right first. [ laughter and applause ] now you understand? that's right. president obama and vladimir putin had lunch yesterday, and i guess things went pretty well based on this warm handshake when it was all over. take a look. >> thank you, everybody. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, the old two-pump grump. [ laughter ] old fake and shake. [ light laughter ] pretty much how all my dates ended in college. [ laughter ] it's like, "all right, thanks. have a good -- oh, of course, and i'll shake your hand, too. yeah. and -- take care. [ laughter ] yeah. i miss you!" even weirder when obama looked down at his hand and he was holding putin's hotel key. [ laughter and applause ] [ russian voice ] "excuse me as i slip into something more comfortable." but after their meeting got off to a tense start, president obama and vladimir putin wound up talking for 90 minutes. putin described the talk as surprisingly open. putin said it was the most productive conversation he's ever had with someone who wasn't tied to a chair. [ laughter and applause ] isn't that nice? "tell me where the microfiche is!" [ slap sound ] this is interesting here. i read bill clinton is reportedly going to start taking a more active role in hillary clinton's campaign. when asked why he's playing a a bigger role, he said, [ as clinton ] "oh, i thought you said there was going to be 'role play.'" [ laughter and applause ] "that's why i'm dressed like a a fireman." ♪ "where's the fire? i got to put the fire out." >> steve: slide down the pole. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, man, oh, man. a lot of people were upset about this, guys. facebook went down yesterday for the second time in a week. [ audience ohs ] as a matter of fact, it's gotten so bad, people were holding up their babies to strangers and shouting, "do you like this?" [ laughter ] "do you like this? do you like this?" that's four likes. [ laughter ] pope francis just released a a rock single called -- that's right, pope francis just released -- [ laughter ] -- a rock single called "wake up, go go forward." [ laughter ] like four titles, but that's it. >> steve: yeah, "wake up, go go forward." >> jimmy: "wake up, go go forward." this is true. he plans to release a whole album in november. this is a true story. we actually got an advance list of some of the songs. [ light laughter ] >> steve: did we really? >> jimmy: this part's not true, yeah. [ laughter ] >> steve: okay. the other part was true but -- >> jimmy: that part was true, yeah. we got an advanced list here at "the tonight show" of some of the songs on the album. >> steve: oh, my god. >> jimmy: i mean, big songs. they're going to be hits. the first one we have here is "party like it's 1699." [ laughter and applause ] big songs. >> steve: huge. >> jimmy: songs like, "pope-a does preach." [ laughter ] i mean, hit songs. songs like "smells like holy spirit." [ laughter and applause ] that's good. classics like "poping ain't easy." that's -- [ laughter ] finally, there's "celebation." [ applause ] ♪ celibate good times come on it's a celibation ♪ ♪ ♪ abstain >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] restrain? >> steve: abstain. >> jimmy: oh, abstain, yeah. absolutely. [ laughter ] big movie news here, you guys. vin diesel recently said that he plans to end the "fast and furious" franchise with three more movies. [ laughter ] just three more movies, then that's it. >> steve: done. >> jimmy: it's done. i've had enough. only five more films. then i will never -- you'll never hear of us again. [ light laughter ] i don't want to say they're running out of ideas, though, but just -- in the next one here, he spends two hours looking for a parking spot at costco. [ laughter ] it's just -- they're running out of ideas. [ applause ] "gotta get a space quickly!" oh, this is not good here, you guys. whole foods announced yesterday that it is cutting 1,500 jobs. [ audience oohs ] although whole foods doesn't want to call them unemployed. they're calling them, "free-range employees." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, this is everywhere online today. a man was filling up his car at a gas station this week when he saw a spider on his gas tank. did you guys see this? the man is totally fine. but check out what he did and also what this lady had to say afterwards. >> he spotted a spider on his gas tank. because he is deathly afraid of the critters, he pulled out his lighter and decided to burn it. >> do you know, gas go boom? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: "do you know, gas go boom?" that's right. we have a great show, everybody. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you so much. everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome. finger's doing well, by the way. everybody keeps asking. "how's the finger?" finger is doing well. look at this. [ applause ] i can make a fist, almost. >> steve: let's see. >> jimmy: well if we were getting in a fight. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: if we were getting mugged, and i have to defend you. >> steve: help me. help me. someone is mugging me. >> jimmy: okay, hold on. [ light laughter ] "where is he?" yeah. [ laughter ] so i can do that. guys, we're doing this fun thing. tom hanks is going to be on the show in a couple of weeks, and we wanted to do a fun thing with him, but i'm going to need your help. it's called "kid theater." okay? so if you have a kid ages five to nine, uh -- if you have a kid anywhere in that age. if you have a kid that ages five to nine, and at random, that's pretty cool, but -- [ laughter ] >> steve: how old is he today? he's five. how old is he tomorrow? nine. >> jimmy: he's nine. [ laughter ] why don't you have them write a a story with the title "bridge of spies." okay, that's the name of tom hanks' new movie, okay? now, it's important you don't tell them what the actual movie is about. and have them write a short scene, one or two pages, with two character said talking to each other. give them the title "bridge of spies" and let their imagination do the rest. when they're done, e-mail it to kidtheater@thetonightshow.com. we're gonna choose our favorites and tom and i will act them out on our show. it'll be fun. kid theater. [ applause ] "tonight show" kid theater. we have a great week of shows ahead. julianna margulies is here. [ cheers and applause ] miley cyrus is hosting "saturday night live." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: seth rogen will be here. [ cheers ] i love seth rogen. we'll have performances from disclosure and chvrches. you don't want to miss it. but first, tonight, oh, it's a a big star. oh, we love her so much. from the new movie "freeheld" the lovely, the talented, julianne moore is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] later in the show, julianne and i are playing a fun game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: plus, from the new nbc sitcom "truth be told" mark-paul gosselaar is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] we love mark-paul gosselaar on our show! "truth be told." >> steve: truth be told. >> jimmy: has to be another game we play on the show, "truth be told." it's a new show on nbc. it's getting good reviews, and anyways, mark-paul will be dropping by. it'll be fun. and we have great music from dnce. there you go right there. [ cheers and applause ] dnce will be here, ladies and gentlemen. play some good music. guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh with the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of u.n. week in new york. [ audience groans ] [ light laughter ] traffic is great, huh? yeah. it's awesome. the u.n. general assembly is happening right now. it's just a few blocks away. it's a very important event. but it's not always easy having that many world leaders in one place. so let's take a look at the pros and cons of u.n. week here in new york. here we go. pro, new york city is playing host to the most powerful people in the world. con, assuming the kardashians show up. [ laughter ] we can only hope. we can only hope. pro, it's thousands of people from over 100 countries flooding new york. con, it's basically donald trump's worst nightmare. [ laughter and applause ] "wall! wall! [ laughter ] wall." [ light laughter ] pro, obama is staying at the waldorf-astoria. con, putin is staying at the hotel transylvania. that's interesting. [ laughter and applause ] i heard that's nice. i heard it's nice. pro, chinese president xi jinping said the road to peace is long and hard. [ light laughter ] con, that's what xi said. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ you know, come on. >> steve: it's the guy's name! >> jimmy: i had to do it. [ applause ] >> steve: it's name. >> jimmy: what do you want me to do? >> steve: his name is xi. that's what xi said. >> jimmy: i know. [ laughter ] >> steve: good grief. >> jimmy: all right, don't get upset. >> steve: it's a fact. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. pro, more than 150 world leaders are here in new york. con, they're all slowly walking in front of you on the sidewalk. [ applause ] "get a selfie with me!" in the building. pro, chris christie calls it the most special place on earth because you can celebrate all the different nations under one roof. con, he was talking about the international house of pancakes. [ laughter and applause ] he's not wrong. >> steve: it's international. >> jimmy: he's not wrong. pro, monday's agenda focused on climate change, while tuesday, wednesday, and thursday will center on education, peacekeeping, and the global economy. con, friday is karaoke and 10-cent wings night. [ laughter ] only 10 cents. worth it. >> steve: that's what xi said. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pro, since the first meeting back in 1946, members have traditionally voted on issues with a "yea" or a "nay." con, now they vote with a "yea" or a "nae nae." [ laughter and applause ] "uh, i give it a stanky leg." [ laughter ] "all right, that's -- that's 14 yeas, 23 nae naes, and one stanky leg. thank you very much." [ laughter ] pro, the prime minister of sweden gave a teary, emotional speech about how hard it is to make things come together. con, he was talking about a a dresser he bought last week in ikea. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, pro, avoiding traffic by taking a horse and carriage ride through central park. con, realizing your horse is being ridden by this guy. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: there you go. that's the "pros and cons," everybody. we'll be right back with julianne moore. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ with a rebel yell ♪ ♪ more, more, more, more, more ♪ billy, you're a genius. thank you. yes, now qualified bank of america customers can get more, more, more with our preferred rewards program. more rewards they'll actually use. actually, they get more, more, more, more, more, more, more. [ laughs ] could you try that? no. oh. the preferred rewards program from bank of america. get rewards you'll actually use. ♪ i'm angela, and i quit smoking with chantix. for ten long years i was ready to quit. but i couldn't do it on my own. i needed help and chantix was there. and i did it. along with support, chantix (varenicline) is proven to help people quit smoking. it reduces the urge to smoke. some people had changes in behavior, thinking or mood, hostility, agitation, depressed mood and suicidal thoughts or actions while taking or after stopping chantix. some had seizures while taking chantix. if you have any of these, stop chantix and call your doctor right away. tell your doctor about any history of mental health problems, which could get worse or of seizures. don't take chantix if you've had a serious allergic or skin reaction to it. if have these, stop chantix and call your doctor right away as some can be life-threatening. tell your doctor if you have heart or blood vessel problems, or develop new or worse symptoms. get medical help right away if you have symptoms of a heart attack or stroke. decrease alcohol use while taking chantix. use caution when driving or operating machinery. most common side effect is nausea. i never thought i would be a non-smoker and i'm so proud. ask your doctor if chantix is right for you. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an academy award winning actress starring alongside ellen page in a new movie called "freeheld." it opens in select theaters this friday and nationwide october 16th. please welcome the lovely julianne moore, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm so happy you're here. congratulations on winning an academy award. oh, my god. it's the greatest. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i have a picture -- i have a a photo of you from the awards. look how gorgeous. thank you for coming on the show. >> you know what i was thinking there? i was thinking, that's a monkey off my back. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? come on. yeah right. i mean, look at this. how fun was that? was it -- >> it was actually super, super fun. yeah, it was great, yeah. >> jimmy: did you freak out? i told you -- >> terrified. i was absolutely terrified, yeah. >> jimmy: how are -- how are the kids? how's cal doing? >> great. he's great. he's 17. >> jimmy: i love cal. >> a pretty great guy. >> jimmy: last time, yeah, we tried to embarrass him. >> that's right he was here, because he had -- the story i told, he accidentally texted me thinking i was his girlfriend. [ light laughter ] so, he sent me an instant message. >> jimmy: he called -- he called you -- >> he called me baby. >> jimmy: babe or something. baby, yeah. >> hey, baby. hey, baby. i'm like, hey, it's mom. what's up? [ laughter ] hey, mom here. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i knew it was you, mom, baby. i call you baby sometimes. >> baby mom. mommy baby. >> jimmy: but now you say you're using bitmojis. >> i am awesome. i'm awesome at bitmojis. do you know about those? >> jimmy: i don't know bitmoji. >> bitmoji's this app, and you can go on it and you make like this little person, this little character that looks like you. you choose an eye color and you choose a hair color and a a hairdo. i gave myself a top knot. and a little outfit. >> jimmy: very good. >> and then you're a little person. rather than saying like, hey, when you coming home for dinner, sweetheart? you can just say like, what's up? and it's your little person saying like, what's up? >> jimmy: well, i have a couple of your -- so, how would you -- >> it's like this, like, yeah. >> jimmy: this is your bitmoji saying -- >> i love you this much. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: awe, that's cute, yeah. >> yeah. that's mommy saying, i love you. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, that's nice. then what is mommy saying here? >> uh-huh. oh, ain't nobody got time for that. [ laughter ] that's like when somebody leaves a wet towel on the floor of their bedroom and you're like, no, no, no. no, no, no. yeah. >> jimmy: bitmoji mommy doesn't have any time for that. >> got time for that. oh, that's -- true dat, yep. that one -- [ laughter ] that one's, do i have to be home for dinner by 6:30? true dat. >> jimmy: true dat, yeah, you do. actually you have to be home by 6:29, actually. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and then this one's a a great one. >> this is when -- >> jimmy: a trophy, you're the worst. >> you're the worst. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i think we know. >> you're the worst. >> jimmy: you are the worst! congratulations. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you did it. >> you did it, you did it. >> jimmy: what else are you using? are you doing snapchats? >> oh, yeah. you bet i am. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah. well, the only people i snapchat are my husband and my son and my daughter, because i don't know anybody else on snapchat. so, i snapchat them, but and liv will snapchat me a lot, but cal refuses, because he doesn't snapchat a lot of people and if you snapchat someone too often they become your best friend on snapchat. he doesn't want to be best friends with his mom. >> jimmy: doesn't want to be best friends with baby. [ laughter ] he can't be best friends with baby. >> open up snapchat, best friend, mom. mom. no. >> jimmy: mom, stop. that's a cool snapchat, yeah. the kids are being -- 'cause they're always fun, but you said they're making fun of you a little bit, your kids. they like to make fun of you. >> my daughter doesn't think -- she thinks i have a fake laugh. yeah. >> jimmy: this is great. >> i don't think that's true. like i don't -- like, she'll say something and i'll go like, that's funny. and she goes, that's not -- that's your fake laugh. that's not a real laugh. [ laughter ] and then i'm like, no, no. then you lose sight of your laugh. >> jimmy: but you were actually genuinely laughing. >> yeah, i was genuinely laughing. now i can't even locate my laugh. >> jimmy: yeah, that seems fake. >> that seems fake. like this. [ laughter ] that really fake, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. you do one. >> jimmy: how do you normally laugh? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't do it. [ laughter ] that's it right there! that's how you laugh. that's a good laugh. [ applause ] is it? are you acting? >> you do it. i'm not acting. you do one. >> jimmy: maybe change your laugh. then they'll know. maybe do like -- do like the ernie laugh. >> that's a good one. or one -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, i love that laugh. that's a great laugh. i got to think about -- i changed it once in high school. 'cause i thought it would be cool. i was really into corey haim at the time. >> sure. >> jimmy: "lost boys." and so he had a laugh. he was like -- [ laughter ] and so i would just do like -- >> the sound on this one. >> jimmy: and everyone was like, what are you doing? i just thought it was funny. i was like -- it wasn't like, ha ha funny, but it was pretty funny. it was more like -- [ laughter ] yeah, exactly. we look like two crazy people right now. let's -- it's off the rails. our interview is so off the rails. if you're just tuning in, you're like, what -- what are they doing right now? let's talk about your film. >> yep. >> jimmy: first of all, on the cover of out magazine. >> the wonderful, glorious ellen page. >> jimmy: i love ellen page so much. >> i love her too. >> jimmy: she's fantastic. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and this movie is based on a true story. >> yes. >> jimmy: this is a true story. >> it is. it's a story of laurel hester, who was a police detective in ocean county, new jersey, who wanted to leave her pension benefits to her domestic partner, stacie andree and she -- after they registered for domestic partnership she discovered she had stage 4 lung cancer, and they refused to turn the benefits over. and so the last year of her life was fought, you know, with this battle. and then eventually they won, and then she died. so, it's a sad story. it's a beautiful story. a beautiful, beautiful love story, and they are the people who paved the way for marriage equality. >> jimmy: and how did -- how was it like filming here in new york city? >> i love -- oh, well, new york is an interesting place. i mean, you've probably filmed here a lot, right? >> jimmy: yeah, sure. [ laughter ] i was in two movies. big deal. >> i saw them both. i saw them both. >> jimmy: yes, thank you. yeah, right. >> and then, you know, people see a truck and they walk by, they're like, what's -- what's this show? is this a commercial? and then somebody's like, well, no, it's not a commercial. is it a tv show? they're like, no, it's not a tv show. it's a movie. oh, who's in this movie? julianne moore? yeah, who else? ellen page. yeah, what's it about? well, it's about the fight for domestic partnership in new jersey and paved the way for marriage equality. they're like, what, yeah? and they go, okay, okay, no, it's where the lady from "boogie nights" is a lesbian with the girl from "juno." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'll go see that. that sounds good! i like that. it's a good movie. yeah, love it. >> that's right. yeah. >> jimmy: we have a clip. here's julianne moore and ellen page in "freeheld." take a look at this. >> hi. >> hi. >> i screwed up. i had no right to talk to you the way i did. i ruined our date, and i really enjoyed being with you. and i'm nervous. >> maybe i am too old for you. >> stop saying that. if anything you're too smart for me. >> no way. you're smart. funny, and you're honest. and basically, i think you're amazing. >> so you called to say i'm amazing? >> yes. can i see you again? >> yeah. yeah, you can. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: julianne moore. julianne and i are playing "box of lies" when we come back. get ready, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ where will you be able to go in a jeep renegade? ♪ go forth and have no fear ♪ just about everywhere...safely. ♪ and i said hey, hey hey hey ♪ ♪ living like we're renegades ♪ over 70 available safety and security features like hands-free voice and texting... blind-spot and forward collision monitoring... and lane departure warning. ♪ the all-new jeep renegade. ♪ renegades ♪ take off...and take on anything. padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it. helping you fall asleep and stay asleep so your body can heal as you rest. advil pm. for a healing night's sleep. take a look at these bbq best cracked pepper sauce... most ribs eaten while calf roping... yep, greatness deserves recognition. you got any trophies, cowboy? ♪ whoomp there it is uh, yeah... well, uh, well there's this one. best insurance mobile app? yeah, two years in a row. well i'll be... does that thing just follow you around? like a little puppy! the award-winning geico app. download it today. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm here with julianne moore and we're about to face of in a a game of "box of lies." yeah, that's right. now here's how it works. [ deep voice ] upstage are a a bunch of boxes containing objects neither of us have seen before. [ light laughter ] taking turns, julianne and i are going to select a box and open it on our side of the table, out of view of the other person. okay? you remove the object from your box, show it to the audience. then look at your opponent and tell them what's in your box. [ light laughter ] you might be lying. you might be telling the truth. your opponent has to guess either "lie" or "truth." if you guess correctly you get a point. if you guess wrong the other person gets a point. first to two points wins. julianne, as our guest, why don't you go first, please. [ high voice ] >> all right, jimmy. i'll go first. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my voice changed. >> yeah, my voice changed too. >> jimmy: yes, interesting. here we go. >> okay. all right, let's do it. >> jimmy: select your box. i like that voice character. i don't know what we do with that. >> number one. >> jimmy: oh, box number one. okay, interesting. looks -- oh, looks a little hefty. >> oh, god. oh, my god. >> jimmy: oh, stop it. [ light laughter ] >> i'm not a liar. >> jimmy: no, i know you're not. but you're a very good actor, so let's see -- we'll put you to the test here. ♪ >> oh, wow. oh, wow. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: not looking. not looking. >> oh. >> jimmy: okay. oh, wow. oh, wow. >> it's -- um. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, what is it? yeah, what is it? yeah, what is it? >> super soft. >> jimmy: okay, super soft. >> super soft. >> jimmy: that's how you're describing it? >> super -- >> jimmy: super soft? >> garbage can. it's a super soft garbage can. >> jimmy: okay? super soft garbage can. >> stuff -- >> jimmy: stuffed. >> garbage can -- >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> with a fuzzy, fuzzy -- [ baby voice ] fuzzy oscar the gwouch. >> jimmy: okay -- oscar the gwouch. [ laughter ] this is where i get somebody who's texting them. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, so it's fuzzy. it's a stuffed animal of oscar the grouch. >> in a soft can. >> jimmy: yeah, you keep saying soft can. [ light laughter ] >> super -- >> jimmy: super -- i don't know if this is real at all. you keep saying super -- >> super soft. >> jimmy: super soft, yeah. like super soft. super soft garbage can. >> yeah, super soft garbage can. >> jimmy: absolutely, this is -- you lie. >> i am not a liar! >> jimmy: ah, you're right. it was super soft. [ applause ] wearing a donald trump hat. >> i didn't see -- you know what? i should have mentioned he had hair. >> jimmy: wearing a a donald trump hat that says "make america great again." >> this is my favorite part. go away. >> jimmy: go away. all right, gosh. you got me on that one. >> yeah, i got you. >> jimmy: god, see? all right, what number shall i choose? [ cheers ] super soft -- seven? that's too far away. nine. okay. [ grunting ] [ laughter ] >> come on. who's lying now? >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: almost threw my back out there. here we go. all right. [ laughter ] >> come on, that's so not fair. they're already laughing. >> jimmy: well, it's interesting. it's from my personal collection. [ laughter ] i have in my hand -- now, what it is, it's a book. with my name, jimmy, in macaroni. >> no, come on. >> jimmy: but the book is "babysitters' club." [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] >> i think you're telling the truth. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: well then, you should give me the oscar, because it's not. [ laughter ] the oscar the grouch. naked justin bieber on roller blades? i have no idea. but is from my personal collection. [ laughter ] oh, i'm so happy. it makes you feel good. >> that was good. >> jimmy: now it's tied. this is for the win. >> shoot. >> jimmy: this is for the win. it's up to you. >> okay, all right. >> jimmy: what box shall you choose? [ cheers ] four, seven? three? >> audience: five! >> five! okay, five, five, five. >> jimmy: why did everyone decide on five? that's so weird. >> i know! >> jimmy: everyone said five. all right. >> it's like a zeitgeist thing, right? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. everyone's feeling five. >> yeah, everyone's feeling five. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not looking. not looking. not looking. getting some chuckles from the audience. so i know that it's not a very serious thing. no? >> oh, god. it's a -- it's um -- it's wide? >> jimmy: okay. it's wide. >> it's -- it's a wide like a a paddle hair brush. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> with a silver handle. um -- >> jimmy: what is going on? are you having a stroke? >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: are you okay? [ laughter ] let me know. are you smelling toast? are you smelling burnt toast? let me know, okay? [ laughter ] >> it's like a paddle -- a a large paddle hair brush, maybe for a person, maybe for an animal. in kind of like a knitted sock cozy. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it is a paddle -- >> a paddle hair brush you can use -- >> jimmy: for a human or animal. >> i think probably for an animal. 'cause i think it's a bigger hair brush than a person would use. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but i have seen some of those giant hair brushes. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: my sister used to have. and they're square and you can get them at -- we had a place called fay's, it was a drug store, and you get them. >> sure. >> jimmy: so i see that happening. but it's metal. i've never seen a metal one before. usually they're plastic. which could mean that you're lying somehow. [ light laughter ] and then there's something else that you said -- >> it's got like a knitted cover, like a cozy. like a tea cozy thing. >> jimmy: then how do you know it's metal? >> no, i said the paddle brush was metal, but the knitted tea cozy part goes around it. >> jimmy: the handel? >> around the back of it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guess what? guess what? you lie! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] no! that's going to make me cry. >> no, it's us. look, it's us, jimmy. >> jimmy: wait, how did that -- >> it's us from moments ago. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, how is that possible? >> i don't know. it's a miracle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how did that even happen? that just happened tonight. that's what we're both wearing. >> i know. it's a miracle. >> jimmy: but we're over there. >> i know. >> jimmy: i love you. you're my friend forever. oh, i love ya. i'll give you the win. julianne moore, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "freeheld" is in select theaters this friday. nationwide, october 16th. we'll be right back with mark-paul gosselaar, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when broker chris hill stays at laquinta and fires up free wi-fi, with a network that's now up to 5 times faster than before you know what he can do? let's see if he's ready. he can swim with the sharks! book your next stay at lq.com! 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(crowd cheering) ...might not seem so big after all. ♪ prudential, bring your challenges. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our next guest from his work on shows like "saved by the bell" and "nypd blue." he's now starring in the next sitcom, "truth be told", which premieres friday, october 16th at 8:30 p.m. on nbc. set your tivos and dvrs or whatever you have. yeah, set those. [ light laughter ] everyone, please welcome mark-paul gosselaar, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you're not playing with the roots today. you're not in the band today. >> jimmy, jimmy, this is the first interview not in character. this is the first time i have ever talked to you not in character. >> jimmy: not as zack morris. >> no. i don't know how this is going to go, jimmy. >> jimmy: so far, so great. i mean, you look great. doesn't he look amazing? it's mark-paul gosselaar. [ cheers and applause ] we're happy you're here. you're in the nbc family. >> doesn't he look great as mark-paul gosselaar? >> jimmy: doesn't he look great as mark-paul gosselaar? >> a couple people groaned. they're like, "we wanted the blond hair. i don't know about this guy." >> jimmy: no, but we owe a lot to you. i've got to say thank you, because we do owe a lot to you. when we were first doing our show, "late night", you were our first viral hit. we just asked if you would do this thing. and you go -- you were so nice, you go, "yeah, totally, i'll do it." we'll get you a wig and we'll get -- >> i found the clothes. i mean, i don't have acid-washed jeans in my wardrobe, but we found all these clothes at a costume place. >> jimmy: this is 2009. >> look how young we looked. >> jimmy: look at how -- >> look at how young. >> jimmy: by the way, i don't know if anyone has told you this, but you haven't aged. >> i didn't age here, because this wig was about two sizes too small. it pulled my forehead back. [ light laughter ] and it got rid of all my wrinkles. so, it was like a great way of having botox without the botox. a lot of people actually on twitter were like, "dude, you've got to lay off the botox. your face looks plastered." i was like, "you know, that was the wig." >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so wearing the wig can actually pull your face back and make you look younger? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, i like this. >> look, yeah, see. >> jimmy: oh, it actually does work. and this is one of the best wigs you can buy on amazon. [ light laughter ] i have to show a picture of your daughter. do you mind if i -- >> no, no, go ahead. i think i put this -- yeah, this was instagram. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: are you kidding me? that's the cutest baby. oh, my gosh. >> there she is. >> jimmy: congratulations. oh, my gosh. >> so, we have four kids. my brother -- i'm one of four. my brother has four kids. they're all boys, my brother's kids. so you know they're gonna procreate. [ light laughter ] and my family is from holland. i don't know if you know this, but in dutch, gosselaar means "[ bleep ] like rabbit." >> jimmy: no, wait a second. i don't think you can say "rabbit" on the show. [ laughter ] are you allowed to say that? no, you're not allowed. not allowed to say "rabbit" on nbc. >> sorry, sorry. >> jimmy: no problem. >> i'm so used to this, because i was on cable last year. now i'm actually -- >> jimmy: different story. you're on network television. you cannot say any type of rodent animal at all. [ laughter ] >> a rabbit is a rodent, by the way. >> jimmy: you can't say that word on our show. >> sorry, sorry. >> jimmy: we'll bleep you out. don't worry about it. >> thank you. thank you. i don't want to get fined, guys. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, no, please. but this is a -- what were we talking about again? [ laughter ] by the way, mark-paul gosselaar, i just said it, rolls off the tongue. i'm so used to saying it, it's like the color blue for me. >> sure. >> jimmy: that's how much i said your name. you're one of my favorites. >> thank you. >> jimmy: then i was look at the spelling of your name, then i go, "is it gause-a-laar?" larr? like gos-a-larr? >> in dutch, it's gosselaar. how that rolls of the tongue. gosselaar. >> jimmy: yeah, no problem. here, have some water. mark-paul gosselaar. >> gosselaar. >> jimmy: so you're swedish? >> no, dutch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry. >> i think we just had this conversation. i think we just had -- >> jimmy: i'm sorry, i've got -- >> no, no, no, no. did you know that my mother, and i'm saying this as if i'm excited about this, but my mother is asian. my mother is from indonesia. >> jimmy: she's from indonesia. >> she's from indonesia. my mother is this tiny little indonesian woman. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. people don't know that zack morris is half-asian. >> that's why the hair, the blond hair was dyed for all those years. people think, "oh, that was your natural hair color." it was not. >> jimmy: ah-ha. very interesting. >> color by clairol. that's actually not a box you can check at the dmv. that is not natural, guys. >> jimmy: that's a good look right there. come on. oh, my gosh. >> you can see the brown kind of going -- you know, our show, every year, we thought we would be canceled. every single season of "saved by the bell" it was canceled. at the end of the season, we left, we said goodbye to each other. that's why every season my hairstyle was so radically different. 'cause i was going back to school. i had the vanilla ice thing, because vanilla ice was big in 1990 >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> so i had the shaved sides and the big bouffant. >> jimmy: i did whatever you did. >> yeah! [ laughter ] >> i did whatever ferris bueller did or whatever was cool around that era. that's why -- remember when zack morris talked to the camera? people were like, that was such a novel idea that you came up with. i was like, no that was done by ferris bueller. we were just copying him. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, that was like the muse for my character was ferris bueller. i was such a fan of ferris bueller. >> jimmy: every kid was. >> and that's what zack was. >> jimmy: well, let's talk about -- now you have a new show. >> i do. >> jimmy: and truth be told -- >> "truth be told" is the name of the show. oh -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> i get confused when you say that. truth be told, he's on a show. >> he's on a show called "truth be told." can you set up the show at all? >> well, it's about four people, two couples. a black couple -- i don't play that part. >> jimmy: yeah, well. [ light laughter ] who knows what happens? >> i do check a box. i check a box of another thing. my wife on the show is played by vanessa lachey. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, it's a diverse cast and different points of view. >> jimmy: it's a comedy, super fun. >> it's a comedy, it's a a multi-cam. but i think what people are going to take away is the chemistry between all four of us is amazing. i know actors say that all the time, but you'll see, the audience will recognize the chemistry is real between us. >> jimmy: i want to show everyone a clip. "truth be told." here's mark-paul gosselaar. >> sure. [ light laughter ] >> what are you really talking about? >> actually we were just talking about kimberly. >> the babysitter? >> i feel like she's kind of -- >> delicious. totally. i trust you. >> i trust me, too. i trust me not to put myself in these situations. >> were you planning on sleeping with her? >> no! >> of course not! >> so, what's happening here is you're making a problem where one doesn't exist. >> oh, that's his jam. >> mitch, you're being crazy. >> oh, what'd he do? yell at another cop for texting and driving? >> no, worse. we found a great babysitter. kimberly is fantastic. in fact, we're already facebook friends. and she friended me, which never happens. i mean, not never. you know, i'm cool. in fact -- >> stay on top of it. >> but this one doesn't want us hiring her because she's hot. >> don't hire that girl. >> thank you. >> what? [ applause ] >> jimmy: that one's got kind >> jimmy: mark-paul gosselaar! "truth be told" premieres friday, october 16th at 8:30 p.m. on nbc. dnce performs for us next. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ see, we've completely remodeled the kitchen. cozy. let's go check out the pantry! it's our dunkin' dream room. amazing. delicious dunkin' donuts coffee. pick some up where you buy groceries. try our k-cup pods today. america runs on dunkin'. try our k-cup pods today. billy, qualified bank of america customers get 25% or more bonus rewards on eligible credit cards, so could you sing the word "more" 25 times? 25 times? just take a deep breath. what if he sings it only 24 times 'cause then he doesn't have to take such a deep breath? well, you know the whole point of this is 25%. the preferred rewards program from bank of america. get rewards you'll actually use. ♪ two words: it heals.e different? how? with heat. unlike creams and rubs that mask the pain, thermacare has patented heat cells that penetrate deep to increase circulation and accelerate healing. let's review: heat, plus relief, plus healing, equals thermacare. the proof that it heals is you. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are a a brand-new band fronted by joe jonas, and they're making their television debut tonight, performing their debut single "cake by the ocean." give it up for dnce! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ oh no see you walking 'round like it's a funeral not so serious girl why those feet cold ♪ ♪ we just getting started don't you tiptoe tiptoe ah ♪ ♪ waste time with a masterpiece don't waste time with a masterpiece oh you should be ♪ ♪ rolling with me you should be rolling with me ah you're a real-life fantasy ♪ ♪ you're a real-life fantasy oh but you're moving so carefully let's start living dangerously ♪ ♪ talk to me baby i'm going mad from this sweet sweet craving whoa let's lose our minds and ♪ ♪ go crazy crazy i-i-i-i-i-i keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean walk for me baby ♪ ♪ i'll be diddy you'll be naomi whoa let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy ♪ ♪ i-i-i-i-i-i keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean hot damn see you licking frosting ♪ ♪ from your own hands i want another taste i'm begging yes ma'am i'm tired of all this ♪ ♪ candy on the dry land dry land oh waste time with a masterpiece don't waste time with ♪ ♪ a masterpiece oh you should be rolling with me you should be rolling with ♪ ♪ me ah you're a real-life fantasy you're a real-life fantasy oh but you're moving so carefully ♪ ♪ let's start living dangerously whoa talk to me baby i'm going mad from this ♪ ♪ sweet sweet craving whoa let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy i-i-i-i-i-i keep on hoping ♪ ♪ we'll eat cake by the ocean ♪ ♪ walk for me baby walk for me now i'll be diddy ♪ ♪ you'll be naomi whoa let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy i-i-i-i-i-i keep on hoping ♪ ♪ we'll eat cake by the ocean ooh i-i-i-i-i-i keep on hoping we'll eat cake ♪ ♪ by the ocean ooh i-i-i-i-i-i keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean ♪ ♪ talk to me girl talk to me baby i'm going mad from this ♪ ♪ sweet sweet craving whoa let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy i-i-i-i-i-i keep on hoping we'll eat ♪ ♪ cake by the ocean walk for me baby walk for me now i'll be diddy you'll be naomi whoa ♪ ♪ let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy that's right i-i-i-i-i-i keep on hoping we'll eat cake ♪ ♪ by the ocean red velvet vanilla chocolate in my life confetti i'm ready ♪ ♪ i need it every night red velvet vanilla oh yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ i keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on, dnce! "cake by the ocean" is on itunes now. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ without the internet i would probably be like a c student. internet essentials from comcast has brought low-cost high speed internet into the homes of hundreds of thousands of low-income families. it lets students do homework and study at home. so far more than two million people across america have benefitted. internet essentials is going to transform the lives of families. i see myself as maybe an entrepreneur. internet essentials from comcast. helping to bridge the digital divide. my name is jamir dixon and i'm a locafor pg&e.rk fieldman most people in the community recognize the blue trucks as pg&e. my truck is something new... it's an 811 truck. when you call 811, i come out to your house and i mark out our gas lines and our electric lines to make sure that you don't hit them when you're digging. 811 is a free service. i'm passionate about it because every time i go on the street i think about my own kids. they're the reason that i want to protect our community and our environment, and if me driving a that truck means that somebody gets to go home safer, then i'll drive it every day of the week. together, we're building a better california. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to julianne moore, mark-paul gosselaar, dnce! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen, from philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. byetress maura tierney, cooking with chef john besh, featuring the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. glad to hear it. let's get to the news. "duck dynasty" star willie robertson this weekend endorsed donald trump in the presidential race.
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bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefellerlause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. just 100 days into his candidacy, rick perry has become the first republican candidate to dou
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bye-bye. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- andy samberg, carrie underwood, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 326. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. that's what i'm talking about, right there. hey, welcome everybody. [ cheers and applause ] welcome! welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is you. this is me. this is us. this is we. we're all here. thank you so much, everybody. here's what everybody's talking about. of course, this is a big night for nbc. we're all excited here, because earlier tonight was the big season opener for the nfl. that's right. football. [ cheers and applause ] did you see it? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: the patriots played their first game since the deflate-gate scandal. i don't want to say the refs spent a long time examining balls, but today, they were hired by the tsa. [ laughter and applause ] i'm gonna have to dip my hand down your pants. [ laughter ] come on. >> steve: jackpot. >> jimmy: let's get to some political news, here. yesterday, hillary clinton vowed to take military action if iran moves towards creating nuclear weapons. or if she loses to bernie sanders. either way, it's like, "fire up the drones! [ cheers and applause ] you're getting too close, bernie. fire up the drones!" i also saw that donald trump used the rem song "it's the end of the world as we know it" at a rally in washington d.c. the band did not like that. no. [ laughter ] they did not enjoy it. they responded by calling him an orange clown. [ light laughter ] you could tell that trump was pretty upset. because, the next day he came out to a different rem song. ♪ everybody hurts sometimes ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: it's sad trump. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: donald trump was also at the u.s. open here in new york this week for the big match between serena and venus williams. and he actually looked like he was pretty deep in thought. and i kept thinking to myself, "i wonder what is going through his mind there." >> this is utterly boring. i could beat serena with my eyes closed. i can see it now. here i am, playing serena. hi-ya. i'm a total pro. take that. you just lost the game. i'm the winner. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm the winner. [ cheers and applause ] "deuces." and in a recent interview, i read that trump said that he's "basically the same now as he was when he was in first grade." [ laughter ] again, that got me wondering what all the presidential candidates were like at that age, okay? so, we did some research, and we dug up their first grade report cards. check out what their teachers had to say in the comments. for instance, hillary clinton's first grade teacher wrote, "hillary is a very bright young girl. however, we discovered that, in addition to her classroom cubby, she keeps her own personal cubby at home filled with supplies that are for school only." [ laughter and applause ] she has a separate cubby. >> steve: yeah, separate cubby. i can't believe it. >> jimmy: secret cubby. next, we have jeb bush's first grade teacher. she wrote, "i love having jeb in my class. when nap time rolls around, i just ask him to speak in front of the other kids, and within 30 seconds, they're all out cold." >> steve: wow. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: isn't that interesting? we found chris christie's -- >> steve: did you really? you found chris christie's -- [ laughter ] i find that hard to believe. >> jimmy: no, we have it. >> steve: you have it? oh. >> jimmy: chris christie's first grade teacher wrote, "chris, like a lot of my students, is a growing young boy, but i have never seen anyone use a suitcase as a a lunchbox." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i've never heard of that. next, rick perry's first grade teacher wrote, "rick is one of the most polite 14-year-old boys. i'm so happy to have him back again." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: and again. >> jimmy: i'm gonna get through kindergarten. first grade. finally lincoln chafee's first grade teacher wrote, "who dis?" [ laughter ] i guess, not all of them are memorable children. they can't remember -- who dis? >> steve: who dis? that what when he was -- he was in her class, yeah. >> jimmy: a teacher wrote that, yeah. >> steve: she knew that was gonna be a phrase >> jimmy: an english teacher, yeah. hey, this is probably good advice, everybody. the u.s. surgeon general released a statement this week that said more americans should start going on walks. you know that we're setting the bar a little low when the surgeon general goes from saying we should exercise more to just stand up. [ laughter ] just once. just for one minute, just stand up. how sad is that? the surgeon general said more americans should start going on walks, and then, to everyone's surprise he added, "even if you're just going out to have a a smoke. [ applause ] any type of walking. i'm just saying any movement." that's right, he wants more walking. can we see a picture of the surgeon general? well, that's the reason why he wants more walking. [ applause ] the surgeon general's a dog. >> steve: no wonder. >> jimmy: it's a dog in a a doctor's outfit. >> steve: yeah, that's not the real surgeon general. >> jimmy: i think it is. >> steve: is it? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] check this out, you guys. tinder. you guys on tinder? like that dating app? it's adding a new super like button, so people can show they're extra eager to meet a a specific user. [ light laughter ] the company says it's a great way to know who not to go on a a date with. [ light laughter ] "i super like you. ♪ let's have a de. [ laughter ] let's meet up in this shack behind my house. you like rabbit kidneys?" [ laughter ] no. "i don't know." "tastes the same as squirrel kidneys." [ light laughter ] oh, guys, i saw that the nominees for this year's cmas were announced yesterday. they include country music superstars like kenny chesney, luke bryan, garth brooks. [ cheers ] whiskey, beer, trucks, divorce. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this is pretty funny. i read that a flight attendant on a norwegian air flight from paris to stockholm went on the intercom to congratulate a a couple that apparently joined the mile high club. [ laughter ] it got weird when people started patting the woman on the back and her husband was like, "hey, hon, where you been?" [ laughter and applause ] finally, some good news for pot smokers. [ cheers ] is there ever bad news for pot smokers? [ laughter ] >> steve: that's great news! >> jimmy: even more good news for pot smokers. colorado's tax laws are forcing the state to sell marijuana tax free for just one day. next week, on wednesday, september 16th, 2015. stoners were like "got it. tuesday, november 35th, 420? what? [ laughter and applause ] see you there, bro." we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi! well, well, well. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, we'll be talking to the republican presidential candidate donald trump! he will be here. [ cheers and applause ] that's gonna be interesting. >> steve: giant. >> jimmy: hmm? >> steve: it's going to be giant. >> jimmy: it's going to be big. >> steve: it's gonna be large. >> jimmy: it's going to be huge! [ laughter and applause ] it's pretty cool, though. he chose our show to go on. it's the first late night appearance that donald trump is doing. >> steve: it's gonna be great. >> jimmy: i don't know what's gonna go down. it's going to be fun. plus, also, from the hit show "empire", my man terrance howard will be stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] he's great. and we're going to do this thing tomorrow night. it is so cool. we have music from pharrell williams, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] a performance unlike anything you've ever seen before. it's really, really gonna be fun. if we can pull it off, it's really cool. [ light laughter ] you never know. i don't want to make promises in case we don't pull it off. they'll be like, "that was it?" "yeah, no, that -- we had something else planned." it's going to be really, really big. and also, of course, i want to remind everybody, next wednesday, we're talking with the leading democratic presidential candidate, hillary clinton. [ cheers and applause ] she will be here as well. how fun? this is unbelievably fun. we get to talk to these candidates. but first, joining us tonight, he's a good friend of the show. he is great in "brooklyn nine nine", and he's going to kill it as host of the emmy awards next weekend. the hilarious, the charming, the good looking andy samberg is here, ladies and gentlemen. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can't say enough about that dude. >> steve: he's a lovely man. >> jimmy: andy and i are gonna face off in a new football kicking game called face kickers. [ light laughter ] plus, she's a music superstar. could she get more charming, and just cooler, and just talented? she has a new album called "storyteller." carrie underwood is here. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to talk to carrie, and she's going to perform her new single for us later in the show called "smoke break." but it's not that smoke. >> steve: what? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's confusing. it's more of like a metaphor type of thing. so listen. ready? >> steve: all right. let me hear it. ♪ she said i don't drink but sometimes i need stiff drink ♪ ♪ sippin from a high ball glass ♪ >> jimmy: it's about drinking. [ light laughter ] should we call it "drink break?" >> steve: should call it "drink break" yeah. or getting fired. >> jimmy: well, i didn't get us to the other part of the song. maybe she drinks. >> steve: maybe she drinks so much and then smokes. [ light laughter ] drinks so fast like, in a a cartoon. >> jimmy: does she mean like, smoke break? >> steve: maybe. >> jimmy: carrie underwood, look -- she's the coolest. [ cheers and applause ] we really love her. you guys, football is back. that's right. [ cheers and applause ] the 2015 nfl season kicked off tonight with the pittsburgh steelers taking on the defending super bowl champion new england patriots. now, as you know, at the end of every season, they give out awards like most valuable player. but they also give out awards at the beginning of the season, sort of like the ones in high school yearbooks. like most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that. now, normally, i'd be the one to give out these awards. i don't know why. [ light laughter ] >> steve: normally, you would do that. >> jimmy: normally i would do it, but tonight, we thought we'd try something different. this time, we got nfl stars from all around the league to give out their own awards. with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show superlatives." here we go. ♪ tonight show superlatives ♪ >> i'm andy dalton, quarterback for the cincinnati bengals, and i was voted most likely to be the love child of ed sheeran and the firefox logo. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm drew brees, quarterback for the new orleans saints. i was voted most likely to be the dad dancing way too hard at a taylor swift concert. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm andrew luck, quarterback of the indianapolis colts. and i was voted most likely to his stick his head out of the car window like a dog. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm joe haden, cornerback for the cleveland browns, and i was voted black dilbert. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm nick mangold, center for the new york jets. i was voted most likely to call his junk, "mangold's man gold." [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm calvin johnson, wide receiver for the detroit lions, and i was voted most likely to play lawyer number two in a a tyler perry movie. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm joe flacco, quarterback for the baltimore ravens, and i was voted most likely to say "let's party", then stare directly at a wall for three hours. >> i'm rob gronkowski, tight end for the new england patriots, and i was voted human minion. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm ndamukong suh, defensive tackle of the miami dolphins, and i was voted most likely to laugh by blinking once. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm clay matthews, linebacker for the green bay packers, and i was voted most athletic baldwin brother. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm d'brickashaw ferguson, left tackle of the new york jets, and i was voted least likely to hear, "hey, my name is d'brickashaw, too." [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm aaron rodgers, quarterback of the green bay packers, and i was voted most likely to offer you help at the hardware store, even though he doesn't work there. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm matthew stafford, quarterback for the detroit lions, and i was voted most likely to wear suspenders and play the jug in a a mumford & sons cover band. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm joe thomas, offensive tackle for the cleveland browns, and i was voted most likely to give you a wedgie in 1948. [ laughter and applause ] >> hi, i'm peyton manning, quarterback of the denver broncos, and i was voted most likely to have to explain to a rookie what a vcr was. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go, right there. thank you so much to the nfl and to all the players that helped us with that. stick around. we'll be right back with andy samberg, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's intelligent enough to warn of danger from virtually anywhere. it's been smashed, dropped and driven. it's perceptive enough to detect other vehicles on the road. it's been shaken, rattled and pummeled. it's innovative enough to brake by itself, park itself and help you steer. it's been in the rain... the cold... and dragged through the mud. introducing the all-new mercedes-benz gle. it's where brains meet brawn. kellogg's® frosted 8 layers of wheat... and one that's sweet. for the adult and kid in all of us. ♪ kellogg's frosted mini-wheats® feed your inner kidult we'raxe daily fragrances.his, but what you wouldn't have seen is this, axe dry spray antiperspirant. why are you touching your armpit? i was just checking to see if it's dry. don't, that's weird. the first ever dry spray antiperspirant from axe. ayou can use the phone you already have. and keep your network and number, too. for up to half the cost, only on the bring your own phone plan. now get unlimited talk and text plus 5gb of high-speed data, for $50 a month. net10 wireless. rudy and i have a lot of daily rituals. namaste. stay. taking care of our teeth is one of them. when i brush my teeth, he gets a milk-bone brushing chew. just another way to keep ourselves healthy. i'll go change. no fees, 25% rewards bonus, extra interest, the preferred pricing, merrill edge online investing. -pretty solid, huh? -yeah, i agree. i actually have a bunch of other ideas, but they're not gonna fit on that board. you know, we got another side to that board. i don't see it right now. it doesn't -- it doesn't turn. can we underline some stuff, then? because none of it's really popping out. i've got this underlined in another color. are you gonna use that green marker? because it's just sitting there. you know, let's just... that's just decoration. and i am uncomfortable with the green marker. without the internet i would probably be like a c student. internet essentials from comcast has brought low-cost high speed internet into the homes of hundreds of thousands of low-income families. it lets students do homework and study at home. so far more than two million people across america have benefitted. internet essentials is going to transform the lives of families. i see myself as maybe an entrepreneur. internet essentials from comcast. helping to bridge the digital divide. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our first guest from his great run on "saturday night live" as well as his golden globe award-winning performance on "brooklyn nine-nine", which begins its third season sunday september 27th at 8:30 p.m. on fox. also next sunday, september 20th, he will be hosting the prime time emmy awards at 8:00 p.m. on fox. [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be great. we can't wait for that. please welcome back to the show, a hard working man, here's andy samberg. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: andy samberg, everyone. we love you. they love you. that's the way to groove on out here my main man. >> so smooth. so nice. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it was nice dance. good dancing there, because you said that you mentioned you saw me dancing last night. i was at the u.s. open. >> yeah, yeah. i clicked on the news feed this morning and saw jim jam jones fallon and timberlake. [ laughter ] i guess you could call it like dancing hard at the u.s. open? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? we have a clip. >> did you get it? i'd like to see it again. [ cheers and applause ] so -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. that's good. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's fun. right? >> it's -- i just -- >> jimmy: what's the problem? [ cheers and applause ] they put the song on, i didn't know -- >> i didn't think tennis could get any more white. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it wasn't that bad. >> you guys are the exact opposite of single ladies. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> you're married dudes. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, we are, we're married dudes. >> but you're still like, "put a ring on it." >> jimmy: it's not like -- you think i deejay the u.s. open? someone played it. someone played it, i go i don't know. we didn't know what to do. there were cameras on us so i just started doing the dance. >> considering that it was like, totally improvised it was pretty good. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you're like a judge on like "america's got talent" all the sudden. yeah. >> just ribbin' my bud! >> jimmy: yeah. >> classic bud ribbin'. >> jimmy: bud ribbin'. >> yeah, you and justin. my buds. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: we are, we are your buds. we love you, man. >> we're the three amigos! >> jimmy: we really are. i'm so excited for you to host the emmy awards. are you excited about this? you're going to kill it, buddy. >> thanks dude. i am excited. >> jimmy: you're going to be fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] >> i am very excited. >> jimmy: when is it? >> it's a week from sunday, the 20th. >> jimmy: the 20th. >> yeah. >> jimmy: september 20th. so it's a week from sunday, out in l.a. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so here you are in new york working hard. [ light laughter ] what's it going to be like? what's your take on it? >> i mean, the hope is that it just feels like a big old party. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we're celebrating the tv shows. >> jimmy: it should be fun like that. >> yeah. all of the actors and writers and directors. reality stars. [ light laughter ] what else is on tv? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you're right. you're right, you're right. that's good. that's good. >> that's my monologue. i hope -- i'm just going to say that again. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that'll work. yeah. but you're hard at work writing and making sure, because i got to say -- i tell this story all the time. but i will reminisce a little bit. just plug your ears. when i first met andy, you, kiv and jorm -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: were writing for the mtv awards, 2005. what were we doing? like a batman spoof? >> we did the cold open with the batman spoof. jimmy in the batmobile. we wrote that. >> jimmy: yup. it was like 3:00 in the morning or something like that? and we were working on the script. and i was just like sitting there. was i in the batman outfit? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] and i'm just, like, sitting there. and these dudes wrote it and we're working on jokes and i'm just so tired. and i was like, you know, "you guys don't have to be here. you already wrote the sketch, i'll just figure it out. i'll do the scenes. go home, get sleep." and you were like, "no, no. this is fun, it's cool." >> and what did we say, really? "eff that, jimmy!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were saying -- >> in unison. "eff that, jimmy!" >> jimmy: "eff that, jimmy." [ light laughter ] and you harmonize, weirdly. eff that jimmy. >> yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and you're all wearing the three different colored sweaters. [ light laughter ] but then i remember emailing lorne michaels that night and going, "hey, i don't know what you want to do with auditions are coming up. these three dudes are just some of the hardest working guys i have ever met." >> yeah. >> jimmy: and they looked like they were from -- brooklyn. they look like they're from williamsburg, but you're not. you're a california dude. >> berkley, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. but similar. >> it sounds almost identical. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and then so he auditioned you and the rest is up to you and you scored and now you're hosting the emmy awards. i mean, come on. >> yeah. the fairy god father, jimmy fallon. [ cheers and applause ] gave us the whole thing. what? >> jimmy: it's all right. fairy god father. >> you're like the fairy god father. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. i'm looking at -- i follow you, of course, on the twitter. >> mmm. >> jimmy: and here's what you tweeted out. it's you and the writers working hard on the emmys. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's you face down. you're planking. you're trying to bring the plank back? [ light laughter ] >> yeah. well, me and the lonely island guys were -- decided that we wanted to bring back planking, because it went away too soon, don't you think? [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's like a lot of -- >> jimmy: i think it had a good run. you think it should come back? >> i walk down the street and i'm just looking at a bunch of floppy cores. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: floppy cores? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you want people to plank more? >> more planking for surely. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: for people who don't know what planking is. >> we could show. >> jimmy: show everyone what a a plank is. >> okay. [ cheers and applause ] you got to be super firm. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> ahh! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my god, your back. your back okay? >> argh! >> jimmy: and you're 23 years old. >> look at that. >> jimmy: that's what planking is. [ cheers and applause ] #bringbackplanking. i thought of something. i thought of something. >> yeah? >> jimmy: you want to try a a double plank? >> i would love to try that, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] i'm not sure what it is exactly, but i like the way it sounds. so i'm trusting you that it's going to be great. whatever it is -- >> jimmy: i'm trying to think where i would double plank. >> it will be awesome. pretty narrow desk, but i'm sure you'll figure it out. [ cheers and applause ] oh, yeah. >> jimmy: oh good. >> planking is back! planking is back! >> jimmy: planking is back! the double plank. hey, roots, you wanna try for a a triple plank? want to do it? >> roots! roots! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: double plank. never been done on tv before. [ cheers and applause ] hey, guys when we come back, andy samberg and i are about to play a new game called "facekickers." so we will see you after the break. it's gonna be fun. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ if there's one thing the human foot has always been good at... it's unleashing great power. the is performance line just got a power boost. introducing the lexus is 200 turbo and is 300 awd v6. the is line has never been... more powerful. once driven, there's no going back. it's tough, but i've managed. crohn's disease. but managing my symptoms was all i was doing. so when i finally told my doctor, he said humira is for adults like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease. and that in clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. and many achieved remission. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. if you're still just managing your symptoms, ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, remission is possible. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we're hanging out with andy samberg. he is hosting the prime time emmy awards, sunday, september 20th at 8:00 p.m. on fox. tonight was the nfl season opener here on nbc. so to celebrate the new season, we're gonna play a new game called "facekickers." the object of the game is simple. we take turns kicking these footballs at the board upstage. first guy to smash all of his opponent's faces wins. [ cheers and applause ] andy, as our honored guest you'll have the first kick. whenever you're ready my friend. >> mm-kay. >> jimmy: good luck. >> i'm having trouble figuring out who's who but -- [ laughter ] ♪ all right. [ audience ohs ] they're nerf! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like -- some of these -- oh, you didn't know that? i like that some of these your hairs parted or you have gray streaks and some you don't. >> we all have lines. >> jimmy: yeah, rapper lines. >> you have lines like vanilla ice in the '90s. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i certainly do, man. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey stop! hey! stop it! ♪ hold on a second. >> what happened? >> jimmy: i pulled a hammy. [ laughter ] >> are you serious? >> jimmy: yeah. i pulled a hammy. i don't think i can go on. i need my back-up. ladies and gentlemen, here to save the day, please welcome carrie underwood, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: say hi to everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> wow. >> jimmy: i still have a a football, here. >> are you okay? >> jimmy: yeah. thank you for asking. just -- carrie, just go and kick away. and aim for the guy with glasses. >> the one -- >> jimmy: what are you doing? [ laughter ] >> lining it up. >> jimmy: what's going on? [ cheers and applause ] >> can't even look. >> oh, darn it. [ laughter ] hang on? >> jimmy: come on! >> did it go? >> just warm up! >> did it go? >> jimmy: all right here we go. just warming up. all right, good. don't -- [ laughter ] ♪ we were doing "the electric slide." [ laughter ] all right, go. go. >> i prefer "the macarena." >> did it go in? >> jimmy: okay. >> okay. darn it! come on! >> all right, no, don't worry about it. here we go. >> okay. oh, i get to start again. >> jimmy: that never happened. yeah, they never happened. >> hi. >> how are you? it's so nice to meet you. >> jimmy: hey stop -- hey, no. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> oh, he's the enemy. >> jimmy: all right, wait. you didn't even -- [ laughter ] no, line it up. line it up. no. >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> no. you really want me to get this. >> jimmy: no, go for it. >> what? >> jimmy: do whatever you feel like doing. >> oh god! [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: get out of here! >> it's so fun. >> jimmy: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] andy samberg, the winner. carrie underwood. >> by default. >> jimmy: we're talking to carrie underwood after the break. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ alaska. finally. the search for brown bears begins. denali highway. low on gas. pit stop. fill up. double points. yep, that's cold. tired. day 2. coffee. eggs. double points. beautiful. majestic... nothing. where are you, bear? warm. warmer. warmer. yes. wherever the journey takes you, carry american express gold. it's more than a card. it's the gear that gets it done. kellogg's® frosted 8 layers of wheat... and one that's sweet. for the adult and kid in all of us. ♪ kellogg's frosted mini-wheats® feed your inner kidult to see if they could find the guy who uses just for men. it's me. no way. i had no clue. just for men gives you a natural gray-free look in just 5 minutes. it looks really good. great looking hair made easy. just for men. ♪ (vo) you can pass down a subaru forester. (dad) she's all yours. (vo) but you get to keep the memories. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. are stacked with bacon, sweet these 100bourbon sauce,, and apparently my mom's fave, spicy sriracha sauce. eat it, don't tweet it mom. denny's big burger bash, with burgers starting at $6.99 we heard you got a job as a developer!!!!! its official, i work for ge!! what? wow... yeah! okay... guys, i'll be writing a new language for machines so planes, trains, even hospitals can work better. oh! sorry, i was trying to put it away... got it on the cake. so you're going to work on a train? not on a train...on "trains"! you're not gonna develop stuff anymore? no i am... do you know what ge is? great change comes from doing the right thing. like the radical idea that health isn't an industry. it's a cause. so we do things differently. we combine care and coverage. and believe prevention is the most powerful of cures. so forgive us for not going with the flow. we just think the flow should go with us. which makes us rebels with one cause. your health. it's from virtually anywhere.rn of danger it's been smashed, dropped and driven. it's perceptive enough to detect other vehicles on the road. it's been shaken, rattled and pummeled. it's innovative enough to brake by itself, park itself and help you steer. it's been in the rain... the cold... and dragged through the mud. introducing the all-new mercedes-benz gle. it's where brains meet brawn. iflike i love shrimp, red lobster's endless shrimp... ...is kind of a big deal. it's finally back, with as much shrimp as you want, any way you want 'em. one taste of these new pineapple habanero coconut shrimp bites, and i already want more. they even brought back wood-grilled teriyaki shrimp! yeah, you heard me: teriyaki. and really: what's not to love about... ...buttery garlic shrimp scampi? here, the sweet, spicy, crispy possibilities are as endless as the shrimp. and yeah, they're endless, but they won't last forever. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a seven-time grammy award winner and one of the biggest names in music. her latest album, "storyteller", will be in stores october 23rd. everyone, please welcome carrie underwood! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you were fantastic at that game. [ laughter ] thank you so much. >> i did not bring my best. >> jimmy: oh, you did. >> sorry. >> jimmy: where did you -- who told you that you have to step back and then toss to the side and then you did the sign of the cross and then -- [ laughter ] is that something you've seen on tv? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. well, it worked. [ laughter ] hey, congrats on everything, but i want to talk about -- so now, "sunday night football", it's here on nbc and you do the theme, you sing the theme. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and here's my question. how many times did you have to record it? 'cause like, there's different teams playing each other. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you have to throw in all the names. did you do it like 50 times? >> a lot, yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> like, i go in and record, like, the main, like, base version. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then i insert, like, the different -- they cut and paste. so i have to -- >> jimmy: so you record the whole song and leave out who's playing who? >> right. and then i go back -- >> jimmy: and then you're like -- ♪ broncos [ laughter ] >> yes, exactly. yes. ♪ and steelers [ laughter ] >> you know, you know. you know. >> jimmy: but give me one. can't you give me one? >> well, some teams are harder. >> jimmy: like, give me, give me -- >> or like names. they'll put like names of people. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> like the quarterbacks, or like a marquee player or whatever. >> jimmy: so aaron rodgers is easy. >> yeah. yeah, rodgers and manning are about to throw down or whatever. >> jimmy: roethlisberger. >> that one is impossible to use. [ laughter ] ♪ roethlisberger >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, no. >> you make it sound good, though. >> jimmy: i really do? >> please don't take my job. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. but i just say congratulations to you as well because since you've been here you had a a little baby boy. >> i did. >> jimmy: congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i have a picture of isaiah here holding a hockey stick just like his daddy. [ audience aws ] look, that's a beautiful baby right there. oh my goodness. >> he is. >> jimmy: and has the baby, i know he's clearly into hockey. [ laughter ] but is the baby musically inclined? i know you sing. last time you were here you told me your husband sings "whoomp! there it is." remember that? >> he does. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the worst. >> jimmy: he probably loves you for telling me that. >> he did. >> jimmy: and is the baby, like, a little musically inclined? >> i feel like he's interested in music. so if a commercial comes on and it's a musical commercial he's like, you know, zoned into it. >> jimmy: yeah. my daughter's really into the secret escapes woman. >> oh, yeah? >> jimmy: you know that commercial? she whispers. >> she whispers. [ whispering ] >> jimmy: i'm on a vacation. shh. [ laughter ] what? nothing honey. go away. my winnie could be watching "peppa pig," whatever, she doesn't really care. but as soon as the whisper lady is like, "i'm on vacation." [ laughter ] so now, i do it, too. i'm really into the secret escapes lady. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. she's fantastic. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we want to book her on the show. [ laughter ] but now you have a family. you have a perfect family. you got two little dogs, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, my god. how are the dogs with the baby? >> they are, they're pretty good. the one that i thought would like love him and, like, be excited around him really ignores him. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. and then the one that i was like, "oh, we're kinda gonna have to watch her. 'cause she's kinda the wildcard." and she loves him. she'll like lick his face and run away. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: licks his face and run away. what kind of dogs are they? >> a rat terrier and i don't know. >> jimmy: excuse me? >> a rat terrier. >> jimmy: oh, a rat terrier. >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. it sounded like, i thought you said roethlisberger. [ laughter ] i was like, i don't know that dog. >> that's also a dog name. >> jimmy: it's also a dog name. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. that's a very popular dog. but then your dogs are troublemakers. i want to say this. >> they are. they are naughty. >> jimmy: they are trouble making dogs. they're scary. you tweeted out -- well, i don't know. no, you know what i'm talking about? >> yeah, i do. >> you tweeted out something, your dogs locked your baby in the car and you were not in there? >> that was their evil plot or something. they got together and they -- >> jimmy: no. what happened? the dogs locked the baby in the car with the dogs? >> we were at the airport. and like you do, you gotta get your luggage. so we get out of the car. >> jimmy: yeah. >> get out the door, the car was running, the radio was on, air- conditioning's going. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we were just, you know, gonna get our luggage out of the back. and the second we shut the doors the dog, like, jumps up on -- i don't know which one it was, the little control panel arm thingy and the doors locked. >> locked your baby in the car with the two dogs. >> baby in the car, yeah. and then we spent like the next half hour trying to get to him. i was convinced, i was like, they can do it again. [ laughter ] they can unlock the door. >> jimmy: you can't train the dog to unlock the door. >> i was like knocking on it. i was like, "ace, come here! come here!" >> jimmy: ace, come on, come on. give me the paw. give me the paw. give me the paw. [ laughter ] >> ace, shake. shake. >> jimmy: shake. she was just looking at you like -- >> didn't work at all. >> jimmy: you should have whispered like the secret escapes woman. >> i know. >> jimmy: yeah, that would have worked. well, what ended up happening? that's crazy. >> my brother-in-law had to break the window. he had tools like in his truck and he came -- >> jimmy: broke the window? >> it was my mother and father-in-law's car, too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that doesn't matter. the baby's in there. what's goin' on? >> i know. i know. but it was just like -- >> jimmy: was the baby looking at you like, oh, my god. what is wrong. >> he was fine. he was laughing in the backseat. [ laughter ] nobody was in peril or anything. >> jimmy: no but still what a a crazy story. >> yeah. >> jimmy: thank god nothing bad happened there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: let's talk about the album. this is coming out october 23rd. >> yes. >> jimmy: "storyteller." congratulations on this. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's very, very fun. you're doing the song for the first time on late night television. >> yes. >> jimmy: on our show tonight. >> yes. >> jimmy: "smoke break." >> yes. [ laughter ] no. >> jimmy: let's get into it. >> though i like the theories you guys were coming up with. >> jimmy: theories? well i mean -- >> i'm drinking so fast. >> jimmy: yeah. smoke break. smoke break. but what is this now? >> well, it's like -- >> jimmy: it's about cigarettes. >> no. [ laughter ] it's definitely not. >> jimmy: i know it's not. i get it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's a metaphor. >> yeah. it's like i just need a break. >> jimmy: just gimme a break. >> like, i don't drink but, you know, sometimes i just feel like i just need, you know, need to take a minute. >> jimmy: that's all it's about. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are people really coming down on you and saying that it's about smoking? >> no. i feel like the people that have a problem with it kinda hated me anyway. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no one hates you. you're america's sweetheart. we love you here at "the tonight show." >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and you're the best. the best partner to play facebreakers with. thank you so much for doing that. you guys, "storyteller" is in stores october 23rd. carrie -- oh, you know what i didn't talk about really quick, your clothing line. 'cause i was very excited to talk about this. >> oh. >> jimmy: now, it's called carrie underwear? >> yes. [ laughter ] no. not quite. >> jimmy: what is it called? >> it's calia. >> jimmy: kids picked on you in school. calia. >> they did. they called me carrie underwear. >> jimmy: and now you showed the bullies. >> who's laughing now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. i make underwear y'all! congratulations. at dick's sporting goods, right? >> thank you. yeah. >> jimmy: that's were you can get it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you went to, you had a fashion show here at fashion week? >> we did. yeah, it was so much fun. >> jimmy: come on. >> yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever done -- you must have been to it a a million times. >> i've been to fashion shows. >> jimmy: but now this is yours. >> this is mine. i got to walk on the sta take a bow. >> jimmy: see how do that and look cool thou i feel like -- >> i did not i'm sure. [ laughter ] i was just like look at all the people and the lights and >> jimmy: yeah. >> pretty clothes. >> jimmy: you have people walked down, wear your clothes. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and then you walk out at the end and you go -- [ laughter ] >> not like that. >> jimmy: well what did you do? >> i was like excited. >> jimmy: that wasn't excited. [ laughter ] >> that was excited. that's my excited face. >> jimmy: yeah i know but -- i don't know what's what. i don't want to be too excited either. 'cause you don't want to be like -- >> i probably was. >> jimmy: that amazing. you know like -- [ coughing ] [ laughter ] >> oh god. >> jimmy: sorry. no, i have my own. thank you. >> oh, okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mine has booze in it. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: i don't want to walk out and be too excited. >> right. then you'll cough and then you'll get all weird. >> jimmy: yeah. no one got all weird. you're the one that can't -- [ laughter ] that's your problem. you walked right up to face can't even hit a football. it was the worst thing i've ever seen. >> i'm extremely athletic. >> jimmy: no, you were very, very good. [ laughter ] but i say you should come out -- you can't come out. you could mouthed words and things. you're like -- [ laughter ] >> what are you talking about? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was still talking about your clothing line, sorry. the name of your clothing line, cialis? what is it? [ laughter and applause ] i don't know. >> calia. >> jimmy: calia, yes of course. calia. [ laughter ] you guys, "storyteller" -- she's performing her new single for us after the break. we love her, carrie underwood! come on! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ this is data on a wireless network. look, a door! let's all go through it together! (background talking and yelling) when it gets busy, it can get overwhelmed. like this. a better network prepares for heavy traffic with more capacity. (zoom noises) the door is bigger! (background talking and yelling) a better network, like verizon, for instance. i'm running through a big door! we'raxe daily fragrances.his, but what you wouldn't have seen is this, axe dry spray antiperspirant. why are you touching your armpit? i was just checking to see if it's dry. don't, that's weird. the first ever dry spray antiperspirant from axe. bestest sandwich?ay footlong the biggest, you do. 'cause it's all about your choice. of freshly baked bread. tender meats, melty cheeses, and everything in between. the handcrafted subway footlong. it's got your name all over it. (sarah) wmom and dad.eed from (carter) they do stuff super fast. and now they got this new kitchen -so they're even faster. (zoe) so they can help us with our free throws. (announcer) the time saving frigidaire gallery line... with a quick pre heat. a dishwasher with four times better water coverage. and smudgeproof stainless steel that resists fingerprints and cleans easily. it's meal time in no time. from start to clean. (mom) team bus is leaving! (announcer) frigidaire gallery. our time-saving legend continues. now that's a full weekend. ♪ join in and guess the five stops they made by tweeting #altimaweekendcontest for a chance to win your own weekend adventure! car radio: with our monday morning traffic report... america! there's a new flavor from snapple. it's straight up tea. it's all natural with that brewed tea taste that will keep ya coming back for more...oh yeah! new yorkers love it and you're gonna love it too! all-natural snapple straight up tea. made from the best stuff on earth. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everyone, tune in tomorrow night. coming to talk to me about his run for the 2016 presidency, donald trump will be here tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] oh, it's going to be fun. plus terrance howard, of course. pharrell williams and thank you notes. that's all tomorrow. it's going to be good. but first -- oh, we love her. performing her new single "smoke break" from her upcoming album "storyteller," once again, carrie underwood! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ she's a small-town hard-working woman just trying to make a living working three jobs feeding four little mouths ♪ ♪ in a run-down kitchen when you never taking nothing and doing nothing but giving it's hard to be a good wife ♪ ♪ and a good mom and a good christian ♪ ♪ i don't drink but sometimes i need a stiff drink ♪ ♪ sipping from a high ball glass let the world fade away she said i don't smoke ♪ ♪ but sometimes i need a long drag yeah i know it might sound bad ♪ ♪ but sometimes i need a smoke break ♪ ♪ he's a big-city hard-working man just trying to climb the ladder ♪ ♪ first generation to go to college instead of driving a tractor never had nothing handed ♪ ♪ to him on a silver platter it's hard to be a good man ♪ ♪ good son do something good that matters i said i don't drink but sometimes i wanna ♪ ♪ pop that top take a swig and make the world stop ♪ ♪ and watch it fade away he said i don't smoke ♪ ♪ but sometimes i wanna light it up ♪ ♪ yeah when things get tough sometimes i need a smoke break yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ so here's to you and here's to when the day gets long go ahead i understand if you wanna take a load off ♪ ♪ i don't drink but sometimes i need a stiff drink ♪ ♪ sipping from a high ball glass ♪ ♪ let the world fade away yeah and i don't smoke but sometimes i need a long drag ♪ ♪ yeah i know it might sound bad ♪ ♪ but sometimes i need a sometimes i need a sometimes i need a ♪ ♪ when the day gets long whoa when the work's all done whoa ♪ ♪ when the sun sets whoa when you need to forget ♪ ♪ sometimes i need a smoke break ♪ ♪ grab that cup whoa fill it up whoa ♪ ♪ sip it slow whoa and let it all go ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are the real deal, man. oh, i love you. carrie underwood. "storyteller" is out october 23rd. we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our thanks to andy samberg, carrie underwood! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye bill de blasio. music from panic! at the disco. featuring the 8g band with abe laboriel jr. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thank you, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. let's get to the news. presidential hopefuls donald trump and ted cruz held a rally yesterday on capitol hill in order to protest obama's prop i
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get out of its on vortex. 4% yield or good business, sandy has that buy-back going, i say it's a bye-bye byehn in california. >> caller: boo-yah, captain cramer. i need your opinion on u.s. silica. >> you're down the food chain. you're buying a guppy. let me give you the great white. buy schlumberger. >> caller: boo-yah, mr. cramer. i'm confused about tpc therapeutics. >> you got one of the most speculative names in the business. why not settle in, buy cell-gene? how about jim in delaware. jim? jim? >> caller: hello. >> jim, it's cramer. >> caller: hi, jim. thanks for taking my call. you seem a lot more relaxed out west than back east. >> i'm very relaxed. i'm chill. people say i'm chill. >> caller: you smile more out there, jim. >> it's a happy place. >> caller: my question's on p.o.n. the merge didn't go through with exelon. the stock dropped around $5, now it's hanging around $23. you think it's a good buy? >> i don't think it's a good buy. that was a disaster, i have to admit. i think it's okay. i'm a dominion guy from way back. we're not done. i am in a happy place and i'm chill. let's
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bye-bye. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- kaley cuoco-sweeting, wesley snipes, musical guest, chris cornell, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 331 illinois! whoo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. hi! hello. hey, everybody. hello. thank you, guys. looking good. looking good out there tonight. hi. welcome. welcome, everyone. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight snow." thank you so much for being here. this is it. you guys are part of the show. this is what we do. this is how we do it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is how we do it ♪ uh -- ♪ it's thursday night i feel all right ♪ ♪ [ laughter ] i don't even know any other words. all right, guys, here's what everyone's talking about. of course, it's last night's republican debate on cnn. you guys see it? [ applause ] you must have saw, one of the big moments was jeb bush admitted to smoking marijuana during high school. [ cheers ] while marijuana denied having anything to do with jeb bush. [ laughter and applause ] "i wasn't anywhere near that dude. i had nothing to do with him." yeah, jeb bush admitted to smoking marijuana 40 years ago. meanwhile, ben carson admitted to smoking marijuana 40 minutes before the debate. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: "hey, man." >> jimmy: it's like brain surgery." [ laughter ] of course, jeb saying he smoked weed 40 years ago may not seem like a big deal, but to someone running for president, it can cause quite a stir. after he said it, he actually tweeted, "sorry, mom." [ laughter ] completely real. but it didn't stop there. after that, barbara bush tweeted at him, "i'm not angry, i'm just disappointed." [ laughter ] "where did you get marijuana, anyway?" to which george w. bush tweeted, "don't answer that, bro." [ laughter ] >> steve: don't. >> jimmy: to which barbara bush tweeted, "all i'm saying is nobody ever became president by smoking cannabis." to which president obama tweeted, "well, not so fast there, barb." [ laughter ] to which barbara bush tweeted, "jeb, is this why you ate so many snacks as a kid?" to which chris christie tweeted, "hey, you don't have to smoke weed to love snacks." [ laughter ] [ applause ] and finally jeb bush tweeted, "i don't care anymore. guacamole, smoke a bowl-e." [ laughter ] ♪ guacamole. guacamole. guacamole! remember, he was on the show? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i was trying to talk about putting peas in guacamole. i go, "ever try to do peas?" "no, i'd never put them in huacamole." [ laughter ] >> steve: peas? >> jimmy: peas in guacamole? actually, one of the moderators for last night's debate was a a talk show host named hugh hewitt. yep. [ laughter ] hugh hewitt. that sounds like tom brokaw arguing with his wife over who's going to do the dishes. [ as brokaw ] "hugh hewitt. i don't want to hewitt. hewitt. hugh hewitt. i don't have to hewitt." [ laughter ] there were actually a few lighter moments during the debate last night. at one point, the candidates were asked what they would want their presidential code name to be. you see that? most people answered with short code names like "gator" or "harley." but rand paul said he wanted to be -- his codename would be "justice never sleeps." [ laughter ] debate moderator jake tapper responded by saying, "that's a a mouthful." [ light laughter ] then jeb bush was like -- >> that's what she said. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, hey! hey-o! >> jimmy: no, no. you're kidding me, right? no, no, no, no. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you guys might remember a couple years ago, marco rubio had a famously awkward moment where he reached for a water bottle in the middle of a speech. do you remember that? last night, he actually tried to make a joke about that gaffe during the debate. let's see -- [ laughter ] let's see how it went. >> i'm also aware that california has a drought, and so that's why i made sure i brought my own water. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: forget water. i think he needs a life preserver. i was like, wow. most people who watched the debate complained that it was too long. that's right, it was three hours. but don't worry, if you didn't watch the whole thing because -- sorry, i read the card wrong. [ laughter ] it was three hours -- don't worry, about it, steve. it was three hours. don't worry if you didn't watch the whole thing. because here's -- i'm sorry, i'm only human. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ where do i go who have i become a loser that can't read the cue card ♪ ♪ every single night i'm doing it again i'm gonna do it again but this time i won't ♪ ♪ screw it up ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: bravo! bravo! >> jimmy: most people who watched the debate complained it was too long. it was three hours. [ laughter ] don't worry if you didn't watch the whole thing, because here's the summary of the entire debate in tonight's edition of "the gist." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> if i'm elected president. >> i will take care of. >> rich people. >> and we must. >> make sure that we have. >> medical marijuana. >> and toilet paper. >> each and every day. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: actually, as the election heats up, everyone seems to be weighing in. in fact, in an interview on "the view," dr. phil said one of the reasons donald trump is so popular is that angry americans are living vicariously through him. yeah, "the view," dr. phil, and donald trump. or as viewers call it, the bermuda triangle. [ laughter ] "that's too much! everything, too much." this isn't good here, you guys. i saw that david alan coe, the writer of the famous country song "take this job and shove it." [ cheers ] he was charged with tax evasion, owes the i.r.s. almost half a million dollars. [ audience oohs ] which explains his new song called, "uh, yeah, about that job." [ laughter and applause ] "i didn't really mean it. it's a song, so uh --" a lot of people are excited about this. nickelodeon just announced it is bringing back some of its classic '90s cartoons. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. they're even considering revivals of shows like "doug," "hey arnold" and "rugrats." [ cheers and applause ] but not "ren and stimpy." [ audience aws ] they're still in rehab. i mean, look at them. look at them, look at them. you know they're just -- and finally, a little more tv news. i read that nasa is working to create a new channel that broadcasts live video from space in super high resolution. [ audience oohs ] also super high, the people watching the nasa space channel. [ laughter ] "i think it's a rerun." we have a great show. give it up for the roots! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm very, very excited about this. i'm on the cover of a magazine. >> steve: really. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "billboard" magazine. there you go. >> steve: yeah. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a nice picture. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: great picture. i've never looked that good in my lifetime. [ light laughter ] that is a lot of airbrushing. no, that's fantastic. i'm psyched to be on the cover of this. i'm also on the back cover. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: yeah. isn't that cool? [ laughter ] >> steve: your back! >> jimmy: i want to thank jonathan ringen and ruven afanador. that's the photographer and the writer at billboard. >> steve: all that green. >> jimmy: yeah, it looks like a a "clash" album cover, doesn't it? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: go pick up your copy of "billboard" right now, you guys. you guys, it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, my man keith richards will be here. [ cheers and applause ] emma roberts will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and one of my favorite comedians, nate bargatze will be joining us. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: then next week, you don't want to miss this. here at the "tonight show," we're big fans of the show "empire." do you guys like that show? [ cheers ] it's the biggest show on tv. i love it. we've been working really hard on a parody of that show. [ light laughter ] it's called "jimpire," and it airs next tuesday night. it features a very special guest star. >> steve: ooh. [ applause ] >> jimmy: tune in tuesday for "jimpire." but first, from "the big bang theory", kaley cuoco-sweeting is here. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] caliente. >> jimmy: kaley and are going to face off in a game of "pup quiz." [ cheers ] it's a trivia game, but with real puppies. [ laughter ] plus, he's got a new series premiering next week here on nbc, we're so excited about this. the show is called "the player." wesley snipes is here. [ cheers and applause ] i love wesley. so happy for him. then we got great music. man, he sounds good tonight. did you hear chris cornell tonight? oh, my gosh. "nearly forgot my broken heart." here's what the song sounds like. ♪ ♪ nearly forgot my broken heart taking me miles away ♪ >> jimmy: that's all you get. no, that's all you get. you got to stay for the show and watch the show. chris cornell is in the house, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] "higher truth" is the record, pick it up. guys, it's time for "tonight show" hashtags. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hashtags hashtags ♪ ♪ hey, you guys are on twitter, right? you're on twitter? do you use twitter? you play with twitter? [ cheers ] well, we use twitter. thank you, sir. [ laughter ] you hear somebody just shout, "twitter! twitter!" [ laughter ] "you t -- twitter!" thank you. you guys on twitter? >> steve: twitter! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, we use it on our show every single week. so if you watch our show, you want to play along with this game that we do. every wednesday, i send out a a hashtag and i ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since school is officially back in session -- hi, college kids. hi, kids going to high school if you're staying up late. that's awesome. i went on twitter and started a a hashtag called "one time in class." and i asked you guys to tweet out a funny story that happened to you at school. we got thousands of tweets. within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u.s. [ cheers and applause ] so thank you for the tweets. now i thought i'd share some of my favorite "one time in class" tweets from you guys. here we go. this first one is from @ianwilkie, who says, "i grew a a rat-tail over the summer. in school, the girl sitting behind me cut it off the first day and said, 'i'm not staring at that all year.'" [ laughter ] >> steve: justice never sleeps. >> jimmy: this one's from @tweets4j. she says "a student fell asleep in class, so the teacher changed the clock to 3:00 p.m., shut the lights off and had the class wait outside." [ laughter ] sounds like a cool teacher. i like that one. >> steve: come on. that's a cool teacher. tweet! >> jimmy: this one's from @dorseyrinkey. she says, "i was turned around talking to the guy behind me when the rubber band on my braces snapped and landed in his mouth." [ audience ohs ] ew! [ laughter ] >> steve: boing! bing! >> jimmy: tweet! [ light laughter ] tweet! this one's from @rachelalbert. she says, "i grabbed a a sweatshirt from the dryer and put it on. when i got to school i pulled out a pair of my dad's underwear from the pocket." [ laughter and applause ] oh, my god. last one's from @iamalexgallo. i wonder who created that. [ light laughter ] >> steve: who was it? who tweeted it? >> jimmy: i don't know. this one's from @iamalexgallo. she says, "a girl was supposed to introduce me to the class. she said, 'this is alex and she's a virgin.' i was a vegan." [ laughter ] >> steve: oh! a vegan. >> jimmy: there you have it. those are "tonight show hashtags." check out more of our favorites. go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. we'll be right back with kaley cuoco-sweeting, everybody. 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[bong] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can see our first guest on the hugely popular sitcom, "the big bang theory." which returns for its ninth season monday, september 21st at 8:00 p.m. on cbs. please welcome kaley cuoco-sweeting. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much for being here. >> i am so excited. i've never been on your show. >> jimmy: i know. and i'm such a fan. i'm so happy you're here. >> you know how many times i've not like done something for the first time? like, never. [ laughter ] does that make sense? >> jimmy: yeah, no. no, it doesn't. >> first time! >> jimmy: first time not doing it. >> first time i've been on you. not on you. >> jimmy: no, on the show. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> on the show. >> jimmy: yes, on the show. >> first time. >> jimmy: first time. and welcome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i love having you on me. >> i'm so excited. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: show. i love having you on my show. >> me, too. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, no, yeah. >> you covered the boob. >> jimmy: no, i didn't cover the boob at all. >> you did a little bit. >> jimmy: no i did not. >> you did a little bit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is a great -- a a great cover. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's 31 ways -- life-changing secrets. >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> skin secrets. >> jimmy: this is what -- no, this is too much work. >> it's a lot of work. >> jimmy: "shape" magazine. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: that means you have to be in shape to be on it. >> no, no, seriously. >> jimmy: i'll never be on "shape" magazine. i'm on the size of a billboard magazine. my head is the size of a a billboard. giant face. >> amazing jacket. >> jimmy: big face magazine, yeah. >> luckily they told me this, i was going to be on the cover like a year ago. so, i had a lot of time to prepare. >> jimmy: oh, no. you always look good. >> months and months and months. this was not easy. nothing gets you more in shape than being on the cover of "shape." >> jimmy: "shape." [ laughter ] "out of shape" magazine. great cover. >> no! >> jimmy: oh, so much fun to be on "out of shape" magazine. >> that >> jimmy: what -- did you change your diet? >> i changed everything. i mean, i worked out every single day. i -- i ate so well. i mean, i'm so rarely -- i didn't -- i cut out the alcohol. >> jimmy: really? everything? >> i was proud of myself. yeah. so, i was just so hungry -- >> jimmy: did you finally get to splurge? >> yeah, so, i planned this big dinner after that shoot, actually. i had like the reservation for like me and all my friends. for after the shoot, went all day, shot, felt like, so great. and i was waiting just to go to this dinner and i get there and i ordered pasta. we had pizza dessert. and it all comes to the table. and i just stared at it and i couldn't eat it. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> i just -- it was almost like i was so full from being so hungry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> you know when that happens? >> jimmy: this is the day you're waiting for. >> no, you know, it passes you. like, it's now passed. and so, i couldn't -- i was just so hungry that i actually could not eat the food. so i said, "okay, guys, you guys enjoy. i'm gonna pack it up, at some point i will be hungry again." >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, i packed it up, went home, still wasn't hungry, went to bed. 11:00, my eyes, like, sprang open. i'm like, i'm hungry, and i ran downstairs and i ate it all by myself. in the fridge. ate all the leftovers. yeah, by myself. >> jimmy: you ate it just by yourself. >> by myself. and it was the best, because no one bothered me. i just ate it. [ laughter ] no other forks. all alone. dogs were asleep. >> jimmy: yeah, everyone was sleeping, yeah. >> like, get the hell out. yes. >> jimmy: and you're stuffing your face, everything. yeah. >> oh! >> jimmy: eating out of order. >> yeah, out of order. oh, yeah. >> jimmy: dessert. >> everything. drinks. yeah, it was great. >> jimmy: go for it. that's the best way to do it. >> i mean, all i ate was like almonds for so long, i was so hungry. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: just almonds? >> egg whites, almonds, air. >> jimmy: air is good! oh, it's the best. i know a great restaurant for air. >> great air, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there's a lot here in new york. >> jimmy: best air. oh, yeah, the greatest. >> yeah. >> jimmy: congrats on the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: ninth season. i mean, oh my gosh. >> so wild. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just the best cast. i love everybody on your show. please give my best to everybody on the show. >> i will. we had so much fun. nine seasons. >> jimmy: you really like each other, right? after nine. >> we love each other. >> jimmy: well, you have no choice. >> we have no choice. we have no choice. we have a lot of memories on the show. we take -- i take a lot of pictures. i take a lot of pictures of everyone. polaroids and lots of fun things. >> jimmy: why polaroids? >> okay, i started taking polaroids these past couple yea like these crazy iphone hackings. i'm sure you've heard of them. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, anyway, i thought it would be so much safer to take selfie-roids instead of iphones -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a catchy name. >> isn't it? >> jimmy: yeah, it really -- yeah. >> it gets you, doesn't it? doesn't it get ya? >> jimmy: so, it's selfie-roids? >> right. >> hey, nobody can hack t >> jimmy: no, they can't hack a a selfie-roid. what is a selfie-roid? i'm assuming -- >> you take my polaroid camera and you take it of yourself. selfie-roid. selfie-roid. yeah. >> jimmy: we have your camera here. >> yeah, you do. >> jimmy: and you know how i know it's your camera? >> why? oh, yeah. >> jimmy: 'cause it says, do not touch unless you're named kaley. [ laughter ] that's true. >> jimmy, that's not for you, that's for work. 'cause they steal my camera a a lot. >> jimmy: they do? >> yes, so, i had to put my name on it. >> jimmy: that's cool. i didn't know they still made polaroids. >> can you believe this? you wanna see how i do it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i know you've never seen this before. so, it worked. i sit and i go, duck face. >> jimmy: can i photo bomb? >> yeah. come on damnit! >> jimmy: hey, you're pretty -- you're pretty good at this. >> you know what, hold on, gonna work. i oh, god, if you don' embarrassed you stupid, stupid -- >> jimmy: hey, don't throw it! >> no! >> jimmy: this is the best -- oh! [ laughter ] wait, i wanna see that photo! we have to see that photo! >> no, no! >> jimmy: we have to wait -- we have to wait until it develops. >> no, i don't wanna see it. >> jimmy: 'cause i wanna see what it looks like. >> no. >> jimmy: no, don't throw that -- i wanna see what this one looks like. >> no. >> jimmy: that's the best photo ever. >> no, that was a total accident. >> jimmy: no, here's what we're gonna do. we're gonna go -- >> i'm really embarrassed that happened. >> jimmy: we're gonna come back -- do you like games? [ light laught do you like games? >> yes. >> jimmy: 'cau good. >> >> jimmy: come back we're g a g it's trivi real pu >> oh, cry. i'm so excited about the puppies. >> jimmy: it's really, cute. [ light laughter and we're gonna reveal -- we're gonna reveal looks like. it's starting to develop now. >> i'm so scared. >> jimmy: we'll be right back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ time. i'm like, huh? aren't they all the same? you know, i had to see for myself. so i went pro. with crest pro-health advanced. advance to a healthier, stronger, cleaner mouth from day 1. this toothpaste... ...and mouthwash make my whole mouth feel amazing. and my teeth stronger. crest pro-health advanced is superior in these 5 areas dentists check. this is gonna go well, for sure. advance to a healthier stronger, cleaner mouth from day 1. great check up. my sister was right. all of our legendary racing heritage. all of our pioneering four wheel drive experience. come together in one amazing new vehicle. this is the all-new gle coupe. a mercedes-benz suv with the heart and soul of a race car. found it. appliances. now we just need a guy. ♪ i got one! i got one! i'm from fertilizer... you guys want to talk about fertilizer? no. ♪ don't go it alone. sears appliance experts are here to help you find the top brands, including kenmore. sears. house experts for home owners. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: did that really happen? oh my gosh, that's funny. welcome back to the "tonight show," everybody. i'm steve higgins and we are about to play "pup quiz"! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: playing tonight, the host of "the tonight show," mr. jimmy fallon. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: and, from "the big bang theory," the lovely kaley cuoco-sweeting! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: and this is the first puppy up for grabs. [ audience aws ] mr. gary frick jr. [ light laughter ] here's how the game works. i'll be asking both of you animal trivia questions. if you answer correctly, you win a golden retriever puppy. [ laughter ] if you answer incorrectly, your opponent gets the puppy. >> oh my god. i can't take it. >> steve: the most puppies -- [ laughter ] at the end of the game -- >> jimmy: that's the cutest dog. >> steve: wins. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: oh my doggy. >> steve: kaley, you're our guest, so you'll answer the first question. and see if you win or lose gary frick jr. [ light laughter ] please don't lose me. kaley, what breed of dog is scooby doo? "a", german shepherd. "b", a bloodhound. or "c", great dane? >> great dane. >> steve: great dane that is correct! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you win gary frick jr. >> oh. >> steve: the score is one to zero. all right, the next question for you, jimmy. which of these birds -- >> jimmy: oh, i'm great with birds. >> steve: you are. [ laughter ] i'll tell you, you've given many people the bird. >> jimmy: you got scooby doo question. here we go. what bird is what? hello. >> steve: which bird is native to new zealand? "a", the whooping crane? "b", the rough-faced shag? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> steve: or "c", the brown trembler? [ laughter ] boy, take a selfie-roid with that one. >> you will never guess that. >> jimmy: i'm going to say the new zealand is a trick question here, i think it's going to be the brown trembler. >> steve: the brown trembler. that is wrong! [ buzzer ] >> yes! >> steve: it is the rough-faced shag. and mary kennedy goes to kaley. >> oh my god. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my god. >> steve: oh, look at those puppies. >> jimmy: what? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: what did you say? >> steve: i said look at those puppies. >> jimmy: no, higgins, higgins. higgins! [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, do you hear that sound? [ barking ] that means it's time for double puppardy. [ light laughter ] >> did you hear that sound? >> steve: where the questions are worth two puppies. >> did you hear that sound? >> steve: kaley? >> you didn't enjoy that sound, did you, little puppy? >> steve: kaley? >> yes? >> steve: in 2008 -- >> oh, god. >> steve: what animal was knighted by the king of norway -- >> jimmy: if you get this -- >> steve: for distinguished service in the norwegian royal guard? was it "a", a sea lion. "b" -- >> jimmy: oh my god. [ laughter ] >> steve: a horse? >> jimmy: sea lion. >> steve: oh, sea lion. oh, "a", sea lion. oh, i see. was it a sea lion? got it. thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, no problem. >> steve: "b", horse? or "c", penguin? >> it's got to be a horse. >> steve: is that your final answer? >> yes. >> steve: oh, that is wrong. it is a penguin! jimmy wins! kyle mcadams and lisa armstrong! >> jimmy: hi! >> steve: double puppy, double puppy. >> oh, my gosh. ♪ >> jimmy: hi, buddy. they smell like puppies. >> they do. they do. >> jimmy: they smell like puppies. ♪ oh my gosh, guys. you're so much better than those other puppies. >> oh, my god. [ laughter ] >> steve: all right, jimmy, this question is for you. >> oh, my god. >> steve: which of these recording artists does not have a species of wasp named after them? [ laughter ] which of these recording artists does not have a species of wasp named after them? is it "a", shakira? "b", madonna? or "c", lady gaga? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think it's gaga. >> steve: "c", lady gaga. it's wasp. >> i didn't understand the question. >> jimmy: madonna could be a a name of a wasp. >> steve: two of these people have wasps names after them. one does not. >> jimmy: shakira doesn't sound like a name of a wasp. oh, maybe it does. >> steve: one does not have a a wasp. >> jimmy: i think lady gaga would have a wasp. that would not be a name of a a wasp. >> steve: is that your final answer? >> jimmy: yes. >> steve: well then you're wrong! [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: what? >> steve: it is -- madonna does not have a wasp named after her. >> jimmy: what does she have a a bee named after her? i mean -- oh, my goodness. >> steve: roger blanton and ted moody get out here. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. ♪ >> this -- i could die. i could die and just -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my god. >> this is it. this is it for me. this is it. [ barking ] >> steve: kaley. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. >> steve: this is for two more puppies. >> i can't talk right now. >> steve: in 1947 what type of animal became the first to be launched into space? >> what do you think it is, sweety? >> steve: was it "a", rhesus monkey? >> what do you think it is? >> steve: "b", a fruit fly. or "c", a golden retriever? launched into space 1947. >> do you think it was one of you snoopy? what do you think? oh, i love you, too. oh, yes. i have the answer now. oh it's got to be you. okay, it's you, it's a golden retriever. it's got to be golden retriever. >> steve: is that your answer? >> yes. >> steve: you are very much wrong. [ buzzer ] it was a fruit fly. jimmy, you get fred winston and michelle anderson. >> jimmy: yeah. >> what? ♪ [ barking ] michelle anderson? what a name. michelle anderson. >> steve: michelle anderson. >> jimmy: fred winston, come here fred. hi. >> oh fred. oh you're a licker. hi. >> jimmy: hi guys. >> steve: oh, you know what -- [ barking ] that's the sound, means it's time for final puppardy. >> jimmy: you keep hearing the sound before the sound happens. [ laughter ] very interesting how you use that sound. >> steve: trust me. i know when the sound is going. >> hi, i love you too. >> steve: that sound means it's time for final puppardy. >> are you friendly? >> steve: this is for all your opponent's puppies and the game. >> no. [ laughter ] >> steve: pick up the boards and markers next to you. >> jimmy: stop eating the microphone. >> steve: here, i'll help you out. there you go. you'll write down the answer. >> don't worry you guys. >> steve: whoever's closest -- >> jimmy: sorry dude. >> steve: to the right answer is the pup quiz champion. >> don't worry. >> steve: here is the question. >> jimmy: okay, gotcha. >> don't worry, babies. [ light laughter ] don't worry. you won't have to go to uncle jimmy fallon. you stay right here. >> steve: how old -- how old was the oldest goldfish that ever to live? >> jimmy: uh -- you have ten seconds starting now. [ barking ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ow! >> he bit you. >> jimmy: he bit me. oh, my -- am i bleeding? [ buzzer ] >> did you write anything down? >> jimmy: am i bleeding? >> he gave you a hickey! >> jimmy: he gave me a hickey. >> oh, my god. [ laughter ] >> steve: he really bit you. >> he really got you. here, i'll take him in you want. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i see your answer 42. >> no, i didn't. >> steve: how old is the oldest goldfish ever to live? >> jimmy: goldfish, i got them from getting them at the >> steve: all right, jimmy, what did you write? >> jimmy: 20 years old. >> i put 42. >> steve: the correct answer is 43. kaley, you are the winner. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] you win all the puppies. >> jimmy: how would you guess that? >> thank you. >> jimmy: guys, our thanks to kaley cuoco-sweeting. hope you enjoy the puppies. [ cheers and applause ] >> that one's a little biter. >> jimmy: wesley snipes joins us after the break. stick around everybody. come on back. >> got me good! >> jimmy: am i bleeding? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i sure had a lot on my mind when i got out of the hospital after a dvt blood clot. what about my family? my li'l buddy? and what if this happened again? i was given warfarin in the hospital but i wondered if this was the right treatment for me. then my doctor told me about eliquis. eliquis treats dvt and pe blood clots and reduces the risk of them happening again. not only does eliquis treat dvt and pe blood clots, but eliquis also had significantly less major bleeding than the standard treatment. knowing eliquis had both... turned around my thinking. don't stop eliquis unless your doctor tells you to. eliquis can cause serious and in rare cases fatal bleeding. don't take eliquis if you have an artificial heart valve or abnormal bleeding. if you had a spinal injection while on eliquis call your doctor right away if you have tingling, numbness, or muscle weakness. while taking eliquis, you may bruise more easily... and it may take longer than usual for bleeding to stop. seek immediate medical care for sudden signs of bleeding, like unusual bruising. eliquis may increase your bleeding risk if you take certain medicines. tell your doctor about all planned medical or dental procedures. eliquis treats dvt & pe blood clots. plus had less major bleeding. both made switching to eliquis right for me. ask your doctor if it's right for you. are stacked with bacon, sweet these 100bourbon sauce,, and apparently my mom's fave, spicy sriracha sauce. eat it, don't tweet it mom. denny's big burger bash, with burgers starting at $6.99 america! there's a new flavor from snapple. it's straight up tea. it's all natural with that brewed tea taste that will keep ya coming back for more...oh yeah! new yorkers love it and you're gonna love it too! all-natural snapple straight up tea. made from the best stuff on earth. now that's a full weekend. ♪ join in and guess the five stops they made by tweeting #altimaweekendcontest for a chance to win your own weekend adventure! car radio: with our monday morning traffic report... iflike i love shrimp, red lobster's endless shrimp... ...is kind of a big deal. it's finally back, with as much shrimp as you want, any way you want 'em. one taste of these new pineapple habanero coconut shrimp bites, and i already want more. they even brought back wood-grilled teriyaki shrimp! yeah, you heard me: teriyaki. and really: what's not to love about... ...buttery garlic shrimp scampi? here, the sweet, spicy, crispy possibilities are as endless as the shrimp. and yeah, they're endless, but they won't last forever. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a talented, talented actor who stars in the new nbc drama, "the player," which premieres september 24th at 10:00 p.m. set your dvrs. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome wesley snipes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i love it. i love it. >> congratulations, man. >> jimmy: no, please. thank you. congratulations to you too. i'm so psyched for the new show. i wanna talk to you about everything. thank you for dancing on the way in. >> yeah, they're my boys over there, you know? >> jimmy: i know. >> james, quest. >> jimmy: i know. >> you my boy too, man. >> jimmy: i appreciate that. thank you. because we were talkin' backstage, you went to the high school -- you grew up in the bronx, right? is that where you were born? >> grew up in the bronx. >> jimmy: and you went to -- >> boogie down bronx. any boogie down bronx in the house? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you went to the high school of performing arts, right? >> high school of performing arts, which a lot of people went there. the school was the "fame" school. which became the "fame" school. ♪ fame! i wanna live forever ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, you got it. that was good. >> that was my audition. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. were you in -- were you in the movie at all, or no? >> no, i didn't get in the movie, man. i actually ended up moving to florida like, the year -- the year they cast the movie and started the production. so, i missed out on the whole thing. and i saw all my classmates in the show, in the film, dancing and making money and i was going to my mom's school in orlando, florida. >> jimmy: did you feel like you lost out and you go, "oh that's it. it's over for me? that was your big opportunity, mom." >> i was pretty upset about it at the time. you know? >> jimmy: but was the high school anything like the show fame? people just run around and sing and dance like? >> oh, yeah, a lot of talented people. >> jimmy: it's lunchtime! >> lunchtime would come, literally we would clear out the tables, after everybody finished eating. and we'd have a dj and the dj would come and he'd spin records and we'd actually danced while we were at lunch. >> jimmy: for real? >> for real. >> jimmy: this is great. that's so good. >> greatest school ever, man. >> jimmy: i wanna go to that school. that's so fun. >> i don't know if they still do that anymore. >> jimmy: no, no one does that anymore, do they? i don't know. do kids -- >> at lunch time. >> jimmy: yeah, at lunch time you'd have dance -- and what type of dance? >> anything. you had ballet, you had the ballet kids, you had the tapping kids, you had the street kids, the hip-hop kids. and they played a game called signs. so, signs was like eight counts, you could do a a movement. you had eight counts to do whatever movement you wanted. pop pop pop-pop pop pop bam. right? everybody had their own particular dance. and you would have to mimic their dance and pass off. if you passed off to somebody who didn't recognize their own dance, they got kicked out of the game, got kicked out of the circle. >> jimmy: really? that's a tough game. >> it's fun, man. >> jimmy: i love that. >> that's how you meet the girls, man. >> jimmy: oh, really? that's it right there. >> oh, absolutely. >> jimmy: but i didn't see you -- i didn't see you dancing in michael jackson, in "bad." in the video "bad." >> no, yeah. no, 'cause i auditioned -- i auditioned as a -- yeah, that was a moment back in the day. >> jimmy: look at that. [ cheers and applause ] that was great. >> you know. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> i'm on the wrong side. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talkin' about. yeah. how was -- how'd you get involved with that, with michael? >> i auditioned for scorsese and q., quincy jones and they -- they selected me out of, i don't know, many of hundreds of guys who auditioned. >> jimmy: absolutely. and how was michael? i got to meet him quickly once. >> michael, michael, the great michael. an inspiration to music. michael was very interesting. >> jimmy: yeah. >> very, very interesting. >> jimmy: he really was. >> he actually was a little nervous with filming in harlem, because we filmed some of the "bad" video right there in harlem. ironically on the same block we filmed some of the "new jack city." >> jimmy: really? >> he was nervous, 'cause the fans were a little ambivalent with him. some of them loved him. some of them hated him. so, you'd hear them literally yelling out, "michael jackson, we love you!" "oh my god, michael jackson, i wanna have your baby, oh my god!" you had other people going, "michael jackson, you ain't beep." michael jackson, you ain't never come back to the hood." "michael jackson, what are you doing for us?" [ laughter ] "hell with michael jackson!" >> jimmy: really? >> so, michael turned to me and he's like, "are you scared?" [ laughter and applause ] i was like, "yo, mike, what are you talking about?" "are you scared? i mean, are you scared?" i'm like, "no, mike, this is harlem, baby. this is where we grew up. you know they love you. really, are you scared?" he's like "a little." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, you helped him out. you helped him through it. >> i became the de facto bodyguard, man. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i ended up going from actor to bodyguard. it was a demotion like that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in two seconds. just for "are you scared," yeah. >> but i'd do it again any time, you know? >> jimmy: oh, absolutely. >> he's such an inspiration. such a wonderful talent. >> jimmy: let's talk about the show. 'cause we're excited here. of course it's on nbc, too. thank you, thank you, thank you for being on our network. i'm so happy. yeah. [ applause ] "the player." >> you could say we're all kind of part of the family, right? >> jimmy: that's exactly it. well, you know you're always welcome. 'cause we love havin' you on the show. >> thanks. i'll come back and do some fun stuff. >> jimmy: whatever you wanna do. you can always say "no," too, 'cause you know. >> i could never say no to you, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you, absolutely. "the player," explain what this is about. this is very interesting. >> "the player" is kind of a a high-concept drama built on a a robust action platform. so, it's conspiratorial. and it's a nail biter. >> jimmy: and it's set in vegas. >> set in vegas. and the premise is that there are super-wealthy individuals around the world who create two things. a computer system that allows them to predict crime. and also a virtual casino that allows the gamblers the opportunity to bet on the outcome of criminal activity. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> my job is the pit boss. i'm the guy who makes sure, the gamblers stay in line, the players stay in line, the dealers stay in line. and when anybody gets out of line, you already know. [ laughter ] i don't even need to say. >> jimmy: we have a clip. here's wesley snipes in "the player." >> it ain't nothin' nice. it ain't nothin' nice. >> jimmy: take a look at this. "the player", wesley snipes. crime, mr. cain. we gamble on crime. >> you gamble with people's lives. >> no, here in the house, we predict crime. we never influence it. >> did you predict the kidnapping? did you predict jimmy's death? you could have saved jimmy. >> do not. >> oh, that's the game. you don't have a strong enough hand. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, jimmy fallon, you don't have a strong enough hand. >> jimmy: michael, i'm scared, i'm scared. wesley snipes, everybody. "the player" premieres september 24th. >> nbc! >> jimmy: 10:00 pm right here on nbc. chris cornell performs for us next. stick around, everybody. 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[bong] the possibility of a flare swas almost always on my mind. thinking about what to avoid, where to go... and how to deal with my uc. to me, that was normal. until i talked to my doctor. she told me that humira helps people like me get uc under control and keep it under control when certain medications haven't worked well enough. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. raise your expectations. ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, control is possible. mother nature can turn in an instant; sfx: drum beats don't turn back. ♪ introducing the new 2016 ford explorer. be unstoppable. ♪ this is my fight song... you don't have to pick up a bafor halloween.ger maybe your house looks good... covered in toilet paper. give those monsters what they want. get your fingers on some butterfinger. davy crockett? thank you. katie, do you think i needed a fancy protein shake to wrestle all those bears? no? that's right, all i ever had to eat was meat, cheese and nuts. okay? try that. it's protein without all that mumbo jumbo... katie. here's our chance. let's take this one together. what? i got you bear! p3 from oscar mayer. it's 13 grams of protein from the original source. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this next guy can sing. he can sing, sing, sing. man, we love this guy. he's a grammy award winning singer/songwriter and the front man of three multi-platinum rock bands, including soundgarden. performing "nearly forgot my broken heart" from his new solo album, "higher truth," please welcome chris cornell! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ every time i stare into the sun trying to find a reason to go on ♪ ♪ all i ever get is burned and blind until the sky bleeds the pouring rain ♪ ♪ when you came along the time was right pulled me like an apple red and ripe ♪ ♪ wasn't very long you took a bite and did me wrong and it serves me right ♪ ♪ and i nearly forgot my broken heart it's taking me miles away from the memory of ♪ ♪ how we broke apart here we go round again again every little key ♪ ♪ unlocks the door every little secret has a lie trying to take a ♪ ♪ picture of the sun it won't help you to see the light every little word ♪ ♪ upon your lips makes a little cut where blood pours out every little drop ♪ ♪ of blood a kiss that i won't miss not for anything and i nearly forgot ♪ ♪ my broken heart it's taking me miles away from the memory of how we broke apart ♪ ♪ here we go round again every single feeling tells me this is leading to a heart ♪ ♪ in broken little pieces and you know i'll need this like a hole in the head ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ every single feeling tells me this is leading to a heart in broken little pieces and ♪ ♪ you know i'll need this like a hole and i nearly forgot my broken heart ♪ ♪ it's taking me miles away from the memory of how we broke apart here we go round again ♪ ♪ and i nearly forgot my broken heart it's taking me miles away from the memory of ♪ ♪ how we broke apart here we go round again here we go round again ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! chris cornell, ladies and gentlemen! "higher truth" is out now. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to kaley cuoco-sweeting, wesley snipes, chris cornell! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen, in philadelphia. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. byelife and pieces," actor colin hanks! music from baio! featuring the 8g band with abe laboriel, jr. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night", how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear! very good to hear! in that case, let's get to the news. the second gop debate was held last night. but first, they had to wait for parents traveling wi
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." >> bye-bye. >> the summer's hottest bikini bodies. taylor, reese, j. law.cial to save his life. inside the hospital with mini darth vader. >> focus on the things you can do instead of the things you can't do. >> his courage and parents' heartbreak. and remembering joan rivers the year after her passing. the latest in the wrongful death lawsuit. tomorrow on "e.t." >>> "the insider" from hollywood. your 24/7 celebrity conversation. >> it was just so overwhelming for me. >> bieber's redemption tour kicks off. but has the public truly forgiven his past transgressions? >> mr. bieber, you are charged with dui, alcohol and drugs. >> as justin confesses how he became a changed man. >> i just had a bunch of knuckle heads around me. >>> plus, why is stephen colbert shaking down jeb bush? >> house always gets beak wet. >>> sounds off on former client's race scandal. >> if you want to date me, some girl
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bye-bye. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- lebron james. tina fey and amy poehler. musical guest omi. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 290. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. thank you very much, everybody. thank you so much for that nice ovation. i'm not milking this thing. i just want to let you know i'm not. [ light laughter ] but i really do appreciate that. thank you for being here. you guys, welcome to "the tonight show." you're here. this is it. this is the show you came to see. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to have fun tonight. what a show tonight. oh, my god, this is so much fun. first, this is what everybody is talking about. it was announced today that iran has reached a deal with the u.s. to limit its nuclear program, and send most of its uranium to russia. and americans were like, "that's great. wait, what?" [ laughter and applause ] wait, we're sending uranium to -- did you see this also? the president of iran prematurely announced the nuclear deal on twitter yesterday before it was official. [ laughter ] which isn't that big of a deal. until you realize the guy who almost had nukes is known for accidentally hitting send. [ laughter ] the deal is tomorrow. wait, what is he -- [ cheers and applause ] why is he sending out tweets? what's going on? of course, this deal has been in the works for months, and months. and there is a lot of suspense about whether or not it would actually go through, which i guess explains how the president made the announcement. take a look at this. >> i have to ask you the question. deal or no deal? >> deal. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i mean, kind of amazing. it was good. it was exciting. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: that's right. it's been a busy week for the president. yesterday obama announced that he is commuting the sentences of 46 prisoners, most of whom committed nonviolent crimes. and then those 46 convicts we're like, "actually we already escaped. but thank you for thinking of us. [ laughter ] we really apprech. maj prech man thanks." maj prech? >> steve: maj prech? >> jimmy: maj appreciation. maj prech. and during a conference on aging yesterday, president obama praised supreme court justice ruth bader ginsburg and noted she is known as the notorious rbg. [ laughter ] and while clarence thomas is known as old flirty bastard. [ laughter ] this is everywhere. donald trump recently addressed el chapo. >> audience member: woo! [ laughter ] >> steve: is that for el chapo? >> jimmy: i don't know if it's for el chapo. i don't know. the mexican drug lord, el chapo. [ laughter and applause ] he's currently leading in the polls right now. can't technically run for president. donald trump was talking about el chapo, who is the mexican drug lord who escaped from a a maximum security prison, and trump said he would, quote, kick his ass. [ laughter ] then chris christie was like, "i call dibs on any candy that falls out of him." that's not what happened. so -- chris, no. [ laughter and applause ] that's a different thing. and yesterday on fox news, geraldo rivera was debating donald trump's latest immigration comments and things got really heated. check this out. >> it is exploiting and sensationalizing. >> from a guy who exploits and sensationalizes everything. >> are you talking to me? >> yes. >> you're lucky you're my friend. i would knock you out right now. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: even the hosts of "the view" were like, "settle down ladies." wow. actually, can we see that clip again? >> from a guy who exploits and sensationalizes everything. >> are you talking to me? >> jimmy: yeah, i can't believe we actually found a worse de niro impression than questlove. [ laughter and applause ] it's like this. [ laughter ] are you talking to me? are you talking to me? [ laughter ] this is a weird story here. police in germany are trying to find the owner of a plastic bag filled with $200,000 after it recently fell from a tree at a a local campsite. meanwhile, there's a bear in germany who is like, "guys, i'm in a lot of trouble right now. [ laughter ] i don't know who to talk to." that's right police in germany are trying to find the owner of a plastic bag filled with $200,000 after it fell from a a tree. and greece was like, "can we get like 10 million of those trees? that would be great." [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show, everybody. give it up for the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about right there. making it sing. that is saxophonist and long-time billy joel band mate, mark rivera sitting in with the roots tonight. mark! [ cheers and applause ] that's the way to do it! >> steve: yes! >> jimmy: that's the way to do it. oh, my god, mark's debut album "common bond" is out now. you can catch him on billy joel's current tour. if you go see it. this guy just knows how to do it. mark, thanks so much for coming on. >> thank you. >> jimmy: always happy to have you. >> my pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come back whenever you can, bud. we love when you are here. we have a great week of shows coming up. tomorrow night, the very funny amy schumer will be here tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] great in that movie "trainwreck." we have got something fun planned with her. be sure to tune in for that. plus music from alan jackson. [ cheers and applause ] like that alan jackson. then later this week, we have bill hader and ryan seacrest joining us. [ cheers and applause ] its gonna be fun. but first, this is the show. tonight, tonight, tonight, wow. this is the show. oh, my gosh. we have a giant show tonight. he's one of the best basketball players in the world. and now you can see him in the new judd apatow movie "trainwreck." he is hilarious in it. the king, lebron james, is here! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: that's the show. we're done. >> jimmy: that's it. >> steve: that's it. >> jimmy: no. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: there's more. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: yeah. also here tonight, two of the other greatest basketball players on the planet. [ laughter ] >> steve: i think you've got the wrong card. >> jimmy: am i reading the wrong card? no, they are two of the greatest basketball players on the planet, they're giving us a a world premier of the trailer for the big new comedy movie. super funny movie called "sisters." tina fey and amy poehler are in the house. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what? who? >> jimmy: that's both of them. >> steve: both of them? tina and amy? and lebron? >> jimmy: three nba legends. >> steve: well, that must be it. >> jimmy: three nba legends are in the house. i can't wait. and the movie looks great. the movie is written by paula pell by the way. and comedy fans know paula pell writes the goods. but, then we have what could be the song of the summer on tonight. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] this could be the song of the summer. everybody is singing this song. this is -- the song is called "cheerleader." this is omi is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] what a show, what a show, what a show. i'm so happy. you guys, time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of going to a donald trump campaign rally. he's out on the road, taking his message directly to americans, many people love him. one mexican drug lord not so much. so let's take a look at the pros and cons of going to a a donald trump campaign rally. okay. here we go. pro, watching him fire up the crowd. con, by telling them "you're fired up." [ laughter ] whatever works. that's his new slogan. >> steve: whatever works for him. >> jimmy: pro, hearing his plan on how to prevent our biggest threat from invading the u.s. con, realizing he's talking about "minions." they're everywhere. they're on t-shirts. [ laughter and applause ] they're in my happy meal. >> steve: i ordered a happy meal and there were two of them. >> jimmy: pro, he puts the us back in usa. con, he takes the h out of huge. [ laughter ] new golf course is huge! [ laughter ] solid gold golf course. it is huge. [ laughter ] pro, he blames mexicans for the loss of u.s. jobs. con, specifically, his jobs at macy's, miss usa and "celebrity apprentice." [ cheers and applause ] he's got a point. pro, trump said he'll charge mexico $100,000 per illegal immigrant. con, in response, chipotle said they'll charge trump $100,000 for guac. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? you've got to pay extra for guac. >> steve: you got to pay it. you got to pay extra for guac. >> steve: supply and demand. guac it up. >> jimmy: guac and load, man. >> steve: guac a love it. >> jimmy: pro, he wants to deport immigrants for entering the u.s. illegally. con, he wants to deport ariana grande for licking a a donut. [ laughter ] she's from america. i always lick the donut too. >> steve: how can you not? >> jimmy: it's just sitting right in front of you. put it behind glass. >> steve: tongue height. >> jimmy: tongue height, yeah. waving in front of me. a powdered donut. >> steve: what are you going to do, not lick it? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, lick it. its right there. >> steve: like it. lick the donut. it's huge. >> jimmy: it's huge. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: funkin' gonuts. >> jimmy: all right. and finally, pro, he's neck and neck with jeb bush. con, he's hair and hair with a a bicycle helmet. that's very interesting. that's the "pros and cons." we'll be right back with lebron james! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i can't find my discover card! wait, i can freeze my account. 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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> oh man. >> jimmy: welcome. oh, i'm excited. >> it's been a a while, right? >> jimmy: it's been a while. so great to have you here. they love you, i love you. everyone loves you, man. come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, thank you, thank you! it's a new type of basketball. we haven't got together, man, for a while. >> jimmy: exactly. we were playing crumpled up paper basketball. but i got injured, so, yeah. good to see you again. i've got to say also, i haven't talked to you since the whole cleveland thing but congratulations on going back to cleveland. i think we all agree, that's where you should be. [ cheers and applause ] i'm glad you went back. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: did it feel good to go back? >> it was everything i dreamed of, man. to be back with my family and my friends in that state. it was very just soothing. >> jimmy: just made sense, right? >> everyone wants to find that place and i was able to find it. >> jimmy: and they all went just nuts when you decided to go back. >> yeah, absolutely man. that's all i was looking for. they went nuts and i joined with them. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. and, of course, you made it to the finals this year, didn't make it all way, though. i'm sorry about that. >> it's all right. could have used you out there, even with one hand. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i know. my game is off. but, yeah. you said -- i was reading on facebook page, you said -- i'm in a funk right now, but how can you be in a funk when you've got kids like this. you said your kids get you out of the funk? >> yeah, they do. it don't matter how well you play or how bad you play. you know, when you get home, the kids just bring, they put a a smile on your face. and kids are very, very blunt. [ light laughter ] there's no sugar coating with kids. if you go out and you don't perform well, when you get home, "daddy, why did you lose? [ laughter ] and why didn't you play well tonight. it's your fault you lost." [ laughter ] and i was like -- are you guys -- >> jimmy: kids don't care. >> are you serious? they're like, yeah, absolutely. we want cookies and ice cream too, so let's go get it. >> jimmy: absolutely, yeah. [ laughter ] i love that. it's so good. and i saw this picture of you on vacation. >> uh oh. >> jimmy: explain this to me. >> which one? >> jimmy: explain what's happening here. [ laughter ] now this is -- that's you, right? is that not -- this is not photo shopped. that's you, right, on a giant banana? >> i don't know if that's -- that's not. someone photo shopped that. [ laughter ] that is not me. >> jimmy: that is definitely you, right there. >> yeah that's gabrielle union. that's dwyane wade, her husband. that's chris paul, the great point guard from the clippers. but -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's not me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's definitely -- yeah. >> i was back at home in ohio when this happened. we don't have water like that back home. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i wasn't riding that giant banana. you play -- you're so great in "trainwreck," i've got to say. i loved it so much. but i'm a big fan of judd apatow. those movies, "bridesmaids," thay always made me laugh. "superbad" is one of my favorites of all time. and i'm watching this -- it's great, funny, but also has heart. and i said yesterday if you love lebron james, which i do, you're going to love lebron even more. my wife is like, "how great and cute is lebron james?" [ light laughter ] he is -- and i was like, "come on, honey, you're married." and i was like going nuts. but you honestly come off so genuine and so funny and i think it's from -- i saw you first funny in the nike commercials and you played everybody in the family. >> i played four guys, myself, the old man, wise. the athlete and kid lebron. i don't know if they gave me a a kick start, but i had a great time on that set, like you said, with judd and amy schumer, who is going to be a star. bill hader. >> jimmy: you can't stop her. >> no, you can't stop her. an unbelievable time. >> jimmy: i want to show everyone a clip here. this is you talking about, cleveland, really. and here is lebron james in "trainwreck." take a look at this. >> cleveland, ohio? don't you mean the home of the rock 'n roll hall of fame? or maybe we go down to canton to the pro football hall of fame. you know superman was created in cleveland? >> yeah, no i know superman was created in cleveland. you've told me that a number of times. >> you ever see a cuyahoga sunset? >> no. >> do you know cleveland is great for the whole family? >> yes, yes, yes, i do. you told me that all of the time. you randomly just text me that. >> what's wrong with that? >> it's weird. it's weird. >> i've got free texting. [ light laughter ] >> why are you always trying to sell me on cleveland? >> why don't you ever come to cleveland? >> i'll come when i have the time. i just don't have the time right now. i'll come when i have the time. i've just been really busy. >> you visited me in miami all of the time. >> that's miami. i mean -- >> what's the difference between miami and cleveland? it's the same. [ laughter ] >> you're right, it's the same. >> exactly. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i think it's great. exactly. i would like to play a quick game with you, if you don't mind. >> but one thing. >> jimmy: sure. >> since you like "trainwreck" so much, i've got a gift for you. these right here, if you -- this is a token of my appreciation to you. [ cheers ] the shoes that i have on tonight is the "trainwreck" edition of my lebron lows that come out this summer. they're in your -- size 12? >> jimmy: yeah, size 12. >> size 12, these are yours. >> jimmy: no way. [ cheers and applause ] i'm going to put these on right now. >> got your name on them and everything. jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: i've got to put these on right here. oh, my gosh. this is unbelievable. my god. >> i don't know what you're going to do with this big bow here. you may want to remove that. >> jimmy: no, i can wear that in my hair. it will be perfect. [ light laughter ] this is my color. oh, yeah, this is going to -- i already have an advantage already. i can feel it. [ light laughter ] all right. this feels good. oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, those look good on you too. >> jimmy: yeah, i feel good. i can pull these off. they take away a little bit from the fingers. so this is good. i like this. all right. here's the way -- the name of the game is called faceketball. >> oh, faceketball. >> jimmy: okay, ready? so, it's not basketball -- it kind of is. >> okay, faceketball. so i'm trying to picture that. >> jimmy: here, put this head band on. [ laughter ] >> okay, i'm accustomed to wearing head bands. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll love this. here it is, this'll be great. >> so i put this right here? >> jimmy: yeah, put it on like that. >> okay. okay. >> audience: woo! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: those are your balls. >> okay, all right. >> jimmy: i'm going to put mine on here. no problem. i'm going to put mine over like this. >> okay. >> jimmy: now the first one to three -- and this is like two grown men should play this game, right? [ light laughter ] >> i believe that, for sure. >> jimmy: first one to three wins. and if it's a 2-0 advantage, the other person can dunk on the other guy. >> okay, sounds good. i like that. i like that. i mean, my kids ask for ipads and ipods and samsung tablets and samsung everything. no, this -- >> jimmy: get them faceketball. every kid is out there playing this game. this is sweeping the nation. all right, good. all right. let me see. you should probably sit maybe. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: alright, ready? you go first. >> okay. >> jimmy: oh. >> i've got to move it to the side. oh. [ audience oohs ] >> this is much more difficult than expected. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ oh! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. dunk off. i dunk on you and you dunk on me, ready? >> all right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at the same time? [ drumroll ] >> at the same time. >> jimmy: no, no, i gotta do one first. >> okay, you go first. okay. oh! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] oh, that was awesome. >> jimmy: you want to come off here? >> yeah, yeah. [ drumroll ] >> jimmy: oh! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> and i bent the rim! >> jimmy: lebron james, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "trainwreck" is in theaters this friday. go see "trainwreck." we'll be right back with tina fey and amy poehler, ladies and gentlemen. 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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'll need two more players to fill out this table. the first one is a multiple emmy award winner and "new york times" best-selling author. she was also my partner on "weekend update" at "saturday night live." [ cheers and applause ] say hello to tina fey, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: tina, we'll need one more player. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you brought the best one possible with you tonight. she is a golden globe award winner, she's also a best-selling author. she was also your partner on "weekend update." [ light laughter ] and on december 18th of this year, you guys are starring together in a big hilarious new movie called "sisters." here's our pal, amy poehler, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> woo! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on, this is the best. okay, everybody. here's how the game works. in front of each of us are two envelopes containing confessions. in one of the envelopes is something that actually happened to us in real life. and in the second envelope is a a lie. >> right. >> jimmy: okay. once you've read your confession, the other two people have 60 seconds to interrogate you, and they have to guess whether or not you've been lying or telling the truth. we'll take one turn each. tina, you'll go first. amy, which envelope should tina open? >> hmmm. one or two? >> jimmy: hmmm. could be either one. >> number one, please. >> okay. >> by the way, great to see you both. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: great to see you. >> very nice to meet you. [ laughter ] >> i was once mistaken for a a prostitute in monaco. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: in monaco? >> in monaco. the small country. >> jimmy: what year was this? >> 1992. >> how did you get to monaco? >> i was on a trip with my cousin visiting europe. >> jimmy: just you and your cousin in '92? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. >> you ever been to europe before then? >> yes. >> and what were you wearing? >> i was wearing -- i can tell you, i was wearing a brown and white polka dot jumpsuit that i had bought --. >> jimmy: were you in an abba tribute band? >> i bought at express. i bought at express. >> jimmy: a brown and white polka dot --. >> brown and white -- it looked fantastic. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: fantastic enough to be confused as a prostitute? >> i don't see you in monaco, either. i don't see you there. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't see -- that's funny. >> what about the sights you would see in monaco. >> jimmy: yeah, what do you see so much, you big seer. >> okay. i went to a casino there, because my cousin's from new jersey, we thought it was going to be fun like an atlantic city casino. but it was like a creepy james bond casino. and there were only 40 people in the whole place. >> jimmy: and what games were they playing? >> bacharach. [ laughter ] burt bacharach. >> jimmy: all right, burt bacharach. okay. >> let me ask you this. were you ever a prostitute in monaco? >> jimmy: no, wait, wait we're out of time. we're out of time now, here we go. now, amy, we have to decide. amy, what did you think? truth or lie? >> well, you know it's very hard, because i feel like i know almost everything about tina. but i don't know her early years as well. but i'm going to say that was a a lie. >> jimmy: i also know a little bit about you. i don't -- i don't -- i can see you going to express and getting a jumpsuit. [ laughter ] i can weirdly really see that. i don't see you going to monaco either, and getting confused -- mistaken for a prostitute. >> hmm. well, do i tell you now? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it is true. >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: what? >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: and then what happened? how did they -- >> my cousin and i -- we went to the casino, again, we thought it was going to be like bands playing or whatever. and it was ice cold just weird europeans quietly gambling. we were the youngest people there, and my cousin is really pretty. she's like blonde and really tall and i was just like with her. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were doing that? >> this is how i walked then. and we realized, i go, "this is not our scene." and this sort of, like, older gentleman came over and was like, "i would love to buy the two of you dinner in this restaurant here", and it was like a weird restaurant in the back. and my cousin is like, "yeah!" and i was like, "no, i don't think it's a good idea." and it just sort of became clear that the only possible explanation for why we would have been in there is that we were prostitutes. >> and that is where tina met her husband. [ laughter ] >> yeah. that was that, that was that. >> jimmy: it's a great story, it's a fantastic story. beautiful story. [ cheers and applause ] >> you're right. >> jimmy: all right. it's my turn. which envelope should i open, tina? >> i'm going to say number two, 'cause poop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not funny. that's not funny. >> come on, it's funny. that's funny. oh! i spilled the coffee. >> jimmy: oh no, it's all right. >> shoot. our prop. >> jimmy: poop, poop. >> our props, our props! >> jimmy: no one is believing that they're really smoking anyway. all right, here we go. in college, my friend and i were robbed by a drug dealer with a sawed-off shot gun. >> in college --. [ laughter ] first of all, what college did you go to? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: clown college. i went to college of saint rose in albany, new york. [ cheers ] >> what was your friend's name? >> uh, sean. >> that's not true. you only have one friend and his name is "gerard." >> jimmy: it wasn't gerard though. that's true, i only have one friend and it's gerard. but this guy's name was "sean." >> mm-hmm. and how did you know he was a a drug dealer? >> jimmy: uh -- i didn't. i didn't know he was a drug dealer. i was going -- i was actually going to his house, because he was going to give me a ride to the mall. [ light laughter ] so, i was just waiting in his living room, waiting for him to come out and he had some business to take care of. >> and how had you met this person? >> jimmy: he was a friend of another friend i went to college with. >> hey, huh. hey, ya got kids? >> jimmy: you're the tough cop? yeah. yes, i've got kids. >> do you ever think about them when you go to buy drugs? [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: i wasn't -- i wasn't "what was that all about"? and he goes, "sorry, dude, a a drug dealer or something like that." and he goes, "i don't want to get into it now." and i go, "oh my god. all right, i'm going to go home, man. i mean we're not gonna go to the mall." and he goes, "no, we can't, because that guy stole my car." so, we ended up not going to the mall either. that was the real bummer. that was the real bummer. >> mall bummer. >> jimmy: mall bummer. all right, here we go. amy, you are up. >> you pick. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. yeah, i'll pick. i'm going to say number one, because you guys are number one. >> thank you. >> nice. >> so are you. [ cheers ] i once helped yoko ono cross the street. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, all right, all right. wait a second. >> i find that extremely plausible. >> okay. >> jimmy: i don't know if she needs help crossing the street. that's the only reason why --. >> that's true. she's -- fit. >> jimmy: perfectly fine. >> so, what street was it? what street? >> i would love to hear her question. >> what street? >> it was 66th, like it was around the phillips club area. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: phillips club? i don't know what that means but --. >> it was, i don't know, upper west side. >> jimmy: what do you do in those clubs? >> weird for you to be uptown like that. >> look for phillips. >> well, she knows the upper west side, she lives over there, right? she owns part of central park. she knows her way around. >> uh, no, you though. what was yoko wearing? what kind of bag? >> she was wearing a black, like a jacket, and a jaunty black hat and like tiny black jeans. >> was she wearing a polka dot jumpsuit from express? did you know yoko ono? did you call her -- what did you say to her? >> i didn't know it was her, but she was in the middle of the street and she was what i thought was disoriented and i was like, "ma'am, are you okay?" and then i realized it was yoko ono. and so i kind of just like led her to the other side of the street. >> jimmy: really. yeah, yeah, yeah. and what did she say to you? ♪ >> she was standing in the middle of the street and maybe it was an art project, but i don't know. [ laughter ] this was just like three years ago. >> jimmy: all right. three years ago. okay. all right. so, we're out of time. this is a toughy, man. >> it's tough, because i feel like it could be a lie. it could be the opposite of what you did, it could be a lie that she's sold very, very well. >> jimmy: exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. but i think that you're a very nice person and you would help someone across the street. but also as a fan of art, i think you would just let the piece play out. [ laughter ] >> aw, come on! >> that means a lot to me. >> jimmy: yeah. thank you. i am such a fan of art. >> jimmy: i think of you all the time at the gallery. at the philips club. >> oh, your art blog. >> jimmy: you're always at the philips club looking at art. is art here? no, it's just phillips only. [ light laughter ] i'm going to say that's a lie. >> i'm gonna agree, i think it's a lie. >> jimmy: yeah. it's a bald faced lie. >> well, congratulations, it's a lie. >> jimmy: yeah! ♪ you tried to fake me out. >> well done. >> jimmy: after the break, we're going to hear all about tina and amy's new movie "sisters." [ cheers and applause ] and they're gonna show us a a world premiere trailer. stick around, everybody! "sisters!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] squire?! what beer may i fetch you, my lord? umm... i'll have a redd's apple ale. and perhaps a wrench. no. a wrench, a wrench. redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple. decisions, decisions. the new edge+. this one would keep me organized. i could list all the days i've been banned from social media. this one is so hd. you could see everything, even my strech marks. oh wait wait wait. this thing has built-in live broadcasting? what up youtube! introducing the samsung galaxy s6 edge+ and the note5. get the samsung galaxy note5 with jump! on demand for 0 upfront and just $25 bucks a month. only at t-mobile. layover. 24 hours. hello, reykjavik. oh, so that's how you spell it. what are you looking at? oh, cool. hungry. fish, anyone? hello, seventh waterfall of the day. hello, duck boat. hello, sheep? oh right! itchy icelandic sweaters and no foreign transaction fees. sweet. one last look. ahh. triple points. and we're off. what's next? wherever the journey takes you, carry american express gold. it's more than a card. it's the gear that gets it done. waterproofing stain. the seal you can trust. with stain and sealer in one... and easy to choose colors... exceptional beauty and protection have never been easier. thompson's waterseal waterproofing stain. available at the home depot. it was just an ordinary night. until he showed up-with a hungry look in his eyes. and then, he made the shot. and when jaws dropped ... he had something for that, too. the new spicy nacho chicken sandwich. with two tacos, halfsies, and a drink for 6 bucks. all in a munchie meal. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we are here with amy poehler and tina fey! [ cheers and applause ] amy poehler, tina fey, they're in a big new movie coming out december 18th called "sisters." we're gonna see -- in a minute, we're going to see a world premier trailer for that comedy which i'm very excited about, december 18th. first i want to know, what is your truth. because we just finished playing "true confessions." we didn't hear your truth. >> my truth was i once made out with tina while she was asleep. [ laughter ] >> that was your truth! [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's not your truth. that was your lie. that was your truth? >> that's my truth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> maybe. >> i'm stickin' to it. >> jimmy: all right. all right. i don't want to get into more of that, but -- let's just leave it there. all right. let's -- last time you guys were in a movie together, it was "baby mama." >> yep. >> jimmy: and now this is "sisters." that was back in 2008. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and now here you are in "sisters." what made you want to do this film? >> well, we -- we -- when we were in chicago, we ran into an old wizard who grabbed us -- [ laughter ] by the wrists and said if we don't make a movie every seven years we're going to turn into witches. [ light laughter ] so it's time. >> and if you like us and you like sisters and you like us playing sisters, you're going to love "sisters." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we do want this. the world wants you guys to play sisters in a movie. well, it's written by paula pell. gosh -- >> the great, great paula pell. just a hit-maker at "saturday night live" for so many years. >> jimmy: so many things she's written. she wrote the opening for the 40th with justin. >> such a funny person. and, so, yes, she wrote this movie. we play sisters. basically, we play grown sisters who are parents. and probably some of you may have had this call from your parents where parents say, "come home, get your junk out of the house, clean out your room, we're selling the house." so we go home to do that. and then, because, for various reasons -- some of which is that we're dummies -- we decide that we should probably have one more raging party in the house before they sell it. [ laughter ] but it's like -- >> yeah, it's a rager. a high school party thrown by 40-year-olds. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's great. and maya rudolph is also in it, as well. >> yes, great. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: who does maya play? >> maya plays my high school nemesis, brenda, who -- >> jimmy: brenda. >> i can't, like i can't stand brenda. and she knows why. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: brenda knows why. >> why? why don't you like me? a lot of like amazing maya vocal work. >> jimmy: brenda is a great game. >> brenda. >> jimmy: whoever came up with brenda is great. >> paula. >> jimmy: this is the world premier of the trailer for "sisters," the new comedy starring tina fey, amy poehler, maya rudolph, lots of other hilarious folks, in theaters december 18th. check this out. [ cheers ] >> put him in. >> you have to flirt. >> my sister and i are looking for a yard artisan to do some work on our bushes. >> i bet working on other people's bushes really makes you want to whack your weeds. >> that was dirtier than i thought. >> that got dirty fast. ♪ >> i thought i saw the ellis sisters. i heard you were having a a party. >> it's such a desperate event. >> that's a snazzy belt. >> thank you! >> yeah, congrats on your wrestling championship. >> it's a lot of underteeth, but i think i'm getting away with it. >> it's on backwards. [ light laughter ] >> i don't get this dress. ooh, my apples keep growing out of the bag. i like the story it tells with the fringe. >> oh. here we go. ♪ >> you are such a bad ass. >> keep going. ♪ >> oh! >> oh! >> did you fall on something sharp? >> yeah. ♪ >> he really is beautiful, isn't he? and we're -- nope. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: go see the full trailer of "sisters." go to sistersfilm.com. our thanks to tina fey and amy poehler! i love you guys. you're the greatest ever. omi performs his hit song, "cheerleader", after the break. stick around, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] is she after our liquid gold? oh, she better not be. our claim runs straight down to the glut'n free stuffin'. it's gluten. there's gold in them thar shells. liquid gold. hey! so i'm looking at my bill and my fico credit score's on here. yeah! we give you your fico credit score. for free! awesomesauce! the only person i know that says that is... lisa? julie? we've already given more than 175 million free fico credit scores to our cardmembers. apply today at discover.com who says families have to share data now get four lines. each with up to 10 gigs of 4g lte data. just $30 bucks a line it's 10 gigs for all only from t-mobile it's from virtually anywhere.rn of danger it's been smashed, dropped and driven. it's perceptive enough to detect other vehicles on the road. it's been shaken, rattled and pummeled. it's innovative enough to brake by itself, park itself and help you steer. it's been in the rain... the cold... and dragged through the mud. introducing the all-new mercedes-benz gle. it's where brains meet brawn. ♪bend the rules of what'st ♪ possible with the epic hp x360. laundry can wreak havoc on our sweaters stretch into muumuus. and pilled cardigans become pets. but it's not you, it's the laundry. protect your clothes from stretching, fading, and fuzz. ...with downy fabric conditioner... it not only softens and freshens, it helps protect clothes from the damage of the wash. so your favorite clothes stay your favorite clothes. downy fabric conditioner. wash in the wow. the world's first degree motionsense... anti-perspirant with unique microcapsules, activated by movement, that release bursts of freshness all day. motionsense. protection to keep you moving. degree. it won't let you down. america! there's a new flavor from snapple. it's straight up tea. it's all natural with that brewed tea taste that will keep ya coming back for more...oh yeah! new yorkers love it and you're gonna love it too! all-natural snapple straight up tea. made from the best stuff on earth. music: lively orchesyes! score kids never get this excited about cleaning teeth. you want a greenies? but dogs do. watch them go wild for an irresistible treat that fights tartar and freshens breath. greenies dental chews. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's musical guest has the number one song in the country right now. [ cheers and applause ] yes! making his late-night television debut, performing "cheerleader" with a little help from the roots, please welcome omi! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ooh yeah oh yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ when i need motivation my one solution is my queen cause she stay strong yeah yeah ♪ ♪ she is always in my corner right there when i want her ♪ ♪ all these other girls are tempting but i'm empty when you're gone and they say ♪ ♪ do you need me do you think i'm pretty do i make you feel like cheating ♪ ♪ and i'm like no not really because oh i think that i found myself a cheerleader ♪ ♪ she is always right there when i need her oh i think that i found myself a cheerleader ♪ ♪ she is always right there when i need her she walks like a model ♪ ♪ she grants my wishes like a genie in a bottle yeah yeah ♪ ♪ i'm the wizard of love and i got the magic wand all these other girls are tempting ♪ ♪ but i'm empty when you're gone and they say do you need me do you think i'm pretty ♪ ♪ do i make you feel like cheating and i'm like no not really cause ♪ ♪ oh i think that i found myself a cheerleader she is always right there when i need her ♪ ♪ oh i think that i found myself a cheerleader she is always right there when i need her ♪ ♪ ♪ ooh yeah ♪ ♪ ooh yeah ♪ ♪ ooh ♪ ♪ ooohh ♪ ♪ ♪ she gives me love and affection baby did i mention you're the only girl for me ♪ ♪ no i don't need a next one mama loves you too she thinks i made the right selection ♪ ♪ now all that's left to do is just for me to pop the question ♪ ♪ oh i think that i found myself a cheerleader she is always right there when i need her ♪ ♪ oh i think that i found myself a cheerleader she is always right there when i need her ♪ ♪ ♪ oh yeah ♪ ♪ oh yeah ♪ ♪ oh yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: thank you, buddy! omi! "cheerleader" is available on itunes now. we'll be right back. stick around, everybody. omi! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ it's intelligent enough to warn of danger from virtually anywhere. it's been smashed, dropped and driven. it's perceptive enough to detect other vehicles on the road. it's been shaken, rattled and pummeled. it's innovative enough to brake by itself, park itself and help you steer. it's been in the rain... the cold... and dragged through the mud. introducing the all-new mercedes-benz gle. it's where brains meet brawn. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to lebron james! [ cheers and applause ] tina fey, amy poehler! [ cheers and applause ] omi once again! [ cheers and applause ] the great mark rivera and the roots right there. [ cheers and applause ] mark, oh, my gosh. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thanks for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. byeepard smith music from blue jean committee, featuring the 8g band with jimmy chamberlin. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. the teen choice awards were last night and before you accuse teens of having terrible taste, remember who's still leading the adult's ce
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. >> bye-bye.o: the food scene in san francisco is real, and i think it's honest. david kinch: it's a great place to be if you like food and wine. michael mina: you cannot find a better city to be a chef. alice waters: if you eat beautiful, real food, and you understand where that comes from, and that you're really nourished by it, and you think differently about the world. [music]
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bye-bye. had to have that in there. that was perfect. that's it for now. thank you for joining us tonight. i'm ernie anastos. for all of us in studio 5 and our control room, we thank you so much for being a part of our broadcast. have a great night. see you tomorrow. terms of endearment. russ: you look like a bubula.
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. >> bye bye.e will see you tomorrow. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- justin bieber. salman rushdie.
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>> bye-bye. >>> tonight, donald trump under fire at this house. you will hear what one of his supporters said about muslims and the president. and trump's response causing an uproar. hillary clinton wasting no time. tonight, judge for yourself. >>> the outrage tonight. this moment recorded on video. the police officer, the baton. >> he's just a kid. >> and then the take down. outrage on both sides. >>> we have breaking news tonight in the case of baby doe, followed by tens of millions. the toddler now has a name, and what we know about her mother. we'll take you to the news conference. >>> the air scare. more than a dozen passengers injured after their plane hits severe turbulence. >>> and an abc news exclusive. the two high school football players, and that moment on the field. blindsiding the ref. the players right here tonight. >>> good evening. it's great to have you with us on a friday night. we begin with the controversy over that moment at a donald trump event. what was said about muslims and president obama. the republican front runner, li
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john: i think the donors are saying bye-bye. mark: coming up, a former romney adviser. we will borrow his brain to talk about his new book. is about football and his dad. and more about the republican party, the debate, and where the nomination stands. all that after this word from our sponsors. ♪ john: our guest tonight is a veteran republican strategist. he is also the author of this book, "the last season," about college football. we will talk about the book in the next segment but for now we are taking advantage of your being here to talk about the republican nomination. you worked for george w. bush. let's look at jeb. big moments from last night's debate. >> you know what? as it relates to my brother, there is one thing i know for sure -- he kept us safe. [applause] i don't know if your member, donald. remember the rubble? you remember the firefighters? that the clear singer united states would be strong and fight islamic terrorism, and he did keep us safe. john: you are proud of your family, just as i am. -- >> you are prone of your family, just as i am and your
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. >> lindsay graham, bye bye. pataki. >> i'd say pataki.
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he's just saying bye-bye. thankfully it doesn't look like he hit anything or anybody else. >> it looks he hit an island. >> might have run over there. i don't know. but the biker has the last laugh. >>> you guys remember a hot wheels track that was called crisscross crash? >> this here is the hot wheels crisscross crash set. to avoid the high speed crash on a figure eight track. >> check out this juken video in indianapolis. this is the 2015 world figure eight three-hour enduro race. look at the madness here. i can't imagine the stress of driving in this race. >> oh, my gosh! >> oh! >> how do you do three hours in this? >> i guess you've got to have the nuts to drive on through and time it just right. some of the other cars are too sheepish. they stop. >> did anybody crash? >> yes, gayle, there was a small incident. surprisingly not at the crisscross. over on the side somebody got into it. but in the opening four minutes of this race, nobody smashes into each other. >>> a newly formed well was kryptonite for d
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bye-bye boehner." [ applause ] boehner was third in line from the presidency and the second-most powerful man in washington, rising to the position of speaker with, by all accounts, the culmination of a life-long dream for the ohio congressman, so he must have been sad to step down. here he is after the announ ment. >> it's a wonderful day. [ laughter ] >> seth: i would say he's glowing, but remember, he always looks like that. so why is boehner so happy to be walking away from a job he worked his whole life to get? because it finally dawned on him that it's the worst job on earth. there are two wings of the republican party, the far right wing that believe obama must be stopped at any and all cost, and the father right wing that believes the same thing but are louder and crazier bout it. and it was that farther right wing the drove boehner out. and to be clear, boehner is no moderate. he blocked immigration reform and scheduled more than 50 votes to repeal obamacare. yet despite his conservative credentials, here's how the voters ummit reacted when resignation. th eaker boehner announced he will be resigning. >> audience member: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's how n.a.s.a. reacted when they found out matt damon was still alive on mars. [ laughter ] can you imagine being as conservative as boehner and not being conservative enough? he must feel like the riddler the day the joker showed up in gotham. "but i also hate batman. yeah but so does he, and he's a [ bleep ] lunatic about it." [ laughter ] one of the conservatives pressuring boehner to shut down the government this time was ted cruz who celebrated boehner's resignation on the campaign trail. boehner was asked how he felt about cruz on "cbs this week." and let's see if he took the high road. >> i'll refer you to my remark at a fundraiser i made in august in steamboat springs, colorado. >> you called -- i believe the word you used was "jackass." referring to -- [ laughter ] >> i'm referring to that same remark. >> all right. [ light laughter ] >> seth: "i'm referring to that same remark." it's like entering a burn into the public record. "you called him a jackass?" [ trump voice ] "that is correct." [ laughter ] "would you like to amend the statement?" [ trump voice ] "i would like to add a 'suck it.'" [ laughter ] >> seth: so republicans didn't get along with boehner. but that doesn't mean democrats did. nancy pelosi was asked how she felt about boehner yesterday on cnn. here she is. >> are you going to miss him? >> well, i am -- [ laughter ] know one thing, my -- i respect my colleagues. [ laughter ] there was also no love lost between boehner and the president, who had very different styles. boehner said of his negotiations with obama in 2013, quote, "all you need to know about the differences between the president and myself is that i am sitting there smoking a cigarette drinking merlot, and there is the president of the united states drinking iced tea and chomping on nicorette." you know, if you're going to put someone down with an iced tea and nicorette comment, maybe leave out the merlot on your end. [ laughter ] also, cigarettes and merlot? are you a congressman or joy behar on vacation? [ laughter ] so to recap, boehner and pelosi don't get along, boehner and obama don't get along, boehner and his own caucus don't even get along. who does boehner get along with? well, the better question is not who, but what. because there is one thing john boehner does love, and that is mowing the lawn. here is an actual video his office posted last year. [ light laughter ] >> i love green grass. [ laughter ] >> seth: you guys. he loves green grass. and who can blame him? because unlike an extreme right wing of your own party, when grass gets out of control, it's legal to cut that [ bleep ] down. [ light laughter ] so it doesn't seem like boehner's resignation will make things anything better in washington. and in fact, they'll probably get worse. but one person who won't have to worry about it, john boehner. and lets tip our cap to a politician who resigned not because of a scandal, but because he realized the job sucked so much, all the merlot in the world couldn't get him through it. this has been "bye-bye boehner." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night!" [ cheers and applause ] huh, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. yeah, everybody knows that. well, did you know that playing cards with kenny rogers gets old pretty fast? you got to know when to hold'em. know when to fold 'em. know when to walk away. know when to run. you never count your money, when you're sitting at the ta... what you get it? i get the gist, yeah. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. we're all familiar with this, axe daily fragrances. but what you wouldn't have seen is this, axe dry spray antiperspirant. why are you touching yo fiur armpit? i was jst checking to see if it's dry. don't, that's weird. the first ever dry spray [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. real quick, give it up for the 8g band, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] also, with us on drums this week, chloe saavedra is j
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