right now let's gather by the campfire light and sing this song all: kikiwaka hanging out with someone new then falling out of a camp canoe what's that smell? it's on your shoe all: kikiwaka got a s'more in my hair mosquitos in our underwear shower's broke but we don't care all: kikiwaka this is our home away from home away from home away from home (roaring) but watch your back a bear just ate my phone all: kikiwaka, kikiwaka all: kikiwaka, kikiwaka all: kikiwaka, kikiwaka emma, you got lucky. when the stick chose me, it nailed me right in the mouth and i had to get a whole new set of teeth. wanna hold 'em? thank you, but no. i don't know why people are so excited about a stick. just once i wish the spirit stick would choose me. hazel: i choose you. hazel, are you under the bed? i'm everywhere. get used to it. hazel, we know you're here to steal the spirit stick. she does it every year so she can become the guardian. what? no! i'm just here for an impromptu under-bunk inspection. and, you failed, emma! see ya, xan, through your window. xander, you might wanna invest in some curtains. and a taser. hey, ravi, let's go

the original camp kikiwaka rules! these were written by our founder, the famous fur trader, and summer camp enthusiast, jedediah swearengen. and many of them still apply today. except, i hope, for the rule about leech-based medical treatments. now, you cits, it's your job to issue a citation any time you see a camper break a rule. and any camper that receives three citations must be punished. remember, rules are the only thing that hold this place together. that and what state inspectors called a dangerous amount of duct tape! five dollar bribes don't go as far as they used to. hey, kid, don't lean on that railing! (all gasping) i guess i should see if she's okay. right after i make sure our insurance is up to date. at school, they called me rulebook ravi. (chuckles) (chuckles) they also called him joan of narc, narc wahlberg, tattle royale... okay, i think they get it! sheesh, you can not remember my birthday, but you can remember every insulting nickname i ever had. i feel like i'm forgetting one. (gasps) oh, yeah. t