caramel works. payday. crunchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. to help pay for her kids' ice time, -before earning 1% cash back... -guys! -everywhere, every time... -close the front door! and 2% back at the grocery store, even before she got 3% back on gas with no hoops to jump through, katie used her bankamericard cash rewards credit card to stay warm and toasty during the heat of competition. that's the comfort of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you. chocolate and marshmallow meet... [ grunting ] ...inside a graham crackery shell. new krave s'mores. chocolate marshmallow. yum yum! a short word that's a tall order. up your game. up the ante. and if you stumble, you get back up. up isn't easy, and we ought to know. we're in the business of up. everyday delta flies a quarter of million people while investing billions improving everything from booking to baggage claim. we're raising the bar on flying

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caramel works. payday.runchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. ♪ ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ i'm ten feet tall ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ i'm ten feet tall ♪ ♪ i'm ten feet tall my tell 'em babe...how shemes doesn't solve the crimes. don't call babe ? we're not together. what? i have your lipstick all over my rim. look, this morning was great... it was, it was amazing, but it's over. over like, over...joyed? look i'm from new hampshire you're a beverage. sarah, i'm having a weird day. alright we're done. break up with lingering food. ding! this is such an us fight... it's such an us kind of fight. for that just brushed clean feeling... ♪eat, drink, chew orbit [cheers and applause] >> jon: here at the "the daily show" as the news organization we strive to cover the issues of greatest consequence to you the american people. health care, the economy, aging, penises. but only rarely -- [laughter] -- do we find a story that encompasses all of th

caramel works. payday.peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. a short word that's a tall order. up your game. up the ante. and if you stumble, you get back up. up isn't easy, and we ought to know. we're in the business of up. everyday delta flies a quarter of million people while investing billions improving everything from booking to baggage claim. we're raising the bar on flying and tomorrow we will up it yet again. executive director of pew research. his new book is called the next america. please welcome paul taylor. sir. [cheers and applause] nice to sigh. >> good to be here. >> jon: so this is boomers, millennials the looming generational showdown. i gotta say, i don't think it's much of a showdown. i feel like the millennials are younger,. i think they are healthier. they are probably stronger. [ laughter ] i have a feeling they are going to be very capable of kicking our asses. and here is the other thing they are living with mom and dad so

caramel works. payday. crunchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. [ male announcer ] the exceedingly nimble, ridiculously agile, tight turning, fun to drive 2014 smart. ♪ ♪ gonna grab some afternoon delight ♪ [ male announcer ] you know what time it is. it's happier hour at taco bell. enjoy one dollar loaded grillers or any one dollar medium drink from 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm every day. [ bong ] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight fox news' senior judicial analyst recently did a segment about him after he made president's day talks there about our 16th president. >> i am a contairn on abraham lincoln and bemoan the fact that he has been myth i iologized. at the time he was president slavery of dying a natural death. it was dying in england and southern slave owners were on the cusp of it dying here. instead of allowing it to die or even purchasing the slave and freeing them which would have cost less money than the

rich, chewy caramel rolled up in smooth milk chocolate. all aboard. rolo. get your smooth on. it's red lobster's lobsterfest! all promotions! the year's largest selection of lobster entrees, like lobster lover's dream. hurry in and sea food differently. go to red lobster.com for ten dollars off with purchase of two lobsterfest entrees. ♪ [ whirring ] [ cracking ] [ wind howling ] a new mint flavor that intensifies as you chew. new 5 ascent gum. stimulate your senses. new 5 ascent gum. all the goodness of milk, all the deliciousness of hershey's syrup. why get delivery, when you can have digiorno? delivery or digiorno. now with a flavorful new sauce, digiorno's rising crust pizza is better than ever! thankfully it's not delivery, it's digiorno. [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. hey. so anyway if you like me, if you are like me you watched that last segment and you just were like (bleep). [ laughter ] you were really mad and hard not to to be mad when you see it laid out like that, like just a lot of time spent on for some reason i cannot figure out making poor people

>> sea salt caramel came from the franchise stores. >> really? decided this was something the customer wanted and they went out and experimented? >> we get many of our great ideas from our franchisees. yes, they experimented with it, the customers loved it, and we tested it. it has been a hottest new flavor in a long time. >> how do you measure success any ice cream business, by volume? how much do you sell? does aboutage store $310,000. is on therage, that high-end. and then we look at comp sales over the prior year. >> i know that people will be looking for this now, and it might not even last out the hour. thank you very much, jim sahene of bruster's ice cream. coming up, a restaurant is empowered -- is not powered by food and location alone. it's all about the people you hire. inside the menu of charlie byrd to my next. ♪ >> this next segment may be the only way you can get into this restaurant, at least for now. it's one of the hottest in the country, and if you want a table, you better book a month in advance. it's charlie birds, and it's h

caramel works. payday.delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. ibm watson can analyze terabytes of data. to help operators quickly find answers to a caller's question. soon, watson will help transform customer service. let's build a smarter planet. can read 10 million in 15 financial reports.n so planners can recommend better investments. soon, watson will help improve financial planning. let's build a smarter planet. >> that's it for the report, everybody, good captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> t's 11:59 and 59 seconds. this happened on tmz.com today! justin bieber got deposed and he he was an enormous douchnoble about it. >> i don't have to listen to anything you have to say. >> i object. >> guess what? ( laughter ) ( booing ). >> what are you booing me for? he's the ( bleep )! ( laughter ) ( applause )

caramel works. payday.and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight she is a professor of social policy law and women's studies at brandeis university. she was a witness in clarence thomas' senate confirmation hearing. her experience is chronicled in "anita." >> i loved working on age descriment -- discrimination cases or gender and the myment areenal. that's why i went to the eeoc. at the time i moved the behavior had stopped. that's all i wanted. people misunderstand that harassment is about the sex it's really about control and power and abusing it. >> jon: please welcome to the program anita hill. [cheers and applause] how are you? [cheers and applause] so thank you so much for joining us. it is hard to me to believe this was -- the clarence thomas hearings were over 20 years ago. >> right, almost 23. and, as i say i've live every day of those 23 years. some of them easier than others. when i start

caramel works. payday.and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. >> that's our show. here it is your moment of zen. >> buongiorno. >> stephen: tonight church attendance has fall en, i say wait three days t will rise again, and my guest neil degrasse tyson of the hayden planetarium and host of the science series cosmos, i'll remind him that in this studio the universe revolves around me. daylight savings time started this weekend and i finally won the fourth month

caramel works. payday. crunchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. here it is your moment of zen. ♪ thank you for captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: oh, hey! welcome to the report, everybody! >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen. >> stephen: thank you so much. welcome to the report. thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen, in here, out there, all around the world. mr. and mrs. america, and all the ships at sea. folks, you can feel the electricity in the room right now. necessarnow. this is our last show before we take a week off for spring break. i am going to miss you but i have no choice because my doctor says i need to load up on vitamin bacardi. that's good old alcohol-- safe and effective when administered orally. but first, tonight, i want to talk to you about marijuana. or as the kids-- ( cheers ) yeah, yeah,

caramel works. payday., roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. ♪ switch to t-mobile we'll pay your family's early termination fees matt kenseth, what are you doing here? well, i do know a little about toyotas being #1. [ wife ] we're here to buy a camry. good timing. great choice. it took me to victory lane seven times last year. can i get you to sign something? sure. oh. can you write "you 'da man?" [ male announcer ] during toyota's #1 for everyone sales event, get 0% apr financing for 60 months on a 2014 camry. offer ends march 31st. for more great deals, visit toyota.com. yeah!! yeah!! [ male announcer ] toyota. let's go places. grareal ginger. real taste.e. yeah!! yeah!! real ahhh amour best pizza yet,out the all-new hand tossed. well we hear you america and to return the love we're bringing back our 10 any pizza deal. for a limited timeet,out that's any pizza,tossed. any crust, any toppings even specialties for 10 bucks! pizza hut. m

our special cookie is cascaded with caramel and cloaked in chocolate. you never wondered? [ whoosh!] [ glass breaks ] aah! [ male announcer ] try both. pick a side. twix. [ male announ♪er ] try both. switch to t-mobile we'll pay your family's early termination fees an entirely new menu created with your busy schedule in mind. pronto lunch starting at $6.99. handmade italian sandwiches, flatbreads, and our signature soup and salad. starting at $6.99. and all served "pronto!" at olive garden. the next time you rent a dvd, don't bother rewinding it. the way i see it, it's the next guy's problem. oh, larry. she thinks i'm crazy. mm-hmm. but would a crazy person save 15% on car insurance in just 15 minutes? [ chuckles ] [ male announcer ] 15 minutes for a quote is crazy. with esurance, 7½ minutes could save you on car insurance. welcome to the modern world. esurance. backed by allstate. click or call. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. to my ongoing coverage of black history month. of course, a sad and repulsive chapter of black history is the ku klux klan. las

caramel works. payday. crunchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. ♪ ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ i'm ten feet tall ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ i'm ten feet tall ♪ ♪ i'm ten feet tall it's an invitation to stop and savor the unmistakable taste that reminds us that life is delicious. ♪ switch to t-mobile we'll pay your family's early termination fees >> welcome back, everybody, thanks so much. nation, you know, i don't think there's any other way to say it and there is absolutely no sugarcoating it at this point. cable news rates are rapidly declining. i saw that on cnn which is why nobody heard about it. and no one has been more affected than hln formally hone as headline news. 67 like how kfc was normally known as -- >> recently they announced a surefire way to bring in the youth. because hln will reformat and rebrand in 2014 to become the first tv network for the social media generation millennials, and the millennial minded. yes, now hln wil

caramel works. payday.elicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. so i get invited to quite a few family gatherings. heck, i saved judith here a fortune with discounts like safe driver, multi-car, paperless. you make a mighty fine missus, m'lady. i'm not saying mark's thrifty. let's just say, i saved him $519, and it certainly didn't go toward that ring. am i right? [ laughs ] [ dance music playing ] so visit progressive.com today. i call this one "the robox." now you can create your own perfecat olive garden, with our new cucina mia menu, for just $9.99. choose the homemade sauce that tempts you the most. like our addictively creamy garlic asiago, devilishly spicy diavolo or garden-fresh primavera with roasted vegetables. all made from scratch and made to order. served with your choice of our new artisinal pastas including gluten free. new cucina mia is all about flavor, all about you, and all just $9.99. at olive garden, we're all family here. [cheers and applause] >>

caramel works. payday.ted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. to help pay for her kids' ice time, -before earning 1% cash back... -guys! -everywhere, every time... -close the front door! and 2% back at the grocery store, even before she got 3% back on gas with no hoops to jump through, katie used her bankamericard cash rewards credit card to stay warm and toasty during the heat of competition. that's the comfort of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you. i've been claritin clear for 6 amazdays. at the first sign of my allergies, my doctor recommended taking one claritin every day of my allergy season for continuous relief. 21 days! 28 days of continuous relief live claritin clear. every day. is here -- without all the hassle. bud light lime straw-ber-rita is perfectly mixed with a refreshing twist of bud light lime. just pop, pour over ice and enjoy. and now try new mango and raz-ber-rita. just pop, pour over ice a

caramel works. payday. crunchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. when you can have digiorno? delivery or digiorno? delivery or digiorno? digiorno. now with a richer, more flavorful new sauce made with more herbs and spices... digiorno's rising crust pizza comes fresh from your oven and is now better than ever. thankfully it's not delivery, it's digiorno. nestle. good food, good life. matt kenseth, what are you doing here? well, i do know a little about toyotas being #1. [ wife ] we're here to buy a camry. good timing. great choice. it took me to victory lane seven times last year. can i get you to sign something? sure. oh. can you write "you 'da man?" [ male announcer ] during toyota's #1 for everyone sales event, get 0% apr financing for 60 months on a 2014 camry. offer ends march 31st. for more great deals, visit toyota.com. yeah!! yeah!! [ male announcer ] toyota. let's go places. >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. national, you

caramel works. payday.nchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. but that grand slam looks so good. girl: mom, with 18 options to choose from, there's over 300 combos under 550 calories. man: kid's a genius. girl: dad, it says it right here on the menu. man: oh. woman: hey, welcome to denny's. with delicious quality ingredients. like hickory ham... that's right baby. ...and our buttery seasoned crusts. then we add hot. because hot makes everything better. [ ding! ] [ female announcer ] better taste. better quality. ♪ hot pockets! [ female announcer ] better taste. better quality. transferred money from his before larry instantly bank of america savings account to his merrill edge retirement account. before he opened his first hot chocolate stand calling winter an "underserved season". and before he quit his friend's leaf-raking business for "not offering a 401k." larry knew the importance of preparing for retirement. that's why when the

caramel works. payday.sted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. [ male announcer ] throughout his life, pint-sized point guard nate robinson has always taken on big things. he's never been intimated by big things. in fact... he embraced them. so, for nate robinson, taking down taco bell's biggest, most ultimate steak taco was no big deal. but you are not nate robinson. the new xxl steak crispy taco, with double the steak in a xxl shell. regular size for nate robinson. xxl for you. [ bong ] ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that's it for the report everybody. good night! captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". [cheers and applause] my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight jim demint a former senat

caramel works. payday.soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. here it is your moment of zen. ♪ thank you for captioning sponsored by comedy central

caramel works. payday. crunchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. but that grand slam looks so good. girl: mom, with 18 options to choose from, there's over 300 combos under 550 calories. man: kid's a genius. girl: dad, it says it right here on the menu. man: oh. woman: hey, welcome to denny's. [cheers and applause] >> jon: hi, everybody welcome back. my guest tonight former republican senator from the great state of south carolina current it will president of heritage foundation. his new book is called "falling in love with america again." please welcome back to the program jim demint. sir -- [cheers and applause] >> thank you so much for joining us again. the book is called falling in love with america again. sir, i have to ask -- how can we win you back? what can we do? how did you fall out of love with us? do you feel like we took you for granlted? do you feel like -- what was it that made you feel like the magic was gone? >> well

enjoy our caramel and coconut girl scout cookies flavor. now available in powder. nestle. good food, good life. and better is so easy withrning you cabenefiber.o something better for yourself. fiber that's taste-free, grit-free and dissolves completely. so you can feel free to add it to anything. and feel better about doing it. better it with benefiber. [ male announcer ] the rhythm of life. [ whistle blowing ] where do you hear that beat? campbell's healthy request soup lets you hear it in your heart. [ basketball bouncing ] heart healthy. [ m'm... ] great taste. [ tapping ] sounds good. campbell's healthy request. m'm! m'm! good.® campbell's healthy request. save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.ould yep, everybody knows that. well, did you know the ancient pyramids were actually a mistake? uh-oh. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. >>> welcome back. the army is dropping sexual assault charges against brigadier general jeffrey sinclair under a new plea agreement. sinclair is expected to plead to lesser charges when

caramel works. payday.hicken enchilada melt at subway. wait a minute. the fritos go on the sub? really? you got to taste it to believe it. [ male announcer ] one bite, and you can't resist. i love the crunch. [ male announcer ] with tender pulled chicken, authentic enchilada sauce and fritos corn chips on top... it's the whole enchilada and then some. ♪ cruncha muncha fritos on my sub ♪ ♪ new fritos chicken enchilada cruncha muncha on that. subway. eat fresh. crthere's a new metert. in network speed. sometimes for small audiences. sometimes for a full house. we perform solos, improvs, even miracles. with over 50% more awarded and highly rated appliances than anyone else, sears helps you perform your best by giving you the best. like kenmore, the most awarded brand in the industry. sears. performance starts here. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. welcome back. our first guest is an emmy award-winning actor and writer. her latest film "muppets most wanted" opens in theaters on march 21st. la

caramel works. payday.elicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. before earning enough cash back from bank of america to help pay for her kids' ice time -before earning 1% cash back... -guys! -everywhere, every time... -close the front door! and 2% back at the grocery store, even before she got 3% back on gas with no hoops to jump through, katie used her bankamericard cash rewards credit card to stay warm and toasty during the heat of competition. that's the comfort of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you. >> that sour show here it your moment of zen. >> it's clear to me that putin not only has the upper hand from a to z, but he's enjoying himself. putin is the big bad russi >> stephen: tonight, an inovation in beauty products. you won't believe what they're squirting in rabbits' eyes now. then, are copyright lawsuits getting out of hand? unfortunately, the answer to that question has been trademarked. ( laughter ) and my guest theaster g

enjoy our caramel and coconut girl scout cookies flavor. now available in powder. nestle. good food, good life. >>> welcome back to "early today." for more now on the possible breakthrough in the search for the missing malaysian jet, cnbc's matt taylor joins me live from sydney. what more are you hearing from australian authorities this morning? >> well, frances, what we're hearing is that one of those royal australian air force planes that was dispatched to that new search area, little bit south of where the australian authorities had already been looking for that plane, has been unable to locate any debris. and we're also hearing that the conditions there as the rain and also visibility not helping with the search at this point in time. i would also now be approaching darkness in that part of the indian ocean, so it is likely we're not going to get any more word out of authorities, at least for the time being. of course, where this debris may sit is in a very inaccessible area, in the indian ocean. authorities saying it is about 2,500 kilometers or about 1500 miles south

caramel works. payday., roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. [ sneezes ] [ male announcer ] you may be an allergy muddler. try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. and zyrtec® is different than claritin® because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. zyrtec®. love the air. [ sneezes ] what? [ male announcer ] ...is rewashing. so we reimagined the dishwasher with an industry first: 102 spray jets. why 102? that's why. ge. reimagining home. little jack's finally ditching the training wheels and hopping on a big boy bike. wait a second. this is the ride of his life. we can do better than an 8-megapixel picture. that's what i'm talking about. a full-hd, 13-megapixel camera with drama shot. atta boy jack. this ride just got 4 times sweeter. i think we know which one of these photos is going to gramppy and nana. ♪ the full-hd, 13-megapixel galaxy s4 with drama shot. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a fou

and it gets all caramelized and gold like and it tastes like bacon, basically.e salt on it to pull up the sweet and have a little savory with it. >> jimmy: instead of bacon bits, you use onion. >> i use onion, and i just keep it in the refrigerator and then any time i'm eating something, i'm like, what does this need? a dollop of shallot gold and it changes everything. >> jimmy: congratulations on this, it's super rad. cameron, bought a book for everyone in our audience. [ cheers and applause ] you're the greatest for doing that. oh, my gosh. >> he actually was giving me a a thank you. >> jimmy: guys, when we come back, we'll be doing a dance bit that involves this. cameron diaz and i are dancing after the break. come on back, everybody. ♪ [ "find you" by zedd plays ] [ male announcer ] when you're ready to turn up your night. turn to bud light platinum, the next generation of smooth. brewed with top-shelf ingredients for a bold, slightly sweet finish. ♪ yeah you always make me go... ♪ [ male announcer ] turn up your night, and make it platinum. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male ann

caramel works. payday.ome together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. do you really think brushing is enough to keep it clean? while brushing misses germs in 75% of your mouth, listerine® cleans virtually your entire mouth. so take your oral health to a whole new level. listerin®... power to your mouth™. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a music icon who will be on the road in support of his latest album "spirit you all" starting april 12th in hanover, new hampshire. and on june 13th, he's performing a special duo show with our very own questlove at town hall right here in new york. >> that's right! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: playing his classic "drive" with a little help from the roots, please welcome, bobby mcferrin! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ay, ay, ay-ay, ay, ay ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay ay, ay, ay-ay, ay, ay ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay ♪ [ scatting ] ♪ gonna get in the car drive away drive so far no one's gonna find me ♪ ♪ put my foot on the gas accelerate drive so fast no on

enjoy our caramel and coconut girl scout cookies flavor. now available in powder. nestle.e was a matted messiley in a small cage. ng day. so that was our first task, was getting him to wellness. without angie's list, i don't know if we could have found all the services we needed for our riley. from contractors and doctors to dog sitters and landscapers, you can find it all on angie's list. we found riley at the shelter, and found everything he needed at angie's list. join today at angieslist.com but we're not staying in the kitchen. just start the slow cooker, add meat and pour in campbell's slow cooker sauce. by the time you get home, dinner is practically done. and absolutely delicious. everyone is cooking with new campbell's slow cooker sauces. i've been claritin clear for 7 days. and absolutwoohoo!icious. at the first sign of my allergies, my doctor recommended taking one claritin every day of my allergy season for continuous relief. 16 days! 26 days of continous relief. live claritin clear. every day. >>> here's a look at today's forecast in some cities around the cou

caramel works. payday.runchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. still running in the morning? yeah. getting your vegetables every day? when i can. [ bop ] [ male announcer ] could've had a v8. two full servings of vegetables for only 50 delicious calories. >>> you're with "bbc world news" with me nik gowing. i have the latest headlines. crimea's divided region will go to the polls in 10 days's time for a referendum to decide whether it will become part of the russian federation. kiev says the move is unconstitutional. >>> russian troops remain in the crimean region continuing their blockade in the black sea. >>> libyan government says gadhafi's third son has been extradited from niger where he claimed asylum following the revolution of 2011. you can see here that he had his head and beard shaved before being returned to libya. he is accused of shooting protesters and other crimes when he was head of libya's special forces. i asked in

which is weird, because i would have guessed caramel and nougat. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey! whoa!ey! >> jimmy: how could i -- why was there -- >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: oh! [ laughter ] how many licks does it take to get to the center of a chris -- that's what they were saying. [ laughter ] i don't know. >> steve: you're just wondering. you don't know, you're asking. >> jimmy: i'm just asking. >> steve: because you're curious. >> jimmy: thank you. [ laughter ] some more political news. president obama is in saudi arabia today, meeting with king abdullah. joe biden called president obama and said, "be sure to give my best to king abdullah and his wife, paula abdullah." [ laughter ] no problem, joe. take care, buddy. lose my number, buddy. here's some good news for obama, though, the white house just announced that more than six million people have signed up for obamacare. >> mark: make that six million and one, jimmy. >> jimmy: mark, you signed up for obamacare. that's great. >> mark: it sure is. this is the best dating site that i've ever used. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, what? >>

also with us folks from the chinatown area and executive director vincent and caramel who's with sales force and with that we'll get started. so with this affordable housing crisis we need to not only continue to invest in the creation of new affordable units but really must protect our xoif housing stoke our rent control units that will close a loophole in the ellis act who are currently not loorntdz it authorizes legislation to let san francisco decide whether or not to require a 5 year ownership of the property before a landlord can use the ellis act. it was created as a result of a states supreme court decision in the 45 that says landlords don't have the right to evict all folks the cowered said you could sell your building the legislature respond to create a statutory right to leave the business of affordable housing. but it's been abuseed but those who are not landlord and don't intend to be landlords. we've seen american people increased of the ellis act in the past year and 3 hundred units of affordable housing have been lost. and many more, of course, have left their homes as

oh ♪ i'm ten feet tall ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ i'm ten feet tall ♪ ♪ i'm ten feet tall rich, chewy caramel milk chocolate. all aboard. rolo. get your smooth on. it's built to be as fast as it is strongor advil. and fights pain at the site of inflammation. advil has the strength and speed to help you move past pain. advil. make today yours. for what reality teaches you firsthand. in the face of danger, and under the most demanding circumstances. experience builds character. experience builds confidence. and experience... has built this. introducing the 2014 glk. the engineering and the experience of mercedes-benz. see your authorized dealer for exceptional offers through mercedes-benz financial services. [cheers and applause]& >> jon: welcome back. you know, there's a morning cable news show for every american. for the heartland conservative there's fox and friends. [ laughter ] for ameriians waiting at the dmv, there's cnn's new day. [laughter] but if you want the inside scoop on washington's power players look noofurther than msnbc's morning joe. >> i'm sorry, jon, let me stop you right t

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caramel works. payday.eet energy. payday. fill up and go. turn to bud light platinum, the next generation of smooth. brewed with top-shelf ingredients for a bold, slightly sweet finish. ♪ yeah you always make me go... ♪ [ male announcer ] turn up your night, and make it platinum. ♪♪ yeah you always make me go... ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: at the end of that interview with ian mckellen, i leaned in and he just fake talked. he went ya, ya, ya, ya, ya. [ laughter ] because he thought that's what talk show hosts do. [ laughter ] our next guest plays street-smart detective erin lindsay on the nbc series "chicago p.d." let's take a look at a clip. >> what the hell is going on around here? >> voight, just let it go. >> what about the bet? >> well, technically, you did lose. >> he buried the footage, didn't he? got it. i guess i'm not paying for dinner. >> it's probably better we just keep it professional, right? >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: i bet they're not going to keep it professional for long. please

caramel works. payday.s caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. this is the car i fell in love with! picking up my new malibu! no way! it's the chevy open house event look at joe's new truck where the price you see is the price you pay. nope that's me, alright! my equinox! from our house to your house it's time to take home an award winning chevy now during the chevy open house event , get this well equipped 2014 chevy cruze lt for under nineteen grand. find new roads at your local chevy dealer. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> our first guest is an emmy and academy award nominated actor who stars on the fox show "rake," which airs fridays at 8:00 p.m. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome greg kinnear. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks. >> jimmy: greg kinnear, everybody. oh, my gosh, welcome to the show, buddy. >> thank you very much. good to be here. >> jimmy: i was actually doing a little research on you before the show, and i found out that your middle name is buck. >> that

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caramel works. payday.delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. berry pomegranate mio. do i just squirt a little? or you can squirt a lot. ...really changes your water. it changes everything. [ male announcer ] mio. squirt some. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: welcome back, everyone. we're here with the one and only billy joel right now! [ cheers and applause ] one of my favorites. you're the best. uh, you're one of my all-time favorites. i'm just -- even to get to talk to you i get a little nervous. but to sing with you is the craziest thing, so i came up with an idea where maybe i could sing with you. if you want to do this. >> sure, yeah. >> jimmy: okay, good. so this is what -- i have this ipad app. okay? it's called a looper. and what it does is it loops your voice. i was thinking maybe if we did this if we do it right we could be a two-man doo wop group. >> yeah? >> jimmy: yeah. so i hooked these microphones up into it. so what, like, we can do like kind of

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you want to take out the caramel.to pour it all over. ♪ >> so, now this is your chocolate pretzel with a little hint of caramel on the inside. we'll put this in our sheet pan right here. now we have our ganache nice and melted. not too hot, not too cold. we pour it on top. so now we've got some chocolate marshmallow. yummy. that i've melted. so we put the pretzels on the chocolate ganache and we take crystal sugar. big, coarse. and then that goes on top. >> and now? >> and now you have to eat one. >> cheers. >> yea! ♪ >> it is very good. >> so good. no wonder they call you the treat wizard. i get it now. >> enjoy. >> those look awesome. >> those are so good. they make those with gluten-free cereal for those with a gluten allergy. they ship all over the country and i sent some to my cousins. she loves crispy rice treats. >> here comes nole with a little surprise. can you see this at home? >> congratulations. >> how do they do that, by the way? >> they do all kind of cool stuff. >> if you missed the top of the hour, thi

caramel works. payday.come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. [ sneezes ] [ male announcer ] you may be an allergy muddler. try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. and zyrtec® is different than claritin® because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. zyrtec®. love the air. [ sneezes ] ♪ n the first day you take it. ♪ your current deviled eggs, they got enough devil? the one-of-a-kind, creamy blend of sweet and tangy. miracle whip and proud of it. one of the best things about is that millions of people will qualify for financial assistance. for example, if you're a single person making less than $46,000 a year, or a family of four, earning up to $94,200, you may be eligible for premium assistance. the lower your annual income, the greater financial assistance you will receive. get answers, and get covered. find out if you're eligible and enroll now. at coveredca.com. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." i'm here with my guest neil degrasse

caramel works. payday.cious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. ♪ [ girl ] my mom, she makes underwater fans that are powered by the moon. ♪ [ birds squawking ] my mom makes airplane engines that can talk. [ birds squawking ] ♪ my mom makes hospitals you can hold in your hand. ♪ my mom can print amazing things right from her computer. [ whirring ] [ train whistle blows ] my mom makes trains that are friends with trees. [ train whistle blows ] ♪ my mom works at ge. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: our first guest tonight has a lot going on. he stars in the hit tv show "the following." gosh, i love that show. and this year marks the 30th anniversary of one of his most beloved films, "footloose." [ cheers and applause ] which reminds me, i should quickly mention that dancing has been outlawed here at "the tonight show." [ boos ] guys, it says so right here and -- dancing's outlawed. it's official, i mean, it's a a bummer, but rules are rules. [ boos ] oh, shut up! [ laughter ] we have to follo

caramel works. payday.d peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." so yesterday was the first day of lent, where practicing catholics give up one vice for 40 days. however, in recent years, it's become an opportunity for everyone to try and break a bad habit. here at "late night" we were able to get on you hands on a few things people would be giving up for lent this year. ♪ [ laughter ] >> give it up for lent! [ cheers ] >> seth: our first -- we'll start with the pope. recently the pope has signaled he's open to change on issues like birth control, female priests and gay rights. let's see what he's giving up for lent -- catholicism. [ laughter and applause ] up next, we have academy award winner matthew mcconaughey. that man just won an oscar. let's see what he's giving up this year. the third "all right." [ laughter ] well, certainly something we know he values, so best of luck. now we

caramel works. payday.gether to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. turn to bud light platinum, the next generation of smooth. brewed with top-shelf ingredients for a bold, slightly sweet finish. ♪ yeah you always make me go... ♪ [ male announcer ] turn up your night, and make it platinum. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a best selling author, a a two-time grammy nominee and a a very, very funny comedian. you can see his latest stand up special, "tragedy plus comedy equals time." april 6th on comedy central. and it's available right now for preorder on amazon. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome patton oswalt! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: patton oswalt." >> that was "the magic clap. >> jimmy: nice to see you, pal. >> the was the that was the coup, "the magic clap." one of the best songs ever. >> jimmy: you love that one. >> yes. >> jimmy: i never heard of that band. >> oh god, the coup, the coup. they're the -- boots riley, he's the best. >>

werther's original chewy caramels. >>> "20/20" returns. with "does mother really know best?"eporter: las vegas prosecutors have charged amy bessey with seven felonies including conspiracy to commit the murder of robert bessey, her husband of 18 years and father to 7 children. the case making national headlines. >> amy bessey is charged with plotting to kill her husband in a drive-by shooting with her brother and her son carrying out the crime. >> reporter: as the trial begins the prosecutors come out swinging. >> hell hath no fury as a woman scorned and that fury is the rage that she felt against her husband robert bessey. >> reporter: they tell the jury that they now have evidence amy had hatched schemes to off her husband not once, not twice but -- >> she tried at least three times. >> reporter: what follows is a parade of would-be and wannabe assassins. >> there may be no stronger evidence than witnesses coming forward and saying, "yeah, amy bessey wanted me to kill her husband. and tried to get me to do it." >> reporter: enter courtney smith -- michael's ex-girlfriend. sh