now finally, the shocking truth about cartman's lineage will not be seen tonight so that we can brings hottest action stars, terrance and phillip in the... ladies and gentlemen, before you today sits a murderer. on the night in question, this monster entered the home of dr. jeffrey o'dwyer and struck him repeatedly in the head with this hammer. that monster is sitting right over there and his name is terrance ! ( farting ) terrance, you farted in court. yes, phillip, i'm making a case for our defense. all of these things link terrance to the murder. hair fibers, blood samples, nail clippings, a piece of his shirt, a watch with his initials on it. a day planner with the murder scheduled. a haiku called "time to kill dr. jeffrey o'dwyer". "dr. o'dwyer, time to have your head smashed in with my new hammer." terrance, you may be a famous surgeon, but you're not god ! terrance. would you like a "monkey claw", phillip ? yes, please. ( farting ) ( laughing ) that's called the "monkey claw" because it feels like my colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys. the "monkey claw" is smelly

cartman's got the bus schedule all figured out. - hold on, i'll be right back. mom, dad!r is no, kyle! - agh! my parents said i can't go. - well, of course your parents said you can't go! - dummy! you don't ask if you can go! i'm telling my parents i'm staying at stan's house, stan's telling his parent he's staying at kenny's house, and kenny's not telling his parents anything 'cause they're alcoholics and they don't care. - yeah! - oh... well, now i already told them. - well, i guess you're screwed then. - no, it's all right. just give me some time to work on them. i'll see you guys later. but what if i do a bunch of chores around the house? come on, you're being unfair! - all right, fine, kyle, you can go to the raging pussies concert if you clean out the garage, shovel the driveway and bring democracy to cuba! - what's cuba? - a communist country run by a dictator named fidel castro. - and do i have to shovel the whole driveway or just the side the car's on? - the whole thing. - oh, geez. dear, mr. castro, my name is kyle. i am an 8-year-old american boy who lives in s

and porters and there's this old association of those jobs cartman and porter with the freemanship which was a status in new york that entitled people to the right to vote. and so one of the things that i see is that black folks are are really conscientious about. mmm trying to respond and be very direct like to make arguments in terms that would have made sense to and been legible to people in positions of power. the the people who had denied black people particular rights black folks were saying, you know what we have actually done the things that entitled other people to those rights white new yorkers could be entitled to vote if they had done various kinds of labor to support or to contribute to their communities black books are saying you know, what? hey, we've actually done a lot of labor here and elsewhere and we've served in the military, etc, etc to contribute to this community and therefore we should be entitled to the same rights as other folks. one of the things that i think is distinctive one of the things that i that that sticks out to me as as something that is so on the o

let's see, mm, eric cartman? - here. [all laugh] - all right, and how about stan marsh?? - oh, oh, dude, you know when you're laughing so hard that the milk comes out your nose? oh, man. - dude, you weren't drinking any milk. - huh? - you have to be drinking milk for that to happen. - not with me, man. - all right, look, why don't we skip roll call? here's what we're gonna do today. i've been told that one of your classmates has been ill for several days, kyle broflovski? - he's faking. - well, i've been told that in mr. garrison's absence, our activity for the day is to make a get-well card for kyle, so i've got this large piece of poster board, and we're all gonna come up and use glitter and glue to decorate it. all: aw. - he's faking. [children chattering]

are you okay, cartman? yeah, i'm good. how are you, kyle? they're all gonna pay.ess, won't we? oh, yes. we'll find out today at recess.

- too bad cartman's missing this.p. - wait, wait. - i know what's gonna happen, mom. you want to know what's gonna happen? - keep looking, terrance. the forensic evidence is right around here. [straining] [farts] [laughing] - [farts] [laughing] - whoa, that totally surprised me! i can't believe how this show manages to stay fresh. huh, mom? - yes, sweetie. - mom, can you go make me a toaster-pastry- chocolate-mix-butter bar? - oh, honey, why don't you go make it yourself? mommy's expecting some company. - god, i have to do everything around here. ♪ you'll never find... ♪ [humming] ♪ no matter how you search ♪ ♪ someone who loves you tender ♪ ♪ like i do ♪ [humming] ♪ i'm not braggin' on myself, baby ♪ ♪ but the-- ♪ what the hell's going on? - uh, sweetie, your friends wanted to have a talk with you. - eric, your friends and your family are all concerned about your weight, m'kay? - what? - we believe that you might have a problem. - you're god damn right i have a problem. terrance & phillip is on, and i don't have anyw

- what the hell's wrong with cartman? - he's fat and he's stupid? for one tooth. - dude, every time i lost a tooth, i only got a quarter. - i only got a jar of gefilte fish. - well, that doesn't matter, because i have an idea that is totally tits. - totally what? - look, i don't know why the tooth fairy's being so cool to me. maybe she's hot for me. i don't know. but if we all chip in with teeth, then i can hide them under my pillow, and we can get enough money to buy a sega dreamcast. together: sega dreamcast? - all we need is teeth. - i already lost all my baby teeth. - me too. - mm-mm. - you still have baby teeth, kenny? - no way! - kenny, think about it. don't you want a sega dreamcast? - [mumbling angrily] - all right, kenny's in, you guys! tits! [bell ringing] - okay, the string is tied to kenny's tooth. you ready over there? - almost. you ready, timmy? - timmy! - when i say go, you slam your electric wheelchair into high gear. okay, timmy? - timmy! - right, you're timmy. - timmy, labalayah! - [muffled] - i'll tell you why it has to be you, ke

is eric cartman real and he got a meeting with the governor?hey do talk to the parents instead of putting them in that system. i don't see justification for this at all. kat timpf folks. thank you for joining me. >> that was fun, let's do it again tomorrow. i'm lawrence jones. i'll be here tomorrow at 7:00 p.m. do you know who is next? tucker carlson. stay tuned. ♪♪ >> tucker: good evening. welcome to "tucker carlson tonight." things change fast but it's our job to keep track. it wasn't so long ago our taste making class decided that andrew cuomo of new york was the single greatest governor in american history. reports who covered him swooned blushing in his presence. people who pass out emmys gave andrew cuomo an award just for holding press conferences. for a moment there, andrew cuomo was "the man" they told

- cartman, what the hell are you doing? - i'm milking the dog.ow to do it. red rocket, come on, dog, red rocket. oh, hoo! - whoa, cool! - that's awesome! - i told you guys. - i had no idea dogs made milk. do it again. - dumb-ass, you can only milk a dog once every few hours. it doesn't work if you beat off a dog again right away. - you "beat off?" - that's what it's called when you milk a dog, beating it off. don't you guys know anything? - wow, you learned all this from the 5th graders? - yeah, i guess they thought we were cool, so they showed us how to do it. hey, come here, dog. dog, come here. heh-heh-heh. - i was really happy with this month's book. i agree with what bob and linda said-- - mom, dad, you got to see this! - not now, stanley. this is mommy and daddy's book club night, remember? - but it's super cool! - later, sweetie. anyway, i found myself enticed by steinbeck's imagery. - the first chapter alone was filled with poetry. - oh, wasn't it? i mean, the first sentence... - red rocket, red rocket! - "cannery row in monterey in calif

officer here criminally we have seen a with rodney king i mean ninety's many many years ago eric cartman other cases there was video evidence of what happened and those officers walked with a slap on the wrist all walked free without any consequences whatsoever so it is hard because of course the whole system of policing in the united states is very specific and the protections for police offices are immense this is changing right now that is also a result of the george floyd case or the case against their children now and the death of george floyd that is that politicians police departments are under pressure to change the law to change accountability laws for police to make it easier to go after these so-called bad cops we know that the city of minneapolis settled a lawsuit with the floyd family and paid 20 $7000000.00 now we know it's impossible to put a figure on the life but do we know how they came up with the sum of $27000000.00 and do we know why was this an else before the trial. all we know is that it was negotiated and apparently very well negotiated the lawyers of the floyd f

mole-- goldman stanley, cartman stacks trying to figure out how much of that 20 billion-dollar blowupe i guess taken or have to be swallowed by some of these big banks. last night they said their profits will be hurt by this, but liquidation self stock quickly goldman sachs may not be that big of a deal for them, but the fact that $20 trillion is not a big deal, compare that to long-term management 2000 when the blowup affected the entire market and global economy, but i think this time around people are trying to figure out what happened with a certain stocks. stuart: if the ship has been dislodged and goldmans says it's not that bad, that's why the dow jones has come back a little. susan: morgan stanley 4%, i mean, these are monstrous block trades they are trying to unload and these are leveraged margin trades three to five times the money this fund has someone has to to take the hit. stuart: look at southwest. boeing. why are we showing you this? boeing is doing very well. we have southwest putting in a firm order for 349 max jets over 10 years, that's a huge order. @least worth $1