you seem to suggest that if the character in the book, cem, had had an active father, throughout hisn different and he might actually have struggled to find his own voice more. i wonder if you feel that about this your very self. i am influenced by my father first because he had a good library and he was continuously reading books but never telling me that you have to read this, you have to read that, just being an example without doing anything and also my father — this is more important — my father's heroes were not as in most of the time in turkey, soldiers, bullies, religious notables, political notables, statesman. but my father's heroes were jean—paul sartre or albert camus or other fashionable but deep philosophical authors of the time and i thought, i have to be like that. but he never said to me, "you have to be like that." in the end, in those years, i was raised to be a painter, the family, everyone around me, when i went to primary school, said, "oh, he has so much talent, he will be a painter." i thought up until the age of 22, i would be a painter in the future but as i