charlie sheen was great on it.us show. >> jimmy: a guy who likes charlie sheen touched your vagina today? that's not good. >> i should have known better. and yet it was a wonderful experience. >> jimmy: and what better segue into "the lego movie." >> agreed. >> jimmy: is this -- this is a children's movie. >> it's for kids. i'm known for my work with kids. >> jimmy: tell me what this is. you built this? >> i thook photo with my phone. there's my character, unikitty. >> jimmy: half unicorn, half kitten. >> she has a little horn but she's a kitchen. and her little friend snail. >> jimmy: you built this? >> well, yeah, i did. they sent me a bunch of lego -- i learn that you're not supposed to say lego. the plural of lego is lego. >> yeah, like lego my lego. >> jimmy: it doesn't seem like they should be allowed to make that decision. it seems like we should make that decision as a society. >> i've been told. now i really feel strange about it. i've always said legos. >> jimmy: it is legos. i don't care what they say. >

tonight, jay welcomes -- charlie sheen. comedian joy behar. and the music of neon trees. and now, jay leno! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: hi, guys. thank you. thank you very much. welcome to the "the tonight show." well, let's see what's going on. how about this? in a new interview president obama said he doesn't think marijuana is any more dangerous than alcohol. how about that? [ applause ]

tonight, jay welcomes -- charlie sheen. comedian joy behar. and the music of neon trees.

actor charlie sheen asked president obama to investigate whether 9/11 was instigated by george debut six minute video was made that osama bin audit and they have been working with the cia. bill gates offered one of the thousand dollars to the person to invent a more pleasurable condom fake? he did call the next generation condom challenge to promote regular use. [laughter] john: factor is evangeline auctioneddoff 60 edward to raise money for homeless kids. we have a picture. this does not surprise you? >> that is to rando not to be real. john: by the cyprus played strip poker to raise money. [laughter] wait for the question to raise money for the children's charity? kennedy got a right. we made that up. it sounded so real. since president obama islam ising gets 8 miles per gallon ed begley, jr. started a petition to trade in the limousine for the electric version? >> a great idea. you are wrong. mary tyler moore tried to pay a restaurant $1,000 to free one of the lobsters. yes. a really happened. a lobster name despite. >> he was delicious by the way. john: and actor who has a and we

tor charlie sheen asked president obama to investigate whether 9/11 was instigated by george debut bushix minute video was made that osama bin audit and they have been working with the cia. bill gates offered one of the thousand dollars to the person to invent a more pleasurable condom fake? he did call the next generation condom challenge to promotregular use. [laughter] john: factor is evangeline auctioneddoff 60 edward to raise money for homeless kids. we have a picture. this does not surprise you? >> that is to random not to be real. john: by the cyprus played strip poker to raise money. [laughter] wait for the question to raise money for the children's charity? kennedy got a right. we made thatp. it sounded so real. since president obama islam ising gets 8 miles per gallon ed begley, jr. started a petition to trade in the limousine for the electric version? >> areat idea. you are wrong. mary tyler moore tried to pay a restaurant $1,000 to free one of the lobsters. yes. a really happened. a lobsr name despite. >> he was delicious by the way. john: and actor who has a and web site ab

you see charlie sheen and a guy like anthony wiener and there is something about being in the public eye whether it is politics or entertainment that attracts a certain sort of brit till -- brittle personality. we are all laughing now, but the guy will be in a very, very bad situation. >> i agree with that. i don't think this will end well. we have like 90 seconds. tom, is he getting a free ride because we accept he was a drunk? >> if you watch the whole video he is doing a jar jar binks impersonation. it shows anybody can be mayor of anything. he is still doing his job. >> there is no impeachment. >> i made fun of politicians and i said, yes, i could. >> andy, last word to you? >> should it be blob marley or iggy marley? >> i like blob. >> first let's not say early tuesday morning. it was late monday night. >> i love when he do that. >> it sounds like he woke up and got dressed and went to a steak house. >> it looks like a tim hortons. >> that a is not a tim hortons. >> i think we should debate whether it is a tim hortons. what is the latest on matthew mcconaghey. our matthew mccona

. >> explain charlie sheen. >> okay. all right. so basically what this study shows from the university of maryland, they only, of course, did it using rats. but they found out that the more sexual encounters you have, you're actually growing brain cells. so having sex makes you have a bigger brain. >> i think there is some bad news about this. >> what? >> once the sexual activity stops for a period of time, improvement in the brain is gone. >> you just keep doing -- makes perfect sense. >> do you feel smarter lately? >> you're trying to trap me. but it makes sense -- >> i personally have not noticed a difference. you are a very smart woman, but i haven't seen any signs of genius lately. you know what i mean? >> look at really smart people, albert einstein. >> i don't want to know about his sex life, come on. >> anyway, again, they said that -- they found that middle aged rats, done on middle aged rats, even better. >> are they turning 50 this year too? >> all right. >> so only works for middle aged rats? >> that's that they tested.

so, first question -- actor charlie sheen asked president obama to investigate whether 9/11 was instigateddid it. made a six-minute video. he said osama bin laden might have been working with the cia. >> next, bill gates, offered $100,000 to the person who could invent a more pleasurable condom? >> three fakes. >> no, he did. it was called it the next generation condom challenge to improve up take and regular use. >> uptake. a great euphemism. >> bill gates and sex in the same sentence. >> next one. actress evangeline lily, to raise money auctions off sexy underwear? >> no doubt about that. >> yes we, have a picture of that. this didn't surprise you? >> it is too random not to be real. if it said whoopi goldberg. >> miley cyrus played strip poker to raise money -- >> wait for the question. >> to raise money for a children's music charity? >> kennedy got that one right. that's one that we made up here. >> come on now. >> sounded so real didn't it? since president obama's limousine only gets 8 miles per gallon. ed begley jr. start aid petition to get the president to trade in his limo for an

could be charlie sheen. could be that charlie tuna character from the old ads. could be charlie anybody. may very well be charlie mckenna, who is governor chris christie's chief counsel, who is also suspected today. after bill baroni delivered false testimony to the legislature, making up a story about a traffic story, a traffic study, a traffic study that could only have been intended to cover up what they're really doing, quote, charlie says you did great, great in all caps. the investigation is to find out about abuse of government power and efforts to conceal abuse of government power. everyone known to be involved in the shutdown, and now the governor's re-election campaign, as an entity, have been asked to turn over documents on that, as has the governor's office itself. one question is, is the cover-up worse than the crime? does the way that this goes into all these other entities, does it follow the chain of people who knew that the cover-up, the whole traffic study bunk, was nuts and who took some part in cooki ining up that story and applauding it once

. >> what was charlie sheen spoking during his aren'ts?puke that is your viscera. >> what a rude little pig you really are. >> all grown up, she said it was made out to be a much bigger deal than it actually was. >> mike tyson threatened to eat his rival's kids. >> my style is impetuous. i want your heart, i want to eat his children. it is a shame. >> before he was shamed by his own sexting scandal, congressman anthony weiner was a ranter par excellence. >> i will not yield to the government. and the gentlemen will observe regular order. >> regular order went flying when an illinois state representative lost it. >> these [ bleep ] all the time. >> and then there was the guy who was asking ohio republicans to nominate him for county treasurer. >> i have been republican when it was, and i have been a republican when it was bad. >> he didn't get a nomination, but he did get a volkswagen nomination. >> everybody wins. >> jeanne moos, cnn. >> i will hit the grounds running, come out swinging and end up winning. >> new york. >> ac 360 starts rig

and i'm reminded of what holbrooke told charlie sheen in wall street.g about money is that it makes you do things you don't want to do. and if there is this belief out there that there is a nexus, a connection between all of the money that david samson's firm made and ultimately what is happening with all of these ongoing investigations, it's going to be a very messy series of months ahead for david samson. >> now, you know, richard, when you look at the fact that the new supercommittee formed yesterday, right away four republicans on the committee started saying they were concerned about the fairness of the investigation. listen to this. >> reiterating the concerns that our party has expressed about the bipartisan nature of this commission. >> there is what i see as a glaring omission here. it seems to me under these circumstances, anybody could investigate anything. >> there is a concern that most of us would have when you take on a lawyer whether there is ever a conflict. >> if there are any documents which are not disclosed to the minority party, wi

we will always know it's charlie sheen. he's looking good, but in all seriousness, you know what happens when you are a punk pop star, a teen punk pop star who won't pay attention, you grow up to be david cassidy. he is waiting to be sentenced on his third dui. it's a big mistake not to pi attention. >> you have been in this facility. >> i have been in that jail. >> miami-dade jail. what's it like. >> i have been in that jail. >> were you in isolation? >> absolutely i was in isolation. i was not the star. i was close to has been by that time. i was in isolation. they are recently for your safety and welfare. they can't let anything happen to me, believe me they can't let anything happen to the bieber. like that young lady about letting him go. everybody has to be safe. there is a pandemonium outside that jail. >> what was it like? take me inside the jail for those who have not been arrested and landed in this particular jail. do you brush past the general population and what is the process like? all the things you endured?

what was charlie sheen smoking during his rants. >> can you smell the rotting vomit, the fermented pukec baldwin had a phone rant to his teenage daughter. she said it was made out to be a much bigger deal than it was. >> you are a rude, thoughtless little big, okay. >> reporter: tyson threaten to eat his rival's kids. >> my style is impet tuous. i am ferocious. i want your heart. i want to eat his children. praise be to our lord. >> reporter: before he was shamed by his own sexting scandal, anthony weiner was a ranter par excellence. regular order went flying when an illinois state representative lost it. and then there was the guy who was just asking ohio republicans to nominate him for county treasurer. treasure this. >> i have been a republican in times good and i have been a republican in times bad. >> reporter: he didn't get the nomination but he did get in a volkswagen ad. >> everybody wins! >> reporter: jeanne moos, cnn. >> i will hit the ground running, come out swinging and end up living. >> reporter: new york. >> my family lives in minerva, ohio. i don't remember that guy. i'l

what was charlie sheen smoking during his rants? >> can you smell the rotting dog [ bleep ].cy word. >> alec baldwin used a phone rant to his then teenage daughter. all grown up she said it was made out to be pay much bigger deal than it actually was. >> mike tyson threatened to eat his rival's kids. >> my defense is impregnable. i'm ferocious. i want your heart. i want to eat your children. >> it is a shame. >> before he was shamed by his sexting scandal, anthony weiner. >> i want regular order. >> regular order went flying with the state represent went viral. >> and asking everyone to nominate him for treasurer, treasure this. >> he didn't get the nomination. he did get in a volkswagen ad. >> everybody wins. >> cnn. new york. >> it's one way to get pumped up. we should really do that more. >> another to get medication. >> i don't think sherman belongs with any of those guys. he was orchestrated, pumped up in a legitimate moment. >> in a game. >> more proof of why it's questionable men have tendency to be in position to power. >> thank you jenny for wrapping it up. >> geez l

. >> explain charlie sheen. >> okay. all right.ctivity stops for a period of time, improvement in the brain is gone. >> you just keep doing -- makes perfect sense. >> do you feel smarter lately? >> you're trying to trap me. but it makes sense -- >> i personally have not noticed a difference. you are a very smart woman, but i haven't seen any signs of genius lately. you know what i mean? >> look at really smart people, albert einstein. >> i don't want to know about his sex life, come on. >> anyway, again, they said that -- they found that middle aged rats, done on middle aged rats, even better. >> are they turning 50 this year too? >> all right. >> so only works for middle aged rats? >> that's that they tested. middle aged rats. >> sometimes i wonder where our tax dollars are going. i really, really do. another study we paid for called -- somebody did -- people named katie, like a version of catherine, and david make the best spouses. do you think your name shapes the kind of person you're going to become. >> this survey, they did f