[cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] kansas -- [cheers and applause] kansas has been for so manyf life. kansas has been a place where there's a central focus. we always know this in kansas, that the right of life can't be given to by the member of congress or taken away from you by nine folks on the supreme court. [cheers and applause] we know life comes because he gave us life and made us in him image. thank you so much for coming out here today. god bless you all, and let's keep up the fight. thank you all. [cheers and applause] >> good afternoon, i'm marlin from the great state of indiana, and i brought my pro-life team, my wife, christie, our son, payton, and our youngest son presston, and i want to give a shoutout to the county in indiana who traveled out tonight to be here today. i'm a freshmen congressman, and this is an amazing sight to see, and i want your picture from up here, okay? payton. i believe that this generation -- [cheers and applause] i believe that this is a generation to see the overturning of roe vs. wade because we are winning in the hearts and minds of a

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back.rs and applause ] >> what is charades? i don't -- >> jimmy: i'm so excited about this. [ laughter ] joining us to play from the new cast of "the celebrity apprentice," please welcome "real housewife" nene leakes and rapper lil jon. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ exchanging greetings ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. now, here we go. welcome, you guys. you all know how to play charades. [ cheers and applause ] each player gets a turn giving clues to the teammates. 45 seconds on the clock per turn. the first two rounds are worth one point each. third round -- charades showdown, where each team will get the same clue to give at the same time. we'll see how it works. [ laughter ] the best team -- will win of course. and the teams -- will -- me and nene are going to be a team. >> lil jon: you're gonna to lose. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no -- >> lil jon: you're gonna to lose. >> jimmy: we're going to win. >> lil jon: you're going to lose. excuses. >> jimmy: yea

[ cheers and applause ] th "jimmy fallon" happening right [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary the legendary roots crew. ♪ happy birthday and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, everybody. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." happy thursday. hey, last night was president -- last night was president obama's state dinner for chinese president hu jintao and he served lobster for all his guests. which meant for once, biden wasn't the only one wearing a bib. so it was very -- he enjoyed it. [ light laughter ] "yours has a lobster on it. [ laughter ] mine has a choo-choo train." [ laughter ] i just saw this. senator bernie sanders' famous eight-hour speech against the bush tax cuts will soon be released as a book. if you go to barnes & noble, it's located in the section marked -- [ loud snore ] [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] you

[ cheers ] [ laughter ] >> nene: oh my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] okay. >> jimmy: okay, ready?laughter ] wood -- [ laughter ] oh, oh! whoop -- oh! [ buzzer ] [ wah-wah ] >> jimmy: oh my god! >> donald: "whip my hair." >> lil jon: oh! oh. >> jimmy: that was good. >> lil jon: that was close. i had two words. >> jimmy: so good. all right, nene -- >> lil jon: oh, man. >> jimmy: let's go for the win. >> nene: okay. i'm going to take the number ten. this is for the win. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: all right, here we go, pal. we can do this. for the win, let's do this. >> nene: okay. all right, you guys. >> jimmy: ready? >> donald: no talking. >> jimmy: song. >> nene: yes. >> jimmy: "the twist." second -- jump. "twist and shout!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that was it! we won! thank you so much, you guys. "celebrity apprentice," watch it when it comes on in march. starts at 9 p.m., nbc. [ cheers and applause ] and bobby moynihan joins us next. there he is in the bud light lime green room, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ winter can be beautiful. with relief from dry, uncomfortable skin. o

[cheers and applause] nice. [cheers and applause] all right... you made it look simple. you did it in 30 seconds. and you've won $5,000. [cheers and applause] - $5,000, baby. - and you also get a gift from the 60-second santa. so if we could have that fantastic gift brought over... - all right. - wow. all right. you ready? - it's up to you, baby. - what's it gonna be? - you open it. - ten extra seconds. what i want you to know with this is this is not just ten seconds that could be added to a challenge. it's also ten seconds that could be taken away from a challenge. okay? you dig that? - yeah, i like that. - the next level is worth $10,000. you ready to open another blueprint? - yes! yes! - yes. - lindsey and josh, let's take a look at your level four blueprint! host: could switching to geico or more on car insurance?ercent do woodchucks chuck wood? (high-pitched laughter) man: hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood! vo: geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. ♪ [ folk ] we are in town to take a relook at your taxes... and

congratulations on your restaurant, open 30 years. [ cheers ] >> that's right. 30 years. [ cheers andstars in -- italian restaurant. first four-star review in 30 something years? >> yes, it is the only restaurant -- italian restaurant with four stars. >> jimmy: hey, congratulations. [ cheers ] >> it's about time. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's my girl. >> so, listen. >> jimmy: my wife is going to love this. >> does your wife like pasta? >> jimmy: absolutely. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: sure. >> and make sure you have some good wine. >> jimmy: oh, absolutely. >> okay? >> jimmy: i'll get some good wine. let's go -- cheers. >> i want you to taste -- >> jimmy: let's get higgins over here. he loves to taste this stuff. >> a little pasta. and listen, taste pasta too, not just the wine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, okay. "lidia's italy" airs on pbs, check your local listings. lidiasitaly.com, lidia bastianich, everybody. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] how'd we do? good? >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. perfect. >> dessert too. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. my thanks to david duchovany, g

come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is one of oh, i love you. now, wait, what are we doing today? >> listen, you've been throwing food around all night. let's get serious. >> jimmy: okay, let's get serious. no more throwing. >> on valentine's, nancy, your wife. you told me wanted to cook for her. >> jimmy: i do. i want to make -- >> number one, a beautiful table. with a great appetizer and some wine, you begin there. but, come here. >> jimmy: all right. >> this next is the pasta. the pasta -- this pasta will get everybody's heart. so you start with sausages. can you take it out of the casing and put some here? >> jimmy: take it out of the -- the casing. >> yeah, go ahead. >> jimmy: what is the casing? it's intestines, isn't it? >> it is. can you handle that? >> jimmy: no. [ light laughter ] >> as long as it's not yours, don't worry about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good point, actually. [ scattered applause ] that's a good point. all right, so -- >> so, you see -- >> jimmy: cool, i can take it out of the casing. mix it up. we got

♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, what a great crowd.tonight. cons." here we go, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's topic, "american idol," season ten. >> hit it! [ laughter ] what was his name? dj e-z rock? >> rob base. >> jimmy: rob base. yeah, yeah. anyway -- >> hit it! >> jimmy: there you go. [ light laughter ] here we go. this is the "american idol" season ten. everyone is excited about that. tomorrow is the big premiere. people are freaking out. people are waiting in line here for some reason. [ laughter ] >> steve: you should tell them. >> jimmy: yeah, i should tell them it's not here. but let's take a look at the "pros and cons" of "american idol" season ten. here we go. pro, this promises to be a season filled with many highlights. con, especially in ryan seacrest's hair. [ laughter ] he's looking good. pro, for the first time in ten years, viewers were able to submit auditions online using myspace. con, for the first time in ten years, people use myspace. [ laughter ] [ cheers and ap

[ cheers ] here we go, here we go. [ drumroll ] [ laughter ] ugly. ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ [ applausete? plate, or -- oh, wait, the plate's the only one left. i got to do it. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ final score -- 22 -- yes! [ cheers and applause ] that's today's date! that means something, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] happy anniversary. my thanks to ethan hawke. [ cheers and applause ] you are a good man. gillian jacobs joins us next. there she is in the bud light green room. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ heaven isn't too far away... ♪ bill's mornings have never been good'er, thanks to something amazing we've added to gain. it's called freshlock and it helps keep bill's stuff smelling more like it came straight from the dryer. (door opening) the cows aren't going to milk themselves. (deep sniff) ah-h-h... ♪ heaven new gain with freshlock. sniff, sniff, hooray. to help keep your family healthy, especially during cold and flu season. and lysol disinfectant spray is approved to kill more germs than any other brand, even h1n1. learn more at lysol.com [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> j

♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, what a great crowd.at's right. the one and only, one of my all-time favorites, front man of aerosmith and new judge on this season of "american idol," steven tyler is here! [ cheers and applause ] rock 'n' roll legend. from "gossip girl," our buddy chace crawford is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] he's a stud. we love him. and we got some great, great new music from two door cinema club, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] gonna be a good show. ladies and gentlemen, if i can have your complete silence. it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today. and weight the good with the bad in a segment we call "pros and cons." here we go, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's topic, "american idol," season ten. >> hit it! [ laughter ] what was his name? dj e-z rock? >> rob base. >> jimmy: rob base. yeah, yeah. anyway -- >> hit it! >> jimmy: there you go. [ light laughter ] here we go. this is the "american idol" season ten. everyone is excited about tha

] wow. [ cheers ] beautiful.nd of asymmetrical. gorgeous. [ cheers and applause ] now let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater. everyone look at your seat number. and if i call your number, i need you to jump up and let me know where you are. quest, can i get a drum roll? [ drum roll ] who wants this sweater? come on, it's a goodie. [ cheers and applause ] 125! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] how you doing? nice to meet you. here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> pam. >> jimmy: pam, where are you from? >> georgia, north georgia. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> hoschton, represent. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. >> little, bitty town. little, bitty town? >> jimmy: what is it called? >> hoschton. >> jimmy: hoschton? >> hosch -- like push. >> jimmy: hosch like push. >> hosch like push. >> jimmy: like hush -- not hush. >> not hush, hosch. >> jimmy: hosch. yeah. so people talk normal volume there and everything. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do people wear sweaters over there? >> sure. >> jimmy: i mean, anythin

infinium is the art of brewing. [ cork pops ] -[ man ] cheers. -[ all ] cheers!elcome back, everybody. our next guest is an animal expert and crazy person who has been kind enough to stop by with some of his friends. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our friend, jeff musial, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: good to see you again. everything good? >> yeah, you? >> jimmy: everything's good. wow, jeff, welcome back to our show. >> thanks for having me back. i don't know why we do have you back, but you brought a little guy here. what is this? >> it is called a zorilla. part of the skunk family. they can spray. she is too young to get her descented, so if she sprays, you need to use baking soda to actually get the smell out. but -- >> jimmy: why would you do -- okay. [ laughter ] >> yeah. it's incredible. >> jimmy: why don't you get their smell out next time you bring and animal. >> that's not fun. this girl -- the cool thing -- >> jimmy: oh, oh, man that hurt. >> did you see that? >> jimmy: i think you're bleeding. >> yeah, a little bit. [ laughter

[ cheers and applause ] he's always fun.ve got music from the one, the only, tom tom club, tonight! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ oh, i'm so excited! i'm so excited for that song. it is gonna be so fun and the rehearsals were just off the charts today, it was great. hey, you guys, we pride ourselves on being a positive show, here, always looking on the bright side of things. but of course, there are two sides to every story. tonight, we take a look at those stores and issues making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad in a segment we call "pros and cons." ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's "pros and cons" topic, the golden globes. >> [ tone loc recording ] let's do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my man, tone loc talking again. he's up in the both, probably. >> steve: he lives here now. >> jimmy: yeah, you -- >> let's do it. >> jimmy: he's ready to do it. [ light laughter ] i say, "tone, you want to watch the golden globes?" he's like -- >> let's do it. [ light laughter

buh-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ cheers and applause ] it's so cute. they know each other so well, they practically forget each other's sentences. [ light laughter ] it's so cute. did you see there's a man in south carolina who was forced to remove a snowman's genitals after his neighbors complained. [ laughter ] oh man, "snowball fight!" [ laughter ] there it is. all the kids are yelling it. "snowball fight." >> steve: "don't touch that carrot." [ laughter and ohs ] ♪ made out of coal >> jimmy: parson brown? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: get this, a man in morocco broke a guinness world record by breaking 350 bricks on his head. the guy was super-excited until he found out that the previous record was seven bricks. [ laughter ] "why didn't you tell me, man?" "you were in the zone." [ light laughter ] this is weird. i read that a new reality show is in the works, based on the video game "pac man." that's right. a "pac man" reality show. i just hope it's better than the other show, "donkey kong's banana of love." [ laughter ] that was -- and finally, i don'

[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] oh, snooki, thank you very [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. welcome to the show. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very, very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." this -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. this is our first show of 2011! [ cheers and applause ] that's right. we were off all last week, just like the people who plow new york city. [ laughter ] actually, i made some new year's resolutions myself. i'm going to eat healthier, i'm going to volunteer more, and i'm not going to fist-pump. [ laughter ] not going to do it. [ cheers and applause ] n0t going to do it. i'm not going to do it. i read that a -- not going to do it. i read that a man in wisconsin -- ♪ -- man in wisconsin. ♪ w

infinium is the art of brewing. [ cork pops ] -[ man ] cheers. -[ all ] cheers! [ male announcer ] pool filled with caramel. not as good as chocolate filled with caramel. introducing milky way simply caramel. life's better the milky way. with these water-activated silkening ingredients and was transported to a lush paradise. my hair flowing with petal softness and glistening shine. now, that's paradise. [ female announcer ] clearly, someone's been doing the herbal. the reformulated herbal essences collections... for softness and shine -- the way nature intended. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there he is. the engineer. hey, you guys, it's thursday, which means it's time to "remix the clips!" here we go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: this is where we take stuff we found on the internet and on tv. stuff that's funny, weird, or interesting, and have our very own questlove remix it. there he is, right there, good man. [ cheers and applause ] our first clip was all over the place this week. this is what happens when you give a 3-year-old books for christmas

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> i'm excited about tonight's show.ss and our good pal, gwyneth paltrow is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] you know him as one of the correspondents on "the "daily show"", the funny, the talented, wyatt cenac is here. [ cheers and applause ] love him too. our crazy friend and animal expert -- he always tries to get me killed, jeff musial is here with some cool animals. [ cheers and applause ] for me check out, play with and get bit by. love jeff. and we got some great, great music from a good new band -- best coast, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] they are good. they are good stuff. we wouldn't give you the bad stuff. they're good. [ applause ] now, there's still two more orders of business that have to be taken care of. first is to show you all this picture of a camel. [ laughter ] second -- second is -- [ laughter ] second is to play one of my favorite games. it's time once again for wheel of game shows! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right. let's give it up for tonight's first contestant! come on ov

[ cheers and applause ] >> so here's what we do. and there are the ears, if you want them. and then taking this off right there. >> jimmy: all right, thank you so much. i appreciate that. thank you. that's very professional. it's like "the three stooges" doing surgery on me. it's crazy. but actually tell people where you were today? >> i did heart surgery today. you know, on thursdays, i operate. i'm at york presbyterian at columbia university. so i go back -- [ cheers ] i did an aortic valve surgery today. aortic valve is that little valve between the heart and the rest of the body. so -- and we have all kinds of cool ways now of being able to change them. i love surgery. you know, this is fun being across the hall from you, but there's something unique when you look somebody in the eyes and you say, "we're going to do something together. and i'm going to trust you to help me do this and i'm going to, you know, be here for you the entire time. and we'll make this happen." it's so real, so vivid, so soulful. i'd never give that up.

[ cheers and applause ] yeah, it's been a couple of [ cheers and applause ] "jimmy fallon" happening right [ cheers a applause ] us in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very, very much. welcome, everybody, to "late night with jimmy fallon." this is a hot crowd. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, you guys. you guys, i co-hosted the fourth hour of the "today" show this morning, with hoda kotb, so that should explain the hangover. [ light laughter ] i just wanna let you guys know right off the -- this is interesting, you guys. after surprise visits to afghanistan and pakistan, vice president biden made his third surprise visit of the week to iraq, yesterday. is it just me or does everyone else feel like he's just lost in that area? [ laughter ] "surprise. iraq, hey, guys." [ light laughter ] you guys see this? a

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa.hat's what i'm talking about. hey, everybody. welcome. what a great crowd. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. fun show tonight. we have a great show tonight. some big news -- it's kind of a cool story. steve buckley, a sportswriter for "the boston herald" revealed in his column today that he is gay. [ cheers and applause ] of course, this is classier than the other option, doing an hour-long special on espn to announce he's switching teams. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he didn't do that. he could have done that. hey, listen to this. an escaped prisoner in alaska was on the run for six hours yesterday before he was finally caught near sarah palin's hometown of wasilla. [ laughter ] yeah, 'cause when i think of safe places to run, i think, "the woods near sarah palin's house." that's perfect. [ light laughter ] hey, you guys, it was a three-hour hostage standoff that ended peacefully yesterday at a mall food court in arizona. it would have ended a lot sooner, b

[ cheers and applause ] "jimmy fallon" happening right [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody! how are you? [ cheers and applause ] i missed you, new york. i missed you guys. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." --yesterday was a holiday. a lot of people had off from work. teachers, postal workers, the patriots. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] speaking of football, i'm not sure what to make of this, the nfl is selling tickets to stand outside the cowboys stadium for the super bowl. [ laughter ] that's got to be awkward for scalpers. it's like -- "hey, you selling tickets?" "yeah." [ light laughter ] "where are the seats?" "here." [ laughter ] some tv news here, you guys, i read that the austrian version of "dancing with the stars" will feature t

[ cheers and applause ] jimmy fallon happening right [ cheers and applause ] in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you all. thank you. oh, man oh, man, it's a friday crowd here in new york city. i can feel it. i can feel the energy. how you guys doing? good? [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," you guys. hey, this is getting a lot of attention. yesterday, california congresswoman lynn woolsey referred to the war in afghanistan as a "national embarrassment." then she watched the premiere of "jersey shore" and was like "never mind. [ laughter ] we're all good, we're all good." speaking of "jersey shore," in an interview with "extra," snooki said that she could do "jersey shore" until she's 50. [ laughter ] wait, snooki isn't 50? [ laughter ] check this out, a new study found that humans started wearin

[ cheers and applause ] "jimmy fallon" happening right [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that's a crowd right there. hey, welcome to "late night" -- welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," you guys. how are you guys feeling? are you feeling good this friday? [ cheers and applause ] big rumor going around. this is big. it's rumored that ryan seacrest might be proposing to his girlfriend, julianne hough, after he was spotted buying a ring this week, yeah. however, those rumors came to a stop today when he was spotted wearing the ring. [ laughter ] no, it's true, ryan seacrest really bought an engagement ring this week. can you imagine ryan seacrest proposing? he's like, "honey, there's something i've wanted to ask you for awhile now. i'm gonna ask you right --

[ cheers and applause ] i love her.ery, very funny writer, producer and actor, stephen merchant is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] he's one of the funniest dudes i've ever met. he created "the office," "extras." talented guy. and we've got a performance from the one and only ariel pink's haunted graffiti, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] really good band. really good. they're playing at coachella, those guys. they're all backstage warming up. there's going to be a lot of action. [ laughter ] hey, guys, it's time for the "late night hashtags." here we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are lists that -- on twitter, where we give you the topic, you guys send in the tweets. now, yesterday, i started a hashtag called "worst date." and i asked you guys at home to tweet out something funny, embarrassing, or awful that happened during your worst date. we got thousands of tweets. we were trending worldwide. we were trending in space. >> steve: space? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: at one point. >> steve: wow. >> j

we should be able to lessen the prospects of such violence in the future. >> [ cheers cheers and applause >> but what we cannot do is use this tragedy as one more occasion to turn on each other. [ cheers and applause >> that we cannot do. [ cheers and applause ] >> that we cannot do. as we discuss these issues, let's each of us do so with a good dose of humility. rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame. let's use this occasion to expand our moral imaginations. to listen to each other more carefully. to sharpen our instincts for empathy. and remind ourselves of all of the ways that our hopes and dreams are bound together. [ cheers and applause >> after all, that's what most of us do when we lose somebody in our family. especially if the loss is unexpected. we are shaken out of our routines. we are forced to look inwards. we reflect on the past that we spend enough time with and aging parent we wonder, did we express our gratitude for all the sacrifices that they made for us? did we tell a spouse just how desperately we love them? not just once in a while but every single day. so so

[ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night jason statham will be here and [ cheers and applause ] es nbc-universal television >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what you want to hear! you guys are the best! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. you guys, we have dj pauly d from "jersey shore" on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] dj pauly d is on the show. looks like i picked the wrong week to quit fist pumping. [ laughter ] yeah, i -- no, i can't. first step is admitting that i have a problem. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i have a problem, a problem, a problem, a problem, a problem, a problem. i have a problem. [ rhythmic clapping ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i've got -- -- psyched that he's here. hey, you guys, check this out. on "entertainment tonight," i saw this -- hugh hef

[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very, very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hey. did you guys see this? over the weekend, like, 50 more birds came crashing to the ground in pennsylvania. yeah, the eagles just didn't bring their a-game. i guess it -- [ boos ] >> audience member: oh, no, you did not! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: there were a lot of big nfl playoff games this weekend. the baltimore ravens destroyed the kansas city chiefs yesterday, 30 to 7. that's so raven. [ laughter ] i knew you'd like that one. i knew you'd like that one. check this out. a writer is suing mtv for stealing his idea for "jersey shore." [ light laughter ] in fact, he just hired jersey's best lawyer, "the representation." [ laughter

[ cheers and applause ] ♪se she's had a gazillion hits. >> she's terrific and just a dignified woman. great dignity. she really was respected on the show. >> jimmy: good odds. and then, finally, my main man -- he's been on the show a bunch of times -- john rich. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] from big & rich. >> john is terrific and very, very clever. >> jimmy: i like that. he comes on our show and he plays. he's very, very smart. >> yeah, he's a very smart guy. >> jimmy: this is like a crazy cast. that's the cast, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] the new "celebrity apprentice." looks like a crazy season. it's gonna be great. >> it's gonna be fantastic. >> jimmy: thank you for coming on and announcing it on our show. i appreciate it. >> absolutely. absolutely. >> jimmy: you guys, when we get back, donald and i are gonna play charades with two cast members of the new "celebrity apprentice," so come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ cheers and applause ] yeah! yeah!y good. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how long have you been kicking stuff, jonathan? >> oh, me, i've been kicking stuff a long time, man. i don't even want to talk about it. [ laughter ] long time. real long. >> jimmy: what was the first thing you ever kicked? do you remember that? >> good question. a long time ago, i kicked a bowl of fruit. have you ever kicked an apple, jimmy? jim, have you ever an apple? an apple kick real good. >> jimmy: an apple kick real good. >> you get on the sweet spot. you know what i'm talking about. kickin' stuff! go! >> jimmy: yeah. go. apple kick real good. >> apple kick real good. >> jimmy: so tell us what you're kicking tonight, buddy. >> all right. well, tonight, i'm going to be kicking this 1996 dell laptop computer. [ laughter ] now, it run about 64 megamemory and she's got about 128 megapickles in it, bread wherever you want to call it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: probably not megapickles. >> megasomething going. and it's got a cd burner on it. oh, god, i don't kn

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is a big one, everybody! cheers and applause ] >> audience: bruce! >> jimmy: we are spending the whole show with one of the biggest rock stars of all time. he's going to talk. he's going to play. he's going to blow your pants off! tonight it's just you, me and bruce springsteen, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> audience: bruce! >> jimmy: i am so excited. i'm so excited. you know, we pride ourselves on being a positive show here, always looking on the bright side of things. but of course, there's two sides to every story. so tonight, we take a look at those stories and issues making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad in a segment we call "pros and cons." ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's "pros and cons" topic -- the deluxe reissue of bruce springsteen's "darkness on the edge of town." [ cheers and applause ] look at this thing. just came out today. [ boinging ] >> hey! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this thing is awesome. you've got remaste

[ cheers and applause ] who wants this, baby? [ cheers and applause ] 212!s and applause ] that's what i'm talking about. ♪ oh my god. wow! that's cute. please. try not to cry. try not to cry. i know a lot of people get emotional when this happens. where are you from and what is your name? >> i live here on the upper west side, my name's nicole. >> jimmy: nicole, welcome to our show, thank you so much for coming here. look at this ring. oh, my god, look at this ring. can we zoom in on this? [ laughter ] hey, you psyched for that lunar eclipse later? [ laughter ] you point this ring up at it, you get special powers. yeah. do you own a christmas sweater? >> no, i do not. >> jimmy: oh, man this is perfect. >> now you do. >> jimmy: now you do, 'cause there it is right here -- look at this guy. you have cats at home? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, man. well, you probably have friends that can relate to this exact thing happening. you hang up fish as ornaments and then the cats just go bonkers. would you want to try it on? >> yes, please. >> jimmy: all right. here we go, th

[ cheers and applause ] and grace potter and the "jimmy fallon" happening right [ cheers and applause ] in rockefeller center, the national broadcasti company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. how are you doing? welcome to the show. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." happy wednesday. thank you very much. this is a great crowd. welcome, welcome everybody. happy wednesday. this is pretty cool, you guys, president obama said today he'll go to the super bowl if the chicago bears are playing in it. meanwhile, sarah palin said she'd go to the super bowl if actual bears were playing in it. [ laughter ] [ applause ] check this out. a new survey ranked new york as one of the rudest cities in the united states. [ audience boos ] that is so not true. for instance, this morning, i slipped on some ice and a complete stranger was like, "are you all right, a-hol

[ cheers ] >> it's t-shirt time!bout this, this year, this gets involved. >> grenade whistle! you know what that is? >> jimmy: how do you know a grenade with -- no, i don't. >> you what this -- i've got to show you. so, this is a grenade whistle. and what this is is, sometimes at the club, you're taking some girls back, and you might be a little cloudy. so, you don't know that. so, let's say my man, vinnie, takes home a grenade. i'm going to grab the whistle, i'm going to let him know. i'm going to be like -- [ whistle blows ] [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: there you go. grenade whistle! >> and immediately kick the girl out. he knows the deal. >> jimmy: but do you have to yell "grenade whistle" after you whistle? >> i do. you don't have to. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because doesn't that give away that it's a grenade whistle? >> i mean, i do it, because maybe they don't know. >> jimmy: just do it again just so i know how to do it. [ whistle blows ] >> grenade whistle! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: grenade whistle! all right,

(cheers and applause) thank you mr. president, on behalf of the people of the state of arizona i thank you for coming today to help us with our healing. (cheers and applause) in the aftermath of saturday your words have been a source of comfort and strength to every arizonan. your presence today serves us as a reminder that we are not alone in our sorrow. america grieves with us. this great nation stands ready to help our nations heal in mourning a loss beyond measure. there is no way to measure what tucson and all of arizona lost this past saturday. a day that began as a warm arizona morning, neighbors were grocery shopping running errands. they were gathering to meet their congresswoman to see the gabby giffords' all of us know so well. there's no way... (applause) there is no way to quantify the loss of a fine public servant like united states district court judge don roll. (cheers and applause) there's no way to measure the deaths of good people, parents and grant parents like dorwin stoddard, phyllis schneck and do

[cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] kansas -- [cheers and applause] kansas has been for so manyhe issue of life. kansas has been a place where there's a central focus. we always know this in kansas, that the right of life can't be given to by the member of congress or taken away from you by nine folks on the supreme court. [cheers and applause] we know life comes because he gave us life and made us in him image. thank you so much for coming out here today. god bless you all, and let's keep up the fight. thank you all. [cheers and applause] >> good afternoon, i'm marlin from the great state of indiana, and i brought my pro-life team, my wife, christie, our son, payton, and our youngest son presston, and i want to give a shoutout to the county in indiana who traveled out tonight to be here today. i'm a freshmen congressman, and this is an amazing sight to see, and i want your picture from up here, okay? payton. i believe that this generation -- [cheers and applause] i believe that this is a generation to see the overturning of roe vs. wade because we are winning in the hearts and

(cheers and applause) that we cannot do. (cheers and applause) that we cannot do. as we discuss these issues, let each of us do so with a good dose of humility rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame. let's use this occasion to expand our moral imaginations. to listen to each other more carefully, to sharpen our instincts for empathy and remind ourselves of all the ways that our hopes and dreams are bound together. (applause) after all that's what most of us do when we lose somebody in our family, especially if the loss is unexpected. we're shaken out of our routines. we're forced to look inward. we reflect on the past that we spend enough time with an aging parent we wonder. did we express our gratitude for the sacrifices they made for us? did we tell a spouse just how desperately we love them? not just once in a while but every single day. so some loss causes us to look backward, but it also forces us to look forward, to reflect on the presence and the future. on the manner which we live our lives and nurture our relationships with those who are still wit

send the vibe. [ cheers and applause ] 303! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] yeah, very good, hey!i'm good! >> jimmy: come on up. what is your name? >> alicia. >> jimmy: alicia? >> um hm. >> jimmy: alicia, where are you from? >> dallas. >> jimmy: dallas, texas. now, do you wear sweaters in dallas? >> yes. >> jimmy: you do? [ laughter ] and what do they look like, normally? >> like this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. it's a little -- i mean, it's the holiday season. i think you need to dress it up a little bit with this awesome gift, right here. look at this guy. i mean, i can just tell by your face that you are so excited. >> so excited. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. would you mind trying it on now? >> sure. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i think that would be cool. ♪ and pull it over. want to pull it over? this is gonna be nice. people are gonna be so jealous. [ laughter ] they might not even talk to you. [ laughter ] man, i can tell all ready this is a winner. oh, wow. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] adorable, look at that. that's fantastic. that's a great sweater. give it a round of -

infinium is the art of brewing. [ cork pops ] -[ man ] cheers. -[ all ] cheers!ause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody, and thank you so much for watching our show. it's time for "late night hashtags," you guys. here we go. ♪ hashtags, hashtags hashtags, hashtags hashtags ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are lists on twitter where we give you the topic and you send in the tweets. now, a few weeks ago, i went on twitter and i started a hashtag called "oh, hell no." [ laughter ] it was really fun. we got a lot of great responses so, yesterday, in the spirit of christmas, i started a new hashtag called "#hohohellno!" [ laughter ] and i asked you guys at home to tweet us something about the holiday season that makes you want to go "ho, ho, hell no!" we got thousands of tweets. i watched them come in all night it was great. so tonight, i thought i'd share some of my favorite "ho, ho, hell no" tweets from you guys. here we go. our first one here is from @ajk. he says, "a snowflake mug, filled with chocolates is my holiday bonus? #hohohellno!" [ laughter ] t

[cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] kansas -- [cheers and applause] kansas has been for so many years a battleground on the issue of life. kansas has been a place where there's a central focus. we always know this in kansas, that the right of life can't be given to by the member of congress or taken away from you by nine folks on the supreme court. [cheers and applause] we know life comes because he gave us life and made us in him image. thank you so much for coming out here today. god bless you all, and let's keep up the figh thank you all. [cheers and applause] >> good afternoon, i'm marlin from the great state of indiana, and i brought my pro-life team, my wife, christie, our son, payton, and our youngest son presston, and i want to give a shoutout to the county in indiana who traveled out tonight to be here today. i'm a freshmen congressman, and this is an amazing sight to see, and i want yr picture from up here, okay? payton. i believe that this generation -- [cheers and applause] i believe that this is a generation to see the overturning of roe vs. wade because we are winn

come on, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: we are back with therfect for this freezing weather. it's our "late night" action sport, and it's called "total iceholes." [ cheers and applause ] [ ice breaking ] >> jimmy: winona, you and i are going to take turns tossing our fish bean bags into that ice hole upstage. >> but i'm wearing heels and you're not. just want to put it out there. >> jimmy: unbelievable! all ready you're going to start. look, i'm basically wearing heels. >> i can throw a baseball. >> jimmy: it's not baseball. it is easy, i told you backstage, it's like bowling, and you say you have a weird tradition? >> i do. i line up and i walk and then i walk backward. >> jimmy: it takes something like five hours to bowl with you. [ laughter ] this will be much quicker. here we go. five turns each. if your fish lands on the ramp, it's one point. if it goes in the hole, it's three points. fish on the ramp cannot be touching the floor. you can knock your opponent's fish off the ramp, but if you knock their fish down the ice hole, they get three

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes!e night with jimmy fallon," everybody. some very exciting political news here. congress was broadcast live on facebook today for the first time in history. that's right. now you can waste time and not get work done by watching congress waste time and not get work done. [ laughter ] it's like an m.c. escher drawing. [ laughter ] [ applause ] it's very interesting. that's right, new house speaker john boehner broadcast his swearing in ceremony live on facebook today. not to be outdone, joe biden went on facebook and took a quiz to see which "jersey shore" character he is. [ laughter ] "hey, i'm more of a snooki. i thought i was like a pauly d." [ laughter ] speaking of facebook, this is a pretty crazy story. a woman in indiana stabbed her boyfriend because he wouldn't let her look at his facebook page. [ light laughter ] the guy's relationship status now reads, "what do you think?" [ laughter ] did you hear this? the state of new york has fired 90% of its official kosher inspectors. it's

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(cheering) we did that in december. thanks to the tax cuts be passed on their cans paychecks are little bigger today. every business can read up the full cost of new investments that they make this year. these steps taken by democrats and republicans will grow the economy and add to the more than 1 million private sector jobs created last year. we have to do more. each step we take it over the last two years may have broken the back of this recession, but to win the future we will need to take on challenges that have been decades in the making. many people watching tonight you probably remember a time when finding a good job that showing up in a nearby factory or business downtown. he didn't always need a degree, and the competition was limited to your neighbors. if you worked hard, chances are you'd have a job for life. with a decent paycheck and good benefits and the occasional promotion. maybe you even have the privacy and your kids work at the same company. that world has changed. for many the change has been painfu