[cheers and applause] ♪ [cheers and applause] >> hey.and applause] >> every now and then, i am known to make a mistake. i did not make a mistake with this guy. he will be the next vice president of the united states. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. [cheers and applause] i am deeply honored and excited to join you as your running mate. [cheers and applause] i want to tell you about mitt romney. mitt romney is a leader with the skills and character that our country needs at this crucial time in its history. [cheers and applause] following four years of failed leadership, the hopes of our country are growing dim. they need someone to revive them. governor romney is the man for the job. [cheers and applause] he and i share one commitment. we will restore the greatness of this country. [cheers and applause] i want you to meet my family. this is my wife. [cheers and applause] my daughter. our sons. [cheers and applause] i am surrounded by the people i love. i love you, too. [laughter] [applause] i have been asked by governor romney to serv

we don't apologize for success. [ cheering and applause ] [cheers and applause] [ cheering and applause >> now we weren't always successful at bain, but no one ever is in the real world of business. that's what this president doesn't seem to understand. business and growing jobs is about taking risk, sometimes failing, sometimes succeeding but always striving. it's about dreams. usually it doesn't work out exactly as you might have imagined. steve jobs was fired at apple and then he came back and changed the world. it's the genius of the american free enterprise system to harness the extraordinary creativity and talent and industry of the american people with a system that's dedicated to creating tomorrow's prosperity, not try to redistribute today's. prosperity [ cheering and applause ] , not trying to redistribute today [ cheering and applause ] >> that's why every president since the great depression who came before the american people asking for a second term could look back at the last four years and say with satisfaction you're better off than you were four years ago except jimmy

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applausereat! [ cheers and applause ] hey, nice moves there. very good. catch your breath. they made a pretty bold statement out there. [ laughter ] you guys think you can top it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can do it. all right, good. there's only one way to find out. go ahead, take the stage please. [ cheers and applause ] roots, you guys ready? >> ready, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. ladies and gentlemen, i can't even believe i'm saying these words. [ laughter ] dancing together for the very first time, please welcome the thunder coalition! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was awesome! that was awesome! get back over here. that was great! [ applause ] great job, great job. all right, guys. it is time for you to pick our weiner. [ laughter ] winner. who's it going to be, audience? will it be the caution crew? [ cheers and applause ] or will it be the thunder coalition? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! it is the caution crew! [ che

♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what happenedrs and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] man has long dreamed of turning lead into gold. we dreamed of turning gold into platinum. triple-filtered, smooth finish, top shelf taste. bud light platinum. we asked sonny to beta test 60" sharone in his home.es with our blue shirt, smooth finish, top shelf taste. sonny: the exciting thing about sharp is that they offer the largest led's on the market. we're talking 60, 70, 80, 90 inches. that's huge. which means any seat in the house is the best seat in the house. sports, movies, everything is just that much better. i'm keeping this thing. vo: beta tested, blue shirt approved. right now get this sharp 60" led for just $1199. if it's not your perfect match we'll pick it up and take it back for free. only at best buy. hey, bro. or engaging. conversations help us learn and grow. at wells fargo, we believe you can never underestimate the power of a conversation. it's this exchange of ideas that helps you move ahead with confidence. so when the co

[cheers and applause]. >> thank you. thank you. [cheers and applause]. >> that's quite a guy. [cers and applause]. >> thank you. >> that's quite a guy, isn't he? isn't that a terrific guy? [cheers and applause]. >> i'm so proud to have him on our team and to make sure we take back america. i'm... i have to tell you, also, just some personal things, i look back here at this card, i tell you, you see, as a boy, my dad made ramblers, all right? -- this car, as a boy my dad made ramblers and i only dreamed of cars like that, to have my name on a car like that, it is just too much, darrell, darrell thank you for putting my name on that car, there, wow. you see... [applause]. >> you see, it must have been tough for my girlfriend to be able to go out in that first date with me in that red rambler we had. and -- ann, come on up here, let's have the beautiful ladies, ann, janna, come up. [cheers and applause] . >> hello, north carolina! [cheers and applause]. >> when we were driving in here and we saw how many people were here, and we saw how many people are outside, that couldn't get

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: all right.e a a grammy-nominated band from right here in california. they're kicking off a tour this sunday in wisconsin -- the taste of madison festival. their new record, "fight or flight," will be released september 11th. say it with me. please welcome hoobastank! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> come on, "tonight show." on your feet! on your feet! come on! ♪ ♪ i may run away through the dark and empty space ♪ ♪ where the wind will erase your memory ♪ ♪ here in the black there is no turning back it's the only place where i can get away ♪ ♪ this is where i know i'm safe the road is my escape ♪ ♪ a hiding place from you under the sky ♪ ♪ there's nowhere else i'd rather be the moonlight blankets me ♪ ♪ the stars will be my company tonight ♪ ♪ further i run the more i become weightless and numb to the hurting ♪ ♪ worries and fears hold no gravity here it's the only place it all makes sense to me ♪ ♪ this is where i know i'm safe the road is my escape ♪ ♪ a hiding place from you under the sky ♪ ♪ ther

[cheers and applause] i am getting all fired up. because what happens when a police officer or a firefighter or a teacher or construction worker or reception -- what happens when they have more money in their pockets? they spend it on basic necessities. maybe they go out and finally after 10 years by a new car. maybe they buy a new computer for their kid going to college. that means business has more customers. that means businesses are making more profit. that means businesses are hiring more workers who have more money to spend, which make businesses do even better. that is how you grow an economy, not from the top down, but from the middle out. or bottom up. that is the choice. that is why i am running for president for a second term. [cheers and applause] on issue after issue, the choice would not be clear -- my auto industry was on the verge of collapse it romney wanted to try to go bankrupt. i said a billion dollars, let us spend it on american manufacturing and workers and three and a half years later, the american auto indus

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fun, fun show tonight, you guysow. [ cheers and applause ] it is a sexy, sexy show tonight. [ screaming ] sexy sandwich. sexy sandwich tonight, yeah. let me tell you the layers of the sandwich. this first guy is a big movie star, he can do it all -- action, drama, comedies like "the hangover," bradley cooper is stopping by tonight. [ cheers and applause ] that's the bread -- some mustard right there. here comes the lettuce, tomato and another slice of bread -- >> steve: uh-oh. >> jimmy: -- for the sexy sandwich. he's one of the fastest guys in the pool, and boy, do the ladies love this guy. olympic gold medalist ryan lochte is here! [ cheers and applause ] and if that can't get any hotter -- >> steve: what? >> jimmy: -- we have music from the great antibalas, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] there's bongo drums, there's a farfisa backstage. they are awesome and they're going to get you moving and grooving. they're so good. you guys, today is friday, and that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. i che

audience, cheer him on.shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake your balls off shake shake your balls off ♪ [ buzzer ] [ laughter ] >> damn. [ laughter ] damn it. >> jimmy: yeah, you did not shake all of your balls off. it was a good effort. head over there. let's go see our last contestant. [ applause ] what's up, my man? how you doing my friend, all good? >> i'm good, thanks. >> jimmy: all right. thank you for -- you ready to do this? >> let's do it. >> jimmy: well good luck my friend. all right. initiate the board of insanity. all right. here's your gun. fi when ready. try to hit the board. [ drumroll ] >> i'll do my very best. [ bell dings ] >> jimmy: dude spoon, 15 points. [ applause ] ♪ higgins, tell him what he's gotta do here. >> steve: well jimmy, tonight's contestant get's to spend some quality time in bed with sebastian. he's a scorpio, a three time convicted felon, and a master of the ancient art of spooning. it's the dude spoon, and it's worth 15 points. jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >>

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: 130. here we go. points or more! >> i don't see what's going on. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ drum roll ] [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: oh, that's it right there. so sorry. our thanks to the great kristen bell, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] her movie "hit and run" is in theaters today. "hit and run." kristen bell. john oliver joins us next. there he is right now in the bud light platinum suite. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ music playing ] [ music playing ] but now you're saved clear men, with mint, ginseng, and tea tree. it feeds your scalp to stop dandruff at the source. clear men. feed scalp. stop dandruff at the source. you've got to be kidding me. sweetie, help us settle this. i say this and this is called southern hospitality. well, i call it the clean getaway. [ scoffs ] you're both wrong. it's the freshy fresh. everyone knows that. i didn't know that. oh yeah, that's what they're saying now. [ female announcer ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. tr

[ cheers and applause ] winner! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about!>> jimmy: well, i was -- i made a mistake. you did a great job, meredith. >> okay. thank -- [ laughter ] >> let's get rid of all of these. >> jimmy: "kung fu panda," that was the real winner. [ laughter ] oh, yeah, you start. >> start? yeah, okay. ready. >> we got this. >> we got this. >> all right. you eat this as a lot of different things. if you go hiking -- >> oh, germs? >> no, no, no. it's not chips, though, but there's like peanuts and chocolate -- >> oh, trail mix. >> yeah, mm-hmm. >> jimmy: all right, good. [ laughter ] just doesn't make any sense! >> oh, come on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what month is it? >> august. >> jimmy: that's the last word. [ laughter ] the first word is not a cat, it's a -- >> dog. >> jimmy: so, that's the first word. >> okay. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: second word is -- if it's not wednesday, it's -- it's a weekday. >> dog -- dog day wednesday? [ light laughter ] dog wednesday august? >> jimmy: right? i just got to take the loss. i think i just take t

[ cheers ]ou hear that regis is actually being traded to the giants. [ as regis ] hut, hut, hike! [ laughter ] everyone is talking about this. several pictures were leaked online that show a naked prince harry playing a game of truth billiards, or as that's also known, two balls, no pockets. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: i saw those pictures. >> jimmy: you saw it on tmz? >> steve: it looked like prince not hairy, if you know what i mean. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here is an election update, you guys. it was just announced that most of the speakers at this year's democratic national convention will be women. so it's going to be a -- [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be annoying when they stop speaking, but i won't tell you why. [ laughter ] hey, today is national punctuation day, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] or as christopher walken calls it, national what day? [ laughter ] this is interesting. more magazines are actually photoshopping their models to make them look heavier

[cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] >> wow! what a welcome! [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] >> thank you. and thank you, luce. i can't wait to see what we're all going to do together. this is going to be so exciting! just so you all know the hurricane has hit landfall, and i think we should all take this moment and recognize that fellow americans are in its path, and just hope and pray that all remain safe and no life is lost and no property is lost. so we should all be thankful for this great country and grateful for our first responders and all that keep us safe in this wonderful country. [applause] well, i want to talk to you tonight, not about politics and not about party. while there are many important issues we'll hear discussed in this convention and throughout this campaign, tonight i want to talk to you from my heart about our hearts. >> we love you, ann! [cheers and applause] i want to talk not about what divides us, but what holds us together as an american family. i want to talk to you tonight about that one great thing

[cheers and applause] i love you, women! [cheers and applause] and i hear your voices. those are my favorite fans down there. you are the ones who have to do a little bit more and you know what it is like to earn a little bit harder earn the respect you deserve at work and then come home to help with the book report just because it has to be done. you know what those late-night phone calls with an elderly parent are like. you know what it's like to go to the emergency room and which doctor answers the phone call when you call at night and i know all about that. you know what it is like to sit in a graduation ceremony and wonder how it was that so many long days turned into years that went by so quickly. you are the best of america. [applause] you -- [cheers and applause] you are the hope of america. there would not be an america without you. tonight, we salute you and sing your praises! [cheers and applause] i am not sure if men really in a stand this, but i don't think there is a woman in america who really expected live to be easy. in our own ways, we all know better.

take a look at this. ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] you gotre with channing tatum when we get back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hello, it is i your boss. great news! the video call went very very well. asia is on board. too bad you couldn't participate. probably you were worried about overages on that limited data plan you use. perhaps you shouldn't have uploaded so many vacation photos. ooh. ah. ♪ these shorts are for a younger person, wouldn't you say. [ male announcer ] switch to sprint, the only network with truly unlimited data. the only network it's the final days of the ford summer sales event. your last chance for big savings on america's best-selling brand. choose from ford fiesta, focus or fusion. all with the latest technology. up to 40 highway miles per gallon and all with big savings. hurry in for the best selection. the ford summer sales event ends september 3rd. get 0% financing for 60 months or $2000 cash back on focus with no charge sync during the final days of the ford summer sales event at your ford dealer today. [

[ cheers and applause ] >> no more.s. you with the javelin, too. i mean, you were a decathlete. >> yeah, well, the javelin is a very dangerous, dangerous sport if you don't know what you're doing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and that i did not know. [ laughter ] i threw this thing. see, if you don't know this, this side of my head is sunken more than this side. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> and it's because i would hit myself in the head many times and -- >> jimmy: is that how you became a comedian? [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] [ laughter ] bill, don't leave. bill, come back. we just -- one more minute of talking, please? i won't do that anymore. >> why would you do that? >> jimmy: i'm sorry. [ light laughter ] >> what else have you back here? >> jimmy: i have a bunch of things. >> you got any pictures of me with speedy stella? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is such a private joke, i don't know who gets that. [ laughter ] but, i don't have any. you know what i do have back here, though, honestly? >> what is it? >> jimmy: i have one o

(cheers and applause) honoring!nd, folks, like all warriors, these faux armed forces, or armed faux-ces, have their momentmoments of self-doubt. >> i don't know why i let my agent talk me into this. >> stephen: see? that's the real experience of war. and i'm sure the 80,000 u.s. soldiers risking their lives in afghanistan are wondering why they let their agents talk them into that. they really should have take than guest spot on "how i met your mother." (laughter) yeah! (cheers and applause) honoring! of course, like every war you have your hippo protesters. archbishop desmond tutu and eight other nobel peace already a yets wrote a letter to nbc criticizing "stars earn stripes" as trying to somehow sanitize war by likening it to an athletic competition. oh, please, bishop tutu if that is your real name, this is nothing like an athletic competition. those things are dangerous! i say these brave celebri-troopers deserve your support. so please send letters. send care packages. or even better, somebody should do a use

cheering cheering -- [cheering] as governor of massachusetts, i chose a woman lieutenant governor, a woman chief of staff, half of my cabinet and senior officials were women. in business, i mentored and supported great women leader who is went on to run great companies. i grew up in detroit, in love with cars and wanted to be a car guy like my dad. but by the time i was out of school, i realized that i had to go out on my own, that if i stayed around michigan in the same business, i would never really know if i was getting a break because of my dad. i wanted to go somewhere new and prove myself. those weren't the easiest of days. many long hours and weekends working, five young son who is seemed to have this need to re-enact a different world war every night. but if you asked ann and i what we would give to break up just one more fight between the boys, or wake up in the morning and discover a pile of kids asleep in our room -- every mom and dad knows the answer to that. those days were the... [applause] these were tough days on ann, particularly. she was the heroic to it all. five b

[ cheers and applause ] >> that's right. that's right. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what? president has declared that the debate over government-controlled healthcare is over. that will come as news to the millions of americans who elect mitt romney so we can repeal obamacare. [ cheers and applause ] >> and the biggest coldest power play of all in obamacare, came at the expense of theelerly. you see even with all of the hidden taxes to pay for the healthcare takeover, even with the new law and new taxes on nearly a million small businesses, the planners in washington still didn't have enough money. they needed more. they needed hundreds of billions more. so they just took it all away from medicare. $716 billion funneled out of medicare by president obama. [ booing ] >> in obligation we have to our parents and grandparents is being sacrificed all to way for a new entitlement we didn't even ask for. [ cheers and applause ] >> the greatest threat to medicare is obamacare, and we're going to stop it. [ cheers and applause ] >> in congress when they take out the heavy books, an

[ cheers and applause ] yeah.clothes on. listen, you know when you say you're african, they watch that discovery channel african? [ laughter ] i really grew up in chicago. i would tell my black friends that i was african, they would freak out. you tell black people something without them knowing, their voice go up really high. like, "yo, man, i'm african." [ high voice ] "oh man, you're african?" [ laughter ] [ squeaking ] "yeah, i'm nigerian." "and all this time we thought you were like, regular black." [ laughter ] what the hell is regular black? is crayola coming up with colors i don't know about? "we have oprah, obama, and now, regular black." [ laughter ] i'd say, "yo, if you don't believe me, call my parents' house." my father would pick up the phone. people thought they were talking to "the lion king." [ laughter ] "can i speak to godfrey?" [ deep voice ] "oh, he is not here." [ laughter ] "mufasa? you're still alive?" "who in the hell is mufasa?" [ laughter ] then they start prank calling him because they

(cheers and applause) >> thank you very much. (cheers and applause) >> thank you. thank you very much. thank you. save a little for mitt. (laughter) i know what you're thinking, you're thinking what's a movie tradesman doing out here. you know they are all left wingers out there, left of lennon, at least that is what people think. but that's not really the case. there's a lot of conservative people a lot of moderate people, republicans, democrats in hollywood. it is just the conservative people by the nature of the word itself play it a little more close to the vest and they don't go around hot dogging it. so-- (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> but they're there, believe me, they're there. and i just think, in fact, some of them around town, i saw jon voilt, there's-- vote, terrific guy, and these people are all like-minded like all of us. so i have got-- i've got mr. obama sitting here and he's-- i just was going to ask him a couple questions. but you know, about, i remember three and a half years ago when mr. obama won the election. and though i wasn't a big su

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

[cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: i think -- [cheers and applause] thank you so much. please, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for joining us. good to have you with us. by that burst of energy you've proven that in mid august enough air conditioning is a form of methamphetamine. [cheers and applause] they are all cranking in here tonight. [ laughter ] nation, it is a proud day for america. our chests are pufd. our flags are flying and we're singing that verse of national anthem with the curse words in it because at 1:30 a.m. america standard time nasa's curiosity rover touched down on the surface of mars. [cheers and applause] woo! we marred -- mars-ed it. [cheers and applause] whoo! [cheers and applause] unbelievable. folks -- [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting u.s.a.] oh, folks i just wish i heard more of that at the limb picks. i would like to congratulate the team at the jet propulsion laboratory or jpl. you are steely eyed missile man and you deserve every missed high five of celebration. [ laughter ] it was nice to see nasa

[cheers and applause] i am getting all fired up. [cheers and applause] i want to explain that this is not just good for middle-class families and working families. it is good for everybody because what happens when a police officer or a firefighter or a teacher or construction worker or reception -- what happens when they have more money in their pockets? they spend it on basic necessities. maybe they go out and finally after 10 years by a new car. maybe they buy a new computer for their kid going to college. that means business has more customers. that means businesses are making more profit. that means businesses are hiring more workers who have more money to spend, which make businesses do even better. that is how you grow an economy, not from the top down, but from the middle out. or bottom up. that is the choice. that is why i am running for president for a second term. [cheers and applause] on issue after issue, the choice would not be clear -- my auto industry was on the verge of collapse it romney wanted to try to go bankrup

give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we havees. she is hilarious and great every single day on the fourth hour of "the today show." kathie lee gifford is back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] plus, he is a big-time rapper, author, actor and reality star. t.i. is coming back to the show. [ cheers and applause ] she made incredible saves to help team usa win gold in soccer. [ cheers and applause ] two-time olympic gold medalist hope solo is coming right he. she's got the medal. she's rad. and we'll have stand-up from the very, very funny godfrey. my old friend godfrey's coming on. [ cheers and applause ] he's a funny dude. hey guys, i know how much we all love watching tv, but everyone is so busy these days that we don't have time to watch every single thing that we want. so, we thought we'd help you out by boiling the shows down to just the essential parts, the clips that can't be missed. i'll show you what i mean in a new segment called, "said it and re-edit." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ said it, said it said it and re

chairman and delegates-- ( cheers and applause ) mr. chairman and delegates, i accept your nomination for president of the united states. ( cheers and applause ) i do so with humility, deeply moved by the trust you place in me. it's a great honor. it's an even greater responsibility. and tonight i'm asking you to join me to walk together to a better future. by my side i've chosen a man with a big heart from a small town ( cheers and applause ) he represents the best of america. a man who will always make us very proud, my friend and america's next vice president, paul ryan. ( cheers and applause ) in the days ahead, you're going to get to know paul and janna better, but last night america got to see what i saw in paul ryan-- a strong and caring leader who is down to earth and confident in the challenge this moment demands. i love the way he lights up around his kids and how he's not embarrassed to show the world how much he loves his mom. ( applause ) but, paul, i still like the play list on my ipod better than yours. ( applause ) four

[cheers and applause] ♪ [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> mitt romney and paul ryanbe making their first joint appearance when they visit richmond, va. together. you can watch a live 2:00 eastern on c-span. coming up next, more speeches from tonight's convention in tampa. newt gingrich, jeb bush, and kerry healey. turn tothe democrats' hold a convention. on tuesday delegates will vote on the platform. it will hear from former president jimmy carter, the san antonio mayor julian castro, and first lady michelle obama. on wednesday, elizabeth warren, former president bill clinton, and the roll call of states. on wednesday it wraps up with speeches from joe biden and president barack obama. you can watch gavel-to-gavel coverage of the democratic national convention live from charlotte, north carolina here on c-span. >> during the republican and democratic conventions, we are asking middle and high school students to send a message to the president as part of the documentary competition. students will answer the question "what is the most important issue the president sho

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fantastic show tonight.democratic leader nancy pelosi is on the show this evening. [ cheers and applause ] also joining us, a super talented musician and a good friend of our show. joe jonas is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] ladies love joe jonas. >> steve: love the joe jonas. >> jimmy: and as i said earlier, we have music from rapper 2 chainz. [ cheers and applause ] 2 chainz got a big record man. hot album. >> steve: number one. >> jimmy: hey guys, today is friday and that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, i return some e-mails and of course send out "thank you notes." [ cheers and applause ] i'm running a bit behind today, so i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly "thank you notes" right now. is that cool with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] honey boo boo, can i get some "thank you note" writing music? [ laughter ] sorry. no -- sorry, no. it's james. james. ♪ thank you, buddy. >> steve: he can't believe it. wait. hone