finally i said look, chennai, you don't have much time left. do you really want to go to the grave complaining about this woman? i suggested he write a letter to her, and i will help you. he said i don't know how to write it. i said you will dictate it and we will write it down. you will think of all the great things about her. you can either send it or not send it, but i think it might change your attitude. i haven't heard anything great about her. so we did. it took a couple weeks, and we never finished it because she came back. magically, she appeared one day at the hospital and became a devoted wife for the last few weeks of his life. later, when he died, she found the letter that he had dictated to me among his belongings and think of me very much. he had never expressed this to her with. it was against the rules, but i thought it was kind of a cool thing to do a. >> it sounds very moving. denial of death. that is a big theme in this book. tell me about it and tell me about -- you have a whole chapter which i found interesting about how --