russell crowe, raven simone. i know none of these people have been born yet, but trust me." she's not wrong. she was not wrong. next, in honor of columbus day we have christopherwho said, "riches don't make a man rich, they only make him busier." let's check out the first draft. "riches don't make a man rich, they only make him busier, and when i told the natives that they actually believed me and that's how i got all their stuff." you're a bad guy. you're a bad guy, christopher columbus. real bad guy. next we have marilyn monroe who said, "if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything." her first draft is a little different. let's see it. "if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything, except for butt stuff. it's going to take diamonds for butt stuff." [ laughter and applause ] unless it's a diamond ring. then you don't get any stuff. next we've got buddha, our chubby little friend, who said, "health is the greatest gift. contentment, the greatest wealth. faithfulness, the best relationship." let's see the first draft. "health is the greatest gift. contentment the greatest health. faithfulness, the best relationship. and sierra mist,