listen to ad man chuck myron on older women s bodies, which offer contours aplenty, shapes galore, curves, mounds, crannies; afterwards you think about what you didn t get to yet. why does that seem so damn radical? why didn t we think of that? [laughter] let s not delude ourselves. this is the work of a lifetime. we need to embark on it at all ages, and with each other. but remember none of the stigma is natural and none of it is fixed. we can insist on being seen and on being valued as our full, rich, lumpy, complicated selves, and take that out into the world. [audience responds] ask for help. in india, where the vast majority of olders live with their families, lifelong, there is notng demeaning about receiving care and support of all kinds, including with toileting. imagine that. the terms and power dynamics are going to shift. we ve got time to practice. the goal is to give and receive with grace. no one is truly independent ever. i d like to just draw a line through every all this independent living, whatever, and swap it out, of course, for interdependence. [applause] autonomy yes