did you churro? did you churro? i mean, it was disgusting.ean, i'm not going to get into details. but -- >> jimmy: you are not going to last long around here, i'll tell you that. that is not part of the happiest place on earth. >> sorry. >> jimmy: hey, by the way, congratulations on the book being a big "new york times" best seller. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is -- a compilation -- you asked a number of people to give the best advice they ever got. >> that's right. one of my favorite essays is actually on page 229. >> jimmy: that would be my essay, i hope. wouldn't -- >> yes. >> jimmy: -- that be embarrassing if it wasn't. >> actually, it's solomon rushdie's, jimmy. i know. >> jimmy: you know, this is the first time solomon and i have ever been published together. >> how about that? >> jimmy: so this is exciting. yeah. >> i actually like his essay, but yours was very cute, because jimmy, you talked about sort of how your dad never took -- took you into your study and kind of sat you down like sheriff taylor did with opie, and g

>> me llevaste a comer churros. para cuidarlos y jugar con ellos, quiero cargarlos, llevarlos de viaje, hacer todo eso que alguna vez planeamos antes de casarnos, ¿recuerdas? >> sÍ, pero... ¿por quÉ de pronto decidiste ya no esperar? >> porque cuando me enamorÉ de ti tenÍa dos sueÑos, que fueras mi mujer y tener una familia contigo, ¿me vas a complacer? >> no esperaba que fuera tan pronto, pero me encanta darte el gusto, asÍ que... claro que sÍ, mi amor. >> si asÍ es, entonces podemos olvidarnos de estas pastillas de una vez. ¿y quÉ tal si empezamos...? >> ay, mi amor. es tarde, yo tengo que ir a ver a mi mamÁ, ya sabes cÓmo es y mi madrina me dijo que estaba muy preocupada por mi... pero si quieres, nos podemos ver temprano, voy a sacar una cita con la ginecÓloga. quiero que me revise para que todo estÉ bien y embarazarme bien rÁpido. >> estÁ bien, voy por mi saco. te acompaÑo a casa de tu mamÁ. >> muy bien, mi amor. [mÚsica] >> no sÉ a quién creerle, si a mi papÁ o a mariano, que obviamente tiene la versiÓn de la

>> i'm as fried as a churro. had some of that marijuana. it's prescription. it's for my diabetes.es. diabetes. dia-a-betes. you ever say a word so many times it loses all meaning. >> stephen: i have to work tomorrow. >> i won't take any more of your time. what do you think goes up inside a dish washer. i'm thinking about crawling up in there. >> stephen: don't. should i send someone over there? >> not unless they want to see a 76-year-old man eating oatmeal in the buff. the guy in the oatmeal box is look at me. >> stephen: i'm hanging up. >> colbert, wait. >> stephen: yes? >> i love you. >> stephen: thanks. i don't know what to -- what is that noise. >> (bleep). i gotta go. i put a dvd in my toaster oven to rewind it and now the breakfast nook is on fire. where is the extinguisher? put it out with oatmeal. now the oatmeal is on fire. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: kids, listen to your elders, they are a font of wisdom. and elders, lay off the d >> stephen:ç bell come back -- welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight has had tv shows on espn, msnbc and now current tv. i'm inter

let's hear it for greenland's -- green plains -- green lanes and churros. [applause] it is one of will to have a building that reduces carbon emissions. webcor has been building a foundation for cycling for the last 11 years by supporting 8350-member cycling team. we have a professional team. we set by women to the beijing olympics -- four women to the beijing olympics, and we have national champions. we have been very successful. now, we are advocating for cycling. commuting, for kids to be able to have a safe way to get to school, more bicycle lanes, a better understanding that there needs to be recognition of the cyclist and -- as a vulnerable user on our roads, and that is starting to change the laws to make that recognition, so we have roads now designed to recognize the fact that people ride bicycles on them and walk on them. transit-oriented villages where people can have the ability to walk, to cycle, get transit. that is what we believe the future looks like. san francisco has embraced that. it is wonderful to see the new bicycle lanes. when we wer

pardon >> sides churros are normally at an event that happened in the dead of night in remote locationsand now drivers have lowered the bar by driving in broad daylight. i was fought i found a lot of illegal sideshows. if you're not familiar with stretching it is called adonis. drifting is also an excellent way to mess up a car. this is a 580 freeway in richmond a sideshow. also the video i showed you a of the idiot going down 580 freeway is not the only video and the area. i am showing you this video of all lot of things the golan on highway. . what do you think about people sudden downpour sideshow. >> also you could always e- mail gary is on our web site there in >> a live look outside the bay bridge and and we will learn what how traffic is going and the rain moving into the area code. we will be right back. ho >> good morning it is now 5:00 a.m. a lot of news to reporters one firefighter lost his life. and also >> and we will have more cee dugard case. >> we're bracing for the rain as it continues >> coming from our roof cam work are looking for weather to look like this we're goin