not the character he has been so brilliantly performing on "the colbert report."n stephen takes over from david letterman, he won't have to rewrite himself but just go back to being himself as a performer and we will surely learn more about stephen colbert just as we will from dave when the subject of parenting comes up. >> let me ask you a specific question, and this comes right out of my life. when things go haywire in my house with my son it always seems to be my fault. [ laughter ] >> right. >> "why did you do that?" i was in the garage, i didn't do anything. >> here is stephen colbert as himself -- get used to it, now, you'll be seeing him more as himself next year -- giving some fatherly advice. >> i got four questions here. number one, this is from loretta, age 14. "i know most men are jerks but when guys, especially teenage guys, cat call and make jokes about rain do they know their behavior is harmful? is that why they do stuff like that or is it because society has taught them to be misogynistic?" i think, loretta, i think reason why boys do this kind of

she said his name. >> and the emmy goes to the colbert report. >> colbert. >> colbert report. >> colbert report. >> colbert. >> she could not read the words with all that blinding, reflectioning. >> well, i think she must not watch the show. >> or known ahead of time that she was going to say. >> she has like five, how many nominees, she could maybe do some research. we do that every day, we screw it up but we still try. >> sometimes i will even read ahead. >> rarely. >> adam le vine there know. >> he correct her. >> right away. >> right there, right away. >> robin williams remember last night by his good friend. i they they knew each other 35 or 40 years. billy crystal said this. >> the genius he was on stage, he was the greatest friend you could ever imagine. supportive, protective, loving. it is very hard to talk about him in the past because he was so present in all of our lives. for almost 40 years he was the brightest star in the comedy galaxy. >> boy that is for sure. >> robin won a couple emmys himself. >> then they moved on late night host jimmy kimmel provided some comic relief

(laughter) well, that concludes "stephen colbert's i need a drink," which didn't work. is too sobering. okay. shake it off, colbert. you're a pro. move on. move on. that's enough death and destruction. let's turn to something that evidently will never die and cannot be destroyed. sarah palin. (laughter) (cheers and applause) i've always been a huge fan of sarah palin. she's a strong leader with a proven history of selflessness. in the midst of her 2008 campaign, she took time to help out a struggling senior with severely impaired judgment. (laughter) and this week, in her continuing quest to remind america of her existence, palin announced a new project. >> hello and welcome to a new project. this is a news channel that really is a lot more than news. are you tired of the media filters? well, i am. i always have been, so we're gonna do something about it. we're gonna make this easy too. you can watch our channel right here on your computer, tablet or even on your smartphone. we'll talk about the issues that the mainstream media won't talk about and we'll look at the ide

hillary clinton drops in on stephen colbert making for a hilarious late night moment. >>> and good wednesday morning to you. great to have you with us. >>> well, there is shock and grief across the country this morning at the loss of a high learning more about general greene and his mission. he had just been sent to afghanistan after being promoted to deputy commander of training. it was supposed to be a routine visit to an afghan military academy tuesday, the general there to check on the progress of afghan troops in training. from an elevated position, the shooter, a member of the afghan security forces, strikes using an automatic weapon. general greene is hit, and more than a dozen others wounded. within seconds, american soldiers, so-called guardian angels, fire back killing the gunman. >> any form of trust between the afghans and the u.s. trainers has now been fully broken. probably an inside job set up by the taliban. >> reporter: greene is the first u.s. general to die in a war zone from hostile fire since vietnam. >> the loss of any life is tragic. no life is worth any more than anot

>> and the emmy goes to the colbert report. >> the colbert reporter. >> she said it wrong.nteresting. unbelievable. i want to see the envelope. i want to thank his wife and his children. they are just fantastic, and -- everyone's work on the show for the last nine years and, you know who you are. if you don't know who you are, go to imdb. it's comprehensive. >> the whole thing, he fed him a line to make him curse, and he did. they had to bleep him out. the great crime fighting duo, "true detective," they had with each other last evening. >> all right, all right, all right. come on back to the airstream after. i'll make the best margarita on this side of the all right g grande. >> i have said that. >> you won oscar, sexiest man alive, and now the emmy. isn't that greedy? >> you need to have gratitude for what you have and not envy what i do. >> they are having follow-uun. a few moments coming up. we have former ms. spain appearing to have made history being the first national beauty queen to come out as a lesbian. revealing the sexuality with this post of her and her girlfri

it is good to know that the colbert nation is standing strong no matter what happens all around the worldecause, folks, for months, the world has been shocked by the brutal terrorist group i.s.i.s. don't be fooled just because they have the same name your lonely aunt gave her cat. (laughter) these guys are pure evil. tv, scare us till it's brown downtown! >> i.s.i.s. is brutal? they are animals -- beheadings, crucifixions, mass executions or live burials, enlivement of women. they certainly aren't the j.v. team of al quaida. they're the green bay packers. >> stephen: yes, they're the green bay packers, but with beheadings. so slightly less head trauma than the n.f.l. and yes -- (applause) -- yes, the u.s. did hit i.s.i.s. with airstrikes in iraq. but that just drove them back into syria, where, last week they captured a major air base. although, i don't know what good that will do, since i'm guessing they're all on the "no fly" list. (laughter) think, guys! so who exactly is "is-is? (laughter) according to the "the new york times," the group has "the group has quietly built an effective m

this is "the colbert report"! captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ (eagle caw) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to "the report"! thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen, in here, out there, all around the world, nation, huge show tonight! i am either very happy about the emmys or wondering why i went. (laughter) either way, i cannot wait to find out how i am so hung over. oh, excuse me, hold on a second. my stover frozen dinner is ready! and, oh, kids! there's nothing i enjoy more than eating a nice, hot stouffer's family-size lasagna. after this, i will feel like i've got a baby in me! (laughter) and the reason i'm stouffin' my face is this crowd hails from the 78th installment from my 434th part series! ohio's 11th, includes the city of cleveland, founded by general moses cleveland in 1796. as of the 1800s, the city's population consisted of only three men -- a sociological condition known today as north dakota. in 1879, cleveland became

i'm proud to introduce my app steven-- stephen colbert, i'd tap that.ame begins (cheers and applause) the game begins when your avatar meets world famous celebrity stephen colbert and i greet with you my famous catch-phrase, give me $5. and unlike kim's game you have options am you can give me $5 or you can give me $10. that's if you write to c list friend level where you have the chance to give me $20. so folks, download now and start tapping your money my way. i need it. i'm just a few dollars short of the silver shutter shades. i need to get to be invited to kim's miami beach house. please notice me. please! we'll be right back. please notice me! (cheers and applause) (son) oh no... can you fix it, dad? yeah, i can fix that. (dad) i wanted a car that could handle anything. i fixed it! (dad) that's why i got a subaru legacy. (vo) symmetrical all-wheel drive plus 36 mpg. i gotta break more toys. (vo) introducing the all-new subaru legacy. it's not just a sedan. it's a subaru. ina bite size new ways. to enjoy the full size sensation of peppermint and ri

this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you very much, thank you, welcome to the report, everybody. good to have you with us. (cheers and applause) thanks, everybody. it's wonderful to be here. as i said, folks, folks, it's so good. it's so good. thank you. i think you know i need your energy, folks t is so good. it is so good to have you with us. and it's good to have me with you. please v a seat. because folks, i was on brake the last two weeks, finally got to some long delayed projects in my woodworking shop. i have been trying to make some really nice book ends am but i can never quite get them to match. so instead, i want won two emmies. (cheers and applause) you know what-- yeah, yeah. point is, the point is, folks, these are meaningless. and i will kill you if you try to take them. the point is, i'm back. which is good. because without me around for the past two weeks the w

this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause)

i would try to stop you from chanting but we know what happens when someone tries to stop the colbert nation. ( cheers ) these people are locked and loaded. folks, speaking of which, you know i'm a proud supporter of the second amendment. i consider it first among amendments that aren't the first one. ( laughter ) these days we gun advocates are being treated like common crim nalz. >> a 54-year-old research doctor arrested after he entered an airport terminal carrying an assault rifle. dr. peter steinmetz was carrying an ar-15 over his shoulder when he was taken into custody last week. he told police he visited the airport to simply buy a cup of coffee. ( laughter ) >> stephen, of course. you gotta go to the airport for coffee. airports are to coffee as bus stations are to nachos. ( laughter ) and, yes, steinmetz may have pointed an ar-15 assault rifle

> what did she say colbert. >> colbert report. >> yes. >> adam le vine correctly her. she looks good. >> she looks great. >> she just had her third baby by the way. >> but, that is questionable how would you not know it is colbert report. how would she not have have her it. >> maybe a possibility that she has never seen it. it is colbert report. >> yes, don't they rehearse these things. they can't probably. >> well, you can get through all of the possible winners in that category. >> yes. >> you should know the names. >> you should know colbert. >> yes, i don't know shall maybe he will change it to the colbert report. >> i hope he does a spoof on it. >> undoubted he will. >> beauty is in the eye of the behold error is it really. what doctors are noticing in their offices that they are blaming on selfies. >> jen freddie's on the green with the young golfer you will get to know. >> this is the the story of the week right here. >> story of the week, linwood country club has what i believe to be the future of golf tommy and his dad joe making it happen. you will be surpris

come join us. >> you and colbert.the hotel has to be right. you can get a 4-star hotel for up to 60% off, even at the last minute. in the neighborhood where we wanna go? yes. you just won't the name until after you book. hmm. ooh. definitely. it's all about sleep. it's not all about sleep. yeah, well, for me it is. lucky me. ♪ the heavy lifters.ers. just for men does more than get rid of gray, your facial hair looks fuller, thicker, the best beard ever. after all, you're not just a champion of saturday afternoons.... you're a champion of facial hair. just for men mustache and beard. ♪ honey, we need to talk. we do? i took the trash out. i know. and thank you so much for that. i think we should get a medicare supplement insurance plan. right now? [ male announcer ] whether you're new to medicare or not, you may know it only covers about 80% of your part b medical expenses. it's up to you to pay the difference. so think about an aarp medicare supplement insurance plan, insured by unitedhealthcare insurance company. like

hillary clinton drops in on stephen colbert making for a hilarious late night moment. >>> and good wednesday morning to you. great to have you with us. >>> well, there is shock and grief across the country at the loss of a high ranking army official in afghanistan. >> major general harold greene gunned down by u.s. trained afghan security forces. he's now the most senior u.s. officer killed in action since the pentagon attack on 9/11. here's abc's tahman bradley. >> reporter: a two-star american general, harold greene, gunned down by an afghan soldier. his northern virginia neighborhood is stunned. >> it's a shock and it's awful, the way that happened. somebody pulled a gun that was supposed to be on his side. just terrible. >> reporter: this morning, we're learning more about general greene and his mission, he had just been sent to afghanistan after being promoted to deputy commander of training. it was supposed to be a routine visit to an afghan military academy tuesday, the general there to check on the progress of afghan troops in training. from an elevated position, the shooter, a membe

purina dog chow light & healthy. ♪ >>> it takes a lot to get stephen colbert to drop this colbert reporteenage guys do stuff make cat calls and stuff about rape do they know that they're behavior is harmful? i think the reason why boys do this kind of stuff is to get your attention, and i would say please don't do that because i really don't like it it. now that i've solved that problem, there's this boy, he's kind of mean to you and he lies to me a lot. if he lies to you and mean to you, he may like you, but he's definitely not treating you very i would not waste my time with somebody who lies to you. kick him to the curb. i would really like to know all the ways in which you can tell when a person likes you. people show they like you in all kind of different ways. they want to hear your stories. they care how you feel. they want to make your date better. they want to listen to your problems. they reach out to you. smile when they see you. ask you your problems. those are good signs that they like you. one definition of love is i think is that another person's happiness is more importan

. >>> coming up, steven colbert fires up the way-back machine next in the sideshow. this is "hardball," the place for politics. or tough on stains. how about... both? new tide pods free and gentle free of dyes and perfumes with a deeper clean than the leading free detergent. that's still gentle on skin. new tide pods free and gentle. pop in the best of both worlds. >>> this good man was forced from office by his blood-thirsty enemies who, according to a partial list prepared by nixon were everyone. the scandal was called watergate, so explosive some call it watergategate. >> back to "hardball." time for the sideshow. that was steve colbert who dedicated his show to the former president richard nixon for the 40th anniversary of his resignation this week. colbert went to great lengths to retro-fit his set to fit the period of the '70s creating a show within a show to mimic the look and feel of network news broadcasts of the mid 19 # 0s. everything from the color scheme, the backdrop to the sideburns and incessant cigarette smoking. heaven had a new logo and a graphics

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. >>> plus hillary's surprise appearance on stephen colbert. >>> the california wildfires are about to get a whole lot tougher to put out. we'll show you that too. this is first look on msnbc. [ female announcer ] we help make secure financial tomorrows a reality for over 19 million people. [ susan ] my promotion allowed me to start investing for my retirement. transamerica made it easy. [ female announcer ] everyone has a moment when tomorrow becomes real. transamerica. transform tomorrow. transamerica. since robert taira openedsion king's hhis first bakeryd, in a small hawaiian town. making bread so good, that people bought two loaves one to take home, and one to eat on the way. so good, they grew from here. to here. to here. but to grow again, to the east coast they needed a new factory, but where? fortunately, they get financing from ge capital. we not only have teams dedicated to the food industry, we're also part of ge, a company that's built hundreds of factories. so we could bring in experts to help king's hawaiian make sense of transportation routes, supply chains, labor pools

. >>> coming up, steven colbert fires up the way-back machine next in the sideshow.his is "hardball," the place for politics. being the new kid on the block can be intimidating. take your kids on a walk through the online neighborhood. show them sites you feel are acceptable. teach them how to deal with cyber bullies and encourage them to navigate safely. the more you know. if energy could come from anything?. or if power could go anywhere? or if light could seek out the dark? what would happen if that happens? anything. eachwon't have a claim.wners that's why allstate claim free rewards gives you money back for every year you don't have one. and why if you're part of the other 5%, allstate offers claim rateguard. so your rates won't go up just because of a claim. no matter what comes your way, your home protects you. ...protect it back allstate home insurance from an allstate agent. life with crohn's disease ois a daily game of "what if's". what if my abdominal pain and cramps come back? what if the plane gets delayed? what if i can't hide my symptoms? what if? but

, brand-new daughter of colbert report graphics designer bill marco. wizards who traches reality and digitally enhances it until it is to my liking. what a beautiful family. so congratulations to bill, his wife katie and eva. coy not be happier if i were riding on a flying tiger with kate upton an donald trump. bill, get back to work. good night. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ i'm going down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ hold still, ike. we have to get you dressed. where the heck is kyle? i don't know. come on, kyle! you're gonna be late for jew scouts! [ humming ] kyle! i'm coming, ma! [ doorbell rings ] go get t

peaceful world, park foundation, dedicated to heightening public awareness of critical issues, the colbert foundation and by our sole corporate sponsor, mutual of america, that's why we're your retirement company. >> welcome. if you had trouble sorting through the decisions released by the supreme court led by chief justice john roberts, you have come to the right place. two of the most knowledgeable in journalism are here to help decode the implications of those 5-4 rulings on public prayer, organized labor and the hobby lobby case. that's the decision that certain companies on religious grounds do not have to provide health insurance for some forms of birth control. linda greenhouse covered the supreme court for "the new york times" for 30 years and still writes a biweekly column for that paper. she's a lecturer at the yale law school. dalia litwick is a senior editor where she writes supreme court dispatches columns. currently she's working on a book about the four women who have served as supreme court justices. welcome to you both. >> thank you. >> you have covered the court since 197

now he jokes about his problem with stephen colbert. >> we stossels have problems, stuttering. like many we get help through experiments. which experiments work? >> we just have to try things. >> let us experiment. that's our show tonight. i realize that my own life has taught me a lesson about the problems of limited government. one that doesn't have so many rules. it doesn't prevent from you trying experiments. i can stand up right now because i have tried some experiments and i can speak to you only because i tried dozens of experiments. on i'll cover speaking first. i'm a stutterer. sometime when i speak i block on a word. are you -- busy? they become real stuttersers. >> i would stay silent in class. i avoided parties. when i was old enough to date, sometime i would call a girl and try to speak but nothing came out. i just try to hang out. now because of caller i.d., callers can't do that. when i got a job at a tv station, i never expected to go on tv. when i finally did, i stuttered so badly that i wanted to quit. i tried all kinds of therapies. all these experts that sai

colbert asked cooper where do you get your opinions from. anderson says i report facts, i'm not an opinion guy. steven colbert shakes his head and waves finger and says i don't like facts. facts can change. and my opinions will never change. this evening, we guarantee you will hear new facts and some of your opinions may change. mr. cowan, the floor is yours. [ applause ] >> oh, you're all here. how nice. we'll start with fact one. fact one, this place is jammed. filled. why? because you're all fascinated with richard nixon. not because he necessarily did great things for the country, but you're fasz nated by the personality. 40 years ago, he resigned. one step ahead of almost certain impeachment. this past weekend washington post, there were a number of reviews. there are a lot of books out now about nixon. bob woodward who knows a lot about nixon, interviewed john dean. i want read you some of the words that woodward writes about nixon. he says that nixon and the watergate ranks as the most consequence shl, self-infliblgting wound of 20th