now, at the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( ch

stephen colbert: hey are you still awake? butt too hey do you know that if you eat too many carrots you turn orange? michelle obama: really! stephen colbert: yea and if you turn really orange you start saying crazy things and run for president. congressman heck's become part of the problem in washington. heck voted to protect perks for politicians like himself, at taxpayer expense and voted members of congress, like himself, taxpayer-funded healthcare for life. heck even voted to allow congressmen to take their pay during a government shutdown. congressman heck is what's wrong with washington. dscc is responsible woman: here in nevada, those were the worst days of our lives, and congressman heck called it "a blip." narrator: in 2008, joe heck called nevada's housing crisis "a blip on the radar." that's just how out of touch joe heck is. narrator: after heck sponsored a bill giving tax breaks to big banks, he took over $500,000 from wall street-- and families like mine get left behind. narrator: afscme people is responsible a

i am stephen colbert. welcome to "the late show." i am stephen colbert. i don't know if you guys have been watching the news this afternoon while waiting for the show to start, but this campaign has been unusual from the start, but today it jumped the z.-train to weerdzville, because donald trump went to mexico. quick, build the wall! ( cheers and applause ) i'll pay for it! ( cheers and applause ) here's the deal. here's what happened here. trump was invited to mexico by their president enrique pena nieto, which is a little strange since nieto has previously compared trump to hitler and mussolini, which explains why the invitation asked trump to choose chicken, fish, hitler or mussolini. now, the two men met in private, but we at "the late show"" have obtained exclusive dpootage of their summit. >> stephen: that's rough stuff, but, you know, it's what trump gets for sleeping with pena nieto's lover while he was in a coma. now, i am surprised really that trump would go someplace so dangerous. and i don't mean the drug gangs. i mean people down there love

he's a guest on the late show with stephen colbert right here on cbs3.'s video of bubba chuck on the set right there. getting ready to suit, going back to the sweatsuit. he had a big weekend in springfield for the basketball hall of fame. the late show with stephen colbert and alan iverson check it out. 11:35? >> yes. >> coming up >> phillies and pirates. game three of four game series picking up in the second inning, freddy galvis having a career year, deep left field and gone. his 19th of the season. 2-0 phillies to the 6th tommy joseph. solo shot giving back to the bleacher creature in left field. the philly, a 6-2 win. that was number 19 for joseph as well. >>> we now know what the game of the week will be for the friday football frenzy. three great candidates but it will be timber creek at cherokee. sure to tune in to cbs3 to watch friday. a rugby tournament in australia for kids nine years old or younger. that kid right there. >> that kid, that like >> did you hear somebody in the crowd? my goodness. >> he's -- he's a teenager >> he needs to be mov

he's a guest on the late show with stephen colbert right here on cbs3.re's video of bubba chuck on the set right there. getting ready to suit, going back to the sweatsuit. he had a big weekend in springfield for the basketball hall of fame. the late show with stephen colbert and alan iverson check it out. 11:35? >> yes. >> coming up >> phillies and pirates. game three of four game series picking up in the second inning, freddy galvis having a career year, deep left field and gone. his 19th of the season. 2-0 phillies to the 6th tommy joseph. solo shot giving back to the bleacher creature in left field. the philly, a 6-2 win. that was number 19 for joseph as well. >>> we now know what the game of the week will be for the friday football frenzy. three great candidates but it will be timber creek at cherokee. sure to tune in to cbs3 to watch friday. a rugby tournament in australia for kids nine years old or younger. that kid right there. >> that kid, that like >> did you hear somebody in the crowd? my goodness. >> he's -- he's a teenager >> he needs to be m

and now, from the ed sullivan theater in newci stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! hey, everybody! whooo! thank you, joseph. >> jon: hey! i know.

. >> stephen colbert are colbert played a check on fans at wrigley field this week. he dressed up as just up as a hot northwest university in second city and said it was the big time cubs fans. how do you get a hot dog from stephen colbert and have no idea until now? let's check your weather one last time here. >> we are already warming up lower 70s today lower '80s midweek we will get it back in the normal territory before we get a few showers and thunderstorms from sunday and cool things back down as he two next week. all in all it was a great week wednesday i don't have much to really worry about it's raining and close down a bit. indigo back of their did you have your tooth tooth pulled out in a cooler? >> my dad did players it was already coming out obviously like that one but that still and ?? this is "jeopardy!" here are today's contestants -- a law-school professor and administrator from brooklyn, new york... a technical writer from denver, colorado... and our returning champion, a paralegal from washington, d.c... [ applause ] and now here is the host of "je

i'm stephen colbert. as most people probably know -- i'm not telling any tales out of school here -- all famous people my heart goes out to my best friend i haven't met yet, drake, who -- and this is scary -- this week had his tour bus robbed of $3 million in jewelry. 3 million in jewelry! i've never thought to ask this before, but, drake, are you a pirate? ( laughter ) okay, now, i feel bad for drake, but he really should have seen this one coming, especially p.s.a. about the hot line you call if someone takes your blame. ( laughter ) i've never listened to the lyrics before. any college students here tonight? ( cheering ) well, got some bad news for some of you, because this week, i.t.t. tech shut down all its schools. yeah, yeah, i know. i did not see this coming. i mean, we're talking about t. stands for international telephone and telegraph. who could have predicted they would go out of business? i should have seen this coming because i.t.t. have been plagued with problems, fraud charges from the sec

. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes first lady michelle obama. and america ferrera. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! how captioning sponsored by cbs are you? >> stephen: welcome to "the late show," everybody. good to see you, jon. ( cheers ) thanks so much, everybody. nice. what lovely people here. amazing. please, thank you so much for being here. welcome to "the late show." up there, down here, all around. good to see you. these people are alive on this planet. thank you for being here. welcome to "the late show,"" i'm stephen colbert. there is with a loved one tonight. i have terrible news-- angelina and brad pitt are getting a divorce. that's right, no more brangelina. they're just going to be "jelina" and "bran." here's what happened. the divorce papers were filed yesterday in los angeles superior court, citing "irreconcilable attractiveness." ( laughter ) now, why di

it seems the magic -- >> it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, stephen welcomes chris featuring jon batiste and "stay human." now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs >> stephen: hey, everybody! ( cheers app welcome to "the late show." hey! what's going on?! i'm stephen colbert. thank you so much. thank you, my friend. paul, what's going on? hey, jesse. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. how's everybody doing? feeling all right? ( cheers and applause ) wow, that is good to hear in new york city. thankfully, no one was killed, and everyone who was injured is out of the hospital. ( cheers and applause ) at this point, can't we assume that any new yorker buying a pressure cooker is up to no good? ( laughter ) no one who lives here cooks. in fact, if you don't have a seamless account, the f.b.i. has some questions for you. ( laughter ) one reason more people weren't hurt is that this guy is this -- is that this jerk left duffle bags on the street and two bomb

and now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert!

colbert is up next, have a great weekend. captioning sponsored by cbs >> we've got a great show tonight. harry connick jr. will be here. stick around. >> hey, big b t hoagie. introducing the late show celebrity chat line. where the hottest stars are ready to talk to you. >> well, most people know me from this thing. but i was also in another thing that you've seen. yes, that's right. i was in that thing, too. >> a third "sister act" movie. would you like that? celebs want to make it happen. >> hey, there, i'm tony. do you want to know what i do? i play a masculine character. >> he's a great, great actor, and i would love to work with him again. >> she's sexy talk show guests are standing by to fulfill your most forbidden, behind-the-scenes fantasies. >> what am i i'm wearing a designer suit. my publicist picked it out, and it's much nicer than the other things i wear in my daily life. >> what are you waiting for. our operators are standing by with banter, stories from knowing stephen back in chicago, and details about their s

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>> thank you very much, stephen colbert!vely guest to have. >> thank you. >> stephen: before we go any further, morgan freeman, can i ask what i am orlando 2016 means? >> this has to do with the "invictus" games, the wounded warriors "invictus" games started by prince harry. he did. it was him. >> stephen: are you competing in the games this year? >> not this year, no. >> stephen: were you an athlete when you were younger? did you compete in athletics when you were younger? >> no. >> stephen: all right. let's move on. >> okay. >> stephen: do you know what you are a champion at? >> no. >> stephen: the arts, because you just received -- this is fantastic, a goal nor any artist -- you just received the highest award the united states can give to any artist, the national medal of arts -- ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that's pretty exciting. how did you find out you were getting it? >> i -- uh -- >> stephen: am i telling you right now for the first time? >> no, i usually get a call. >> stephen: was his name barack? >> no, h

. >>> "late show with stephen colbert" is next. have a great weekend. see you back here monday morning. don't forget, news starts early tomorrow morning. ning sponsored by cbs >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes bruce springsteen featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! hey, everybody! whooo! thank you, joseph. >> jon: hey! i know. >> stephen: hey!

captioning sponsored by cbs >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert."hen welcomes bruce springsteen featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! hey, everybody! whooo! thank you, joseph. >> jon: hey! i know. >> stephen: hey!

. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert. tonight, jessica alba, bradley whitford and george takei, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ? >> stephen: hey! hey, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) oh! woo-hoo! man! ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much! thank you very much! welcome to the "late show." thank you so much. please v a seat! thank you so much. you're very kind! welcome to "the late show." i'm your shows stephen colbert. the first presidential debate is monday, september 26. we will be live. join us, won't you? ( cheers and applause ) it's going to be a lot of fun. but, last night, they held like an appetizer debate. an amuse douche, if you will. ( laughter ) it was called the "commander-in-chief forum." hillary clinton and donald trump answering questions about national security. it was the first time the two of them were in the same room since trump's wedding. ( laughter ) it took place right here in new yor

and now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: nice to see you! ( cheers ) hey, everybody! what's up, man? >> stephen: >> jon: what's happening. >> stephen: good to see you. nice to see you. welcome to "the late show." thanks, everybody. i like your little dance. hey, welcome to the "late i'm stephen colbert. wow! it has been a rough week for hillary clinton. she has been dropping in the polls, and over the weekend, even her immune system turned against her. no surprise-- all the white blood cells are voting for trump. ( laughter ) i'll have to-- thank you very much. >> jon: hey! whoa! >> stephen: probably, probably. thank you very much. yes. that deserves it. i'll have more about hillary's but most damaging of all may have been a remark she made at a fundraiser on friday when describing trump's voters. >> to just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of trump's supporters into what i call the "basket of deplorables." ( laughter ) i'm sorry-- ( applause ) the "basket of deplorables?" wow. hillary should put her i