media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> folksing i'm here to a absolute the heroes at colbert nation.coman site. you folks at colbert nation.com have made me a labor of love so like a mother eagle soaring over her young, i will be watching you. (cheers and applause) ( applause ) ( theme song playing ) -tonight, john edwards spends $400 on a haircut. in other news, dennis kucinich spends $100 on a suit. plus, i sit down with oscar-winning actor sean penn. now if only he would act like an american. then sean and i face off in the first ever battle of the metaphors. english departments, start your vcrs. a dozen means 12. learn to count, bakers. this is "the colbert report." [theme music] [eagle screeches] [applause] -ladies and gentlemen, thank you. [applause and cheers] -that reception was so thunderous, i might have to have myself checked for ruptures. welcome to the show. nation, i am the cat that ate the canary, and i'm sitting in the catbird seat, and i am the cat's meow. because tonight is my long awaited metaphor-off with sean penn. he will be my casualty of war! carlito is gonna do