on attempts to influence the election by a shadowy organization armed with unlimited money, colbert superpac. now folks, i don't want to brag but we have raised enough cash for me to hire a team of professional braggers. and one of those donations came from two little kids, charlie and grace, 8 and 10, who sent me $13, and a note that meant almost as much as their money. (laughter) >> jim. >> they want to do a lemonade stand for the superpac. they wrote mom says we can't do a lemon said stand for it until you decide what the superpac stands for so let us know. (laughter) kids ask the darnedest questions that the press generally doesn't. so what do we stand for? i asked you to tell me at colbert superpac.com, 53,000 of you responded and i used your answers to create a word cloud. it turns out the things people care about most, people. kind of self-involved. but i dug deeper and i created another word cloud of the words you used with people. and the next most commonly used word, corporations, right there. that can mean only one of two things. and i choose to ignore one of them. leaving only on

(laughter) now folks, everybody knows i'm the head of colbert superpac. (cheers and applause) so to a vote the appearance of coordinating with republican presidential back runner buddy roemer, when he was on my show, i was forced to wear an isolation bucket on my head. now luckily one group out there found a way to work with a candidate without coordinating with them. then the nebraska democratic party. they've spent over $600,000 on an ad campaign starring senator ben nelson. i assume most of that paid for the trained marmot playing his hair. now normally, folks, to support a candidate state partiesd $240,000. well, it turns out, and i did not know this, $600,000 is more than $240,000. (laughter) so i may have overbid on that rare penny where lincoln's head was upside down. (laughter) but folks, turns out the limits don't apply here because the democrats were functioning as an independent organization engaged in issue advocacy. in this case, the democrats are not really a political party, something i think we all suspected. but remember, independent grou

well, i don't see any reason why we in the colbert superpac can't become playas with the wall street occupyyas by throwing our cash around. so recently i went down there to make them an offer i couldn't refuse. last night i showed you part one. tonight, in a surprise twist, part two. (laughter) jim? >> previously on stephen colbert occupies occupy wall street. i went deep undercover in zucotti park and i met two young rebels-- justin and ketchup. i invited them to my penthouse suite and offered to co-opt the movement for their own well-being. (laughter) i worry about you especially, justin. ketchup can take care of herself. she's tough. i'm not worried about ketchup. she looks like she can take some punishment. you, justin, you i'm worry about. you're fragile. let me be your sugar daddy. and now dramatic conclusion of my co-occupation. you have something i want. i'll be open. you have a movement. i wanted in on the tea party but i dragged my feet and dick armey jumped on it with freedom works and i feel like a tool for not getting a piece of that. what do i need to do? whatever whate

(cheers and applause) so suffolk county, colbert superpac is willing to cover that $660.cheers and applause) that's right, kids. i saved christmas and all santa has to do is come on my show and say that corporations are people. (laughter) and not naughty people, nice ones. i want to check the list. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thanks very much. tonight is the anchor of "saturday night live's" weekend update, i can't wait to hear him say "jane, you ignorant slut." please welcome seth meyers. (cheers and applause) >> what what a pleasure, i'm a huge fan. >> thank you very much. >> listen, this interview is going to have a honeymoon period and then there's going to be hammer time. your pick, hammer time or honeymoon? >> honeymoon. >> stephen: no, hammer time! that's what makes it hammer time. you don't get to choose. no honeymoon. what's your angle over there at s.n. sflvplt >> our ang? >> east coast ivy league liberal elites. >> our staff is made up of.... >> stephen: east coast ivy league... ivy league school in >> northwe

(cheers and applause) so suffolk county, colbert superpac is willing to cover that $660.cheers and applause) that's right, kids. i saved christmas and all santa has to do is come on my show and say that corporations are people. (laughter) and not naughty people, nice ones. i want to check the list. we'll be right back. like so many great pioneers before me, guided only by a dream. i'm embarking on a journey of epic proportion. i will travel, from sea to shining sea, through amber waves of grain, and i won't stop until i've helped every driver in america save hundreds on car insurance. well i'm out of the parking lot. that's a good start. geico, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent, or more on car insurance. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thanks very much. tonight is the anchor of "saturday night live's" weekend update, i can't wait to hear him say "jane, you ignorant slut." please welcome seth meyers. (cheers and applause) >> what what a pleasure, i'm a huge fan. >> thank you very much. >> listen, this interview is going to have a hon

in that case, nation, colbert superpac needs your help now more than ever.to reaching our goal of more money. and folks, it has come to my attention that i am about to be accused of sexual harassment. i do don't know why, maybe because i'm irish. let's find out the details. jay, get out here. jay the intern, everybody. good to see you, how are you, buddy. >> good. >> stephen: now jay, i'm unaware of ever sexually harassing you. are you unaware of that also. >> i'm not supposed to talk about that because of the agreement. >> stephen: right, right that is one of the things that i am unaware of. you can't talk about it with that pretty little mouth of yours. >> i got to go on a coffee run. >> stephen: you stay right there, jay. not that i don't enjoy watching you walk away. remember, folks, colbert superpac.com is now taking donations. (cheers and applause) okay, jay, as per our agreement, you have to maintain your an on imity, okay so, let's get that an on imity mask on you. just put that on. okay. (laughter) there you go. looks good. all right, jay, now i cer