colletta... bène, bne. bène. ah. bella. bye-bye.you want to come to america and give me a shower, it's fine with me. giorgio, i'll see you, okay? no, nothin', it's ah, it's just -- debra: hey, where's robert? oh, robérto. oh, boy, stefania. must you be leaving so soon? yes. yes, i must. i will miss you. me too. maybe u can come a visit me in america sometime. bring your father along for laughs. here, for you. you don't have to pay me. you throw a coin in the water. it means some day you return to làgo di bracciano. you would like that? would i like that? aspetta, aspetta. cosí. sí, cosí. bràvo. [ laughing ] my credit cards... and traveler's checks. [ laughing ] roberto. [ sighs ] okay. all right, everybody, i'm sorry. mi dispiace. aunt colletta, mílle grazie, huh? ciao, ciao. thank you. hey, did you say goodbye to gelato lollobrigida? all right, dad. grazie! colletta: sí, sí. [ sighs ] che launa mezzo mare mama mia me maritari ♪ all: ♪ figghia mia, a cu te dari mamma mia pensaci tu ♪ ♪ o mamma, piscia fritta baccala ♪ ♪ o mamma, pis

and colletta's gonna watch the kids. yeah, great. i hate this damn thing! no pressure! it's like a third-world country. stupid place! would you lighten up?! look where we are! i am lookin'. i'm takin' a bath like columbus. how 'bout that giorgio guy? what? i saw him drinkin' my listerine -- that's what. whole place is annoying. you got to change money. that's a scam. nobody sees that? how can they not see that? say what you want about new jersey -- aaah! aaah! ray! turn it down! well, how did it get on?! aaah! hey! are you crazy?! i'm taking a shower! dammelo! oh, my god! oh, god! alza il braccio! no! alza il braccio! i would do what she says, ray. no! alza il braccio! could everybody leave, please?! you want me to get the video camera? alza il braccio! no! will you stop hitting me?! all right? you can't do this to me. i'm an american. alza il braccio! alza il braccio! this wasn't in the brochure. marie: oh, here comes giorgio with the car. look how cute. okay. we're all gettin' in that? good luck, sweetie. ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha! eh... i don't thin

i've been in touch with my mother's cousin colletta, [ hans ] warm, flakey, gooey.e outside of rome. and we're invited. and i'm paying -- the whole family! me too? of course you, dear! you're family! oh! ha ha! ha ha ha ha! oh! me too? yes, yes, and the kids, too! everyone. you know, maybe i can tell my lady troubles to the pope. marie: look at it. it's a little, tiny village... oh, my god! oh, my god! this is unbelievable! all right, stop dancing. do you understand that this is a vacation with my family? don't we want a vacation from my family? if they're gonna bother me anyway, i'll take bothered in italy. ha ha ha! we were -- we were gonna go to the jersey shore. italy... free trip to italy. well, i don't know. i'm not really interested in other cultures. [ laughing ] okay. you know, i-in the past, your...dumbness has gotten in the way of just, like, a few things that i've wanted to do -- the book club, theater, having conversations. but i just want to say this one thing,? and we won't have to discuss it anymore. you're not blowin' this for mepal! we're goin' to