. >> conan o'brien. >> how many times has he been caught in love? >> i'm just giving you the answers. don't screw with this, okay. >> this is "piers morgan tonight." >> conan o'brien is very tall, very talented, very irish and perhaps the funniest man with red hair on the entire planet. he's been voted the fourth funniest episode of "simpsons" of all time. you are a man of manial ents aren't you? >> yes, i am. you didn't even scratch the surface. i have a high falsetto. beautiful. i sing like an angel. i'm hairless, completely hairless, my body. there's many things. >> what is the genuinely weirdest thing about you that nobody knows? >> wow, that's a good one. the weirdest thing about me that nobody knows. i can be amusing at times. i'm on television constantly. since 1993, i'm on tv for a chunk of time every day. i'm not looking for more ways to be on television. and no one in america seems to want me to be on more. so i'm trying to, if anything, pull it back. but i couldn't resist this. you have this beautiful, lucite desk. it's very nice. it's li

>> conan o'brien as you never have seen him before. >> we're go to the spa together. it was your idea. >> here doesn't hold back. >> that's the dumbest thing anyone has said to me. >> how many times has he been proper flee love. >> i am giving you the answers that will make it all okay. don't screw with this. >> this is piers morgan tonight. . >> conan o'brien is tall and talented and irish and perhaps the funniest man with red hair on the planet. she an ordained minster and the fourth funniest episodes of all time. you are a man of many talents. >> yes, i am. thank you so much for noticing. you didn't even scratch the surface. i have a high fal cetto and i sing like an angel. i'm hairless on my body. there is many things aerodynamic. >> what is the genuinely weirdest thing about you. >> that's a good one. the weirdest thing about me that nobody knows. i can be amusing at times. it seems to have escaped people's notice. >> you haven't done a lot of interviews. i have been trueing to lure you for 18 months. a desperate attempt to lure you in. >> i don't do a lot becaus

late the late show with conan o'brien become the late, late show.ere's more, but he gets kind of mean. you get absolutely buried by the number one critic. >> that was the nice part, yeah. >> and when you read that, what did you el? >> i think it kind of was a weird elation. >> no, i always respond inappropriately. you know, at the time, it's devastating, you know, to who can read something like that and not be devastated. i've never thought about my eyes the same way again. >> they are beady like. >> thank you. i'm having them completely redone. it's a very rare operation you can get. i'll talk about it later. but i remembered, at the time, you know, there was an intense amount of criticism, think about it, replacing david letterman at the height of his abilities. and i always said it was like one of the greatest baseball players ever, ted williams, departing the field. >> you're not going to tell me about replacing tv legends. >> exactly. but someone like ted williams leaving the field after a bril yant career and ervelg going crazy and cheering an

jackson and conan o'brien. they said outrageous things. play both and let mcguirk and gutfeld loose on them in just a few moments. sleep train's inventory clearance sale is ending soon. save 10%, 20%, even 35% on a huge selection of simmons and sealy clearance mattresses. get 2 years interest-free financing on tempur-pedic. even get free delivery! sleep train stacks the savings high to keep the prices low. but hurry, the inventory clearance sale is ending soon. superior service, best selection, lowest price, guaranteed. ♪ sleep train ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪ >> bill: back ever the book segment tonight. actor samuel l. jackson. good actor. big obama fan has read a poem in support of the president. sorry my friend no time to snore. out-of-touch millionaire has just began war on schools, environment, unions and fair pay. we are all on our own if romney has his way. he is against safety nets, if you fall, tough luck. so i strongly suggest that you wake the [bleep] up. >> bill: oh. now number one we all should have hats like th

past and past part of sneak. >> look at me, i'm conan o'brien.h my feet up on the desk and phone in the show. well, by god, i've got a couple of words for you. you better get your act together! >> so some skits from the late show. you've done thousands of interviews now and thousands of monologues. if i said you've got five minutes left to live, you can relive any moment from any of those shows. >> so this is the positive part of the interview, i've got five minutes left to live. >> yeah, you've got five minutes left to live. what would you go for. >> which guest? >> or a moment or something where you thought it defined or you for whatever reason was particularly memorable. >> okay. well, you know, i did a very silly remote once where we found a group of baseball players that play baseball in late 19th century rules. they do it in the costume with the mustaches. so i went out and put on the mustache and spoke in that sort of turn of the century baseball and it was so me. i've always said whenever i go, don't even give a eulogy, just show that pie

jackson and conan o'brien. they said outrageous things. play both and let mcguirk and gutfeld loose on them in just a few moments. >> bill: back ever the book segment tonight. actor samuel l. jackson. good actor. big obama fan has read a poem in support of the president. sorry my friend no time to snore. out-of-touch millionaire has just began war on schools, environment, unions and fair pay. we are all on our own if romney has his way. he is against safety nets, if you fall, tough luck. so i strongly suggest that you wake the [bleep] up. >> bill: oh. now number one we all should have hats like that. i didn't think of that should i should have. what do you think of that preparation. that's designed to sway hearts and minds. >> this is how the left works. they are dishonest. everything he said was not true but it was charming, and what it is is politics in hollywood is a high school. you have got to vote for the cool kid. if you are not cool they come after you. >> you went to high school in, what, beverly hills or something? >> sarah high

jackson and conan o'brien. they said outrageous things.both and let mcguirk and gutfeld loose on them in just a few moments. ♪ ♪ ♪ we're lucky, it's not every day you find a companion as loyal as a subaru. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. like in a special ops mission? you'd spot movement, gather intelligence with minimal collateral damage. but rather than neutralizing enemies in their sleep, yoargeting stocks to trade. well, that's what trade architect's heat maps do. they make you a trading assassin. trade architect. td ameritrade's empowering web-based trading platform. trade commission-free for 60 days, and we'll throw in up to $600 when you open an account. >> bill: back ever the book segment tonight. actor samuel l. jackson. good actor. big obama fan has read a poem in support of the president. sorry my friend no time to snore. out-of-touch millionaire has just began war on schools, environment, unions and fair pay. we are all on our own if romney has his way. he is against safety nets, if you fall, tough luck. so i strongly

jackson and conan o'brien. they said outrageous things. loose on them in just a few moments. small business crit card! pizza!!!!! [ garth ] olaf's small business earns 2% cash back on every purchase, everday! helium delivery. put it on my spark card! [ pop! ] [ garth ] why settle for less? great businesses deserve the most rewards! awesome!!! [ male announcer ] the spark business card from capitalne. choose unlimited rewards with 2% cash back or double miles on every purchase, every day! what's in your wallet? droid does. and does it launch apps by voice while learning your voice ? launch cab4me. droid does. keep left at the fork. does it do turn-by-turn navigation ? droid does. with verizon, america's largest 4g lte network, and motorola, droid does. get $100 off select motorola 4g lte smartphones like the droid razr. >> bill: back ever the book segment tonight. actor samuel l. jackson. good actor. big obama fan has read a poem in support of the president. sorry my friend no time to snore. out-of-touch millionaire has just began war on sc

yeah, special greetings to conan o'brien behind you, with the magnificent hair do.e shuttle program over, astronauts these days have to hitch a ride with our former cold war russians. sunny doesn't mind that, pointing out they launched on the test project, the first ever joint-american russian flight. >> it sort of was the first step in our international friendship. and i think we have come a long way. i consider the guys here my brothers. >> and they do live like a family there, joe acaba is the other member on the space station, returning to earth this weekend. joe, how do you describe the station there? is it like a small new york city apartment or a small ranch house? what is it like? well, i think this place is bigger than the place i live in, in houston, like a five-bedroom house. >> the space station makes 16 orbits around the earth every day, they know there are folks down here who track their orbits and watch the fly-byes. >> we do appreciate it, we're working hard, this is an amazing laboratory, and we can't do it without everybody's support. so we hope wh

he even danced on the conan o'brien show perhaps the reason he is so good at this is his dedication toraining and that hard work and determination doesn't go unnoticed by fellow dancers he is such a hard worker and a lot of people look up to him. peter's coach of two years believes his work ethic is the secret to his success. >> he is determined and when you have that determination and always come back to something better you are going to improve. these past two years he has really stepped up a notch and i think it's coming from his heart. >> i am not trying to beat anybody, i just love dancing. >> i think he dances in his sleep. >> he has no plans of sitting still and his next move is to go back to the world competition and wind it all over again. >> coming up next, turning in his baby lamb chop for a sheepskin. get it? tonight his fond farewell. and a few big surprises as the bears make their final roster, rich king has the details. >> with hotwire's low prices i can afford to visit chicago for my first big race and l.a. for my best friend's wedding. because when hotels have unsold r

it's him and conan o'brien.ng the best and most awesome dos of all time. >> getting haircuts out here whoever wants to sit down out there can cut hair with burrs. not me. you ain't taking my hair off. i like getting it thinned but don't caught cut me wald. it makes it sort of rough getting haircuts around here. >> the lack of a good haircut is not his only complaint about wabash. >> this is one of the best meals we got out of the whole menu. and we still ain't figured out what the meat is. it is alpacas or guineas or a combination of both. an alpaq-guinea. mainly what you get down here seven days a week you can count on it like clock work that is rice and dehydrated potato flakes. as i was saying, rice that means tonight we'll have potatoes on here. dehydrated potatoes. >> they add water to them and it's like sea monkies. they add water, poof, you know. stone says he had a better diet at indiana state prison because the inmates were allowed to tend gardens and grew their own food. >> this place has so much area

well, for conan o'brien, teri hatcher's appearance on his show in october of 2009 really knocks him outen hatcher suggests she and o'brien do a mock triathlon o together. >> it was supposed to end with teri racing into the studio, rushing down the steps and coming right here to the finish line. >> but watch what happens when the two approach the stage for the big finish. >> and i'm a big guy. i'm a big guy, i'm about 6'4" and i went back and hit my head. in that moment i saw stars but i tried to keep going. >> the audience is laughing and conan, the consummate professional, doesn't let on that he's hurt. >> let's see a slow motion replay of what happened right there. shall we, please? i believe i won. god! >> that was so close! >> i did not win. the winner is teri hatcher, ladies and gentlemen. >> after the taping conan goes to the hospital. that fall was no laughing matter. conan suffers a concussion. back at work within days he tells parents to have their children watch his fall as a cautionary tale. >>> coming up -- a salesperson attacked by a customer, plus a cop with some arresting