for example, this is what i added to conan o'brien's page. "comedy central has offered conan the opportunity to take over their popular internet clip show, tosh.0 in five years after they force daniel tosh into retirement. the show will be renamed tosh.o'brien." [laughter] five years? [bleep]! you can have it now! as long as i get a piece of that $45 million nbc is paying you not to be on television. and i'll even that you can keep the jerk-off bear. an hour after i wrote that, conan's people took it down. so why don't you go to our tosh.0 boring wikipedia page and put in whatever changes you want. i'm not gonna to fix it. we'll read you some of our favorites. hey, be sure to tune in next week when we give the football player who tackled his own teammate a web redemption. [laughter] it was good form. hey, and make sure you follow me on twitter so we can live chat during the shows. check out my tour schedule and make sure you keep up with our daily blog at comedycentral.com/tosh.o. and finally, i'll stop being such a [bleep]-tease, and give you

>> "ex jennifer aniston's egg d surprise to conan o'brien. >> i'm giving them to you. >> wow. >> the're the millers" star giving him an egg from the flock of chickens that she and justin theroux inherited when they bought their bel air >> we were excited they weren't taking the chickens. they told us what to feed them and what they require. like pasta. >> you're feeding your chickens pasta? >> hey, man, i did what i was told. >> sharon stone taking over the grove for the annual kyles kyles fundraiser for aides research. >> today they gave us a check for $150,000. so we like them a lot today. we celebrating. >> big weekend fornew movie "lo today. >> it's a bittersweet week for "glee's" darren criss. he is set to host sunday's teen awards with "pretty little liars" actress lucy hale and returned to the set since cory monteith's shocking death last month. >> putting the best foot forward as one can. it back to everybo. >> this is not your mother's romeo. orlando bloom riding into broadway on a motorcycle locking lips with his juliet, condola rashad. it right, a lo heart or miranda kerr

. >> i read this interview with conan o'brien once. that's right, jerks, i can read. goes. nope. almost. hmm, he crashed out of eye shot. that wasn't very satisfying. ah, that's more like it. i don't wish ill on ace jones but you can't pull stunts like this with such attitude and not expect something bad to happen. they say pried goeth without a fall. there's the pride, and there's the fall. all right, my peeps and peepettes, to scene i can switzerland where the clocks aren't the only thing coo-coo. welcome to the world of the european professional hang gliding circuit. here we are at lake oh my god, i'm drowning with mi

economic factors may take some spring out of the easter bunny's step this year but seriously kudos to conan o'brien for once again exposing the media repeaters look obviously this is no coincidence the question remains. where are all these news stations getting their scripts from while there are affiliate news services that supply packages and scripts to hundreds of stations around the country stations then have their anchors read the canned the story with the generic script now you might look at this and say it's just indicative of how lazy local news can be but consider the implications of this kind of reporting for one second say it wasn't an easter bunny and rather the story being mindlessly regurgitated was about a virus a terrorist attack or a report on a war casualty counts the bottom line is that people who watch the news tend to trust this information information that influences their perception and decisions so for these anchors to ask no questions do no fact checking and hold no different interpretation of the news or delivering is not only absurd it's downright dangerous. if you like wh

back to president obama as you may know me event was headlined by the late night talk show host conan o'brien and of course like every year the president of the united states this year obama was just full of zingers just like this one. i really respect the press recognize that the press and i have different jobs to do my job is to be president your job is to keep me humble frankly i think i'm doing my job better. yet there's no are going through there obama the press has done everything but keep you humble by holding your administration accountable i wonder if that's what you and fox news v.p. michael clemente were joking about all night and here's michael clemente wedged right between obama and michelle at the head table it's not just fox it's every corporate news entity from reuters to m s n b c but the costly dinner isn't the most absurd part of all of this the lavish parties hosted by these same media organizations that according to the washington post will shell out as much as two hundred thousand dollars each to entertain their of the guest list that's right well they're laying people o

to act president obama as you may know me event was headlined by the late night talk show host conan o'brien and of course like every year the president of the united states this year obama was just full of zingers just like this one. i really respect the press recognize that the press and i have different jobs to do my job is to be president your job is to keep me humble frankly i think i'm doing my job better. yet there's no are going through there obama the press has done everything but keep you humble by holding your administration accountable i wonder if that's what you and fox news v.p. michael clemente were joking about all night and here's michael clemente wedged right between obama and michelle at the head table it's not just fox it's every corporate news entity from reuters to m s n b c but the costly dinner isn't the most absurd part of all. this is a lavish parties hosted by these same media organizations that according to the washington post will shell out as much as two hundred thousand dollars each to entertain their of the guest list that's right well they're laying people of

god well conan o'brien yeah i would he's way up there in the list just because he's so clever you know is there a curse word you overuse. that that's. what scares you. what scares me ok scary movies be to sky tape i can't do it i hate being scared cycloid could do the show for three weeks oh really such as i was saying yeah yeah now i made the mistake of sings the movie seven in the resource of i'm ok i mean i can if i think about it before i go to bed i can't sleep the trouble with them is they're manipulating you yes you climbing up the stairs of the bag and so no i guess out of the director that's right because he's out to air out her mate costar you learn the most from oh really wow oh there's a lot of them though i have to say oh which one the friends thing started which of that cares that the most experience courtney courtney cox i know because that's what i wanted to say like my major because we were together for so long and she's very helpful to you yes i think for all of us she kind of cept the tone because we were first started she said listen you know i mean we all got to he

bruce springsteen, bring you back to max weinberg, the former bandleader for conan o'brien, conan maxlate night with jimmy fallon." how do you like me now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow! that was pretty good. that was pretty good. i'm not gonna lie. lie. library, library card, card shark, shark tank, tank top, top gun, bring you back to tom cruise, "rain man," snowman, snowden, edward snowden, edward snow white, white people problems, brings me back to paula deen, dean martin. that's amore, that's a moray eel, electric eel, bring you back to electric boogaloo, rocking you down to electric avenue. "avenue q," q-tip, tiptoe, toe tap, tap shoe, shoe box, bring me back to hallmark, mark wahlberg, mark tall-berg, bring you back to ostriches, they got their head in the sand. sandman, man hands, bring you back to the episode of "seinfeld," what's the deal with man hands? handball, ball boy, batboy, batman and robin, thicke, alan thicke, alan rick-man. bringing you back to professor snape. harry potter. pottery barn, barnes and noble, john noble from "fringe." bring you back to joshua

sometimes you get tired of my comedy stylings, but everyone should see from the conan o'brien show. wahe did a side by side perv-f of the east coast-west coast scandal. here is a look at that. >> weiner texted pictures of his penis to people he never met. bob filner not only met the women, he would wait until they were trapped in an elevator and would put them in a head lock. anthony weiner not dropping out of the mayor race, which is creepy, and filner hired defense. he wins again. this is the photograph. we got that--here is the official portrait of mayor filner. filner wins again. west coast wins! >> michael: fantastic stuff. john o'leary is an absolutely professional. he'll be leaving "the war room." we're all better for having worked with him. have a great night. "the young turks" are next. >> no, they said "make us a turkey and make it fast". >> (laughter). >> she gets the comedians laughing. >> that's the best! >> that's hilarious. >> ... and the thinkers thinking. >> okay, so there is wiggle room in the ten commandments is what you're telling me. >> she's joy behar. >> ya, i

david letterman, conan o'brien, dr. oz. [ laughter ] here's the desk. this is the new desk up here.ir. i don't have the suede chair. ♪ i will be sitting here at the desk and my guest will be here. and then the audience, you guys will be up in these seats over here, which is great. nice, new, really comfortable seats. i mean, feel the seats you are in right now. they're awful, right? [ laughter ] these will be much more comfortable if you're over here. i'm very excited. ♪ the sound guy is here. our pals, the roots will be right over here. [ cheers and applause ] here's questlove's drumset. black thought will be over here. james and kamal who were upstairs playing the keyboards. the only way for them to get up is to climb this ladder right here. that's the only way up. sorry, kamal. sorry, james. anyway, that's it right here. so, we'll be here for the next six months and it's going to be fun. all right, let's head back. [ cheers and applause ] hey, arthur, how you doing? >> my wife and i got back together. >> jimmy: too bad, i'm so sorry. here we are! there's the audience, that's what

conan o'brien said prias drivers couldn't drive, they are too busy patting themselves on the back. study, one intersection and tough to make generalizations about what anyone drives. >> of course. of course. come on, that is so silly, it is unbelievable. i still wanted to get your take on t now, wait, you have an audi, right? bill griffeth drives a bmw, i'm going to ask him. >> i do >> you guys, thanks very much. >>> up next, back to school, the hottest new gadgets that will help school kids, old and young, stay ahead of the class and keep them cool in school. keep it right here. [ male announcer ] come to the golden opportunity sales event and experience the connectivity of the available lexus enform, including the es and rx. ♪ this is the pursuit of perfection. a lot can happen in a second. with fidelity's guaranteed one-second trade execution, we route your order to up to 75 market centers to look for the best possible price -- maybe even better than you expected. it's all part of our goal to execute your trade in one second. i'm derrick chan of fidelity investments. our one-sec

that succeeds because he's probably not going to resign but he did get one bit of bad news as conan o'brienold us last night. he can no longer go to his favorite restaurant in san diego. >> this guy, the mayor, still acting mayor, still serving mayor, has been accused of sexually harassing 14 women, this guy. well, a hooters in san diego has now put up a sign saying they won't serve mayor bob filner because he disrespects women. [ laughter ] they said we don't want him as a customer but we love him as a manager, actually. this guy would have ideas. >> bill: you know you're bad when hooters won't serve you. all right. so we've got a lot of friends coming up today. brad woodhouse, former communications director of the dnc now with americans united for change is going to join us this hour at the half. jamal simmons will be here as our good friend, democratic strategist, as a "friend of bill." and joe cirincione from the ploughshares fund, one of our all-time favorite guests in studio as well today. good reason for staying around. don't make any other plans for the next three hours! we'll keep

and conan o'brien tweeted of all the thrills in my career getting to style beyonce's hair is way up therey >>> local weather is starting off with some clouds definitely humid out there. we've had some showers early on. some of the showers now are out towards cumberland and moving across the state line. expect for thunderstorms this afternoon. any of those could fire up and be heavy at times creating drenching downpours and localized flooding. 88 degrees today. the 60s tonight. we will call a it it 70 degrees. 69 is the low with humid >>> would you mind your driving being tracked if it meant you could save money on your car insurance? we're going to look at the new tracking technology that has some privacy advocates worried. >>> plus, all that mattered 39 years ago. a one-of-a-kind fair well. do you remember who it was? the answer is next on "cbs this morning." ♪ ♪ ♪ the joint is jumpin' ♪ ♪ it's really jumpin' ♪ ♪ come in, cats ♪ ♪ and check your hats ♪ ♪ i mean this joint is jumpin' ♪ [ male announcer ] osteo bi-flex helps revitalize your joints to keep 'em jumpin'.° like calcium supplem

and conan o'brien tweeted of all the thrills in my career getting to style beyonce's hair is way up thered you mind your driving being tracked if it meant you could save money on your car insurance? we're going to look at the new tracking technology that has some privacy advocates worried. >>> plus, all that mattered 39 years ago. a one-of-a-kind fair well. do you remember who it was? the answer is next on "cbs this morning." ♪ ♪ ♪ the joint is jumpin' ♪ ♪ it's really jumpin' ♪ ♪ come in, cats ♪ ♪ and check your hats ♪ ♪ i mean this joint is jumpin' ♪ [ male announcer ] osteo bi-flex helps revitalize your joints to keep 'em jumpin'.° like calcium supplements can help your bones osteo bi-flex can help your joints. ♪ ♪ osteo bi-flex... the best stuff in the joint. now in joint and muscle formula for people that demand even more for their bodies. [ male announcer ] day at kfc get our freshly delivered whole chicken. [ man ] 7...6... freshly prepared by real cooks. 5...4...3... taste why fresh is better. 2...1... try an 8-piece meal of our freshly prepared chicken. now with 10 of our new hot

>> jennifer aniston's egg donor surprise to conan o'brien. >> i'm giving them to you. >> wow. >> thellers" star giving him an egg from the flock of chickens th she and justin theroux inherited when they bought their bel air home. >> we were excited they weren't taking the chickens. they told us what to feed them and what they require. they like pasta. >> you're feeding your chickens pasta? >> hey, man, i did what i was told. >> sharon stone taking over the grove for the annual kiehls liferide for amfar fundraiser for aids research. >> today they gave us a ting.150,000.so we like them a . >> big weekend for sharon, her new movie "lovelace" opens today. he is set to host sunday's rs" . choice awards with "pretty little liars" actress lucy hale and returned to the set since cory monteith's shocking death last month. >> putting the best foot forward as one can. give it back to everybody. >> this is not your mother's romeo. orlando bloom riding into broadway on a motorcycle locking lips with his juliet, condola rashad. >> we do it right, a lot ofoken. >> orlando's supermodel wife miranda