what couldwonder make things a little bit better? -- better. host: how old are you? guest: 32.ost: how old is your mother? guest: 55. host: who was bob? guest: a stepfather i had. my mother's third husband. he was and is my legal father. decided heal father would give me up for adoption for complicated reasons. he and i are close now and we have reconnected. bob became my legal father and i took his name. i became himmel. that is not my name anymore. like a lot of the men we were exposed to, he did not stick around. he did not become my dad. he was a guy in the picture and he left. ?ost: who was chip stayeda boyfriend my mom with for a while and he was a reasonable guy. he was the sort of classic police officer, with a lot of the attitudes that were common. he had some connection to the south, because of his mannerisms and the way he conducted himself. he drank a lot. he wasn't abusive to me. they would come in and they would go out. it was not that they were bad guys. they were just not people you can depend upon and that was the lesson we grew up on. you could not really depe