process much different and much harder for me because it's much more deliberate i guess, it's also, creati nfictio is more difficult for me because it demands honesty. it demands also a certain amount of, like, intimacy in making yourself vulnerable on the page and writing towards uncomfortable situations and uncomfortable subject matter, right? especially when you're writing about trauma, about the weight history bears on the present. it's really, that's really hard stuff to write about. when i write about those subjects in creative nonfiction, it takes me a very long time, one, just to get a rough draft down, then i have to revise again and again and again and again because a lot of the times in my first two or three or four or five drafts i'm avoiding the painful subject. i'm sort of writing around it or i do want to confront it. i do want to sit with it. i don't want to live with it. in the ways that creative nonfiction demands. that's what i mainly stick to fiction, so writing about difficult subject matter in fiction is easier for readers because in a way they can read it and say, well, this