dad: come on, you lot. right, dad. do you fancy getting dressed and coming to the park with us? no. okay. ( electronic toy trilling ) oh! write my mobile number down here, and i'll put the phone right next to you, okay? it's just here, okay? why? where are you going? we're going to the park, dad. ( groans softly ) when did you last take your painkillers? i'm not sure. well, i can work it out. where are they? um... ah. well, you haven't taken one today, dad. you haven't taken one for the last four days. oh, haven't i? well, it's not a problem. you can take one now. no. i don't really like them. they can make you feel a bit confused. right. can i take this? ben, for the last time, you cannot take my hedge trimmer up the park! the british sunday afternoon up the park-- get soaking wet and get your shoes covered in dog... mum: dad, we're back! come on, karen, don't lag behind! shoes off at the door! ow! off, please. mum: karen, come on! leave the puddle alone! ben: can we watch tv? mum: no! karen: boring! so, jake... you're 12 now, and i thought that now might be as good a time as any t

racism is what dad does. ben, your dad is absolutely not racist.i've taught hundreds of muslim kids. i mean, suliman akbar was the first kid from our school to read history at oxford. racism is when you, um, when you don't like somebody because of the color of their skin or the country they come from, and it's really wrong. unless it's the japanese. actually, it's any race. dad, you're really rude about the americans. oh, well, yeah. americans. they're the other exception. oh, great. along with the swiss. and the japanese. so it's the americans, the swiss, and the japanese? and the germans. pete! i'm a big, fat japanese. okay, can we just drop this, all right? is auntie angela american? no! crisp, anyone? ( happy chatter ) jake, would you rather be a pig or a rabbit? a pig. i wouldn't want all those kids picking me up. dad says that he's worried that you're a bully. he's not worried that i'm a bully, he's worried that i'm being bullied. to be honest, i'm getting rather fed up with your questions. i know how to stop it, though. ( cell phone beeps )

dad, okay? what? i've lost the history channel, and now all these people keep telling me to phone them. well, they're shopping channels. shop...? ( laughing ) ( faint crash; children laughing ) draxi? everything all right, draxi? you okay? hello! hello! so, everyone's still up at 11:15. they could not sleep, so i teach karen 5-card stud. she teach me cartwheel. ben, he bump shelf during kickboxing. there is little blood, but he's okay, and shelf, i fix. ben was doing kickboxing? yes. it was not on the list. okay, ben, karen, up to bed like you promised. 'night, dad. night-night! ben: good night, draxi. nice evening? yeah. ( ascending footsteps ) lovely.m ( ascending footsteps ) there you go. the decision to drop the bomb... ah, hiroshima. that's more like it. oh, bullocks. what are you doing? i'm just seeing if we've been reconnected. oh, look. here comes eisenhower. i think that driver's the bird he was knocking off. thank you, simon schama. draxi: 'bye, karen! 'bye, ben! i love your hair! ben: 'bye,

and what about your dad?do you know, even by your cowardly standards, that really takes the biscuit. pete... she comes here every couple of years, and she... just see ravi and kuj out. i'm sorry. no. no. so will you tell dad about your decision? yes, of course i will. right. so i'll be around there tomorrow night to tell him that you're not coming back. sue, you've got to learn to trust people. ( door closes ) excuse me. come on, let's not part enemies. angela... it wasn't organic chicken. ( door opens and slams shut ) ( phone ringing ) hello? oh, dad. yeah. no, no, don't worry. she's just left. she'll be with you in about 20 minutes. it went really well. yeah. pudding didn't turn out quite as i expected, but--but, no, angela was on her usual terrific form. no, no, no. no, everything's fine. everything's fine, yes. yeah, yeah, no, it is great having her around, isn't it? no, she'll be with you in 20 minutes, dad. and when she gets there, could you give her a message from me? could you tell her that she ... no

dad? >> dad. >> dad? >> dad. >> who's your favorite? >> mom. >> okay.et's try something different. who's your least favorite? >> da, da, da. >> mom, mom, mom. >> dad. >> mom, mom, mom. >> dad. >> i like how she's whispering, maybe that won't hurt his feelings. dad. >> who is getting a pony? who's your favorite? >> dad. dad. >> aw. >> too cute. >> she is an adorable little girl. >> how can she not be a daddy's little girl. >> he is clearly trying to stress this girl into breaking down into saying dad is my favorite. >> we had enough? all right. here we go. the last time. who's your favorite? >> mom. >> okay. >> i like how at end she goes, all right, dad, it's dad. mom. at least she doesn't lie. keeps it real. >> mom. >>> if you ever wondered what 10,000 photos of tokyo look like, well, we have the video for you. take the trip next. >>> people are always talking about the lockness monster, the yeti, big foot. we have video of the swamp thing. guess where it is, beth? russia. a couple of guys decide to throw our buddy into this body of water, be it a creek

it's just not-- i'm staying with dad. pardon? i'm gonna stay with dad. i've left the states for good to stay with him. i did a lot of thinking while i was on holiday, and you're right, it's my turn. and dad's not gonna live forever. i want to spend some time with him. well, that's great. thank you. isn't it? yeah, it--that-- that really is great. to angela. to angela. with me staying there, i can help him beat this thing. first time you look after him, and you lose him! ben: stranger! stranger! i'm not a stranger, i'm his dad. don't talk to any journalists under any circumstances.

so possibly it should be me, your dad, and jake. or you, dad, and ben. or me, your dad, and karen.ok, just cut the crap. you're sitting next to ben. why? because i sat next to him on the way out. i had him for an hour in a pedelo. that's nothing! five hundred yards off the coast! ah, dear... this brings back memories. yeah? yeah. when i was little and it snowed, me and my dad would go out and piss in the snow together to make rude words. your dad ever done that with you? um... i don't think so. no, no, you see? parents just don't make the time to do that stuff with their kids nowadays. it is your turn to sit next to ben. but-- end of story. of course, we could go me, you, jake... and karen, ben, granddad... or would that be unfair on your dad? nah, i think that'd probably be okay. 'cause a lot of stuff washes over him, doesn't it? yeah, that's true. ( woman over pa ) flight t549 is now boarding. oh, hallelujah! that is us. right, right. wagons roll. let's get ready, everyone, please. we've got plenty of time. indeed, we have got plenty of time. that's right. as long as we don't lea

i'm going to go in there tomorrow-- no, dad, please, dad. don't! please, dad! um...

no--no, dad, dad, she is not iranian. dad, dr. higginbottom is not iranian. all right? no point turning off the lights. it's too late to stop global warming now. jo says your generation's completely ruined the world for our generation. does she. well, then, you can turn the lights off so we don't have to move to swansea. so we could lose the house? no, no, no, no-- i know how we can save money. right. by not buying broccoli. actually, broccoli isn't that expensive. how much are we in debt? but we don't need it. i don't know exactly how much-- can you do this? ( farty sounds ) i'm trying to have a serious conversation with dad. that means you can't. and even karen can do that, shut up. and she's half your age! shut up! shut up! oh, god. jake. jake. come and sit here. no. that leaves ben and karen together. jake, you sit here-- right, ben! idiot. bloody musical chairs. you said "bloody." why is it always me who has to move? you're the one who pinched me! ( kids all shouting ) shut up!!! is the family meeting over, then? it is. and we are never having another one. what abo

i'm gonna go in there tomorrow-- dad, don't, please. dad, please. dad, please don't.ust don't do anything. i can handle it, please. it has to be sorted out, jake. yeah, i know. it's just... just what? every time you try to sort things out, nearly every time you make it worse. i'm sorry, but it's the truth. sue: here we go then. ( clears throat ) "you're my lunch." "'you're my lunch,' roared the hungry alligator. "'i'll eat half of you now and save the rest till later.'" no, no, no, no, no, you don't read it like that. read it how daddy reads it, like--like in different voices. i've only just started. wait and see what i give you. but that's not how the alligator speaks. yes, but it is-- what daddy does is he does... "you're my lunch," and he does different sorts-- is it a welsh alligator? no, he does-- "'you're my lunch,' roared the hungry alligator." no, because he doesn't do that. he does it in a different sort-- okay, then i will. just--just give me a chance, 'cause i haven't got very far in yet, have i? let's see if i can rise to daddy's lofty heights. but daddy d

dad. dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >>

see some shades of my dad in newt. >> remi, what kind of dad is newt? >> i am just sorry i am not voting to elect a father. this would be enlightening. >> they are all fathers. you've got -- >> they are all fathers, but i don't really care so much about their fathering or parenting skills or their fill plan dering whether they are cheating. i want to know about their economic policies, their foreign policies, their oacial policies, and that's -- social policies that's how or why i will vote for them jie. you know what we need? we need a founding father. >> they are great. >>> coming um, what is up with pencils? we discuss matt mccall's new book, what is up with pencils. and 17 weeks on the best sellers list. congratulations. first, it is video of porn being filmed. this is truly a tease unless we don't get to this story which we didn't last time. >>> would no more porn make la forlorn? after the city council required actors to wear condoms, the adult films produce thread could be wrapping it up jie. what? >> for good. >> perveyors of porn say they will

jake: dad. if everybody led absolutely identical... dad. i'm right in the middle of saying something, jake. yes, but ben and karen and trying to bite each other. ( ben and karen growling ) oh! it's okay, vicar! i'll deal with it. come back here! i'm allergic to them! you are not allergic to peas. no one's allergic to peas. no one in the world is allergic to peas. how do you know? because you--you haven't asked the people, and even if you did, i know you'd be lying, because you can't speak indian. you can't speak japanese. you can't speak-- you can't speak australian or any of that! there was this survey by the pea marketing board. look, just eat the peas, please! no, no, but-but-but-- ( children laughing ) ben! ben, you can't dip sardines in the chocolate fountain. ben: yes, you can. look! see? he can. sue: dad? it's through the double doors. dad's memory seems... quite a lot worse. well, it is a degenerative illness, so... sooner or later, he's gonna have to move out of that house. i'm well aware of that. so, have you started looking into

i didn't know your dad smoked, shame on him. and, you know, the fact of the matter is i remember as a youngster or a younger man someone swearing me down in public, your dad did not smoke. and i'm holding a picture of him holding a cigarette. you know, and it's like, he was a human being. now granted, he did not smoke until the latter part of his life when the movement became so stressful and that was an outlet. and sure, we don't like to think about anyone that we put on a pedestal having flaws. but he was a human being. so the reality is i was very honest first because i was told that that is the only way you're going to get through this process, and it's the only way that people will understand the story. if they can identify with it. if you write from a -- again a superficial vantage point, people see right through that. so i, for many reasons, needed to put it out there. but i don't think there's anything in the book that's so alarming that people will say gosh, i'm appalled by that. but then you never know, people have dif

what a great guy my dad is.nd i just hope they see what i see, which is an amazing dad. >> she was the biggest advocate for me to run? >> so cute, our two younger boys who are not here, they said, dad, you cannot run for president because you can't coach little league, baseball. >> he was excited to have an ice cream maker at the house. >> i want to ask you about probably the worst time of your life. there's a reason, when your son gabrielle died and he died soon after birth. you did an extraordinary thing, one of the most courageous things i could imagine a parent in a situation doing. you took his little body home to show all of his siblings. and you had a sort of service at home. a funeral service in many ways. you got flack for this. people have criticized you for is, which i think is an offensive thing to do, none of their business, but tell me about the decision and the affect it had on you as a family. >> first of all, grief is a personal thing, and we do it differently. and i was a nurse for many years,

let's tell dad. dad! we're getting netflix! dad! we're getting netflix! super...r free trial today. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >>> jimmy: our next guest is climbing the charts with his debut single "tonight is the night" and tonight, we're thrilled to have them here perform it. with a little help from the roots, please welcome outasight! [ cheers and applause ] >> how ya'll feeling out there? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i've been feeling real good came a long way from misunderstood ♪ ♪ far away from the days where i wouldn't wanna go home 'cause i was afraid of the truth ♪ ♪ see i was scared to admit that failing was in the back of my head ♪ ♪ there comes a point when lying no longer works so you have to stand up for how you want to live ♪ ♪ tonight is the night is the night that we're losing control wha oh ♪ ♪ tonight is the night is the night we set it off ♪ ♪ everybody go wooh, wooh, ooh wooh, wooh, ooh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ everybody go wooh, wooh, ooh wooh, wooh, ooh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ and i don't know no better but as far as i came it felt like f

whose dad is running to be president.e is on the rise. but is it enough to catch the front-runner? we'll talk about that. >>> plus, my exclusive interview with aretha franklin, queen of soul. we'll talk about her weight loss, health scare, and her upcoming wedding. and her dad won a big award that she accepted on his behalf over the weekend. >>> but first to cnn's christine romans with a look at the other stories making news this morning. it is not all politics believe it or not. >> good morning. you're right. iranian president mahmoud ahmadinejad is in venezuela to meet with hugo chavez, his first stop on a tour of latin america. the trip will take him also to nicaragua, ecuador, and cuba. >>> new details emerging in the search for a missing toddler in maine this morning. aila reynolds vanished from her father's home last month. his grandmother claims that family members at the home that night had nothing to do with ayla's disappearance. police suspect foul play but have no suspects. >>> for the first time since the midd

dad, a big giant bee! get it! hang on, pumpkin. aw! bad call, dad! hey, sweetie. phone... no, no that was unrelated. you know what, why don't you call it to see if it works? pretty sure it's broken. probably right. looks like we're in new phone territory. when it's on your mind, it's on ebay. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: our next guest is an award-winning dance instructor and choreographer who is now the star of lifetime's talked about reality show, "dance moms." say hello to abby lee miller, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. i'm a huge fan, abby lee miller. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i started watching this show because everyone said, "you got to watch 'dance moms.' you have to watch this." and i go, "okay." and i don't always watch lifetime. just 'cause i just -- it's not always on. it's always watch shows -- it's nbc for me. so, i watched -- i was obsessed with this thing. and i think that you are a genius. i think that you are right. i think these moms are nuts. i think they are nutballs. >> they are. >> jimmy: and they are nuts. and

dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> dad. >> who's your favorite?s till we get it right. right? >> but mom's the favorite. if there's a story, video or picture you can't get enough of, high-fin us, high-five us. tweet us at gma. >> and we'll be right back. ♪ you are an obsession you're my obsession ♪ ♪ who do you want me to be ♪ who do you want me to be togt might seem... ♪ ...impossible. no, no... well how about the purp? ew! ♪ yeah. wow. unless you have eggo® waffles. they're quick and easy to make, and there's something about them... that just makes people move. [ male announcer ] golden crispy outside, warm and fluffy inside. who says breakfast together can't be done? [ male announcer ] eggo® waffles. simply delicious. i'm a wife, i'm a mom... and chantix worked for me. it's a medication i could take and still smoke, while it built up in my system. [ male announcer ] along with support, chantix is proven to help people quit smoking. it reduces the urge to smoke. some people had changes in behavior, thinking or mood, hostility, agitation, depress

she ran to help her father. >> i hear, get off my dad, get off my dad. that was my daughter. knew my daughter was safe. you know? and i said, guys, i'll just go. i just gave up fighting. >> as his daughter ran to find help a second neighbor called 911. >> hi. i'm -- and i'm watching these people beat this man with a tire iron. oh, come on. >> we've got everybody coming, man. we have to drive there. >> now they're trying to fight the other girl with the blue jeans on. oh, where are the police? >> they're coming. they're coming. >> ooh. oh, my goodness. >> police finally arrived and broke up the fight. bruce was being treated for severe concussion. he learns that toledo police charged him with breaking and entering the kidnapper's home. eventually, those charges were thrown out. toledo police have declined our request for comment on the case. the michigan u.s. attorney convicted derek willoughby and his two associates for trafficking the two teen girls. >> he's 42. he'll be out when he is 50. he can pick up this business all over again. ♪ with a free-credit-score-dot-com ♪ ♪ ap

it's his dad-chelor party.end of five years is eight months pregnant with a baby girl they're naming olivia. >> i heard on the radio that the new trend was daddy showers where guys get together, they buy diners, and they drink beer. well, i was, like, that seems kind of, you know, classless. let's do this big. >> reporter: with just a few hours till the boys show up, dave and his best friend rich are making some last-minute stops. truth be told, lesley is not so hot on the whole idea and she's not shy about it. >> honestly, i thought it was stupid. honestly. i still am not a huge fan of it but i guess i'm getting diapers out of it. >> yes, you are. >> reporter: the diapers in exchange for beer is a staple known as the diaper keg. >> i let everybody know, what brand you wanted, what sizes you wanted. this is all for you. >> mm. i'm sure it is. >> reporter: sure enough, dave's friend show up to the preparty armed not with budweiser or coors but with huggies and pampers. >> wow. >> reporter: have you ever heard of

andrew's dad has the honor of giving the vows.lissa recites her part, she gets choked up. >> until death do us part. >> until death do us part. >> this is my solemn vow. >> this is my solemn vow. >> now it's andrew's turn. >> you can see how intense i am. >> i, andrew paul daniel engstrom, do take melissa rene warren -- >> do take melissa rene warren >> -- to be my lawfully wedded wife. >> to be my waf -- lawfully wedded wife. and pancake-y. i caught myself at waf, you know. it wasn't like waffling. but it was too late. and her dad loved to giggle. and then she starts laughing. it's like all right. you know, that's cool. i'm all right with that. >> it just sort of hit my funnybone. >> she started laughing. i've learned enough about her by now to know that was not the end of it. >> to the amusement of everyone in the church that melissa finds it so funny that she belts out a screeching laugh. >> every time i looked at andrew after i first started laughing, i would remember what he just said and the fact that we're standing in front

>> well, first of all, dad's message is optimistic.hat under gingrich presidency we would have more jobs and more growth and entitlement reform that would work for the american people and we know we would do that butecae he's the only candidate that's balanced a budget at a national level. we know we can have a candidate that can stand against obama and provide a real contrast. i'll call it clarity. what he's providing now is clarity. he's gone through the fire in iowa. that fire will continue. we have to realize that there was a quote saturday after the debate that mitt romney is the candidate democrats want the most because he's the weakest. part of this process is to make sure everybody asked every question about every candidate because in the end we need a candidate that provides a very good contrast to president barack obama and my dad can do that because he's been a leader in the republican party and provided a clear contrast with a contract with america and having the only one that's balanced a budget for four years in a row at

when i told my dad about this at first, bob offering me to kill his wife and kids, my dad didn't believeverything roger told me, i didn't want to hear him. because i thought there's no way that bob would kill his wife and his only son. >> if his own dad wasn't buying it, the police surely wouldn't, especially given roger's reputation as a drug years and peddler. >> i wasn't a very upstanding community citizen, you know. i wasn't the boy scout. >> once more. roger didn't have any real proof. i had to bow my head and keep my mouth shut. i had to live with that. i had to bow my head and keep my mouth shut, i had to live with that. ahead to be a pallbearer for his son knowing he killed him. that for me up, ate the hell out of me for a long time. >> what was it like standing there with that coffin on your shoulder? >> it was brutal, it was emotionally brutal. what if i had said something, he wouldn't be being buried. it was tough. >> there you are carrying the casket. >> now, it was too late. liana and eric were dead. bob collected the insurance, $60,000 and roger kept his mouth shut. >> i wa

you're probably like, "i would give it to my dad."ition going, dad?" [ laughter ] >> no, it's something -- >> jimmy: sure we don't have any other traditions, like having a christmas tree or something, you know? [ laughter ] not my paycheck. >> no, it's a sign of respect. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i definitely enjoyed it. my dad gave it back to me though. i just -- >> jimmy: oh, he did? >> i want to just stick with the tradition, make sure i got it done. >> jimmy: wow, that's really nice that you did that though. that's pretty cool. let's talk football. do the colts get andrew luck, number one draft? >> i definitely think so. i think it'd be a smart move in them being able to have a guy like peyton manning where he can learn under. i went to detroit -- got to learn under kyle vanden bosch. and i think he really helped my career blossom, just being a veteran guy. i think today, this past season -- >> jimmy: how's stafford, by the way? >> he's good. he's real good. >> jimmy: tell him i said hello. i love that guy. >> he had a amazing year.

our invisible cord is really long, dad.ooh. [ female announcer ] get access to the entire national at&t wi-fi hot spot network for no extra charge. so call today to get high speed internet for just $14.95 a month for 12 months with a 1-year price guarantee. aren't you glad we switched to at&t? yes...but i want my own invisible cord. you already have one. oh. ♪ >>> your minds are about to be blown by some incredible talent. this is eight-year-old zoe thompson and she's playing "str "stratosphere" by strativarius. ♪ >> it's incredible, right? >> i want to be in her band. >> it looks like the video is in fast forward. >> eight years old, she started taking guitar lessons at the age of six. so she's only been taking lessons for two years. >> i'm jealous. >> i'm very jealous of her. she's not from the mini band, is she? >> that's a good eye, yes. she's a guitar player from the mini band. we've seen her on this show here before. and she's even amazing without the mini band with her. so joining us right this minute from newbury, b

i mean, he's a dad.i hear. >> she does curse every once in a while. >> jimmy: what did she give you for your birthday? >> she gave me a bottle of tequila. >> jimmy: there you go. love the mom. it's great to have you here. sarah hyland, everybody. watch her on "modern family" wednesdays at 9:00 here on abc. we'll be right back with big freedia. [ cheers and applause ] >>> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought >>> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series, sponsored by bud light. >> jimmy: this is his new cd. it's called "scion a/v presents: big freedia." making his network television debut, with the song, "excuse," big freedia. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ big freedia big freedia ♪ ♪ comin' one more time big freedia ♪ ♪ comin' one more time bow down ♪ ♪ big freedia comin' one more time ♪ ♪ bow down ♪ big freedia comin' one more time ♪ ♪ excuse i don't mean to be rude ♪ ♪ but gimme that mic and lemme do what i do ♪ ♪ excuse i don't mean to be rude ♪ ♪ but gimme that mic and let freedia come through ♪ ♪ wob