which is to say we are not here this evening to ask how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but to ask more foundational questions, such as whether angels actually exist, whether, if they do, they should be dancing on pins in the first place, whether dancing on pins is good or bad for society, whether pins make us safer or we need more robust pin control, whether injuries sustained as a result of dancing on pins should be paid for by the pin dancers or anyone else. this is not going to be a pin-free zone. before we start, a couple house rules. please don't clap or boo during the debate. you can cheer and boo and throw your clothes at the end, and make sure your cell phones don't ring, and if they do, these -- please don't answer them. i have equipped the debaters with tasers, and they will know what to do if they are interrupted. the resolution tonight is, is libertarian or conservatism the superior political philosophy? we start with an opening statement from the conservative side, followed by an opening statement from the libertarian side, followed by rebuttals from each. >> thank you all for coming.