do you remember that daphne? i do remember and it was based a lot on the work of william white, who has written so much on language and the rhetoric of recovery, and what words keep us stuck and what words move us for, forward. for exam, example, the issue of relapse. we talk about relapse and in other illnesses, we might talk about a recurrence or we might talk about re-initiation. but relapse somehow focuses on this was the expected, negative outcome and so...and failure. and so again, it goes back to the consciousness and what are we conveying and what, what kind of expectations are we conveying with our language? and there are a number of those examples that can be found actually on william white's website and, and in other publications that have been done by samhsa and by faces and voices of recovery. there are some wonderful resources to help us become more conscious of the language we use. and that connects to the fact that what we can do within the treatment system. if you're working with a person and the

so daphne, how do we change the paradigm? how do we begin to use positive language, person-centered, people- first type of language? we begin by being conscious of the words that we're using and there are a number of words and papers and reports and so forth out there that promote words like health and recovery and person-centered and mutual support and so forth. and so there's a, there's a model that talks about going from unconscious incompetence at something, where you, where you do something and it's not what you want to do but you're not even aware of it, to conscious incompetence where you begin to be aware that these aren't the terms i want to use, to conscious competence and we're starting to be more aware of the terminology we're using to unconscious competence. and i think that's what we want to do as a field, is move to a point where we're automatically speaking in positive, person-centered, health-centered approaches. you two folks are in recovery. now they're going to be folks out there that are going to say, alr

i know daphne has written a lot about this and, and also bill white. i published a paper in 2004 in the treatment, alcoholism treatment quarterly, which actually talks a lot about the issue of terminology and how it may affect, how it's imprecise. for example, we use the term abuse, generically, but also it's a diagnostic label, it's actually a, a dsm diagnostic label, which creates a lot of confusion when you see it written. are they referring to the more generic issue, you know, regarding the whole range of problems versus a particular diagnosis, that has specific meaning? so it's imprecisely used and this is a problem, of course, in communication. so one of the things that i think we need to, we need to have a term that describes these problems generically... and the institute of medicine has tried to deal with that, have they not? yes and the world health organization too, so in the 1970's they were advocating against using the term abuse, even though the american psychiatric association adopted that term which is unfortunate because then that give

i even can grow the most difficult things, daphne's, which apparently people say you have to plan five in order to get one. one is not even planted, it is in the pot and it is still living, which is astounding to me. my grandmother has come through to me here. this is a special and spiritual place to me, and it was the only place i could have written this book. i started the book in the north by talking to over 1200 people. i stopped counting after 1200 people who had migrated from the south to the north, new york, chicago, and los angeles. i met them there. i have gotten this exile perspective. i had done in this perspective of the hurt, aggrieved, embittered, turning once back on the south perspective. i needed to be here in order to see what they left. by living year it gave me a sense of the enormity of the sacrifice that they made by leaving all that they knew and the people and the family, the soil, the land, the plants, the things that made them. to leave all of that for a place they've never seen in hopes for something better. it was also here in georgia decades before i was do

. >> and on daphne here we're going to show you how to do it right.s a fun color. it's kind of bright. but it has that lace overlay. you're going to be very game and show the back. but again you've got the ruffles. you have lace and the bow but it's delicate. flirtatious, very fashion forward. it's a little bit trendier than the typical, very valentine's day holiday gift. >> we like trendy trendy. it's kind of fun. >> trendy but elegant. >> thank you very much. >> thank you. >> when it comes to valentine's day, too, you may want to make sure you feel sexy but without feeling overdone. for a lot of women this is not something they typically wear. >> yes, exactly. >> satin and lace is not for everyone. frills are not for everyone. so for the girl who likes to be a little more casual but still wants to get in the spirit we have this great little chemise slip from victoria's secret on kristen. and kristen is a yoga instructor and she said, listen, i want to be comfortable. i still want to be festive but with this bright color with the lace. turn around an