i'm darren grimes, and i'm still firmly gripping the hot seat, despite the increasingly desperate and naked attempts of alex armstrong to. >> rescue me. >> rescue me. >> i've actually had to hire my own security detail to keep him at bay, lest he launch an assassination attempt in the dead of the night. armed with nothing but an expired labour party membership and a deadly thirst for air time. now, viewers of gb news will have noficed viewers of gb news will have noticed that last night there was a mysterious disappearance. patrick christys was gone. haven't. >> had an update on his whereabouts. >> but i can only assume that armstrong's grubby little arm strong's grubby little fingerprints armstrong's grubby little fingerprints were. >> all over, given that. >> all over, given that. >> he presented his show last night. his hunger for a presenting gig on the people's channelis presenting gig on the people's channel is so intense that i fear none of us here are safe. so if i suddenly slump over mid—show someone check my drink for traces of the one time socialist worker's sedative. >> of

i'm darren grimes, and i can promise that you're in for a very lively show.ve had a few comments coming in already. many thoughts and many prayers with alex at this really difficult time. and actually some good news, tobias says. i assume kai got to saudi arabia by solar panel or row boat. there's no way he took a flight, surely. and anne marie has some good news. she says grumpy grandad is back home. yayi we're all delighted to hear that news. and then we do have it pointed out by judith that there are too many women on the show. >> it's amazing. we're in control. we've taken it like judith. >> i feel like i'm on an episode of loose women, i. >> really do. >> really do. >> i really. >> i really. >> do better, right? >> do better, right? >> i'm going to kick us off, my friends. and i want to actually start by saying it's another day, but it's yet another brain deadidea day, but it's yet another brain dead idea from our ruling class solving nothing while real problems spiral out of control. idris elba the actor thinks that kitchen knives should be sold without

i'm darren grimes, and we begin tonight with some truly tragic breaking news. our very own alex armstrong, fresh from his 40th birthday, has announced he's taking a whole week off of television a whole week. i know that your thoughts and prayers will be with alex at this dark time. rumour has it he's checked himself into the world famous betty ford clinic over in palm spnngs betty ford clinic over in palm springs. not for the usual sins. he has booze or drugs or even an unfortunate gambling addiction. but for something far more insidious a crippling dependence on being on telly. it's said that the withdrawal symptoms have already kicked in. he now refuses to communicate with his partner unless it's via an earpiece. now i, for one, am just relieved he's finally found a healthier way to deal with his unquenchable thirst for screen time, rather than mysteriously taking out the competition who fall foul to sudden illness. patrick christie and i have noficed patrick christie and i have noticed the pattern. alex, we're on to you. and if that wasn't enough heartbreak f