laughter] lot of razors and sleeps in a boiler room, comedian, founder of western razor company, david angelo. and she's frail, pale and can escape from any jail, new york times best-selling author and fox news contributor kat timpf. before we get to some news stories, let's do this. [♪] >> greg's leftovers. >> greg: it's leftovers where i read the jokes we did not use this weekend is always it's the first time i'm reading them so if they sok we will dress joe mackie as a dog and sent him to kristi noem. unless the weather is bad. sunday is mother's day and we actually got our hands on a few celebrity cards. like this one. mom, thanks for not murdering dad, happy mother's day. love chelsea. by the way, bill clinton is planning to get up early and prepare breakfast in bed and then he will go home to hillary. [ laughter ] >> whoa. >> greg: and this one is nice, a stepmom, what are you up on -- up to later? want to party? love hunter. the guy does not have boundaries. all right, dear mom, happy mother's day, see you soon, love joe. [ cheering and applause ] >> greg: i don't know what that means.

comedian and foundern of westen razor company david angelo and frail pale and can escape, e from any jail. "new york times" bestselling author and fox news contributorm gopft that. all right. before we to some new stories let's do this. yeah greg's leftovers. >> mm hm. it's the leftovers where i rea d jokes. we did news this week, and asisw always, it's theeekee first time i'm reading them. so if they , we'll dress. joe mackie as a dog and send him to kristi noem. er unless the weather's bad. >> sunday is mother's day, and we actually our hands on a few celebrity cards like thist one. mom, thanks for not murdering dad. ing dad,happy mother's day. >> i love chelsea. by the way, bill clinton's planning to get up earlynd and prepare breakfast in bed, and then i'll go home to hillary bed. hter ] low. and this one is nice. hey, step mos onm, what are youp till eight? want a party? love, hunter to part. oh, the guy that's in that boundaries. >> all right, dear mom, happy mother's day. >> see you soon. love. i don't know what that means. all right, let's do some jokes. chicag ko mayor johns

t ifant, we had joey, johnny, joey jones, some lady named kennedy, comedian david angelo, and, of coursee, but you never know what they're sayin g. e so we're going to we gotth thest baby goats. listen to them now. that one over there. see that one out right there? that one is talking about the benefits of the flat tax. oh, yeah, that one'sg about go no, no, no, no, no. i would prefer a sales tax. sales tasx is better. >> and the one over here for one right there says, please don't send me to christine. >> tom's house. are they adorable? goats are amazing. they're underrated food as a pet and just a farm animal and a petting zoo inhabitant that they have anything to. my girlfriend linda haosfriend two rescue groups got goats. sophie and olivia. olivi i hope she rescued them from it. that the greatest of all tim >>e i really are. >> well, speaking of wildlife,e on the loose in a stinky liberal enclave, there were three zebras who escaped a truck in western washingtozebn state. and one of them, shug, went and on the lam. onefour days. >> people were terrified forer their safety because zeb

joey: i think david angelo on gutfeld i think from his special if not the internet will let me know butly the yolk is there are two jobs that we think teenagers are qualified for. like before they're even allowed to drive cars like we don't think they have any responsibility but -- they can be life guards and baby-sitters and yolk is like those are kind of important things how do we have a shortage of life guards? >> i don't know but striking that this all across the country that it is such a big problem but i also feel like democrats have a real problem here. because you have a prominent democrat making what i also agree is like a racist statement. but also at the same time you have kathy hochul calling people who showed up for trump rally clowns flork is not a battle ground state but there are battle ground states voters undecided voters who are watching what's going on here and trying to decide who is going to represent them in november. and they're also trying to decide what makes sense to them. and that democrats should be worried about. joey: why scarlett johansson fight over a.i.

david angelo has a great bid about how we designate the most important jobs in the world to teens, thed. one takes care of your kids and infants in the other one saves lives. now we are switching that to illegal immigrants. handing a job in which you are supposed to look out for people's lives to people we know nothing about. but this is the consequence of false compassion. we placed illegal immigrants in this box of the oppressed. so they have more rights than you, the actual citizen. apparently there are people who are above the law because they already broke it. >> judge jeanine: you know, dana, you are an illegal who came here illegally and you have no right to be here, and you make a decision, along with your friends, to beat up cops, literally get them to the ground, kick them, kick them in the head, punch them, and we pay for their attorney fees. we pay for their translators. we pay for the room and board. and alvin bragg wants to cut them a deal, but this case is all on video. all you have to do is turn on the video and say, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, make a decision. >>

that's why he needs lifeguardsee because it's a sea of chaos what do you do it all makes sense now david angeloteans. babysitter and lifeguard 1 taken care of your kids and infantshe and the other saves lives now we switch that to illegal hingimmigrants in a job which ye supposed to look out fores t people's lives to people we know nothing about but this is the consequence of false compassion we place illegal immigrants in this box of the oppressed soso t they have more rights than you do the actual citizen apparently there are people who are above the law because they already broken. >> dana and illegal who came here illegally you have no righa to bkee here and you make a decision to go if your friends beat up cops get them to the ground kick them in the headth punch them whatever and we pay for their attorney fees and p their translatorays room and bod and alvin bragg wants to cut them a deal this case is all on video all you have to do is turn on the video and say ladies and gentlemen of the jury make ay, decision m. >> it's not hard and what's sad. for me is for the new york city police off

we saw two major democratic candidates prince georges county executive angelo also brooks and congressman davidde this race interestingmi was that announcement $62 million of his own money to very well behis race is more money than anybody is ever self-funded and senate primary in american history. and also brooks spent a fraction of that on her campaign and yet when all this tell us unit up winning by about 12 points so when the stunning results just within the financial p the republican side we had governor larry hogan, former they are very hope it when the public that the republican nomination we the nominee and he's going to make in maryland it which is whtraditionally a very blue democratic state, into a top-tier senate race of the false also. >> was go back to the primary in theemocratic side anything that was given how much money trump spent as compared to her what you think that she was cc 12-int. >> i think that is a couple of things but the underlying fr here is just that you have all of the money the world, but the voters are not buying what you're selling is not going to get you all

. >> former top doj official michael co-angelo questioned hicks about meeting david pecker, the ceo of american media. hicks testified that she remembers seeing pecker at trump tower but doesn't recall a meeting where pecker agreed to help the trump campaign. hicks also testified that michael cohen often inserted himself in to campaign activities. telling the court "he used to like to call himself mr. fix-it. it was only because he first broke it." today trump claimed a reporting from cohen's phone showing a conversation about financing the stormy daniels payment is misleading. posting on truth social the tape played yesterday and discussed today while good for my case was cut off at the end in the early stages of something very positive that i was in the midst of saying. why was it cut off? >> shannon, we're learning tonight that trump met his deadline and paid a $9,000 fine for nine separate gag order violations. he said while entering court today that his lawyers planned to challenge the order because they believe that it's unconstitutional. the trial will resume monday morning at 9

we did not talk maryland, angelo also brooks. >> well, david spent his own money from his total fortune from democratic voters who had seen a lot of him and were not convinced that he was as inspiring as angela. the state has never elected a black female senator, or a black senator, period. in harry dunn's race, there was not an animus towards him, that he raise a lot of money and did not have deep ties to the district, despite his story. that was a neutralized advantage. people were not as impressed. but maryland voters, and this is a closed primary, very educated voters in montgomery county, and then in and around baltimore were not impressed by the candidates who spent the most time introducing themselves again and again with more generic messaging. >> let's talk about that closed primary. it was a closed primary, yet 20% of the gop primary voters didn't vote for donald trump, they voted for nikki haley who dropped out, what is that, two months ago? >> 70 days. 10 weeks, steph, since nikki haley dropped out of the republican primary. and she is still getting one fifth of the vote in

david. our weather team has been tracking tornados and severe weather across texas, from lubbock all the way down to san angelothere is that tornado watch, and of course a severe thunderstorm watch all the way down to del rio. that could bring giant hail and damaging winds. and out here in southeast texas, you may be able to make out the tops of those rvs behind me. but there are also about a dozen cars almost entirely submerged. just south of here, city officials from houston are now warning people have only several hours to get out of those homes because these floodwaters are going to continue to rise. and they're saying they could have hundreds of homes and businesses completely flooded out in the next 24 to 48 hours, david. >> david: everyone should take these warnings very seriously. matt gutman and the crew, we thank you. come on back to dry land there. >>> here in new york city tonight, at donald trump's criminal trial, one of the most high-profile witnesses yet. hope hicks taking the stand for the prosecution. once one of donald trump's closest aides. what she said today and the moment she started cryi

. >> david, the severe threat has definitely shifted south and east, taking aim at texas this evening. we've had two tornado reports west of san angelo. big storms headed toward waco right now. severe thunderstorm watches extend into the tennessee valley. strong storms near little rock and southern tennessee and central new york, syracuse having big storms after hitting 92. storms tomorrow from sioux falls to memphis. the real intense zone across nebraska and parts of kansas. tomorrow, the storms we're watching tonight make to it the i-95 corridor. could be a storied morning, and they switch to the mid-atlantic in the afternoon. unfortunately, more storms for the plains over the weekend. >> david: lee goldberg, thank you. >>> we turn now to the and deadly workplace shooting outside philadelphia. tonight, authorities now say an employee was waiting for coworkers to arrive early this morning, then opening fire. killing at least two workers and wounding several others. stephanie ramos on the scene. >> reporter: tonight, police say an employee at this industrial linen company just outside of philly took his anger out on five of his co-wo

david, it's been a relentless across the heartland, but now the aim is focused on texas tonight. there's a new tornado warning southwest of waco. we've already had two tornado reports west of san angelo. there's also a watch that goes into arkansas and into tennessee. we've had some strong storms to severe storms across central new york state, right along the i-81 corridor. syracuse had a record 92 today. tomorrow, sioux falls, down to dallas, east to memphis, but the intense zone, tornadoes, that could be nebraska and over to kansas. now, the storms we're watching today to the west with a cold front approach the east coast. could be dicey in the morning hours, and the threat gifts down to the mid-atlantic. david? >> david: tracking it tonight and into tomorrow. lee goldberg, thank you. >>> we turn now to the horrific and deadly workplace shooting outside philadelphia. tonight, authorities now say an employee was waiting for coworkers to arrive early this morning, then opening fire. killing at least two workers and wounding several others. stephanie ramos on the scene. >> reporter: tonight, police say an employee at this industrial linen company just outside of philly took his anger