time i've worn my nipples is i wore one nipple on the middle of my forehead and i did my david bowie ziggy stardustto cheer myself up and they do it quite regularly, if i'm honest. so when i wrote this little play, there is a method to my madness, i thought i'm going to write for the first time about a female who's had my operation but she's single and has to reveal herself every time a relationship fails, and she would have to start again, so that was awful but... in the middle of the place she has to stick the nipple on her forehead and does her best ziggy. now, most theatres don't stock prosthetic nipples, in fact, they don't stock them at all. so my nipples get supplied for my actresses to do this, which has meant a very exciting chapter in my life because i get e—mails now saying "janine, please can i have your nipples?" yeah, and i like to open those e—mails on a packed train when i know someone is reading over my shoulder. i'll just say, today, someone is coming to collect my nipples, no word of a lie, i've got them with me, and they then taken to manchester so they can appear on another act