would you welcome back david brenner. david! >> hey-o! >> thank you. oh, thanks, weirdos. thank you. [ laughter ] do what you want to do, right, whatever-- i'll tell you something i do that's dumb. do you want to hear-- do you ever do something dumb? you know it is, and you can't stop doing it? i have one now. i've got to stop doing this. whenever anyone talks to me who has a foreign accent-- who asks me for directions or something. i don't know why, but i suddenly turn into an american indian. i start talking, "yes! go b off 44! see building! big like buffalo!" [ laughter ] and i scream! i think people with accents are hard of hearing. i scream. it's like people-- why is it when people call long distance, they yell. my mother does that. she doesn't know how a telephone works. "david!" i always tell her, "will you whisper? "whisper." wouldn't life be horrible if we couldn't whisper? can you imagine if you could not whisper? like, you would be at a party-- "yeah, i'm married. that's her!" [ laughter ] why not? animals can't whisper. you ever hear a dog go... [ laughter ] an