conversations with colleagues about what we had gone through and was really my former colleague, david gilkey, the npr photographer who was killed in afghanistan in 2016. he over with me in 2014 during a stretch where there were a lot of attacks. the international community and we became targets when before we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time usually i mean that was the one upside of not carrying a gun is that, you know, they wouldn't come after us. but in january 2017, there's 2014 that started to change. and so there was an episode where another an ap photographer on your niedringhaus was shot by an afghan police officer. we turned weapon on him and kathy gannon, who survived the incident. and david was there with me and we just sat at the house that afternoon and i can't quite repeat the language we were using, but we were just asking ourselves, what, what are we doing? is this story worth our lives? and questioning, you know, lots of sort of life choices in that moment and trying to understand, you know, what do we do with this? and, you know, the feeling was our story might