on my 16th birthday, i had a "late night with david letterman" cake.i got my first car, i got a vanity plate that said "l8nite." that's my brother there. i lost my virginity on "late night with david letterman" sheets. [ laughter ] i had a very sad childhood. right, blue man? yeah. [ laughter ] so here's a crazy story. you hear about nasa hitting that ast asteroid? yesterday, nasa went full-armageddon and successfully hit an asteroid with a spacecraft. in what they say is the world's first planetary defense mission. which is exciting news for everyone other than the space force. they were like, "can't you let us have anything?" [ laughter ] the ship they shot at the asteroid is called the "double asteroid redirection test." d-a-r-t, dart for short. they were going to call it the "first asteroid redirection test." [ laughter ] no, we're going to call it d.a.r.t. d.a.r.t. weighs about 1,000 pounds. which is kind of amazing. you know what else weighs a thousand pounds. nasa's plan to avoid the annihilation of humankind is basically a reverse "angry birds.

we are here with david letterman.granted. [ cheers and applause >> it's something that i truly missed when i first left the old show this is lovely >> seth: it's great to have them back it's great to be in a room with them, absolutely >> because what i've learned - and this probably doesn't happen in your case even when the show that i did blew, the audience would get great live music [ laughter ] free >> seth: yeah, not a bad trade-off. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause >> seth: now, elevator races, the representational clip available. >> yeah, the representational clip how about bob costas there >> seth: bob costas. there's a new youtube channel that launched today that basically has the full archives of your time on the show and it is -- you can spend a lot of time on it. i was watching world's largest vase >> oh, the world's largest vase. >> seth: yeah. >> first of all, thank you for mentioning the youtube thing you know, you get the youtube app. [ laughter ] and so you get to see things that were also spreading misi

tomorrow night -- david letterman and tracy morgan.e wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ♪ ♪ ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee wee ooh la la ah wee ♪ ♪ lookin for m's like i lost a friend jump out of my bed like where the bread ♪ you can hold the egg waiter bring the check when we talk we kalachnikov keep us in your thoughts ♪ ♪ fully dressed at the crack of dawn weapons letting off ♪ ♪ i can hear them from the block see them creeping through the fog ♪ ♪ seasons greetings now feeding season can start oh my god ♪ ♪ look alive lookin' like i live life on a crooked line ♪ ♪ doing fine you want maximum stupid i am the guy ♪ ♪ first of all -- the -- law we is -- raw ♪ ♪ steak tartare oysters on the half shell sushi bar ♪ ♪ life a bitch and the pussy fish still -- her raw ♪ ♪i'm a dog i'm a dirty dog ha ha ha ha ha ♪ ♪ old dirty bastard go in your jaw shimmy shimmy ya ♪ ♪ got the semi and the hemi goin' gimme gimme y'all ♪ ♪ pugilistic my linguistics are jeru the damaja and i rap it por

tonight -- david letterman and tracy morgan, presented by wendy's. with cleto and the cletones.kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. thanks. i'm jimmy, the host of this -- hi, thank

. >> david letterman originally had a one-hour daytime show.eeks, decided to cancel it. >> today is our last show on the air. monday, las vegas. have these people been frisked before they -- >> it was a dismal failure in terms of the ratings. but not in terms of introducing us to letterman. >> david, thank you for being with us tonight. >> thank you very much for having me, i appreciate it. >> and in spite of all this nonsense that goes around in the background, stay with it. don't give up. and stay with us here in new york. we like having you. >> i like being here. thank you very much. >> dave is back in new york. you're going to host a late-night television program that premieres monday night. what are -- what are critics likely to say tuesday morning? >> i don't much care because i found a way to deal with that -- pills and whiskey. you're on. >> oh, i'm on. i'm sorry, i was enjoying listening to you snort. >> they gave him the "late night" show after "the tonight show," and at the time, people thought, who's going to watch television at 12:

. >> david letterman on the show. >> jimmy's ties to the old neighborhood remain strong which was oneson he first came here a decade ago in the midst of superstorm sandy. >> tonight, i have returned to save my people from the storm. >> just days after jimmy, got renewed. >> they came to me and said we would like you to stay and we would like you to stay as long as you would want to. i looked around my office and thought, i don't want to clean this stuff up. there were many times it felt like the plane was headed toward the earth, [laughter] in some top -- and somehow we pulled it out. >> all this week, we are celebrating the retirement of broadcast legend. david louis is returning after more than five decades on television. it david was one of -- he wants to travel and spend more time with photography. we are celebrating his contribution to our station. it david, you are one of the best. >> that's it. >> i'm mark and i live in vero beach, florida. my wife and i have three children. ruthann and i like to hike. we eat healthy. we exercise. i noticed i wasn't as sharp as i used to be. my

. >> david letterman originally had a one-hour daytime show, and nbc, after like 13 weeks, decided tod? >> it was a dismal failure in terms of the ratings, but not in terms of introducing us to letterman. >> david, thank you for being with us tonight. >> thank you very much for having me, i appreciate it. >> in spite of all this nonsense that goes around in the background, stay with it, don't give up. stay with us here in new york. >> dave is back in new york. you're going to host a late-night television program that premieres monday night. what are critics likely to say tuesday morning? >> i don't much care because i found a way to deal with that, pills and whiskey. >> david, you're on. >> oh, i'm on? i'm sorry. >> proceed. >> i'm enjoying listening to you snort. >> they gave him "the late night show" after "the tonight show." and at the time, people thought who's going to watch television at 12:30 at night? who's up? i'll tell you who's up. young people. college people. >> is it going well? i know this is the first show and i think this guy needs a little support, dave letterman. >>

. >> seen her on david letterman. >> i have the same outfit, by the way. >> the best serena williamsg "sorry" serena williams pops up twerking next to the throne of beyonce. i think i screamed when i saw it and i'm sure everyone else did, too. >> i think she gave license to a lot of women who were curvaceous to be curvaceous. there's this myth that women in sports have to play like a boy and dress like a boy and act like a boy, and serena's like, no, i'm a woman, and i'm going to go out there on my terms and dress the way i want and play the way i want and you're going to accept it. >> i think famously that black cat suit is probably going to be like a third or fourth sentence when we ultimately write like the serena williams biography and profile. it's like a black unitard like onsie, sexy, spandex thing with like a pink belt, you know, in the center of her waist. i don't know if i can say this on cnn but serena williams is a bad bitch, and she knows it. that was an iconic look. >> it was 2011 when she's obviously on top of the world. >> serena was attending the oscar party. >> your

our guests in brooklyn include -- david letterman, amy schumer, mila kunis, tracy morgan, paul simon,eah yeah yeahs, future, run the jewels, and a bunch more surprises we cannot reveal, because they would no longer be surprises if we were to do that. [ cheers and applause ] please join us for that. all next week. it's going to be a fun week. our first guest tonight is an exceptionally talented woman with an oscar, seven emmys, and so many acting credits it's a wonder she can remember her name. her new movie is called "lou." it opens on netflix tomorrow. please welcome allison janney. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: alison, i always forget how tall you are. >> i know. >> jimmy: i felt like a little man standing next to you. >> i'm so sorry. >> jimmy: you look great, it's great to see you. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: how's your life, how's everything going? >> everything's going really well. i'm very busy as always. working on a new show for apple called "mrs. american pie." >> jimmy: i heard you're working with carol burnett on that show. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, s

amy schumer, mila kunis, charlamagne tha god, paul simon, tracy more gone, jason bateman, and david lettermanuuu... (gasping) ♪♪ one day, you might realize it's time to switch things up. here you are. thank you. when your sisters come to town, and you say... it's on me. crushed it, little bro. when your friends come over to watch the game. no, when you go to the game. total power move. when you realize your vacation days won't use themselves, and it's time for an out of office. way out. when you're with amex, it's never a question of if you'll make it happen. it's when. ( ♪♪ ) is someone trying to steal your butterfinger this halloween? (snarl) call the bfi. ( ♪♪ ) no one lays a finger on your butterfinger. i'm lindsey vonn, and ever since i retired from skiing, i've had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. you know, insomnia. before i found quviviq, an fda-approved insomnia medication for adults. you would not believe the things i used to think about when i couldn't sleep. hey, linds. i need you to sign this business contract. all 114 pages. lindsey, lindsey!! hey, lindsey! it's workou

. >> yeah, it was and it reminded me, if you google david letterman, bill gates internet, 1995 when heernet, they were laughing at him as bill gates was explaining the thing the internet. no one thought it served any purpose that is where we are with cryptocurrencies. i think what jay powell, peter gottlieb, the guy interviewed him pretty much said it it is still an experiment, work in progress, you're announcing it is all dial-up, ugly looking, it will not amount to anything. check back in five or 10 years, mr. powell. maybe what we'll see might be something completely different. don't write it off just yet. charles: i think i have seen the one on "the today show" where they dismiss it out of hand the internet. i have to google that one, jim. why we bring you on for the good tidbits. thank you, my friend. appreciate it. >> thank you. >> folks coming up i will give you my takeaway on california's growing economic pains. it is not really funny at all. we'll look at retail earnings. we have names after the bell, but more importantly there are some buys in all of this. kristin bentz has a

you facing skepticism at the time from david letterman about this new internet thing. thing? do you know anything about that? >> sure. >> what the hell is that exactly? >> well, it's become a place where people are publishing information. so everybody can have their own home page, companies are there. the latest information. it's wild what's going on. you can send electronic mail to people. it is the big new thing. >> i can remember a couple months ago, there was like a big breakthrough announcement that on the internet or on some computer deal, they were going to broadcast a baseball game. you could listen to a baseball game on your computer. and i just thought to myself, does radio ring a bell? >> i think you had it maybe a little more accurate than him. it's proven larger than radio. kind of as we wrap up our conversation about the world and the future, mr. gates, this metaverse so called web 3.0, do you see it as being a place where more life society and commerce will function? will it be a big part of the economy? how do you advice people to look at that? >> i thi