everything inside of me came out. >> reporter: david mcvicker also witnessed david vanan's execution because he was one of the few victims who survived being strangled and raped by vonan. mcvicker told us he was suicidal. that he had horrendous dreams almost every night about vonan. >> what are you hoping happens when you see him die? >> i'm hoping that it changes my dreams. i'm hoping that at night when i go to sleep instead of him raping me and stabbing me and doing all these terrible things to me that i'll be able to turn it around and stand over him and look at that thing and know he's dead. >> reporter: did you ever wonder gee do i really want to watch someone die, everyone if it's him. >> of course, i'm not a murderer. i have no desire to see a human being go down. but again, i just have to keep telling myself. i had to change my dreams and i also, had to keep telling myself that he wasn't a person he's a monster. i don't know how to explain closure. it's like every bad feeling. everything that i ever dreamt, all the bad things that happened to me it all just came out. that was