thanks to a phenomenon known as a "heat dome," which our very own cbs senior weather producer david parkinsoned as "hot, hot heat." thank you, david, for that informative, informative information. to stay safe, the national weather service is advising people to go indoors and hydrate. and just in case, get a fan, a fainting couch, and say, [southern accent] "oh, lordy! i have the vapors! i have a brain fever!" it doesn't look like it's cooling down anytime soon. scientists warn heat waves will be longer, more intense, and more frequent. so, good news for mrs. heatwave. i assumed... really? you can make anything... [applause] anything can be a sex joke. i assumed the weather channel would be naming the heat dome like they do the winter storms, but they dropped the ball on this one. it's no surprise, because balls do tend to drop when it's this hot. half the audience laughed. of course, a hot june day is a great time for a cookout. just ask senate majority leader and raisin in the trail mix insulted that you keep avoiding it, chuck schumer. schumer garnered some controversy this weekend when he