i was with deasja. oh, guess who i'm dating now. guess who i'm dating now. deasja.at a lot. >> but what deasja dreams about is a lasting relationship. >> i want to get married and i want to wear the dress from "sleeping beauty," like at the end. she has on this dress where her fairy godparents is, like, changing the color of the dress and has this collar with long sleeves and it comes out. it's really pretty. but i want it in white. white and lavender. and i want to sing the song from the movie, too. ♪ i know you, i looked at you once upon a dream ♪ >> i think life is a dream, life is a fairy tale. face it, we can never find anybody to marry us. i'm going to get married. trust me, i am. i mean, i was engaged once. i was going to get married. >> deasja's fiance was a trans man, a man who started life as a girl. >> we lived together for like a year and a half straight and we were going to get married. that was my world. but -- well, that was something special in my world. that's what i meant to say. but he cheated on me with a girl named rasia, a real girl at that. th

on several occasions, deasja has engaged in a highly risky practice.ted with industrial-grade silicone all over her body, but not by a certified plastic surgeon. >> what happens is, you'll hear about a doctor's wife from florida or somebody who's a vet who knows how to do it or something like this. and she'll show up and rent an apartment for two days and do a whole bunch of young woman. >> they call it getting pumped. the first time i got pumped was on my 21st birthday? no, i think it was my 20th birthday. and i had $150. am i supposed to be saying this on tv? am i supposed to be saying this on tv? well, hey, who cares. i gave this lady $150 and she gave me an a cup of silicone. so, but, over the years, i've gone back and gone back and gone back. it's real silicon, it's just not in a bag. >> it's the kind that people -- >> industrial. >> were you scared? did you know about the risk? >> no. but we've all got to die one day. >> it's cheap, and it looks good. and they're young, that's why they do it. >> alex has his own way of dealing with his body. he h