i'm desi lydic. >> ronny: and i'm ronny chieng buried >> desi: and i'm desi lydic. >> ronny: and i'm y chi chieng. >> desi: and i'm ronny chieng! >> ronny: and i'm desi lydic. damn! >> desi: let's get into the headlines. if >> ronny: let's kick things off with some major international news. you know when you are in middle school in your two worst enemies had a sleepover and spent the whole night talking shit about you? that just happened to america. >> tonight, two of america's first just adversaries together on north korean soil. vladimir putin arriving in pyongyang for the first time in nearly a quarter of a century. >> north korea's kim jong un pulling out all the stops in an elaborately choreographed state visit for russian president vladimir putin. the outcast and sanctioned leaders side-by-side reviewing troops, cheered by crowds of children with balloons. the two unveiled a strategic defense treaty, promising mutual assistance in case either country faces aggression. >> ronny: best friends for forever! russia, north korea, it's the perfect alliance! they go together like vodka

i'm desi lydic! >> ronny: and i'm ronny chieng! tonight you get two hosts and that means two times the fun! >> ronny: that sounds like a lot of work. how about we have half as much fun as usual and combine it for a normal amount of fun? >> desi: that sounds easier, let's do that. >> ronny: great, let's get right into the headlines. [applause] let's kick things off with some big sports news. at last meant the boston celtics won the nba championship. [applause] now they have a record number of championships, 18. one more than the lakers and somehow 25 more than the clippers? and now they are ready to celebrate with the city of boston. if at first, are going somewhere fun. >> according to "the boston globe," before the celtics returned to boston they will first spend a few days celebrating their win in miami. the plan to return to boston on friday. [laughter] speak to of course they are going to celebrate in miami. i mean, you've got to go to where the butts are! and boston doesn't have any good ones, even though they have a ton of as

laughter and applause] for more on the republican reaction, we go live to the delaware courthouse with desi lydicd applause] desi. desi, republicans have been demanding that hunter biden be sent to prison, and now they might actually get that wish. i'm surprised republicans aren't happier about this. >> oh, jordan, you sweet little doe-eyed fawn. republicans aren't happy because they know that hunter biden is a sacrificial lamb being offered up by joe biden to distract everyone while he consolidates his nefarious powers to do socialism. >> jordan: so republicans will only be happy when joe biden himself gets arrested, then? >> aw, jordan. you deer-faced little dum dum. joe biden would love to be in federal prison, biding his time, chain-smoking on the toilet, consolidating his nefarious powers to do socialism, all while helpless donald trump rules from the white house. it's all part of the plan. >> jordan: wait, the democrats' plan is for joe biden to go to prison while donald trump becomes president? that does not make sense to me. >> of course it doesn't, cause you're too busy rummaging for nut

for more on the trash fight, we go live to south korea with senior asia correspondent desi lydic. applause] desi, what's the situation over there? >> it's intense, ronny. no one knows when this trash barrage will stop. just moments ago, this landed mere inches from me. look at this: a half-eaten hot dog! disgusting! i mean, who doesn't finish their hot dog? [audience reacts] >> ronny: desi, come on, you're supposed to be doing serious reporting. that's gross. >> you're gross, ronny. look, as a journalist, it's my job to report on these important -- international conflicts. >> ronny: oh, my god, desi, that was a direct hit? >> oh, i'm fine. as a seasoned war correspondent, i'm prepared -- i am prepared for anything. >> ronny: are you sure you're okay? because it looks like it's getting dangerous. >> ronny, what are you talking about? this is great! kim jong un is a nuclear-armed madman. but now he's just tossing trash over the fence like some weird neighbor you read about on nextdoor. this is the best case scenario! in fact, this is the way every war should be fought. usually, front

for more on the debate over whether to prepare for a debate or just to wing it, let's go to desi lydicata. [cheers and applause] desi, you're for "preparation." why is that better? >> thank you, michael. preparation is the better approach because it gives you the tools you need to lay out your position, project confidence, and do this thing with your thumb. because, as thomas edison said, "genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." thank you. >> michael: very wise. [applause] troy, why are you pro-winging it? >> um, because i'm not a dork? while desi was in the nerd zone, i was eating a double cheeseburger in a pool, staring at a cloud that looked like a double cheeseburger. and what did all that studying do for her? i can also quote thomas edison, "if you build it, he will come." >> he did not say that. that's from "field of dreams." >> michael: i did like that movie. i'm going to give a point to troy. desi, try again. >> okay, preparation gives you the best chance of crafting your answer. all right? and i will prove it. if i were prepping joe biden to answer a debate question on

[cheers and applause] ronny chieng, desi lydic. what's up with the diamonds?nce thomas? >> what? >> what? >> oh, my god, no! >> harlan? he would never do that! >> salt of the earth. >> jon: because i thought you'd be covering the clarence thomas -- >> i've gotta stop you there, jon. for us to cover that story now, after accepting these wonderful gifts would be unethical. >> sometimes i think we're almost too ethical. >> jon: definitely. desi lydic and ronny chieng, everybody. now, here it is, your "moment of zen." >> i love milwaukee! >> i know you do. >> it is amazing. >> while speaking to republicans, trump called milwaukee "a horrible city." >> can i say something to milwaukee. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ a