this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic! [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome to "the daily show," i'm desi lydic. we got so much to talk about tonight. the real presidents of america have a drama filled reunion. we look at why nba ratings are lebroken and move our, black little mermaid, conservatives have a new fish to be mad at. so let's get into the headlines! [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with a historic day in washington, d.c., where former president jimmy carter's funeral was being held in the washington national cathedral. and look, i don't know how you measure the life of a man, whether through their personal accomplishments for the lives they touched, but if you measure a life by the vip guest list at your funeral, then jimmy carter was a [bleep] pimp! >> funeral services for for president. today's funeral service bringing together five living presidents: bill clinton, george w. bush, barack obama, joe biden, and donald trump to honor carter, the longest lived commander in chief. >> desi: wow, that is

desi lydic, everyone.lause] when we come back, we find out more on america's defense secretary. don't go away. [cheers and applause] sure a meal like this is an option, but why would you settle for less? when you can have the real deal. applebee's really big meal deal for only $9.99. (♪♪) choose our new juicy, hand-breaded big cluckin' chicken sandwich or the stacked classic bacon cheeseburger. plus endless fries and drinks. all for just $9.99. applebee's really big meal deal. we're eatin' good in the neighborhood. >> jordan: welcome back to "the daily show." we've been following the confirmation hearings for secretary of defense all day, but who is the real pete hegseth? let's find out in a brand new "daily showography." ♪ ♪ >> across the globe, the enemies of uncle sam are on the march, and the biggest war of all is the culture war. taking on these kinky booted thugs demands a hero like no other, a man who will fight for america, for maga, and most of all, for his right to party. this is the "daily showo

this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. we've got so much to talk about tonight. mcdonald's takes diversity off the menu, facebook tries to friend maga, and uh-oh, someone bought donald trump a globe! so let's get into it with our continuing coverage of "trump 2.0: coming for the white house." ♪ ♪ >> i'm gonna come. >> desi: when donald trump won in november, it was largely on the promise of improving the everyday lives of american people -- from fixing inflation after it was already fixed to fighting the nationwide crime wave that he made up. and today, in a press conference from mar-a-lago, trump announced one of those common sense kitchen table policies that americans have been waiting for. no >> we're going to be changing the name of the gulf of mexico to the gulf of america. >> desi: yeah, let's do that. why the hell not! we've been so concerned about all the scary things trump's going to do, we forgot he's also going to do some really stupi

this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. we've got so much to talk about tonight. the right pretends invading greenland isn't weird as hell. we've got tips for maintaining your insurrection. and you won't believe this, but new yorkers are complaining about something! but first, donald trump is reminding people what his special brand of leadership looks like, so let's get into our continuing coverage of "trump 2.0: coming for the white house"! ♪ ♪ >> i'm gonna come. [cheers and applause] >> desi: let's kick things off with president-elect donald trump. he's not even on america's payroll yet, but he's already causing chaos for free. what a workaholic. as you've probably heard, trump has decided that his first big policy proposal will be buying, or perhaps invading, greenland. it's the kind of nonsense no one should take seriously. but trump said it, so... i guess we're all doing this. >> it would be exciting if greenland was part of the united state

desi lydic and michael kosta, everyone! applause] when we come back, we'll find out why kamala didn't win the election. don't go away. [cheers and applause] ( ♪♪) you never want to lose your edge. and the lexus rx completely understands that. (♪♪) [cheers and applause] >> jordan: welcome back to "the daily show." before the election, we sent grace kuhlenschmidt to ask election analysts who they predicted would win the presidential race. now, two months later, she followed up with some of those predictions. ♪ ♪ >> last time i was in washington, d.c., was just two months ago, which feels like a lifetime. i was so young and naive, looking for answers. >> what is your prediction for this election, 2024? >> and he gave them to me. >> kamala harris will become the first woman president. >> but alan was wrong. >> donald trump has been elected president. >> can you admit you got it wrong with your foolish little equation? >> you got it wrong, allan. >> you got it wrong! >> stupidly wrong! >> allan, i seriously trusted you. >> wealt

desi lydic, everybody. for us to do that. we understand that these individuals need a place and don't have a hearing, let's move forward. and i apologize but i am with my daughter and i actually can't vote so i am going back and forth here. >> sorry. ♪ it seems today ♪ ♪ that all you see ♪ ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy ♪ okay, kids, remember, it's father's day, which is the one day a year we have to pretend your dad's annoying habits are charming quirks. here it comes, we get to watch him remove his mouth guard. good morning, family. let's see if i can break the nine-inch saliva string record. there it is, nine inches. peter, that's two inches. saliva starts at the taint, lois. you always measure from the wrong place. -brian? -thank you. i'll just take that to t

>> jon: desi lydic, you are down there as well.g blue washington as it were. >> jon, i'm with the #resistance and they are appalled by what they're seeing. the executive orders. the renaming of military bases. >> jon: they've already renamed them after confederate generals? >> no, hitler! it's just fort hitler now. it's overwhelming, jon. >> jon: all right, well, try and stay safe, desi. >> jon, if i could just say something? >> jon: i'm sorry, yes, josh johnson? [cheers and applause] where are you? >> i'm at the martin luther king memorial. today was also mlk day. there was a march honoring a man that represented the best about america. just wanted to put that out there. >> jon: okay, fantastic. good to keep in mind. >> jon, can i interrupt? >> jon: yes, michael. >> i just thought of some more egg stuff. egg salad, egg creams, egg nog, yoni eggs, eggplants. thanks to trump, these things are now super cheap now and the best part about eggs, jon, they never expire. >> jon: that's definitely not true. >> well, okay, we'll see what th