williams. he played on the cleveland browns, baltimore ravens, and new orleans saints. dewanwilliams is a survivor of domestic abuse herself. she says the league pressured her to keep quiet about the abuse. dewan smith-williams is also an advanced practice psychiatric mental health nurse. we welcome you to democracy now! why don't you start, dewan smith-williams, by talking about your own experience, the abuse that you suffered, and what happened when you turned to the nfl for help. well, first, i would like to say thank you so much for having me. i want to say that this isn't about my situation. i'm not a victim. i am here to make a change, hopefully, promote change within the nfl. in my particular situation, -- thend i became situation, our marriage became very tumultuous. he basically wanted to do what he wanted to do and when i would oppose it, there would be problems. i was a participant in the arguing and the fighting. in my situation, i think of my husband had been in the diversion program for drug and alcohol for use of marijuana. he was just doing what he wanted to d

dewan williams with us, married to the retired player wally williams. n says she, too, met with domestic violence at one point in their relationship and after it happened that's the key part, that the coaches told her, don't talk to the media, don't get a lawyer, and she says the league turned a blind eye to ray rice's axship but that they should not band him for life. why not? >> well, i feel that because domestic violence has been an ongoing issue within the nfl, for many years, and because it has never been viewed by the public, you know, it was allowed to go on. now that there's something that is -- that you can see with your own eyes and witness it, if you told someone that something like that happened to you, they would say no way, he would never do that, that would never happen. you turn around and marry that person. but there was something there that allowed her to do that. >> now the league told you, don't get a lawyer. >> uh-huh. >> and don't talk about this. how did you respond to that and what did you think of that? how did they tell you? >>

. >> that's consistent with the wives of nfl players we've been talking to including dewan williams saying she tried to notify the nfl multiple times in emergency situations and they wouldn't take her calls. a troubling trend there. tom, there's also the legal aspect to consider. the ravens team owner touched on that last night. take a listen. >> had you known in february what was on that video inside the elevator, would you have fired him then? >> we would have probably been told that we should wait till the court case came out. they had it. the police had it and gave them equal misdemeanors that night. again, that's astounding to me. and every -- for me to tell you the truth it, makes me look like i'm pointing fingers at other people but they gave them equal misdemeanors. >> in other words, what you're saying is you weren't getting a signal from the courts in new jersey that this was as bad. >> or the prosecutor that gave him probation. >> tom, so much of this national conversation has focused on the league. should some blame also lie with the court system here? >> ronan, prosecutors and

and joining me now is dewan smith williams and harry carson. >>> i was rapped by the interview you gaves morning. it's a painful and difficult thing to talk about, an incident you had with a significant other. for people who didn't see that, i wonder if you could say what happened? >> well, you know, over my football career, i've really taken great pride in just being a gentleman and conducting myself the way i was expected to conduct myself. i had great coaches who instilled certain values in me. i was one of those guys who said i would never hit a woman. i would never even raise my hand to a woman until i got into a situation where we got into an argument, it started to escalate. and, as a result of the escalation, both of us sort of came to blows. and it didn't last very long. it was five or ten seconds, but, you know, those five or ten seconds or moments of my life that i always regret. because i recognize from that points forward that that was not the person that i should be with. that i allowed my buttons to be pushed and i did not control my own impulses to just turn and walk awa

i want to bring in someone who knows, dewan williams, married to retired nfl player wally williams andays the nfl has a history of not helping women in domestic violence cases. i was watching you listen to the commissioner. what's your reaction to what the commissioner had to say in. >> i think he's full of it. i think that it's disheartening for them to even say that they had no idea what was on that tape. clearly, the way that went down. that is something that has happened before. she is, it's just disheartening, i know for myself and i was never punched like that. but when you reach out, you know, you're left on an island by yourself. people dissociate themself from you. the nfl turns their back on you. >> there's so much to ask you about. help us understand. you, you've experienced your own issues and you've been forthcoming about it you've had your own issues with domestic violence in your marriage. >> i have, nothing that i'm proud of and i'm not here to throw my husband under the bus, he's a wonderful provider, great father. and somehow we're still married. however, there were i

joining us now are nbc national reporter and dewan smith williams, wife of foreigner nfl offensive lineman founder of saving promise, a nonprofit aiming to stop intimate partner violence. and managing director of a domestic violence project. in this most recent week as the the nfl has decided to get tough on ray rice, who does that help most? >> the nfl. zble it's making them feel like they are corrupting the probleming. or maybe making the the problem better. but it's not about make it better or correcting it. it's about changing the behavior that has been ongoing for a very, very long time. and it saddens my heart to see j janay in the video. you can see the hurt and pain in her face. any woman who has been in a situation where they have been, whether verbally abused, physically abused, abuse is abuse. any woman that has been in that experience knows that pain without a shadow of a doubt. and you know, right now janay is protecting what she has, because that's all she has. >> when you say that, i do not want to miss that. i keep feeling like the story that emerging from this, if you list