>> dicky: from >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- j.k. simmons - from viceland, action bronson - and music from air. and now, if it's all right with you, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and a [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: hi, >> jimmy: hi, how you doing? thank you very much. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. thanks for all the noise. i have an important message for those of you who have been posting your opinions about who won the debate last night on facebook. here's the thing. anyone who already agreed with you will continue to agree with you. anyone who didn't, won't. [ laughter ] next time, instead of writing out a long, passionate thing, take a nap, you'll be glad you did. how many of you watched the debate last night? [ cheers and applause ] at least half at least half of you are i just know it. if i have to go around and interrogate everyone, i will. as predicted, this was the most-watched debate in the history of ever. more than 84 americans watched on television alone. they covered national secu

we'll be right back with music >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank patrick dempsey, justin schmidt and bugs. and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first their album is called "currents," here with the song "the less i know the better", tame impala! ? ? ? someone said they left together i ran out the door ? she was holding hands with trevor not the greatest feeling ever ? ? said, pull yourself together you should try your luck with heather ? ? then i heard they slept together oh, the less i know the better ? ? the less i know the better oh my love, can't you see yourself by my side no surprise when you're ? ? on his shoulder like every night oh my love, can't you see that you're on my mind ? ? don't suppose we could to change his mind so goodbye ? ? she said, it's not now or never wait ten years we'll be together ? ? i said, better late than never just don't make me wait forever? ? don't make me wait forever don't make me wait f

>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by aflac. health can change but the life no! who's gonna' help cover the holes in their plans? aflac! like rising co-pays and deductibles... aflac! or help pay the mortgage? or child care? aflaaac! and everyday expenses? aflac! learn about one day pay at aflac.com/boat blurlbrlblrlbr!!! whatcha got there? new cheez-it sandwich crackers made with real cheese sammich... sandwich sammich sammich see!!! ahahaha! we take time for our cheese to mature, in our new cheez-it sandwich crackers. sammiches... (foot steps) ? (crickets chirping) ? (jet engine) ? (heart beat) (rain drops) (engine revving) (tires on wet road) narrator: fewer new hampshire students are graduating debt free, while wall street and oil companies get billions in tax breaks. and whose side is kelly ayotte on? she voted to cut funding for pell grants and against letting students refinance their loans at lower rates. all while voting for tax breaks for the special interests like oil companies that give millions to help her campaign. k

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, lupita nyong'o bill o'reilly celebrities read mean tweets and music from jake owen and now, the moment we've been waiting for -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: welcome. very nice. i'm jimmy, the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. thanks for everything. very, very kind. we have a lot on tap tonight. so just relax and let it wash all over you. guillermo and i will handle everything, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: right, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right, very good. i see a lot of comments online from donald trump supporters asking why you always make jokes about donald trump. and not about hillary clinton. and it's true. you know, i do make more jokes about donald trump than hillary clinton. no question about it. but that's just because hillary clinton is boring. okay? [ laughter ] hillary clinton today was in -- spent the day in orlando at a youth center talking about the economy, yawn. whereas donald trump today visited an african-am

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank my i guests and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first, their album is called "twenty years," here with the song ? ? ? ? kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars ? ? the stars the stars ? kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars ? kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars ? ? ? ? ? ? ? kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars ? ? ? kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars ? ? kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars ? ? kelly watch the stars ? [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? ? ? ? ? >>> this is "nightline." >> tonight -- >> did anybody see that debate last night? >> the political aftershocks after the most-watched presidential debate in history. both candidates claim

. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, patrick dempsey, bug expert dr. justin schmidt and music from tame impala. and now, here we go again -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> kevin: very nice. thanks, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. welcome to hollywood. this is where it all happens. some good, mostly -- hey, did you see what happened on "dancing with the stars" last night? something actually happened on "dancing with the stars" last night. [ laughter ] protesters interrupted the show to protest ryan lochte, upset that the olympic swimmer is part of the competition and decided to run onstage to tell everyone about it. this is what viewers saw at home. watch as judge carrie ann inaba tries to give ryan his score. >> you brought your best to this ballroom. you have a long way to go -- excuse me, hey, back off! excuse me! excuse me! excuse me! >> wow. okay. i'll tell you what. all right. we're going to -- we'll take a break. we'll get the rest of the judges' comments. take a deep brett. we'll be right

>> dicky: from hollywood -- it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, winona ryder, casey wilson, "this week in unnecessary censorship" and music from yg. and now, in the meantime, here's jimmy kimmel! ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my name is jimmy. i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i'm glad you're in a good mood. i know a lot of you are here for the holiday. we have a holiday weekend on the way. the unofficial but emotional end of summer, labor day. the day on which here in l.a. we transition from 3/4length lululemons with mesh to full-length lululemons with no mesh at all. [ laughter ] i don't really have a plan for labor day. usually i just pack a bunch of beach stuff in my car a then sit on the 405 for ahours. [ laughter ] i did have g summer, though. i caughtore pokemon this summer than any summer before in my life. [ cheers and applause ] one of them right over there. i got that one on the beach. [ laughter ] donald trump had quite a day yesterday. donald trump went to mexico t meet with the president of me

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank kaley cuoco, phil rosenthal and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first, their album, "oh my my" comes out october 7th. onerepublic! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? days when we'd fight we'd fight til i would give in ? ? yeah perfect disasters we were reaching reaching for the rafters hey ? ? and on most of the days we were searching for ways ? ? to get up and get out of the town that we were raised yeah cause we were done ? ? i remember we were sleeping in cars we were searching for oz ? ? we were burning cigars with white plastics tips til we saw the sun and we said crazy things like ? ? i refuse to look back thinking days were better just because around the corner way i feel right now i swear we'll never change ? ? back when we were kids swore we would never die you and me were kids swear that we'll never die ? ? lights down and we drive and we're drivin just to get out ? ? yeah perfe

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- kaley cuoco -- from "i'll have what phil's having," phil rosenthal. and music from onerepublic. and now, after all -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] this is the moto van. that's very nice. this if you're wondering, this is the first piece of carry-on luggage you can drive. this is a little -- you drive it through the airport, you drive it to the sin that bon, to the hudson news. if you're a drug dealer load it up with drugs and use it as a getaway car. this is one of those ideas that started as, you know what would be awesome? a piece of luggage you could drive to the airport but then nobody had the sense to stop, they kept going with the and a million dollars later they carefully up with this. but we have some fun planned with the motobag tonight. later on kaley cuoco and i are going to race -- i don't know what these people are cheering for but we are going to race out on hollywood boulevard on these motorized suitcases until one of us veers into traffic and

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, aaron eckhart from "so you think you can dance," cat deeley and music from nathaniel rateliff & the night sweats. and now, believe me when i tell you -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: thanks, everybody. hello. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. today is the last day of august i'm unhappy to report. i feel we're pushing summer out too soon. i know school's starting early for a lot of the kids and there's not a whole lot we can do about that. there is something we can put a stop to and i'd like to lead that charge. smst this is something that really bothers me. you know they're already serving pumpkin spice lattes? august isn't even over yet. dunkin' donuts and mcdonald's have already been selling pumpkin spice-flavored drinks. this is a problem. it's especially a problem here in l.a. becau never changes here, pumpkin spice is the only way we know what season it is. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: by the way, little-known fac

dicky, aren't they? we trained them all afternoon, i'm surprised that they're not -- in rehearsal i said, you can train chickens? they're like, oh, yeah, you can. no, you can't. all right, there they were, chickens wearing pants, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] looks like they're about to do karate, you know? i hope they show this as part of my in memoriam montage when i die. we have to take a break. these two foreigners will compete for a chance to upgrade from their youth hostel to a real hotel room. hello, foreigners. in an exciting game we call "hostel la vista," so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] to the sticky... the stinky... even those who get a little icky. to all the beautiful mess makers, keep it up... with delta in2ition plus h2okinetic, you can. poor mouth breather. allergies? stuffy nose? can't sleep? take that. a breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than allergy medicine alone. mouthbreathers. breathe right. every day starts better with a healthy smile

>> dicky: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- denzel washington from "speechless," minnie driver and music from usher. and now, by the power vested in me -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: hi, there. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. that's very kind. i'll say something. there are a lot of important and life-threatening and world-changing things going on lately. than ever. but none of them are as foundation-shaking as the news we received about brad and angelina today. i'm sure you've heard, angelina jolie filed for divorce from brad pitt. and of course all the celebrity gossip magazines are claiming victory. you know they broke this story, they broke the story every week for the last 11 years. [ laughter ] over and over and over again. until finally i don't know, brad and angelina, it's very sad news for them, also great nude for tom hiddleston and taylor swift who don't have to be on this coverage anymore. apparently the reason they're getting divorc

>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by aflac. health can change but the life no! who's gonna' help cover the holes in their plans? aflac! like rising co-pays and deductibles... aflac! or help pay the mortgage? or child care? aflaaac! and everyday expenses? aflac! learn about one day pay at aflac.com/boat blurlbrlblrlbr!!! whatcha got there? new cheez-it sandwich crackers made with real cheese ch with a d sammich... sandwich sammich sammich see!!! ahahaha! we take time for our cheese to mature, in our new cheez-it sandwich crackers. sammiches... (foot steps) ? (crickets chirping) ? (jet engine) ? (heart beat) (rain drops) (engine revving) (tires on wet road) >> jimmy: hi, there. tonight on the show, the author of this book called "the sting of the wild." this guy stung himself with more than 80 insects, and wrote a book about it. tonight we're going to release them into our studio audience, ought to be fun. then, from perth, which is now in australia, their latest album is called "currents," tame impala from the samsung outdoor st

>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by aflac. health can change but the life you love doesn't have to. aflac! like rising co-pays and deductibles... aflac! or help pay the mortgage? or child care? aflaaac! and everyday expenses? aflac! learn about one day pay at aflac.com/boat blurlbrlblrlbr!!! whatcha got there? new cheez-it sandwich crackers made with real cheese ummmm....sammiches sandwich with a d sammich... sandwich sammich sammich see!!! ahahaha! we take time for our cheese to mature, in our new cheez-it sandwich crackers. sammiches... (foot steps) ? (crickets chirping) ? (jet engine) ? (heart beat) ? (engine revving) (tires on wet road) in one door - a member of congress. out another - a high-paid lobbyist. 131 former members of congress are now lobbyists in washington, dc. that's why i'm fighting for a new law to permanently ban former members of congress from ever becoming lobbyists. i'm michael bennet and i approve this message because congress should only work for you. first there's shaving. blades. sharp and precise.